Una Mattina - You or Nothing

Chapter 9: Comfort

"Ha Neul. Ha Neul, stop."

Ha Neul's chest was bubbling in anger as she ran out of the building, her ankles already aching. But she couldn't stop.

What in the world would Woo Bin think of her, crashing their function with her wrapped in his friend's arm? Not even a day after—

"If you want to leave, I'll take you home."

She couldn't control her irritation anymore. She turned around to face him, not afraid to hide her feelings. "Why would you even bring me here?"

Ji Hoo eventually caught up to her. To her utter frustration, he had his passive mask back on, looking unbothered by the whole situation. "Because I wanted to."

"Why? Jesus—" Ha Neul pressed her hand against her forehead in exasperation.

"You don't believe me?" Ji Hoo asked, his brows furrowing.

"Why didn't you tell me Woo Bin was going to be here?"

"Would you have come if I did?"

The more Ji Hoo spoke, the more frustrated she became. "What—Of course not! And that's exactly the point!"

"Why?" he asked, and it seemed like he genuinely was confused about it. Ji Hoo stepped forward slowly, leaving only a few feet between them. "Please, I'm trying to understand. Why is it the point?"

"Because—" Ha Neul stuttered, distracted by the honest confusion in his expression. Was he really that dense? Taking a deep breath, she said, "Because it's inappropriate. You know very well that Woo Bin and I…Last night, we…"

Ji Hoo tilted his head. "And?"

She let out a loud sigh of exasperation. "Now, he sees me again, with you. Do you really not understand?"

A pause. "You care what he thinks?"

"No, I—Well, yes. I guess I do care. I don't want him to get the wrong idea."

"Do you like him?"

"It's not that simple!" Ha Neul tried to explain. "Not everything is like that, Ji Hoo."

"I see," Ji Hoo said, looking as if he was still processing the situation. "Then I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry," he repeated, frowning slightly. "I suppose I really didn't think it through. I won't pull something like this again."

There was a long silence after that as Ha Neul steadied her breathing. Maybe I acted too rashly, she said regretfully. She instantly felt embarrassed with herself and her harsh words. "I'm sorry, too."

Ji Hoo closed the gap even further between them, and she felt her heartbeat quicken. With a bit of hesitation on his part, he reached out to give what was probably his attempt at a comforting touch on her shoulder. "Can I say something?"

She sighed. "Yeah?"

"I don't think you're giving Woo Bin enough credit," he said. "If what he thinks bothers you, then you have nothing to worry about. He's a good guy. He wouldn't jump to conclusions, not about you."

Her humiliation grew even more upon recalling her reaction at the hall. "Fuck. I made it worse in my head, didn't I?"

"No," he assured her, squeezing her shoulder. "It was my fault."

There was another round of silence, but more comfortable this time.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he finally asked.

"No," she decided, smiling up at him. "You should go back inside. Hang out with your friends."

"Or you could come back in with me."

Ha Neul looked up at him with confusion. "You still want me to come with you? Even after the scene I just made back there?"

He nodded once. "I like being here with you."

His words were harmless and kind, but they made something in her chest twist regardless. Taking a deep breath, she sighed, "Okay."

Ji Hoo smiled widely at that, offering his arm to her. "Okay. Come on, I know you're probably itching for a drink."

Woo Bin didn't notice them come back in, as he'd distracted himself by interacting with Yi Jeong's guests. It wasn't until he was at the refreshments table, getting his fourth drink for the night, that he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.

He turned around and was taken aback at the sight of her again. Seeing Ha Neul up close again triggered the memory of the previous night, which he scrambled to wave off immediately.

"Hey," she greeted with a hesitant smile.

"Hey, you."

"I'm really sorry about earlier." She tucked a lock behind her ear, looking slightly anxious. "I was just—I was really taken aback that you're here. I shouldn't have acted the way I did."

"Is that what he told you to feel?" Woo Bin asked, narrowing his eyes.

"What?"

Woo Bin sighed. "Never mind. I'm just saying you shouldn't be apologizing. It's Ji Hoo's fault for not being transparent with you."

"Please don't be mad at him," she suddenly said, her wide eyes beseeching. "I just…He found me and we spent the day together, and he just strung me along because he was being nice. He's already apologized."

