Author's Notes: And here we are three months later with an update! Seriously how does this keep happening. LOL Promise I will get better at this anyway I hope you all are having an amazing Holiday and ask that you please enjoy.
(Somewhere in the Void…)
To be reduced to this!
Hugo, the former headmaster of St. Hugo's Reform School for Wayward Youths did his best not to dwell on the past, but it was difficult. He had once been the most respected in the business. Parents across every known dimension trusted their children into his care.
Now thanks to some brat, from some dimension he couldn't even place let alone find! He had been exposed for what he really was, a thief! Once the children had enough partying they went back to their parents and told them everything. Which wouldn't have been too bad by itself. Teenager's lie all the time, he could have easily swept everything under the rug. Or that had been the hope until he found out that the Prince of the Nightmare Realm had been one of the miscreants that caused the uprising!
There was no way anyone would believe him over the future king of the most powerful Realm. Now he was on the run, hiding in some trash heap called the: Better Than Nothing an old run down apartment complex on the outskirts of the Void. He lost everything, his fortune, his school, his respect and notoriety, and it was all HIS fault!
Yes he knew who was to blame and he would find him! Which brought him to the present moment. Hugo couldn't help but feel giddy as his servant Gemini walked into the room. "Did you find it?" He asked.
"Took some time, Master." Gemini rasped, his hands were full with beakers and other strange items. "But I managed to acquire all that you need." He assures him as he sets up a beaker on a burner and begins to pour in several ingredients.
Hugo picks up a book that had been resting on the table beside his chair. The name "Black Metallurgy and Ores of the Multiverse" was written on the cover, and within its pages held the key to his success; and it all started with one small experiment. Said experiment was rather simple, instead of searching the countless realms across the multiverse for a single individual this method would show him exactly what Realm the boy resided from.
He pulls out a bobby pin, one he had discovered on the floor when the boy's friends helped him escape Hugo's machine. He drops it into the beaker and watches as the liquid inside reacts to its presence turning the water green! He opens the book to check the results:
Red
Origins: the great Andromeda Dimension
Blue
Origins: the Dowager Dimension
Orange
Origins: the Galafamor Dimension
Green
Origins: the Earth Dimension
"This is it!" Hugo exclaimed. "He is from Earth."
A knock can be heard at the door and Hugo looks to Gemini expectantly. "Did you manage to get the picture?"
"Took some digging through the surveillance." Gemini says looking nervous. "Wasn't able to snatch up a lot of the tapes in our flight.
"It doesn't have to be perfect, just as long as he is in it." Hugo snapped. "Now give it here and answer the door, we can not keep him waiting!"
Gemini hands over a picture before going to answer the door. As he does he can't help but gasp at the sight. "A Septarian!" He whimpered.
"Gemini this is Rasticore, He was once a powerful soldier of Seth's army." Hugo introduced their guest as the Septairian; Rasticore let himself in. "He is now an inter-dimensional bounty hunter for hire."
"Mr. Hugo." Rasticore dips his head respectfully as Gemini gets a hold of himself long enough to close the door and scurry back to his master's side. "I heard of your predicament."
"Who hasn't?" Hugo whines. "It's not even my fault, I age far faster than a normal being my age."
"Really?" Rasticore asked.
"Birth defect." Gemini whispered.
"Point is, without those kids' youth I would have withered and died ages ago." Hugo went on.
"Seriously?" Rasticore looks confused. "You don't look that old."
It was true, Hugo still retained what little youth he had stolen from the boy. Now he looks to be in his early twenties." "That's because of him, this boy." He places the picture down on a table for Rasticore to see. It shows a boy in a smart blue suit with his hair swept back addressing a crowd of teens, a teacup raised over his head. He's in midshout and appears to be about to fling the cup across the room. "This is your target." Hugo tells him. "You can kill whoever he is with, but this one you must bring to me alive. If just a small amount of him has me looking this good…Imagine all of him! I could be young forever!"
"Indeed, do you have a means of tracking the boy?" Rasticore asked.
Hugo fishes the bobby pin out of the beaker and throws it to Rasticore.
The Septarian catches it and puts it in front of the scanner on his hand held tracking device. It beeps several times before locking on a location. "Location acquired." Rasticore said; then attempted to start up a massive chainsaw. It takes several times for which Hugo and Gemini watch patiently. "Give me a break!" He hisses. "Stupid…thing."
"Do you need…" Hugo goes to get up.
The gesture surprises Gemini and he wonders how his master knows this beast.
"I'm working on it." Rasticore gives the cord one final yank.
The chainsaw finally starts, and Rasticore creates a portal by which he exits.
