Surprise! Epov. But sobsss bc email alerts aren't working so idk how many of you will find this update lol

Happy New Year! Mwah.

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thirty-one
i knew you were trouble
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Edward

I watch Bella until she disappears around the block.

It takes a lot not to stop her again because there's so much fucking more I want to say. But I get the feeling interacting with me hurts her as much as it does me.

So I let her go.

I remove my hood and scrub a hand through my hair, feeling raw from that run-in.

I don't even know why I ran out after her. Instinct, maybe. Or just morbid curiosity to see if she's been feeling as shitty as I have. If she misses me. If her feelings for me were as real as she claimed them to be because that's the part that's fucked with me the most.

Frustrated more than before, I walk back into Cafe Allegro and sit across from Charlotte, who looks curiously at me because I bolted from the table when she was mid-sentence.

Despite what Bella thinks, I didn't purposely bring Charlotte here to make her jealous. I was already on my way out, coffee in hand, when she passed by on the sidewalk.

We caught up for a minute. She looked embarrassed but joked that she was on a walk of shame after spending the night with a new guy she was dating.

I was on a walk of shame, but in a different way because I came to Cafe Allegro expecting—hoping—to run into Bella.

"I'm glad I ran into you," Charlotte said, a flash of uncertainty passing over her face. "I've been on the fence about telling you something, but I feel like I should be honest."

I frowned. "Honest about what?"

She hesitated and gestured toward Cafe Allegro. "It's a lot. Can we go in and talk? I was going to grab coffee anyway before heading home."

It was my turn to hesitate. Even if I went there hoping to see Bella, I didn't want to risk her showing up and seeing me with Charlotte.

"I'm actually on my way out," I said, feeling guilty I was blowing her off but not in the mindset to deal with much else. "Raincheck?"

Her face fell. "It's about Carlisle…"

My curiosity and concern for my mom overrode everything else. Charlotte and I walked inside and found a table, and she told me how Carlisle hit on her twice at the gala.

She said the first time, she brushed it off and chalked it up to him having too much alcohol. But the second time, she couldn't let it go.

I fucking saw red after she told me everything. She didn't want to give details, but I pushed for them.

Even if what she said was hard to hear and imagine, I knew she was telling the truth.

I never had any previous concerns about Carlisle. Not concrete ones, anyway, and nothing to do with my mom. Yeah, he's a dick, but he loves her, and my mom always made him soft. My doubt regarding him has always been a vibe. A lingering worry that I could never fucking justify.

Until now.

"Um, you can't run out like that and then sit back down like nothing happened," Charlotte says now that I'm back at the table. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Sorry."

She looks amused. "Nothing, huh? You were locked in on that woman the second she walked in and bolted from the table the second she walked out." There's nothing I can say to downplay how I just acted. "You don't chase women—metaphorically or physically. Who's the lucky gal?"

My knee bounces under the table. "Bella."

"Ahh." She sips her coffee. "I'm gonna need more than just a name, mister."

"She's…"

I don't know who Bella is to me. I spent the last few weeks thinking I was getting to know her, and now I'm stumped. I know she said it was real, and she was more herself with me than anyone else.

But she's also a liar.

She's Rosalie Hale's cousin.

And she's the first woman to break my fucking heart.

I'm not about to confide in Charlotte about all this, though. It'd feel like a betrayal to Bella. And as much as she pisses me off and hurt me, I don't want to make her look bad. I still have the desire to protect her.

"Wow, Edward Cullen is speechless?" Charlotte says teasingly. "I've never seen you like this."

"I've never felt like this," I agree, but it's more complex than she thinks.

Yeah, I still have feelings for Bella. Strong fucking feelings that I can't make disappear despite what she did.

I wasn't lying when I said I was confused. I still am. I can't shake how sad she looked the night she came clean. She admitted she wanted to hurt me, but her eyes told a different story—that she didn't want to and was sorry. It's hard to reconcile her actions with her words because despite not wanting to hurt me, she still did.

Charlotte smiles softly. "She's the woman you brought to the gala, right?"

I nod and finish my coffee. "Yeah."

"Your mom had nice things to say about her," Charlotte says. "I'd love to meet her."

"Yeah, maybe," is all I say because I can't entertain that right now. I need to focus and figure out what I'll do about Carlisle.

Charlotte picks up on my antsy vibe and says, "I won't keep you. I'm sorry about the drama, but it didn't feel right not telling you about your stepdad."

"Why are you sorry?"

She shrugs. "I feel bad."

"Why? You didn't do shit. Carlisle is the one who made it weird by hitting on you."