Found me? Spent the day together? "I'm—It's all good," he lied. "Don't worry about it."

Ha Neul seemed relieved with his response. Reaching out a hand, she said, "Friends?"

Woo Bin stared at her small, elegantly manicured hand for a few moments. He decided to take it in his and shook it once. "Friends."

He mentally scolded his heart for beating the way it did at her smile.

It didn't take long for him to get Ji Hoo alone. He'd left the table to use the restroom, and Woo Bin followed him to the empty hall to confront him.

"What are you playing at?" he asked before Ji Hoo could reach the bathroom doors.

Ji Hoo froze but didn't turn around to face him yet. "What?"

"Ha Neul. Did you bring her here to pick a fight with me? What game are you playing?"

He decided to face him this time, and to Woo Bin's surprise, there was a hint of hostility in his expression. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"What?" Woo Bin said, bewildered.

"You said you wanted to keep seeing her," Ji Hoo said, stepping forward. "Then I find her in the street outside your apartment where you practically abandoned her, leaving her in shorts in this weather?"

Woo Bin's hands turned into fists. "You went by my apartment?"

"What made you change your mind?" Ji Hoo pressed, his voice raising. "Was she not interesting enough for you? Is that why you decided to just fuck her and leave?"

"You fucking bastard!" Woo Bin cried, stepping forward to grab him by the collar, shoving him against the wall. "Listen here, Ji Hoo. Normally, I would fucking die for you. But let me tell you––Your shit with Jun Pyo? You got off easy. Because if you mess with Ha Neul the way you did with Jan Di, I will fucking kill you."

Ji Hoo pushed him away roughly, breathing heavily.

"Because that's what this is about, isn't it?" Woo Bin continued, still shaking with anger. "Ga Eul told me all about it. She still keeps in touch with her. Jan Di's relationship is on the rocks and she sought you out, and now you're fucking confused."

"Jan Di's got nothing to do with this," Ji Hoo growled.

Woo Bin laughed humorlessly.

"Are you saying that after how you treated Ha Neul, you're now admitting you actually care about her?"

Woo Bin heaved a deep breath. "Yes."

"And I'm the one who's confused," Ji Hoo mumbled, shaking his head.

"Just leave her alone," Woo Bin said, his voice calmer now. "I'm not asking again."

Ji Hoo stepped forward, looking him straight in the eye. "I can't."

They stayed like that for a while, staring down at each other with hostility. In the end, Woo Bin was the first to step back. "You know what? Do what you want. But I'm not leaving her alone either."

"I didn't ask you to," Ji Hoo said simply, walking away from him.

The next few weeks were tiring and less eventful for Ha Neul.

After the whirlwind that was Yi Jeong's homecoming function, she'd decided to keep some space between her and the F4. She focused instead on her getting accustomed to her new job at Yonghwa and reconnecting with her girlfriends. Slowly, she was piecing back her life together again.

She deserved to live peacefully again…didn't she?

Thankfully, Ji Hoo didn't pressure her into interacting again. He hadn't made a move to reach out to her since that night. The situation wasn't the same with Woo Bin, as he continued to text her at least once a day. It comforted her, however, that he made no impression that he was at all irked by her unresponsiveness.

She'd just gotten out of her chauffeured car from another late night with friends. As her driver opened the car door for her, he said, "We'll be sending over the next shift of guards for the night, ma'am."

"No need," she decided. "I'll just be heading to bed. You can go home now."

"Thank you, ma'am," the driver bowed, then left soon after.

It wasn't until she was fully bathed and dressed for bed that her phone vibrated on the nightstand. As soon as she read the text, her blood ran cold.

Shouldn't you be dead?

It was from an unknown number, but she knew that even if she tracked it down, it would end up being a burner. He hadn't sent anything threatening to her since the incident, and she'd recklessly thought that it meant he'd given up.

Apparently, that wasn't the case.

Panic bubbled quickly in her chest and she shakily called for Mr. Shin. No response. A million scenarios suddenly popped in her mind. What if he comes for me tonight? Did I lock the doors? Close all the windows?

Without giving it much thought, she scrolled through her contacts, desperate for anyone that could possibly help her that night. She can't be alone.