"Oh Master, I cannot wait to recapture the boy. Once you have eternal youth we can start anew perhaps a less shady venture that acquires us some food." Gemini exclaimed. "It has been a long time since I last ate." His stomach grumbles in response.
"Indeed." Hugo gets up and walks to the kitchen where he reaches into a jar and takes out a handful of cash. "Here. Take this. The last of our savings."
"Oh Master, thank you!" Gemini is genuinely surprised. "You're most generous, finally, some little food for my mouth."
"It's not for food you git." Hugo batted his hands away. "It's for my skin, I need my lotion, the one that makes my skin look like porcelain Clairol's number 112. And bring back a receipt!"
Gemini nods as he takes the cash and runs to fill the order.
(Back with Bill…)
Now that is blackmail material." Bill teased
The girls giggled as they searched through Dipper's wallet.
Janna who had swiped it in the first place had just pulled out a card for "Amie's Ballet Shoe Emporium. Our discounts are on point." "Why does he have this?"
"Oh he got me some for Christmas." Mabel said pointing to her feet which were in a pair of ballet shoes. "Honestly they are really comfortable to wear around the house." She admitted. "Hep Dip why do you still have this?"
Dipper walks into the tv room holding a plate of nachos. "Because discounts on new pairs." He said as if it was obvious. "That one won't last forever, besides what are you guys doing looking through my wallet anyway?"
"It was my idea." Bill said mischieviously.
"Seriously?" Dipper asked. "Can't a guy get any privacy?"
"Hey, what about this?" Janna asked, suddenly getting very serious. She holds up a weird looking card that's all shaky.
"Hey, that's A Quest Buy gift card." Bill says.
"I know!" Janna says. "I got it for Dipper for helping me with my science fair project last month!" She sounds hurt. "I can't believe you haven't used it yet. I got this to repay you for saving my grade and more importantly my skin because you know my parents would have killed me! If you don't use it, it'll expire."
"Look, Janna, it's not that I don't appreciate it, okay?" Dipper tries to reason with her. "It's just that the last time I went to Quest Buy, I almost got killed."
"Pine Tree! You can't just write off a store like Quest Buy because of one bad experience." Bill said.
"Yeah you can." Dipper says.
"I paid money for this Pines." Janna argued. "None refundable." She said pointing to the words on the card, "and, it expires tonight."
Dipper sighs. "Fine we get in and get out, Bill you coming?"
"Yeah sure-" He stops mid sentence as a book, more importantly his spell book floats down the stairs and zooms before him.
"Axolotl?" Bill looks troubled.
"Kid, we've got a problem." The guide said,
"Can it wait?" Bill asked. "I'm about to go to Quest Buy?"
"I'm afraid it is a matter of great importance!" Axolotl said.
"Then maybe we should all stay and-" Dipper began.
"Nope!" Janna grabs Dipper by the collar, pulls out some dimensional scissors (Hey, those were Bill's! How did she get those?) and cuts out a portal. "You coming Mabes?"
"Yeah, don't worry Bill, we'll get you something!" Mabel assures him before disappearing into the portal which closes behind him.
"Seriously?" Bill groaned. "What is so important that It can't wait."
"it's the spell book." Axolotl said gravely as he opened it.
"What about it?" Bill snapped.
"A page…is missing!" Axolotl exclaimed.
Bill's face grew white and for obvious reasons, this book wasn't just a spell book it was his family's history! A member of the royal family of every generation has been entrusted with its care. Each of them documenting their life and the new spells they had created, and someone has just ripped out a page! "How is this possible? How could someone rip out a page without you knowing?"
"I choose to sleep in the book." Axolotl reasons, "But it is not a part of me, we are two separate things, there are pages in here that not even I have read. And that is the problem, I have no idea what was here!" He points to the area of the book, where the tear is so perfect you can't even tell something is missing, except the pages are numbered on the bottom and page 2,584 is obviously missing!
"Father is going to kill me!" Bill exclaimed!
"Not if we find out what is missing and put it back." Axolotl insisted.
"You mean you don't want to tell him?" Bill asked.
"Are you mad?" Axolotl asked. "I have a reputation to uphold, this cann't get out, me the all knowing Axolotl sleeping on the job?"
"So you can make mistakes." Bill couldn't help but feel smug.
"Yes, yes, no one is perfect." Axolotl says. "Now help me fix it!"
"How?" Bill asked. "We don't know what is missing, or who took it!"
"The only way to find out is to go inside." Axolotl said.
"Say what now?" Bill asked.
"This is a magic spell book filled with memories of your lineage said memories come to life in these pages. Literally it's like stepping into a portal back in time."
"Oh so when you sleep in the book you're actually sleeping in a world that is made up of the past accounts of my family?" Bill asked.
"Precisely, and I need you to come in here and help me look." Axolotl explains.