"I know, but it's awkward. And I've known your family for so long. I kept trying to convince myself I was overreacting and trying to find a way to justify the way he behaved, but I couldn't," she says apologetically. "I thought about telling your mom, but that would be even weirder."

"Yeah, no, I'm grateful you told me," I say before we throw away our trash and walk out together.

"You can go. I'm gonna wait for an Uber," she says, loitering on the sidewalk.

"That guy you're dating didn't offer to drive you home?" I scoff.

Charlotte laughs. "His name is Paul. And don't judge him! I like him."

"Okay, okay. But it's a dick move, no?"

"No, he's fine. He left earlier this morning. He's an anesthesiologist. I didn't want to leave that early, so I opted for more sleep."

"Ah, that's alright then. Y'all work together at Harborview?"

"Yeah. Lots of makeout sessions in janitorial closets and midday romps in empty rooms."

I laugh. "So, a regular episode of Grey's Anatomy."

"Ohhh, you're a closet Grey's fan, huh?"

"It's why I became a doctor," I lie, fighting a smile.

"Oh, shush." She chuckles before turning serious. "Can we never mention any of this again?"

"Sure. I will never admit I've watched an episode of Grey's before."

"Oh, well, yes—take that to the grave. But I meant the Carlisle stuff. Like, I want to forget it happened. You're a good friend, and I don't want to make it weird."

"Yeah, of course." I swallow. "But I'm gonna handle it. I don't know how yet, but I can't let him get away with that shit." She grimaces, and I say, "Hey. It's fine. Trust me."

"Okay, okay." She sighs. "Thank you."

Before we say goodbye, we plan to meet soon for a double date with Paul and Bella. It's her idea, and I don't agree or disagree; I nod and let her think whatever.

As I approach my condo, my phone vibrates in my pocket. Before heading in, I pull it out and see a long message from Bella on the screen.

Bella: I know I have no chill, and you probably don't want to hear from me, but seeing you caught me off guard. I'm sorry for being a bitch. You didn't deserve that after everything I did to you. Yes, I was jealous, but I had no right to be. It's confusing because you still feel like mine, even if you never were. I'm unsure if you're still interested in redoing your condo, but if so, it's probably best I let someone else take over because I don't know how to be around you. No need to reply—I'll take care of everything, and someone will contact you soon. Again, I'm so sorry for everything.

I read it multiple times, conflicted about what to say.

First, she's right—she has no chill, but that's what I always liked about her. But she wasn't a bitch. That thought never crossed my mind. I figured she was deflecting her jealousy with a salty attitude, which was more amusing than irritating. And if her self-deprecating comment of "join the club" after I said I hated what she did was any indication, I'm sure she's been hard on herself.

I appreciate how candid she's being right now. She sounds genuinely apologetic, and if I'm being honest, it further softens me even more. I wanted to be pissed at her today, but once I saw her, I couldn't help it. She's under my skin. In my head. My fucking heart.

But I'm still so torn. I want to acknowledge everything she said, but at the risk of giving her hope and further hurting both of us, I keep it simple and say thanks.

XXX

When I show up unannounced at my folks' place later that night, my mom says, "Well, this is a surprise."

She hugs me and lets me in.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk with Carlisle." Throughout the day, I considered telling my mom about the Charlotte thing. I don't want to upset her if I don't have to, so I'm going to confront Carlisle first and see how he handles it all. His reaction will indicate how this goes. "Is he here?"

"He's in his office. What's up?"

"Ah, just work shit. Wanted to get his opinion on something."

She links her arm with mine, and we walk into the kitchen.

"I'm so happy you're back at work," she says. "I was getting worried."

"I'm fine," I stress. "Please don't worry."

"Of course, I'm going to worry," she chuckles. "I'm your mom."

This is why I didn't tell her the extent of my leave and all of the shit regarding the podcast. She just knew I was struggling mentally after losing a patient.

"Are you staying for dinner?" she asks, letting go of my arm and moving toward the stove. A pot is already bubbling with what smells like tomato sauce.

I don't know if staying after confronting Carlisle is a good idea, but I say yes because my mom looks hopeful.

"Also, are you around next weekend?" she asks, grabbing a wooden spoon to stir. "I wanted to invite you and Bella over for dinner so we can get to know her better."

I wasn't expecting her to bring up Bella, but I should've known she'd pry. My mom means well, though. She always does. And I can't fault her for being excited because, as far as she knows, my love life is usually nonexistent.

"Yeah, I don't know," I say vaguely, not wanting to get into it with her.

"If you're worried about Carlisle, don't be. I got onto him last week about how he behaved, and he feels awful," my mom adds, keeping her voice low, maybe so he won't overhear. "He was in rare form that night."

