Summary: While Rachel is away, Ragna visits Bang and Bullet for a wellness check. (Ragna x Bullet x Bang)

A/N: "Beast" is the 2200s equivalent of "Monster". Bullet has the future version of Pipeline Punch in her fridge :3

After getting too sick of being by himself, Ragna traveled to the Shishigami household while Rachel was at Kagura's to check on Bang. When he got there, he was greeted by Bullet who he talked to prior on the phone with.

"Hey..." Ragna keeps his eyes set on her face and not the too-loose tank top and too-small dolphin shorts she wears.

"Hey," She says hi, none the wiser. "Rachel not with you?"

"Nah, she had stuff to do with, uh...Kagura." The thought of Rachel involving herself with Kagura in any capacity still throws him off guard. "Bang up?"

"Yeah, he just woke up from, like his third nap," Bullet moves to the side to let him through. "He's a little groggy though, so talk slowly to him."

"Right," Ragna enters and then closes the door behind him. "Everything good though? BP not through the roof like last time?"

"His vitals have been normal, so I took him off oxygen this morning like the doc said." She leads him to the living room where he assumes where they've been sitting. "Thank God for her, huh? If she didn't set me up with all this stuff, Bang would've been a goner..."

"Yeah..." Ragna sighs, feeling guilty again . He can't help himself it seems, at least when it concerns Bang. He fucked his girl and he almost killed him with his; it's a miracle that the one sex club he decides to join also happens to have a doctor.

"Well I guess he'll let us know if he needs anything..." He tells her. "Sounds like you gotta handle on things though."

"Eh, kinda," Bullet waves his comment off as she skips into the living room. "Ragna's here."

"Is he?" Ragna hears Bang voice from within as he follows Bullet. "Oh joyous days, how I have longed to see my dearest companion!"

"Yeah, hi," Ragna looks over Bang who sits on a futon, fleece blanket draped over his legs. He's clad in a thin yukata while his hair, grey from stress, goes down his back. "You good, man?"

"Oh, so much better! Miss Litchi's kindness knows no bounds!" Bang exclaims, voice deep from sleep. "Though, I didn't expect, uh... Miss Rachel would be the one to leave me bedridden."

"Me either, but hey, she'd take the compliment," Ragna shrugs. "She wasn't no better though. Guess it goes to show you guys are more similar than you think."

"R-Really...?" Bang looks hopeful. "How so?"

"You're both hysterical drama queens."

"Honestly, yeah," Bullet nods as she sits down on the floor. "I was thinking the same."

"That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think? Can you truly blame Miss Rachel and I for being overcome with such passion? At least...I pray it felt passionate for her..."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it did." Ragna, not exactly in the mood to think about the absurdity of that morning, joins Bullet on the floor. "You got anything to eat around here? Forgot to pack a lunch."

"There are some cheezits and granola bars in the pantry, but that's all I really got." Bullet offers. "Stick around, I was gonna order take-out."

"May I request something other than pizza tonight, dearest?" Bang asks. "I don't think the meat lover's from yesterday agreed with me..."

"I can get some Indian? Oh wait, maybe not that..." She holds a finger to her lip. "Chinese? Thai?"

"Oh I can't decide, you can pick for me!"

"Isn't the nearest delivery spot like an hour from here?" Ragna asks.

"Yeah, but I can't cook, so we've just been eating out." She explains. "Bang is the one who does all the cooking, but, ya know... Look at him."

"Sweetheart, I already told you I'm well enough to make something quick at least..."

"Nuh-uh, no means no. Last time I let you do that, you were face down in the waffle iron!" Her voice is stern. "You ain't cooking anything till you're in tip-top shape!"

Ragna looks around the room then, notices pizza boxes and take-away bags piled in a neat stack near a garbage can. It doesn't seem like Bang or Bullet have had a homecooked meal in days which is probably not great for Bang's health. Feeling pity, Ragna gets off the floor and starts looking for the kitchen.

"Alright, where's your kitchen? If he's too out of it to cook, I can whip something up."

"Really? You'd do that?" Bullet bounces to her feet.