"And if I don't?" Bill asked.
"Then I squeal and tell your father it was all your fault." Axolotl said completely deadpan.
"Wow Ax this is like a totally new side of you, I like him." Bill said with a smirk.
"Please don't give me one of your nicknames, it's Axolotl and in case you forgot we are on a time crunch, if the observer who is doing your evaluation finds out we lost a page of the spell book we are screwed."
"Fine, I the Future Chaos King of the Nightmare Realm do decree that you put me in my spell book so that we may-"
"Okay!"
Bill yelps as Axolotl shrinks him down to the size of a pea. "Hey warn a guy will you?"
"Look Bill you need to listen, like really listen." Axolotl exclaims. "This is an extension of your family's memories, as well as your own."
"Okay." Bill said.
"We must find the one thing that is missing!" Axolotl explains.
"How can we find it if it is missing?" Bill asked.
"Because it will be missing from your family history." Axolotl decreed. "You did pay attention to your father's past lessons….right?"
"Uhhhhh…." Bill smiles uncertainly.
"Right!" Axolotl exclaimed.
"Yeah not gonna lie, we're screwed." Bill said.
"Let's just get this over with, just remember it's important that you pay attention to only me." Axolotl explained.
"Got it once we're in the book, pay attention to only you."
"No Bill, we are already inside." Axolotl argued.
But we're still in my room." Bill said.
"No, we're in the memory of your room, inside the book." Axolotl said.
"But I didn't write about this moment."
"It's a magic book kid, It writes itself. How else do you think your spells get in here?" axolotl explains.
"Wait, my spells are in here?" Bill asked.
"William Cipher focus!" Axolotl said.
"Right focus." Bill said.
"Bill, Kids!" Fords shouts as he steps into the living room. He freezes looking around. "Bill?"
"Uh... I'm kind of in the middle of something with Axle" Bill says, trying out a new nickname.
"No! No, Bill, that is not Ford, that is the book writing what is happening around us. Only listen to the sound of my voice. Otherwise, we will be separated."
Bill watches as Stan enters the TV room.
"Any sign of them?" He asked.
"No, I can't believe they ran off again, this is getting out of control Stanley." Ford snapped.
"Hey I'm right here!" Bill yelled. "Only Pine Tree and Shooting Star left."
"Doesn't Bill understand how much danger he's in?" Ford asked.
"I'm not in danger, I am right here with-" He turns to see Axolotl is gone!
He runs forward trying to find him when suddenly he's at Gravity Falls High.
"What? School?" He groans and starts walking away from school. "No, I need to find Axolotl Okay, I'm not going to school... in my memory…" He yelped as he somehow bumps into the school doors "Oof! What?"
Bill looks behind him and sees a reflection of himself standing in front of the school" He sighs. "Right, right, right, right. This is one of those mind things. Wherever you go, there's school. School. School. School. School. School. School." He turns over and over again as he speaks, seeing the School's front entrance in front of him every time.
Finally he realizes what's going on; the book's magic must have a mind of its own, one that was unpredictable to someone who had never roamed its pages. Which was probably why Axolotl wanted them to stay together.
The school doors open by themselves and he shrugs. "Fine, I guess I'm going to school." He says, deciding to own his fate; unaware of the chaos that was about to ensue.
(Back with Dipper)
He couldn't believe he was back in this place.
"You know this store is why I have grown to hate shopping." Dipper admitted.
"Dip you've always hated shopping." Mable reminds him.
"Well thanks to this place I know loathe it. You hear that Janna I loathe it, with a passion."
"I know." Janna said with her usual creepy smile. "That is why I picked it."
"No you picked it because it's your favorite store in the Multiverse!" Dipper argued.
"Tomayto, tomahto" Janna shrugged.
"Guys, let's just get the perfect gift and be done with it." Mabel said. "You know before the grunkles notice we are missing."
"Maybe if they'd stop keeping secrets we wouldn't be missing." Dipper grumbled.
"Dip!" Mabel said.
"No Mabel, just no! Some crazy psycho is out there-still! Worse he wants to use me to bring back Seth, the most powerful demon the Multiverse has ever seen and Grunkle Ford didn't even look surprised. Not to mention that he failed to mention that Seth was Septairian, a creature that can not die. I'm sorry Mabel, but Ford has lost my blind trust." Dipper snapped.
"Whoa." Janna said. "You're really upset about this."
"Of course I am, He's keeping me in the dark, and worse it could happen again, and I don't even know why it is happening!"
"Sorry, it's just you're always so calm about it." Janna said. "So, put together."
"I have to be." Dipper whispered. "You know how Bill gets; he keeps thinking this is all his fault, That he brought this on our family."
"You don't think so?" Mabel asked.
"Mabes that Toffee guy has never once paid Bill any mind. He had his cane, his power in arms reach and all he did was-"
Focus on you…" Mabel finished. "Yeah that felt weird to me too."
"It's not just that, he said something at the castle." Dipper admitted.
"What?" Janna asked.
"He called Bill an Impostor. He said he could show me what I was really capable of…then he called me a disappointment." Dipper revealed.
"Dipper you sound like you actually believe him." Mabel said. "Like you've been considering his words."
"Maybe I have," Dipper admitted. "At least he seems to be willing to share."
"Yeah, but at what price?" Mabel yelled. "Look I know it sucks; but they're keeping secrets from all of us, not just you Dip. And secrets or not; they're still family and you never choose a stranger over family."
"I never said I would." Dipper said. "I was just being honest, I've been thinking a lot about it."
Mabel takes a deep breath and nods. "Okay, that's fair, I guess I would obsess over it too, I'm sorry Dip."
"No, it's fine I should have been open from the beginning, maybe if I was honest I wouldn't be obsessing over it now." Dipper admitted.
"Then maybe you should tell Bill." Janna says. "If anyone knows what this Toffee guy meant it has to be him or at least someone in his family."
Dipper looks unsure. "I don't want to make him feel worse."
"But by keeping him in the dark, you're doing the say thing Ford is doing to you. The thing that you hate." Janna reasoned.
Dipper sighed. "I hate it when you're right."
"I know, Now pick a gift already." Janna says. "I want to go look in the Murder section!"
Dipper can't help but laugh as they start looking through the shelves.
"Look. There's a Skullaroid camera." Janna held up a camera. "Says it can take pictures specifically of ghosts!"
" Uh, I don't think so." Dipper said. "I've officially gotten over my obsession with ghost thanks to the whole Northwest Incident a few years ago."
"Wait what happened?" Janna asked.
"It was before you moved here." Mabel explained. "Some ghost was haunting the Northwest Manor and Pacifica's parents paid Dipper and Ford a lot of money to get rid of it."
"And?" Janna looks to Dipper for more clarification.
"It was a vengeful ghost who turned us all to wood all because the Northwest were jerks who wouldn't share their spoils with riff-raff." Dipper explained.
"Ghost are jerks, got it." Janna said. "Ooh, how about some spooky haunted garden gnomes?" She holds one up for them to see.
"NO! Anything but that!" Mable said, shaking.
"Right kidnapped by gnomes." Janna tossed the gnome back on the shelf.
"Ugh, look at all this stuff. This is exactly why I do not like shopping. I can never make up my mind." Dipper exclaimed.
"Whoa. Easy there, Mr. Picky Pants. Luckily, we got until midnight." Mabel assures him. only to jump as her cat watche meows. "Ooh, that's getting a little too close for comfort."
"We need to hurry." Janna urged "If you don't find something soon, the card will expire and go to waste. You know how I feel about waste Dipper."
"And you know it's hard for me to shop. Plus, I'm just not that into Quest Buy gear." Dipper yelled.
"They literally have everything in the universe here. There has to be something you want."
"Fine since you are going to rush me, I'll just buy something random now and exchange it later." Dipper says.
"Okay that should work." Janna shrugged.
Dipper pics up the Ghost camera and gasps as the gift card comes flying out of his pocket.
"What the hu?"
The card fires a laser at Dipper's hand, and he yelps as he drops the camera. "What the heck⁈
The Card begins to fall to the ground, but Mabel catches it, and reads the back. "Uh Dip we may have a problem."
"You don't say?" Dipper asked.
"Yeah says it's a a "friends to the end" gift card." Mabel reads the words out loud. "You have to truly, deeply want the item you spend it on, or else it won't work."
"Janna, why would you want to get me something like this?" Dipper asked.
"Because I wanted a reason to come back and the gift Cards were like right there so I grabbed one, and I gave it to you because I know your heart bleeds easily." Janna said deadpan.
"Remind me why we are friends again?" Dipper asked.
"Because I'm Wendy's BFF, and if you want a shot with her you need to impress me." Janna reminded him.
"Fair enough, look I can't decide under this pressure." Dipper admitted. "Maybe we can get an extension on the card."
"Worth a try." Janna said with a shrug.
"Works for me." Mabel agreed.
Which led the group to the customer Service area moments later Where several sloths were lounging around.
"Man, I forgot about these guys." Dipper sighed. " Excuse me, I have a question." He declared.
"Not my department." One sloth says.
"But your customer service." Mabel points up at the sign.
"Oh, yeah. We really need to ditch that sign." The sloth says as the friends give him a look. "Fine. How can I help you?"
"Is there any way we can extend the expiration date on this card?" Dipper asked as he gave him the gift card.
The sloth nods and scans it. "Shouldn't be a problem- wait, no- This is a "friends to the end" gift card. It's not only impervious to change, but when it expires, so do you." The guy said as he shoved it back into Dipper's hand as if it was some kind of ticking bomb.
"What?!" Dipper exclaimed.
"You mean like we die?" Mabel asked.
" Well, Everyone's gotta die some time." The sloth said as if this is no big deal. "This just guarantees that you'll die sooner. It's all here in the contract your friend signed. If you don't use it by midnight, zap, ha ha. Both of you get blasted into oblivion."
"You signed a contract!?" Dipper shouted at Janna.
"I didn't know it was a death warrant." Janna said. "Cut me some slack, besides we were in a hurry so I didn't have time to read the fine print.
"You should always read the fine print! Even Mabel knows that!" Dipper froze. "No offense Mabes."
"Oh no I'm with you on this one! Janna look at this contract!" She points to the contract which is floating in the air beside them. It is dark purple with bat-like wings and a single red eye. "That just screams; bad idea!"
"Really?" Janna asked. "I thought it looked pretty cool."
"Please!" Dipper grabs the sloth by the collar. "There's gotta be something we can do."
"Nope. Sorry, dude. Um, dudes." The sloth shrugs. "But don't worry you still got a while…"
He's interrupted mid-sentence as the gift card floats up once more before loudly charging up with electricity, turning into a large humanoid figure."Activating expiration mode." The Card said. "Commencing countdown to your expiration date. You have ten minutes."
"Never mind, you're screwed." The sloth said.
"Choose your gift." The card demanded "Your life depends on it."
Dipper gulped, they were more than screwed; in less than ten minutes they would be dead!
(Back with Bill)
Everything was fine…for about five seconds and then Bill sees another version of himself as he races through the hallway on top of his father's throne while wearing one of Mable's sweaters and Pine Tree's hat! The chair itself is being pulled like a sled on the back of a cute little goat.
Wait, that was his mother's goat, Lil Chauncey, he was a childhood pet, what was it doing in his school, and what was with the second him? Before he can ask they are both zooming out of sight. Bill tries to follow only to get distracted as a locker opens to his left, it's Shooting Star's locker and inside of it hangs the sweater he just saw his doppelganger wearing.
"Okay, now even I think this is weird." Bill said as he pulled out the sweater and puts it on. "And I don't mean the good kind."
He looks at Dipper's locker and shrugs. "Might as well go with it." He opens it too and isn't surprised to see the small hat with a pine tree. "Yeah, this isn't creepy at all." He says putting the hat on. He wants to leave it, the hat and the sweater, but they make him safe. It was silly he knows it, but for some reason roaming the pages of his family history made him feel vulnerable. He wished his friends wear here, they always made him feel brave; so sure of himself.
"Axle?" Bill called as he entered the cafeteria. "Ax?" He makes his way to the back kitchen where he sees hamburgers on a conveyor belt. "Oh, burger time." He runs up and picks up a hamburger. "Don't mind if I do." He bites into the burger, surprised he can actually taste it. "Mmm. Memory burger." He stops as he hears a bleating sound."Lil Chauncey?"
The goat in question appears running on the conveyor belt which has carried him from the kitchen and towards the open oven.
"Oh NO!" Bill runs after his mother's best friend and manages to save him just in time, picking him up off the conveyor belt and back on the ground safely. "You for a goat, you are not that heavy." He says. He takes a look at the animal more closely. "I'm pretty sure you died on the battlefield, mister!"
Lil Chauncey bleets in response as if that is a good enough answer. Oh yeah totally logical!
Bill starts to get a sickening feeling in his gut as they leave the cafeteria together. He had the Sweater, the hat and now the goat. Was he becoming that other Bill he saw earlier, and if so; What did it all mean?
Suddenly Lil Chauncey bites the hill of Bill's shoe and since the prince was walking the act causes him to face plant into the floor. "Lil Chauncey!"
The little pig goat pulls off the dress shoe and skips away happily.
"Hey that's MINE!" Bill gets up and races after him. "Hey! Lil Chauncey." He chases the goat into Principal Wong's office. He finds the goat in an instant sitting at the desk. "YOU!Gimme back my shoe!" he grabs it "And get down! Sitting like a person. My father would be furious if he caught you sitting in his ch—" He gasped. He now had the sweater, the hat, the goat and now the chair. "Great, this is just great, everything's coming together." He muttered to the goat.
He pressed the loudspeaker button on the Desk "Axolotl, I could definitely use your help. I can't even find my family history because I'm stuck in the School!" The words school echos around the halls and he sighs. "Any ideas?" Bill asked the goat.
Lil Chauncey jumps out of the throne and goes over to the office window. Bill follows and sees Cipher Castle on the school football field. "Well that doesn't belong there." He says to Lil Chauncey. "I thought memories would stay in the pages they belong, but this is a jumbled mess. No wonder he wanted us to stay together." He picks up a fishing-pole and puts a half eaten burger on the lurer before setting up reins up to Lil Chauncey and King Cipher's chair. Using the burger, Bill sways Chauncey to pull him forward. "Move out, Lil Chauncey! Hyaaah!" He declares, just knowing Axolotl must be at the castle. They race through the hallway, past the corridor from before and…."Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!"
The two halt and back up to see another version of himself as he enters the school. "Okay this is trippy." Bill says. "Who are you?" He asked the other him.
"Bill Cipher" The past Bill says.
"Nuh-uh, you're not." Bill argues. "I'm Bill Cipher!"
"Hey did you find the thing that was missing?" Past Bill asked.
"Not exactly…" Bill answered deciding this version of him was just the book recording the events of his life…which were currently happening within the book? Man this thing was weird. "I found Shooting Star's sweater, Pine Tree's hat, and then dad's chair, and…" He lifts up Lil Chauncey, gruntin "...Lil Chauncey here, but these things belong in the book they're not missing. Albeit they seem to be jumbled up, but still…Say I kind of already get it, but just to be sure I got to ask. Why are there two of us here?"
"Didn't Axle tell you?" Past Bill asked. "If you're inside too long, all your new memories become your old memories until eventually your current timeline is overwritten by the future versions of yourself, like me!"
"Wait... so, you're gonna replace me?" Bill stammered.
Past Bill laughs "Yeah! But don't worry. You'll never know the difference. And neither will anyone else!"
"I gotta go!" Bill flicks the reins and Lil Chauncey takes off again down the hall bringing Bill and the chair along for the ride. "Stay out of my timeline." He yells back at his past self. "please?"
"Okay!" Past Bill says before running into the other, other Bill.
Bill watches both of them. "So now they are both Past me, but before the first one was Future me…." He shakes his head. "Now I know why father says never to time travel, this is a headache." Finally they burst outside and onto the football field where they waste no time reaching the castle.
Suddenly more past Bills come bursting on the scene trying to catch up. Just knowing it would all be over if he allowed them to catch up. Bill urges Lil Chauncey into the castle as the gates open. Once inside he locks the gate close just seconds before the horde of Bills overrun him.
"Got to find Axle." Bill says as they run through the halls a door opens and he enters. " This is the Grandma Room. Oh, I haven't been in here since I was a little baby." He sighs fondly.
Lil Chauncey eats the burger on the end of the fishing pole, and Bill falls over. "Are you nuts?!" He pulls the hamburger out of Chauncey's mouth and tosses it away "There's no eating in the Grandma Room! You'll get crumbs everywhere!"
There's a loud thud and clanking, and the ceiling skylight opens. Bill walks up to the wall to see…"Oh, no-no-no. We got burger juice on the wall rug, Chauncey." When he removes the burger a gust of wind blows up from under him as pedestals rise up out of the floor, including one under his feet. He jumps off the pedestal, and it lights up. Bill walks over to it and sees there's writing. " Kai, Storm King of Illusions…wait Great Great Great Grandfather?" He looks up at the curtain which he realizes now is actually a tapestry and sees the demon in question. Looking more Septarian than humanoid, the lizard-like creature towers over him. Bill squints back down at the pedestal and reads "Trickster of darkness who clouds our judgment, usher in an era of slavery and enlightenment."
Bill looks down the row of pedestals beside him and blinks. "Chauncey I think this is it! I think we found my family history!"
(Back with Dipper)
He never thought shopping could be this traumatizing. "Remember how I said I loath shopping" He asked the girls as they ran through the store looking for a gift. "Well now thanks to this i'm going to need therapy!"
"See something you like, Dipper?" Janna asked.
"Please say yes!" Mabel cried.
"NO!" Dipper echoed her cries with one of his own.
The cursed gift card in question zooms after them, continuing its count down."Nine minutes until expiration."
"What about gourmet hair gel?" Mabel throws the bottle at Dipper.
"Nope!" Dipper catches it and throws it at the card.
"8.5 minutes until expiration." It chimed dodging.
"Who designed this card⁈" He cried as it starts shooting lasers at them. The group runs faster, even though the shots don't come close to hitting them.
"Why do you have to be so picky?" Janna yelled
"I'm not picky. I'm just... highly selective." He screeches to a halt as he sees it! A large sign that says "Your Secrets are Safe with Me." There before him is a wallet on display "The ultimate in privacy. It's even my favorite color. And a thumbprint privacy setting" He laughs maniacally "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." He opens the case.
"It's yours!" Mabel jumps for glee.
"Get it Dip get it!" Janna shouts
Dipper strains to pull the wallet out "It's stuck."
"Sorry sir. That's a display model." The card appears beside him, making him jump. "Five minutes until expiration."
The three teens take off screaming again.
"We gotta get the Quest Buy sloth employee to help us." Mabel screams.
"Fat chance." Janna retorts but they make their way to the worker's lounge were two sloths are enjoying what appears to be break time. they pound on the window outside, but the door wont budge.
"Stand back." Dipper warns. The girls obey and with a wordless spell the door flies off it's hinges and bangs into the far wall. "I need One of your privacy wallets!" He says grabbing a sloth by the collar.
"Wow, Dipper's kind of hot when he's about to die." Janna realizes.
"Janna focus." Mabel reasoned.
"Uh, well, I am on my break." The sloth began but stopped as Dipper gives an almost animal like growl. "But, sure, let me check." Dipper drops him and the sloth begins his search.
"Can you see if there is one in plum?" Mabel says as Dipper tries to get a hold of himself. "He likes Plum."
"Sorry, looks like we're out of stock." The sloth says as he finishes his search.
Dipper gulps. "No…"
The card appears. "One minute to expiration"
"This is all my fault." Janna cries, surprising them by embracing Dipper. "I shouldn't have used you as an excuse to come back!"
"30 Seconds to expiration…"
Dipper hugs her back. "No I know a lot of this wouldn't have happened if I was easier to shop for."
"15 Seconds to expiration…"
"Oh no you don't!" Mabel stands between the card and her brother. She would protect him and Janna.
"10 Seconds to expiration…9…8" The card sparks electricity as it turns into a energy based phantom. "Preparing to honor expiration."
Mabel braces herself to strike just as a portal appears out of nowhere, the teen lookup, expecting Bill ony to see….
"Not another one." Dipper groaned as a Septarian in a purple cape approaches him.
the Septarian tackles the card figure and throws it aside before advancing on the teens.
Human of Earth, my name is Rasticore Chaosus Disastervaine." Rasticore introduces himself to his prey. "Mr. Hugo sent me…"
"Seriously?" Dipper snaps standing up. "In case you haven't noticed we're about to die!"
"What are you anyway?" Janna asked.
"I am the Muliverse's most feared Bounty hunter." Rasticore answers, lifting his chain saw.
"Of course you are." Dipper moaned.
Rasticore moves into claim his prize "Prepare to …" He screeches as he is electrocuted by the gift card before incinerating to dust.
"Invalid entry. Expiration imminent." The card says as it approaches once more.
"Hold it. We do have one more privacy wallet in stock." The worker holds up the box.
Everyone froze and look at him.
"Only, sorry. We don't have it in plum. Just, we have it in, um, Prussian blue."
Dipper runs over and snatches it up so fast he's like a blur. "Oh, it's perfect. Prussian blue is my favorite color. Even more than plum."
"Sheesh." The worker pouts "So dramatic."
The card turns back to normal, somewhat satisfied. "Good doing business with you sir. Contract obligation fulfilled." It turns back to normal and falls to the ground.
"It's not coming back…right?" Mabel asked the worker hopefully.
The sloth shrugs.
"Burn it in fire!" The Three shout as they move into make sure the job is truly finished.
(Back with Bill)
He looked at the room in wonder, there were so many and how would he know if something was missing? He guessed he'd just have to go down the line And hope for the best. With that thought in mind he moved over to the next one.
" Ivy the Girl King- "Weak magic haunts the King of constant Lust- And we're moving right along!" Bill skips right over his Great Great grandmother and continues. "Hades the Territory striker- Genocides and Anger that knew no bounds Mutiny and Death was all he found." Bill looked up at the tapestry. "Serves you right." He said before moving on to the next.
"Seth Destroyer of Worlds- Known as the 'One Who Could Not Be Broken', met his destruction with words unspoken…See even this stupid thing says he was destroyed!" Bill kicked the pedestal and yelped, before looking up at his grandfather. "What secrets are you hiding!?" He whispered.
Chauncey bleats and Bill reluctantly moves on over to the next. This one is different from the ones before it. Mostly because the Tapestry shows no demon, but a Maiden with long brown hair and big matching doe brown eyes. She's wearing a long flowing black dress and Bill recognizes her in an instant. "Hey she's in the picture on my wall!" He looks over at Chauncey. "I didn't know she was family, I thought she was some random painting. He looks at Seth and then back at her. "Well I guess we know why we look more human now." He added before reading her pedestal. "Alana Maiden of Darkness- Though beautiful she is far from fair, Oh so cunning, sweet as honey, good doers beware!" Bill looked back up at her with a look of utter astonishment. "And I have had you on my wall for ten years!" Seriously? "Well no wonder you ended up with Seth." Still as interesting as it was to finally have an answer regarding the picture and the woman in it. It was surprising that she was on a pedestal at all, unless…she had a chapter in the book!
It wasn't unheard of for Queens to have a chapter in the book. After all Ivy was a woman, but being born in a time where Queens didn't rule alone the royal family decided to pretend she was a boy for many decades. This however was different, Alana was not born into the family, but married into it. Bill wasn't aware that none-royals of his family had chapters. Was this already a loss cause? The partners of his other past relatives were not here! Were they supposed to be? How would he tell?
Deciding there was only one thing left to do he moved onto the next pedestal. He instantly recognizes that it's his father's "Hannibal the Classy- With the class of a gentleman and new allies, peace was sought. Rebellion and mutiny, your kingdom was bought." Bill flinched. "Ouch." He looks back at Seth. "Look I know he betrayed you but seriously, harsh!"
He moves to the last pedestal only to see that it's chipped, and broken in some areas with only a few words that can be made out. He looks up at the tapestry in hopes for an answer but it's ripped! "This is it!This must represent the page that is missing!" He looks back at his father. No this can't be right, he comes after his father, but the missing page wasn't in his chapter!
Was it Tad? No, that didn't make sense. Tad never owned the spell book or had any magic to contribute to it's pages. Who else could it be? He looks back and Alana 's pedestal catches his eye. Of course! Why didn't he think of it before? He and his father were not the only ones in their household who knew magic.
"Mother?" Bill looks up at the tapestry. "What do I do?" He asked. "How do I fix this? Think…Bill…think." If his mother had a pedestal then that meant she had a chapter, which meant she had to make at least one spell. "Think…Bill…think…What spells did your mother make…think!" The answer comes to him in an instant. There is only one time in history he remembered his mother making a spell…
The Great Demon War!
He knows what's taken, and he knows how to fix it. He places his hands on the pedestal and wills his magic into it. He was a dream demon, he made the imagination a reality, nothing was impossible for him. He willed the pedestal to mend, and watched the wall as the tapestry glowed as golden threads weaved it back together.
It's his mother in Arctic Maiden battle armor, her blue sword stabbed in the ground at her feet as she kneeled on her knees before her fallen army.
Tears clouded his eyes as he looked down and tried to read the mended pedestal before him. "Luisa the Undaunted- The Queen of Ice will long be haunted by her former self Luisa the Undaunted."
His mother's spell was taken, the spell that created her Arctic Maiden, and somehow Bill just knew who was responsible. "Mina!" He growled as a spinning wheel to his right begins to spin.
He turns his eyes, black as midnight at a sound, only to see Axolotl. The spinning Wheel is spinning thread by itself and sews Axolotl and Bill into an incomplete tapestry. Bill's Tapestry! Suddenly the Axolotl moves, peeling himself away from the Tapestry "Do you have any idea how difficult that was?"
"YOU!" Bill hissed as he swats at the deceiving lizard.
"Okay Sorry. Moody." the magical guide huffs.
"Don't you dare turn this on me!" Bill hissed. "YOu lied, How could you possibly not know!" He pointed at his mother's place in the lineup.
Axolotl sighs. "You're right, I knew."
"Then why send me on a wild goose chase!" Bill screamed.
"Now hear me out." Axolotl reasoned. "You never bother learning from me which is fine…"
"I swear if you did all this just to teach me a lesson." Bill advances, ready to strike.
"Like it or not I am your guide." Axolotl says. "I am supposed to guide you to the truth, even truths that certain powerful figures may want to keep secret."
Bill stops…looking back at Seth's tapestry. "This is about Toffee and why he wants Dipper! You know!" He points an accusing finger at the salamander. "You've known all along. Tell me now!"
"I'm afraid I can not, I took an oath of silence, we all did, It is unbreakable. I can not utter a word. But the answer is here." He assures him. "You just have to look hard enough."
"And what about Mina?" Bill asked. "I mean I fixed the book, but she still has the original page."
"We must find her and destroy it before it is used. That spell is one of the most powerful in the book. In the wrong hands it could cause devastation far worse than Seth ever did." Axolotl answered.
"Okay." Bill nods "I get why you had to do it this way even if I don't completely understand."
"You will." Axolotl assured him. "Now we need to get out of here before…"
"Before the other mes find away in?" Bill asked.
"You…saw yourself…." Axolotl asked shakenly.
"Uh-huh…" Bill confirmed.
"All right. That's not good. We gotta get out of here. Step into my eyeball. I…" Bill gives him a look. "Y-Yes, that's what I said. Come on. