Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, made possible by the Ranger's Apprentice by John Flanagan. I have only borrowed his creation and I make no money. For this story I have used several other Rangers from the books, though I've also added my own. I do this only in the hope to entertain…
Author's Note: No harm shall come to the characters that can't be fixed with enough coffee…

Chapter 11

"Not bad," Halt stated and watched as Will's whole face shone up. It hadn't been too bad, though it might have been better. The hardest part about training Will really was to not compare him in any way with Gilan. A task that wasn't easier because Gilan was there, and yet, wasn't Gilan.

Unseen movements, such as Will had just performed had always been one of Gilan's favorites. Not only because he was a natural at it, which he was, but somehow it allowed him to focus all of his enormous amount of energy on one thing. Will thought the obstacle course that Halt had built up to be exhausting, mind numbing and impossibly hard. Gilan had thought it was fun, a great break from drills and a chance to run around like a maniac. Halt had quickly seen that it was a bit too hard for Will. Not only did he not have Gilan's reach, but he didn't have his incessant need to always be moving, and therefore had never wanted to see just how far he could jump for the sake of it, as Gilan constantly did. He didn't have Gilan's endurance, and it wasn't fair to expect it from him. So Halt had removed a couple of the obstacles, lowered a few of the ropes, and then told him to run it if he liked it or not.

Gilan, who had performed the same routines since he was a small child, thought it was the best thing in the world to be challenged in so many different ways. Halt never really told him to run the course. It was more akin to a reward after a hard days work for him. Promise the boy he could do five laps around it, and he'd spend the whole morning practicing archery without a word of complaint…

After just a few lessons from Halt, Gilan had surpassed most of the first, and even second year cadets in unseen movements. By the time of his second year assessment, he was better than many of the full Rangers. So Halt knew very well he could not expect that of Will. Instead, he had found out from Crowley about what was acceptable, and pushed his apprentice to be just a little better than that.

Just as he had done with Gilan, he had told him to circle the clearing, and would call out to him anytime he spotted him. Occasionally, he did so even when he did not see him, not to be cruel, but to get Will in the habit of trusting the cloak. Most who thought they had been spotted instantly moved and tried for better cover, which was often when they actually were spotted. The best thing to do was to freeze, and trust the cloak, and you were almost always overlooked.

"Your turn," now he nodded to Gilan who had been sitting, toying with a blade of grass. The sullen lethargy he was displaying was really starting to get on Halt's nerves. It was so unlike Gilan, it was truly like having a stranger. It had made him think of changelings, when a baby was stolen, and replaced with a troll or something such. It was Gilan's face, some of the mannerism was the same, but his Gilan was gone.

Where his boy would have leapt to his feet, so eager to take off he most likely would have tripped over his own feet, this false copy just looked up with a frown. "I'm not a Ranger."

"You are a Ranger, and if training like one might help you remember that, it's what you'll do," Halt stated firmly. "You've seen what Will does, so get to it."

"How is crawling through the mud going to help," Gilan objected.

"It's not hard, I can show you how to do it," Will offered helpfully.

"I got it, I just don't see what good it'll do," still, Gilan shuffled over to the edge of the clearing. Ducking down, he started moving through the underbrush, and Halt sighed.

"I can see you plain as day," he called. "Give it a real try."

"I am," Gilan scowled.

"No, you're not," Halt shook his head. "This is something I happen to know you're good at. Better than most Rangers."

"Well, I'm not a Ranger!" Gilan stalked back out of the tree line. "And saying that isn't going to make me one. I'm not."

"You are a Ranger," Halt sighed, trying to muster up every ounce of patience he possessed. "I was there when you passed your final assessment."

"If so, I can't have been a very good one," Gilan snorted.

"Alright, then what are you?" Halt pushed. "If not a Ranger, then what do you propose you are?"

"I don't know," Gilan's shoulders sagged. "I don't know," there was a tone of desperation in his voice. "But this isn't working. How long have I been here? And I don't know anything more. All I know is that it doesn't matter any what I supposedly was, because even if I was a ranger, I can't be one now."

"Why not?" Will put in.

"Because I can't remember a damn thing about it, you think that will make me a Ranger?" Gilan demanded. "I'd have to do the whole training again, wouldn't I?" he demanded of Halt. "You'd let me take a position, as a Ranger, like this?"