"Yeah, he made himself look like an ass." In more ways than one. "But I'll let you know about Bella."

"Okay," she says lightly. "She seemed sweet and down to earth."

Bella's lengthy, thoughtful reply is on my mind again.

I feel like a dick for merely thanking her, but I don't know if I can give her much more than that right now. It's only been six days since she told me the truth. I'm feeling fucking gun-shy. I put myself out there, but still don't know how real it all was.

And then there's the other issue: She's related to Rosalie. I wouldn't consider what Rosalie and I did to be dating, and it was twenty years ago, so that's not the problem. But my mom and Carlisle will eventually have to find out, and I'm unsure how well that will go, considering how much the Hales pushed the narrative that I was involved in their daughter's disappearance.

"You seemed really taken with her, too," my mom adds, twisting the metaphorical knife in my chest. "It was sweet how aware you were of her. She moved, you moved."

I get it. And I agree. But I can't do this right now.

"Mom."

She smiles fondly. "Okay, okay, I'll stop."

"I'm gonna go find Carlisle."

"Sounds good. You can help make the salad when you're back down here."

I nod and move through the house, heading upstairs until I'm standing in the doorway of Carlisle's office.

He's sitting at his desk when he sees me.

"Oh," he says, looking up from his computer and removing his glasses. "Didn't know you were coming by."

"Me either," I say, sitting in a leather chair across from him, his desk between us.

"I'm a little busy, but—"

"This won't take long," I say, clipped.

At my tone and stony demeanor, his eyes narrow. "What's on your mind?"

"Charlotte," is all I say.

"Is she now?" His expression is smug. "I thought you were all about Miss Bella Swan. Which I understand after seeing her."

I tense because I don't like her name coming out of his mouth, nor do I want him fucking commenting on her appearance, especially after Charlotte's allegations.

"Charlotte and I talked today," I say, ignoring his remark. "About you."

"Oh." I'm staring too hard not to notice the way his jaw flexes slightly. "How is she?"

"Not great. It seems she was uncomfortable with you hitting on her at the gala last weekend."

Carlisle laughs. "Please. That isn't what happened in the slightest."

"So, when she said she was overwhelmed with work, you didn't inappropriately remark that sex is good for stress relief? And then later, when she left, you didn't force a hug onto her, whisper in her ear to call you, and brush her ass?"

He scoffs, but his face turns red, and he looks uncomfortable. He can deny all he wants, but his physical reactions give him away.

"Absolutely not," he counters. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard."

"Why would she lie?" I challenge. "What's in it for her?"

"You," he says pointedly. "You don't find it odd that she's coming to you with this preposterous claim now that you're seeing someone?"

"No. And she's dating someone, too."

"She's trying to get your attention, son. She was visibly upset at the gala when your mom and I told her you left with Bella. And if she's dating someone, it's to make you jealous."

"Bullshit," I exhale. "We're friends. Always have been."

He gives me a look. "Charlotte's intentions aside—your mother was with me all night. When would I have been able to do all of this?"

"Your advances were when Mom went to the bathroom and the bar."

Carlisle sighs exaggeratedly. "This is a serious misunderstanding. I'd be glad to call Charlotte and clear this up."

I'm surprised by his suggestion to contact her. He could be bluffing, but I'm not about to find out because I don't want to put her through that. I told her I'd take care of it—the last thing I'll do is drag her back into this.

"Charlotte wouldn't lie about this shit," I insist. "She didn't even want to tell me, but—"

"Yet she did," he says, patronizing. "She got under your skin, and you let her. She probably wanted to get a reaction from you and turn your focus to her, not Bella."

It didn't feel like that at all. I didn't get the vibe Charlotte was trying to cause drama. Whenever Bella came up, she seemed genuinely happy for me.

Carlisle is playing it too cool for my liking, but other than the Charlotte issue, I don't have any concrete evidence that he's been inappropriate with other women before. While I don't want to give him the benefit of the doubt, I also need to be smart about this.

"I'm only going to say this once," I say, voice low and gaze hard. "If I hear anything like this again, I'm telling Mom. I won't give you the courtesy of coming to you first next time. If you even look at a woman the wrong way, it's done. So, I suggest you make sure there are no other serious misunderstandings like this in the future. Do you understand?"

He chortles, but his easy demeanor doesn't reach his eyes. "It's not necessary, but yes. I understand, and I appreciate you looking out for Esme. Are we done here?"

"I don't know, are we?" I toss back, still on edge.

His eyes narrow further. "You've made your point, Edward."

I stand so he has to look up at me and say, "Good."