"What a kind friend...! You have my thanks, dear Ragna!" Bang holds a hand to his heart, about ready to cry. "I've always been quite fond of your cooking, so this is indeed a blessing for the Shishigami home!"

"...Don't mention it. Figured you'd want something more healthy than pizza and cheap take-away."

"You sure? We really don't got a lot to work with..." Bullet admits.

"You got any spices? Veggies? Some meat?" Ragna asks. "If you got that, then we're golden."

"In our garden out back. Nothin' for meat though." She pouts. "I tried making a pot roast out of some beef Bang got last week and I fucked it up pretty bad..."

"Figures... Whatever, I'll just use what I can get." Ragna slides a shoji door that leads to the backyard. "This take me out back?"

"Yeah, take whatever you need!" She tells him. "You can put shit on a plate and I'd still eat it!"

"Thanks," Ragna laughs a little at Bullet's bluntness. "I shouldn't be long. If ya could, go ahead and get a pot out for me, alright? A big one."

"Yessir!" Bullet scampers off to the kitchen which prompts Ragna to enter the backyard in search of ruffage.

"Pretty nice place they got," He walks around, trying to look for their garden. He likes the space and the foliage that comes with having a big backyard and starts feeling wistful. He always wanted a house like this out in the boonies whenever thoughts of actually settling down crosses his mind. Rachel probably wouldn't care for it and insist he stay with her, but it's nice to entertain the thought. Maybe one day he'll convince her to get a cabin in the woods somewhere.

"Not like it'll break her bank. I can be spoiled a little..." Ragna saunters over to a fenced in section of the backyard and walks. "Ah, this must be it."

He walks through a fairly sizable flat of moist dirt and growing ruffage, looking for whatever. Bang apparently grows a good variety of fruits and vegetables, so Ragna just grabs whatever catches his eye, mind set on a stew-maybe curry if he can find the spices for it.

"Ah shit, they don't got any meat though..." He sucks his teeth as he picks stuff from a garden box. "Guess I can just make it with carrots and potatoes, but...that's no fun." Grumbling a little, Ragna scans the garden again, acquiescing with a vegetarian curry (gross) for now, but a little rustle in the bushes catches his eye.

Out hopped a deer, a big and strong fucker with antlers to the skies and hooves as big as his hands. It walks outside the garden without a care in the world, grazing, ambivalent to Ragna's presence. The outlaw stares at it for a while, watching it, gears turning in his head when the deer trots closer to the garden to eat out of a cabbage patch.

"Ah fuck yeah, a deer!" He cheers to himself. "This'll save 'em a trip to the store!"

Ragna then clenches his fists and goes low.

After dispatching, gutting, and then deboning the stag, Ragna quartered it, stuffed extra meat in Bang and Bullet's freezer, and got to cooking. They had just enough ingredients for a proper curry and Ragna got to work while Bullet helped with making rice.

"Wow, that smells really good~" Bullet hovers over the pot of sizzling meat and veggies as she takes out a rice cooker. "You really went and took out that deer by yerself?"

"Yeah, it was pretty easy. Didn't really move when I came up to him which was a little weird, but hey, food's food." He pours bone broth into the pot. "Bang sleeping again?"

"Uh-huh, but he should be up soon. He takes a lot of power naps now when he gets too excited." She dumps rice and too much water into the cooker. "Going hunting with you sounds super fun though! You gotta take me with you so I can see you in action!"

"Sure, why not," Once he's done with what he's doing to the meat he approaches Bullet to fix her mistake. "And easy, you don't wanna overfill it." He comes behind her to help. "Water should just barely cover it."

"I knew that..."

"I'm sure you did. Here," He grabs the bowl and pours extra water into their sink. "See? Way too much."

She pouts. "Bang doesn't complain about my rice..."

"Yeah, I bet he doesn't, but you're doin' it wrong anyway." He looks down, notices the cleavage he's staring at, and quickly moves away from her, trying to go at least a week without temptation. "Just set it to fifteen minutes and it should be done."

"Fiiine," Bullet does what she's told. "How long will lunch take?"

"Usually I'd let it rock for about two hours, but I'm kinda hungry. One should be fine."

"Works for me!" Bullet bounds to the refridgerator for something to drink. "Hey, you want? I got some lemonade and Beast in here."

Ragna considers if he should ask for something more healthy before remembering that a liquid heart attack won't kill him.

"Fuck it, yeah, toss me a Beast ."

Bullet takes out two bright pink cans and hands one of them to Ragna who cracks it open as soon as he takes it. They eventually retire to the living room, just in time to see Bang stir from his upteenth nap for the day.

"Ugh..." He blinks slowly. "Did it happen again...?"

"Yup," Bullet crashes to the floor and turns on their TV. "An hour this time."

"Don't worry, guy, you'll get your strength up." Ragna joins her on the floor. "Food'll be done soon.

"Ah... So that's what that heavenly smell is..." Bang sits up and rubs his eyes. "Mmm, is that curry? What a sumptuous meal for the soul! Thank you, Ragna!"

"Settle down, don't need you passing out again." He takes a long drink from his can and watches Bullet surf through channels. "Whaddaya got on here?"

"Lemme show you the channel I saw those girls macking on," Bullet switches to a movie network, giggling like a teenage boy. "Crazy stuff, I've been watching it every night whenever Bang's knocked out."

"B-Bullet!" Bang pales at Bullet's word. "When did you start watching smut?"

"I get bored when you're asleep, what do you expect me to do? Ah, there!" Bullet's eyes light up, but then fall when she doesn't see any lesbian porn on the screen. "Damn, probably too early..."

"They're not showing any skin flicks till after midnight." Ragna watches the TV anyway. "This should be fine though. I like this movie."

"I wanted to watch girls though..." Bullet grumbles, disappointed, but accepts it. "Guess this is kinda fine..."

"Poor thing's rotting her brain out with softcore garbage..." Bang holds his head down. "I'm going to have to install a parental lock on that thing..."

The trio sit and chat as they watch their movie, killing time. Eventually, Bullet gets bored of it and starts rolling around on the floor with a magazine catalogue for food and restaurants in the area, humming to herself until she decides it necessary to voice her thoughts out loud.

"Man, I'm bored..." She looks up from her magazine to address Ragna and Bang. "Anyone wanna fuck?"

Ragna blinks once and doesn't open his eyes while Bang holds his head in his hands.

"Is it always gonna be like this with you?" Ragna asks her and then turns to look at Bang. "Like, seriously; how do you deal with this?"

"She is a free-spirited thing..." Bang replies. "But I'm afraid all of this wife-swapping has made her even more free-spirited than I would like."

"I mean, I don't get it, man! Like, we all agreed to this didn't we, or am I just crazy?" Bullet yells at them both. "What's the point of having a sex club if no one wants to have sex?"

"It's just...! It's not just that , sweetheart!" Bang gripes. "It's a lot to get used to! Up until about a week ago, all I knew was you and my hand! I've never entertained the thought of having so many women at one given time in my life! It's fantastical if anything that this is even happening!"

"Well this would be a good time to get used to things! Besides, you liked fucking Rachel and Dr. Litchi wants to fuck you-"

"Don't remind me...! Gosh, to think Miss Litchi of all people would want to...! Oh it's too much to bear!" Bang's cheeks flush bright red, hand clenching his heart. "Such an honorable woman desiring lowly scum like me is unheard of!"

"...Yeah, you gotta point..." Ragna ignores Bang's ramblings to address Bullet. "Guess I'm in the same boat as Bang. Rachel's been the only girl I've ever fucked and now all cuz of a dumb mistake on my part, I got all this pussy and clearly I dunno what to do with it. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it." He crosses his arms and sighs. "I gotta change my mindset about this. I mean, it's just sex, this shit's supposed to be fun, right? What kinda idiot bellyaches about good pussy anyway?"

"I assumed we were brothers in arms about this one, Ragna..."

"Yeah well, it'd probably do you some good if you just stopped caring, too." Ragna tells him. "Litchi's a fuckin' bombshell, man, you can't just sit there and let that get away if she wants it. And Rachel, she's a bitch, so she'd sooner die than tell you how she's feeling, but I know deep down she likes you... For your cock anyway."