"No, we couldn't," Halt agreed, though it pained him.

"So, how long before you give up and send me away?" Gilan demanded. "Everyone else has got fed up with me so far. Even Crowley, he, I trusted him, but he took me here. Figure it's no surprise, since even my own father couldn't wait to be rid of me."

"What are you talking about?" that was the second time he had heard the boy insinuate that David hadn't wanted him, and now he looked stunned, as if he had divulged more than he had meant to.

"I, I know Sir David is my father," he started slowly. "He came to the infirmary, to talk to me, but when he found I didn't remember him, he didn't say it. He, he, took the chance to be rid of me…"

"Gilan, David would never do that…" Halt sighed. He could very well imagine why David hadn't told the boy he was his father. Because he knew they did not have the closeness between them that Halt did. David was very much aware of that, and would know, no matter how much it hurt him, that it wasn't he who would best be able to help his son.

"I heard him!" Gilan cried. "He was outside the door, they didn't think I was awake, he was talking to someone else, I don't know who it was. He said, he said that me going was the best thing. The other man wanted to know why he didn't keep me there, because he was my father, and he said that it was for the best!"

"The best for you, not for him," Halt stated firmly. "That's why Crowley took you here, because it was the best thing for you. Gilan, your father loves you, but you haven't lived with him for many years. And back then you spent most your time exploring the countryside. Back in Caraway, there was nothing in Araluen castle that would have been familiar to you at all."

"Then why didn't he even tell me he was my father?" Gilan demanded. "If he didn't want to be rid of me, why wouldn't he tell me himself. Why'd he have Crowley do it?"

"Because David was never one to hide from the truth," Halt stated bluntly. "And the truth is, you and him are not close… Gilan, David is a Knight raised by a Knight. To always put duty first, even before family. Because no matter how much that hurts, sometimes there were a lot more people dependent on him doing that duty. No matter how much he loved you, he would not let the people of the country, the ones he swore to protect, suffer for it."

"He let me think I didn't even have a father!" Gilan flared. "Do I have a mother to? Just that no one has told me, did she want to be rid of me to? And that's why?"

Halt's eyes grew hard, it was good the boy was letting it out. He could understand the anger, Gorlog's beard, he understood it. Better he let it out than he bottled it up, but he would not let the boy lash out to hurt others in his anger. "Your mother, died in childbirth, giving birth to you. And your father, who you are so quick to assume did not want you, could have let you be raised by someone else, but he did not. He was a champion Knight, in the King's service as well as at the tournaments, which he did not participate in after you were born, because he had a two year old child with him. That was how your father was known after your birth, as the knight who always had a child with him. You might want to consider what an inconvenience it would be to a Battlemaster, to have a mere babe with him trying to train the cadets. It was a good deal he gave up for you, if you know it or not."

Gilan stood stunned, mouth agape.

"He wanted you to be a knight, and yet, he let you train to be a Ranger instead, because it was what you wanted," Halt continued without mercy. "Maybe he should have told you he was your father, but if he didn't, it was because he thought it was best for you. You became my apprentice when you were fourteen, and you've been a Ranger since then, that's why you're here. Because this is what will be the most familiar to you. What you know best. You haven't really been a knight since you were fourteen, and maybe, you should think about what it cost David to know you were hurt, and to still let Crowley take you here, where he won't even know how you're doing…?"

Gilan dropped his eyes, then slowly raised them, meeting Halt's eye, "sorry…"

"Don't be sorry, make up your mind. Do you want to sulk about what happened, or do you want to let us try to help you?" Halt demanded, and Gilan flinched, biting his lip.

"Gil," Halt put a hand on his shoulder. "if you weren't upset and frustrated, I'd worry a lot more, but this has been so long we know your memory isn't likely to come back on its own. Maybe it won't at all, but by now it has to be obvious that we're trying to help you."

Gilan, seemingly not trusting his voice gave a small nod.

"Then I believe I said it's your turn," he jerked a thumb towards the tree line. "And if I should happen to see your skinny behind as you do it, I might just feel like putting an arrow in it…do you understand?"

Again, Gilan nodded, and Halt gave a pleased nod. "Get moving then," he urged. "None of us are getting anything to eat before you do."

TBC
The caffeine addicted Cricket wants to thank you all for reading...