Suddenly another text came through, and she was terrified that it would be him again. But it wasn't.

Thinking of u, it read simply.

Gradually, the fear in her chest dissipated. She suddenly remembered how comfortable and warm she'd felt in his arms. Without much thought, she pressed a shaky finger on the call button next to his name.

"Hey, you," Woo Bin's sleepy voice greeted after only a couple of rings.

Hearing him speak managed to help even her breathing. "Hey."

"This isn't a butt dial, is it?"

She laughed at that, suddenly feeling tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "No," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I needed to hear your voice."

A pause. "Have you been crying?"

She tried to suppress a sniffle but was unsuccessful. "I'm not doing so good."

"Where are you?" His voice had turned serious and concerned. "Are you home?"

"Yeah." She wiped another tear on her cheek. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

"I'm on my way. Can you stay in the call with me until I get there?"

"You don't have to do this," she whimpered, but deep down, she wanted him to.

"I know," he said. "But I want to."

Woo Bin patiently caressed the side of her face while she snuggled her face against his chest, releasing anguished sobs. They sat like that on her living room couch for what seemed like hours, but he wasn't really counting; the only thing on his mind was trying to figure out what was causing this panic attack.

Even Haru, her dog who he'd just met, looked worried as he whined on the floor.

"Breathe with me," he said softly, as he demonstrated a slow breathing exercise.

Ha Neul tried to follow, looking in his eyes as she did. "I—can't—"

"It's okay," he assured her, patting her gently on the back. "Take your time."

They went on like that for a few more minutes, until Ha Neul was finally able to breathe evenly. Once she did, he stood up to get her a glass of water.

"I'm sorry," Ha Neul said once he came back with a tray.

"You need to learn to stop apologizing." He set the tray down on the coffee table and handed her the glass. "Finish this for me."

Ha Neul followed him, and he watched her swallow every drop. He wiped the side of her lips once she finished and pulled her back to an embrace.

Gently, he asked, "Will you tell me what happened?"

"I'm just so tired, Woo Bin," she sighed, closing her eyes.

"What are you tired of?"

"Being scared. I'm fucking scared all the time."

Woo Bin pursed his lips, tracing letters on the side of her hip as he usually did. "Does this have something to do with what happened to you? And how you ended up with a bullet in your chest?"

She stopped breathing for a moment. Then, she pulled herself away from their embrace and sat up properly. "It doesn't matter."

"Don't do that," he said. "I'm trying to understand. You have to let me."

"Why? Why do you care so much?"

Woo Bin felt himself grow frustrated from her constant pulling away. "I can't fucking help myself, that's why!"

She stared at him with wide, frantic eyes. "Well, you should stop."

He found himself laughing bitterly at that. He put his head in his hands and let out a frustrated groan. "You're driving me nuts, Ha Neul. You call me here, saying you need me, but the moment I show even a tiny glimpse of genuine concern for you, you push me away. Why?"

"You know why."

"Oh, yeah, I remember," he said hotly. "Simple and uncomplicated. That's what you want from me, right?"

Ha Neul scoffed, her eyes darting around his face with an incredulous expression. "Why do you make it sound like a terrible thing?"

"Because I—" Woo Bin cut himself off, his hands trembling at his sides. "You know what, forget it."

He abruptly stood to leave, but before he could walk away, Ha Neul grabbed him by the wrist. "Please don't."

Woo Bin sighed loudly, but he couldn't bring himself to walk away. He heard her shuffle back to her feet and approach him from behind.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm just…really fucked up. It's not an excuse, I really am."

He looked down on the floor, listening to her breathe.

"I'm not a good person, Woo Bin," she said in a shaky voice. "If I was, I wouldn't be so afraid of––you know, complications. I'm the last person to deserve it. And that's on me, not you."

"God, you sound like me," he muttered, finally turning around to face her.

"I'm not trying to play you," she said indubitably.

"Then at least answer me this," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Do you want me here?"

Ha Neul pressed her lips together. "Yes," she breathed.

"And do you want me to stay?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"That's enough for me, at least for now," Woo Bin sighed, pulling her to an embrace. He took a deep breath as Ha Neul tightened her grip around his dress shirt.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked sheepishly once they pulled away. "I…can't be alone."

Woo Bin leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Of course."

They didn't have sex that night. Woo Bin made sure it wouldn't lead to that, because…

Are you saying that after how you treated Ha Neul, you're now admitting you actually care about her?

He refused to make that define who he was to her. Even though he knew it was what she would've wanted, he wasn't about to give in so easily. He wanted to matter to her. And he was a stubborn man.

Woo Bin lay next to her on her bed, cradling her sleeping figure in his arms. He peppered gentle kisses on her face––on her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her chin––and caressed the hair on her head the way he knew she liked. He greedily breathed in her flowery, clean scent, imprinting her in his memory. He took pleasure in the fact that even in her sleep, her fingers constantly wandered around his body, as if she was trying to make sure he was still there.

He should never have left her alone after that night in his apartment. Ji Hoo was right.

"Min-ju."

Her voice was clear and sure, and for a moment, he thought she'd woken up. But Ha Neul still had her lids closed, her eyes rapidly moving underneath them. Her fingers twitched on his chest as she dreamed.

"Stop it," she whispered. "Min-ju, stop."

Woo Bin studied her face as she spoke in her unconsciousness. She looked worried and scared. He wanted to shake her awake, but––

"Please don't leave me," she whispered this time, and he watched as a single tear escaped from her closed eyelid. "Stay with me, Min-ju."

Who the fuck is Min-ju?

He jumped when he felt a phone vibrating on the nightstand. Woo Bin gently let her go and set her down comfortably on the bed. He tucked her in snugly before standing up to pick up his phone––

––Except it wasn't his. It was Ha Neul's. The phone continued to ring, and he read the caller ID. Mr. Shin.

He pursed his lips as he gingerly put the phone in his hands. It really wasn't his business…He looked to Ha Neul's peaceful sleeping figure on the bed, weighing his options.

Taking a deep breath, he walked away to leave the room as he pressed to accept the call. "Hello?"

"Hello?" The voice was gravelly, and it seemed to be coming from someone much older. "Who is this? Is Ms. Park alright? Is she safe?"

Safe? "Yes," Woo Bin said slowly. "She's asleep right now."

"And who might you be?" The man's voice sounded hostile. "I need to hear from Ms. Park right now."

"I told you, she's asleep," he said, keeping his voice down so as not to wake Ha Neul.

"Tell me who you are!"

"Excuse me?" Woo Bin narrowed his eyes. "This is Song Woo Bin, CEO of Il-Sim Construction. Look me up. I'm here with Ms. Park because she called me up to accompany her. Now will you tell me who you are and what this is about?"

There was a deafening silence for a few seconds. "I apologize, Mr. Song. It's our job to make sure Ms. Ha Neul is safe, especially given the recent circumstances."

"Wait," Woo Bin said, trying to piece it together. "You're protection? As in…hired security? Why?"

"I believe that is for Ms. Park to disclose, and not us," Mr. Shin said evenly. "Please let her know that I have dispatched two guards to the house already. In the meantime, I only request that you keep her safe."

"She's safe with me," Woo Bin asserted before ending the call.

Woo Bin slowly walked back into the room, clutching the phone in his hands. Ha Neul still lay in the same position that he'd left her. She seemed to have stopped dreaming now, as her face was in a neutral, peaceful expression.

He lay down facing her on the bed, propping his head on his arm.

Min-ju, Mr. Shin, a gunshot wound, hired protection…

"Are you running from something, Ha Neul?" Woo Bin whispered, reaching out to caress her hair.

"You look like shit," Yi Jeong commented flatly, sipping his tea.

Woo Bin sat across from him in the café booth, his mind still a million miles away. He had his hand fidgeting with the ends of his hair as he thought about his situation.

"Just spit it out," his friend sighed.

Woo Bin finally looked up at him. "What?"

"I know it's about that girl. You still haven't properly explained that to me, by the way. And are you really giving Ji Hoo the cold shoulder again? I thought high school was over."

Woo Bin leaned forward, still thinking. "What would you do if someone you like and really care about––but you guys aren't anything––is in trouble? But she doesn't want to tell you any details, let alone give you permission to help her?"

Yi Jeong furrowed his brows, turning serious. "Are you saying Ms. Park is in trouble?"

"She might be," Woo Bin said grimly. "I'm just not sure what kind of trouble yet."

"Did you try talking to her about it?"

"Of course I did," he sighed, leaning back in his seat in dismay. "She won't talk to me. She…doesn't want me to care."

"Well, have you tried talking to Ji Hoo about it?"

"Why the fuck would––" Woo Bin cut himself off, surprised by how aggressive his own tone was. Clearing his throat, he tried again, "Why would I?"

Yi Jeong studied his expression with mild amusement. "He seems to care about her, too."

"Yeah. And?"

"Maybe––and I'm just thinking out loud here––you could figure it out together," Yi Jeong shrugged.

"Ji Hoo? Why don't you help me out instead?"

Yi Jeong grinned playfully at that. "Well, I'm a busy taken man now. I just reunited with my soulmate, and I'd rather spend my free time making it up to her than deal with this new love triangle nonsense. No offense."

Woo Bin shook his head, chuckling softly. "Man, you really got it all now, don't you?"

"What can I say? The universe loves me." Then, a little more seriously, he said, "Call him."

"I'll think about it," Woo Bin said simply, taking his first sip of tea.

Ji Hoo took a deep breath as he stood outside the familiar dark teak doors. He ran a hand against the troughs of the wood, not sure what he was feeling. It had been a long time since he stepped foot here.

He turned his head slightly to the side, reading the engraved room label. F4 Classroom.

Sighing again, he pushed the doors open and strode inside. The room has been well maintained, probably as memorabilia for the next generation of students. Ji Hoo thought it was wasteful to keep a room like this untouched and unused. He walked over to his desk––which still had his name on the plaque––and ran another hand across its surface.

There were a lot of memories here. Several years' worth of them. Was that why he wanted to meet here?

"You're late. That's new."

Woo Bin was already seated on his desk, his long legs casually crossed on top of it. His expression was cool and calm.

"I wasn't sure I wanted to come," Ji Hoo said.

"Why's that?"

"You might just try to hit me again."

That made Woo Bin chuckle, at least. He dragged his feet down from the desk as he said, "No, I'm not here to fight you."

"Then why did you call me here?" Ji Hoo sat himself down at the edge of his old desk, crossing his arms.

Woo Bin's expression turned dark and cloudy, and he took a deep breath before speaking. "How much do you know about Ha Neul?"

Ji Hoo chose to be silent, still not quite understanding where this was going.

"You were her surgeon, weren't you?" he pressed. "I saw the scar. It's obviously a gunshot wound. How did she get hurt? Where was she found?"

"I'm not supposed to disclose that information."

"For fuck's sa––Ji Hoo. I'm sure you've felt it, too, knowing that you care so much about her. She's into some kind of trouble. But she won't say a word about it to anyone, so it has to be something that she's trying to deal with on her own."

Ji Hoo looked away, his brows furrowed. Of course, he'd considered that. But respecting her wishes to keep out of her business had been his top priority.

He turned to face Woo Bin, who had a determined look on his face. Knowing him, Woo Bin just wasn't the type of person to just let things go, especially when it was about something he truly cared about. And now that he seemed to care about Ha Neul…

"It was her wish not to get the police involved," Ji Hoo finally said. "I merely respected it."

Woo Bin scoffed. "Just like that? You never even bothered to follow up on her, even think about her safety? No one gets shot like that in the chest for no reason."

"That was what she wanted," Ji Hoo asserted.

"Well, I'm not going to let it pass," Woo Bin countered, standing up from his seat. "Ha Neul called me a few days ago. She was in the middle of a severe panic attack and I took care of her. I even found out she hired a third-party security detail to keep her safe. Jesus––She's fucking terrified, Ji Hoo."

Ji Hoo looked up, startled by that new information. Panic attack? Security detail? "Did she explain why?"

"Of course not," he responded in dismay, scratching the back of his head. "But this isn't something anyone can just sweep under the rug. This sort of business…it's familiar to me. I've seen it happen before."

"What do you think it is?"

Woo Bin looked up grimly. "I think someone called a hit on Park Ha Neul."