Bang is quiet, contemplative as he stares at the patterns in his blanket.

"I suppose..." He says nothing else, thinking. Bullet takes this chance to speak her mind again.

"So... Do you wanna? Like, all three of us? I think it'd shake all the heebie jeebies out of you two if we just get back into it."

"You know what? Yeah, I'd like that. Yo, Bang," Going to town on Bullet however wouldn't feel right with Bang sitting here moping around, so Ragna gets him out of his self-induced funk by inviting him. "If you're well enough to make a racket, you're well enough to fuck your girl, don't you think?"

"A part of me wants to reject this arrangement and go back to the way things were, but then I'd be a hypocrite..." Bang looks up at them. "I loved Miss Rachel's sweet embrace despite its chill and lack of warmth and I would die a happy man if I were to indulge in Miss Litchi as well! In fact, I'm filled with a strange sense of pride knowing that my sweet Bullet drums up such intense, burning passion within you as well, my friend!" With (kind of) renewed strength and free from peer pressure, Bang accepts the swinger's group with open arms. "Yes, dear Ragna; it would be an honor to share Bullet with you!"

"Great, that settles it!" Bullet lifts up her shirt and tosses it aside. "Let's get it on!"

"Cuttin' to the chase, huh?" Ragna resists the urge to look away from Bullet's chest and checks her out, liking what he sees. He's grown an appreciation for big titties after having at her and Litchi in such a short amount of time and ogles her like he would Rachel. They're round and heavy like Litchi's but firm like his girlfriend's, a happy middle ground that he wastes no time indulging in again.

"Who am I to complain, shit," Ragna pulls her in, ducking his head to suck one into his mouth. "Your tits are gorgeous, babe."

"Thanks!" Bullet then invites Bang who looks lost in the weeds. "C'mon, Bang, you like my boobs, too! Get in here!"

"...I, uh... No! You're right!" Bang, careful of his fragile health, crawls over to Bullet and Ragna. "What kind of man would I be if I didn't satisfy my wife-to-be's wishes!?"

"There ya go!" Bullet lets Bang come to her left side, smile wide and brows knitting when she lets him suck on her breast, too. "Ooh, that's the stuff! Wow, I didn't know two guys were gonna be this-! Ah!"

Ragna bit down on her nipple, shutting her up, sweeping it lightly with his tongue. Bang is much gentler and nibbles softly, raking his teeth against her left teat as his tongue teases it. Bullet feels blood rush to her face and falls on her back, bringing Ragna and Bang with her.

"Little weak in the knees, huh?" Ragna chuckles, hand moving down her toned belly.

"Duh, cuz you're making me all fluttery..." She bucks her hips for emphasis. "Now are ya gonna talk shit, or you gonna do somethin' about it?"

"Tsk, this pussy's screaming for me, I can feel it." His hand stops at the crook of her shorts. "Doesn't take much to get you wet."

" Oof ..." Bang, who suckles on Bullet like a child, has to part from her when he feels too lightheaded. "It's been an awfully long time since I've had you, dear heart. I'm afraid it's setting the old ticker off a tad early..."

"Here, here, I got an idea! I saw this in a movie last night!" Bullet sits up on her butt. "This should take a load off Bang, too!"

Bullet quickly leads them all to Bang's futon and directs them accordingly. She makes Bang sit and take off his yukata and tells Ragna to work her from behind as she kneels on the bedding.

"Oh my, how lewd..." Bang's cock however stands at attention when Bullet takes it into her hand. "You want to use your mouth on me, do you?"

"Mhm, at least until he's done back there," Bullet strokes Bang a little before asking Ragna. "I kinda wanna try something..."

"What's that, babe?" Ragna is quick to pull her shorts down to her thighs, taking in a fat ass and a slick pussy. "Want me to eat you out? Cuz I can do that no problem."

"I wanted to have you both at the same time, so I was wondering..." She wiggles her hips as she finds the right words to say. "Can you do me up the butt while I ride Bang? Ya know, the way you fuck Rachel?"

"S-Shit, you sure? I can't just go in there and fuck you like her, I gotta prep you." Ragna nevertheless spreads her cheeks out a little with his hands. "Even then it's probably gonna hurt. You okay with that?"

"Uh-huh, just go slow. Would you like that Bang? He fucks my ass, you do my pussy?" She licks him around the tip. "I figured you wouldn't wanna squirrel around too much."

"N-No, I suppose not," Bang watches her lick him again, up his shaft, down his cockhead. "Do whatever you want, sweetheart..."

"Yay! I've been getting a lot of practice, so here goes!" Bullet parts her lips and takes him into her mouth, fisting what she doesn't swallow. Bang watches her, awestruck, letting her do her thing while Ragna takes a crack at her hole.

"Loosen you up as best as I can," He prods it with his thumb, pushing gently, liking how she flutters against his touch. "Wouldn't wanna ruin this cute little butt," Ragna stops teasing her to spread her open, winking hole tempting him more than he thought it would. "Jesus, Rachel's got me fucked up..."

"You're truly blessed to have a woman willing to take it in both holes. To think such a thing will be happening to my Bullet..." Bang weaves his fingers through Bullet's hair and sighs reverently. "I'm glad that our women are such good friends..."

"I don't mind fucking her ass with you if she takes to it well," He bends over to swipe her hole with his tongue. "I think that'd be pretty hot."

Bullet groans around Bang's cock, a noise that doesn't go unnoticed by Ragna. He smirks at that and licks her again, circling her ass, trying to get her used to the feeling. She tastes like Rachel, so Ragna indulges her the way he would his own girlfriend, but takes it slower than what he's used to. He spits on her hole as he sinks his finger into her, moving it in and out, trying to work her ass enough so that he can give her more. Bullet seems to react positively to that and pushes back against him, head bobbing with the stutters of Bang's hips.

"Goodness, Bullet, that practice is paying off..." Bang is careful as he humps into her face. "You're swallowing me whole, dear."

"Rachel let me suck on her toy, so I was able to learn a lot," Bullet removes herself from Bang to talk herself up. "Payin' off, huh?"

" Urk !" Bang fists the sheets, tensing up. Bullet holds his cock tight and doesn't do anything else to him.

"Uh, you good?" Ragna raises his head and then frowns. "Ugh, don't tell me you came already..."

"Such an enticing visual almost brought me over the edge... But I'm fine!" Bang perks back up and insists that Bullet continues. "Keep going, love, I shall last as long as you'll have me!"

"M'kay," Bullet goes back to blowing him, but takes it slow. "Am I good back there, or what?"

"Barely got a finger in you, relax. When'd you turn into such a butt slut, huh?"

"Am n-not..." Ragna's pumping finger is joined by a second one that he makes her take to the knuckle. "A-Ah, that feels..."

"Little more than I'll fuck your ass like you want," He's back to licking her again, fingers coming apart and scissoring her open. "Gettin' horny just thinking about it. Rachel's tight, but you're like a pill bottle, baby."

Bullet doesn't say anything, just focuses on Bang's cock as she lets Ragna eat her ass. While edging her fiance, Ragna is able to work her up to three fingers, then four, pumping wrist speeding up and making Bullet moan around Bang's prick. The shinobi above her takes deep gulps of air, face red and hair this way and that way as he tries staving off an orgasm, aroused at Bullet's sudden expertise at cock sucking and Ragna fucking her hole with his fingers. Ragna strokes his cock and lubes it up with sex jelly that Bullet made him grab from their bedroom and preps himself properly for the insane tightness that was going to engulf him.

"Fuck..." Ragna pulls his hand out of her and slaps her ass. "Get on top of him, baby, you're ready."

"T-Took long enough..." Bullet pops off of Bang's prick and climbs on him with wobbly legs. "You good to go?"

"Uh-huh..." Bang nods feverishly, hands quick to latch onto Bullet's thighs. "I'm all yours..."

Bullet knows how to ride thankfully and takes Bang's cock in her hands, keeping it steady so she can descend on Bang the way he likes. She slides down on a thick shaft that stretches her pussy out, keeping her full while Ragna approaches her ass, smacking her again as he brings his twitching prick to her hole.

"I'm about to fuck you, girl," He inches forwards, shudders at how tense she is. "Remember, you gotta relax for me, alright?"

"Just do it, I can take it," Bullet rocks down onto Bang, ready to fuck. "You worked me up enough, let's go already!"

"Fine, you want it to hurt?" He pushes in, glide of spit and lube keeping her slick. The rim of her hole gives into him easily, tip sinking in without much fuss, but he can hear Bullet grunt. It makes him feel cocky and he continues penetrating her, smug like a villain, "You want me to fuck it up?"

"I-I'm fine, I said I'm fine!" Bullet curls into Bang who has a vice grip on her ass cheeks. "If Rachel can do it, so can-! AH!"

Ragna sticks all of it in her in one quick thrust, bottoming out, making her gape. Just as he thought, she's tight and he has to put in some power in hips to move, but that's fine with him; unless she starts crying, he'll fuck her as rough as he wants.

"Fuck yeah, just like I thought..." Ragna bends himself over her back as he fucks her nice and slow. "So fucking tight and hot. No wonder Rachel likes to play with you back here."

The noises that leave Bullet are nothing but hoarse grunts and stuttered groans muffled by her burying her face into Bang's chest. Ragna isn't sure if it's pleasure or pain, but she isn't telling him to stop, so he keeps pace, fucking her as Bang rocks his cock into her.

"God, Bullet, you're squeezing me," Bang brushes hair from her eyes to look at her face. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Nah, she's fine," Ragna slaps his hands on her ass and keeps going. "You said you could handle it right? That you can take me no problem?" He hooks his thumb into her and goes faster. "C'mon then, bitch, lemme see you work this ass. Show me how much you want it."

" Ngh !" Bullet curls into Bang harder, nails digging into his shoulders, teeth gnawing her lip. At this point Ragna is too into reaming her to care too much about her wellbeing, but her squelching cunt and dimpling skin tells him all he needs to know. She likes it, and if she likes it, there's no reason why he shouldn't be treating her like Rachel.

So he pounds her rougher and harder, sits back up to watch his hips smack into the fat of her ass and his cock disappear in her hole. Bang follows suit and picks up speed, trying to match Ragna's.

"Oh God, anata , you're driving me crazy!" Bang cries out, clearly at his limit. "I'm sorry, love, but I don't think I can carry on like this for too long!"

"I-It's okay..." Bullet speaks, just as breathless as Bang. "I came like twice already..."

"H-Huh...?" Bang sounds flabbergasted. "Is that why you were so quiet?"

"I went quiet...? Oh wow, I didn't even notice, haha..."

"Damn, baby, didn't know you were a pain slut," Ragna laughs, keeping speed. "Lucky you, I'm almost there, too. Just keep this fat ass up for me and we'll be done soon, doll."

"Oh fuck, you better," Bullet moves with them now, too horny for her own good. "Man, I'm a genius! Two cocks are definitely better than one, holy shit!"

Bullet lets them finish, backing up as they pull out, desperate for cock. The sight of Bullet's greedy holes is enough to bring Ragna to where he wants to be and he comes at the same time as Bang who sputters beneath her like a busted engine. Ragna stays where he is, reveling in his orgasm, at the sight of his come spilling from her hole, before pulling out, satiated. He sits back on the floor and catches his breath while Bullet rolls off of Bang, exhausted like her intended.

"God, I feel like a stuffed bird..." Bullet settles on her stomach, too sore to put weight on her backside. "Gonna be a minute till I can sit right. Your dick is no joke, bud..."

"Told you it was gonna sting." Ragna leans back, feening for a smoke and a meal, but notices Bang laying motionless. "Hey, is he alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine..." Bang sits up, lurching forwards, hair whiter than it was before. "I was merely fending off another fainting spell..."

"Ah man, maybe it's high time we get some food in our bellies," Bullet suggests and then slaps his back playfully. "Good thing I rode ya, huh? You woulda been a goner otherwise!"

"You'll be such a wonderful wife, Bullet..." He smiles lovingly at her. It makes Ragna sick. "I would be lost without you."

"Think I'm gonna throw up..." The outlaw staggers to his feet as he grabs his shorts. "Lemme eat before I lose my appetite."

"Right behind you!" She stands up, stumbling, and pats Bang's head. "I'll go ahead and fix you a plate, m'kay?"

"Of course, love, take your time! Nothing beats a warm, hearty meal after passionate coitus!"

"God, both of you are just the worst, man." Ragna makes a gagging noise. "Match made in fuckin' heaven."

Ragna and Bullet saunter to the kitchen for food, grabbing more cans of Beast and an extra plate for Bang. Once they were back in the living room, Bullet laid on her stomach and ate on the floor while Ragna sat next to Bang.

"Hey, this is really, really good!" Bullet takes heaping spoonfuls and shoves them in her mouth. "Where'd you learn to cook like this, huh?"

"My master. We'd hunt, he'd show me how to prep the meat, and I kinda got a knack for it."

"You may have outdone yourself tonight, my friend! This curry is fantastic!" Bang shovels it in as well. "I've never had meat this tender before! Come to think of it, where did you even get meat? I thought we were fresh out after Bullet burnt whatever we had in the fridge..."

"I found this big ass deer just wandering around your garden, so I went ahead and got him." Ragna talks with half chewed venison and potatoes in his mouth. "He let me get really close, too. I was like a good couple inches away from him before I slugged him. Went down easy though, no pain. Poor thing didn't see it coming."

"Wait, you punched it? For real!?" Bullet kicks her feet happily. "That's awesome! How the hell'd you do that!?"

"Oh easy, I just-" Ragna stops talking when he notices Bang staring at him, wide-eyed, spoon clattering to his plate. "W-What's up with you...?"

"That deer..." He begins, voice trembling. "What did he look like...?"

"Uh, I dunno..." Ragna scratches his chin. "It was brown, kinda shaggy? It's antlers were huge and I think his fur was all braided up-"

" NOOOO !" Bang grips his plate and screams to the heavens. "TADAKATSU, WHY!?"

"What the-" Ragna stares at him, confused. "What's a Tadakatsu?"

"Oh that's the deer Bang's been feeding for the last year. Didn't know you went and killed him." Bang is too hysterical to respond, so Bullet answers for him. She doesn't look too beaten up about it like Bang though. "Probably why he didn't move. Lil' guy wanted some snacks!"

"HE TRUSTED YOU!"

"H-Hey, man, I'm sorry! I-I didn't know he was your...pet?"

"He was more than a pet...!" He sobs. "He was an animal companion who entrusted me with the wellbeing of his mates and children! And now...!" He sniffles loudly. "He's gooone!"

Well great, Ragna thinks bitterly too himself; just fuckin' great. He tries to do another nice thing for Bang and it blows up in his face like an anthrax bomb. Why does he even exist? Is his only purpose in life to be God's whipping boy or some shit?

Bullet seems unperturbed by Bang's tears and simply rubs him with the back of her foot, probably too used to his outbursts. Ragna meanwhile stews in his own self-hatred, trying to find the right words to say until Bang suddenly picks his spoon back up again.

Oh God, he doesn't wanna kill Bang if he's about to try something...

"No, no...! Tadakatsu's death will not be in vain!" The shinobi glares at his plate. "A noble steed of his might and stature would've relinquished his flesh to me if I were a starving man... And in my state, this withered and hollowed husk I currently embody, he would've selflessly offered himself to me on a silver platter!" With fire in his eyes, tears on his cheeks, Bang ravenously feasts on his meal. "Tadakatsu's spirit will live on through me! A promise I will make to a cherished friend!"

Ragna watches Bang eat for a little longer before scooting away. He's tired and the shock of cooking his favorite deer frazzles him enough to keep him quiet. If this is how Bang wants to cope with the departure of a beloved pet, then so be it; he can do whatever the hell he wants if it helps him feel better. Feeling guilty beyond words, Ragna's content with just sitting around watching TV with Bullet as she makes substanceless commentary.

Later that night, after everyone ate their fill and Ragna left for Castle Alucard, the color returned to Bang's hair and his vitality was restored tenfold, no thanks to the meal provided by the noble Tadakatsu and his indomitable spirit.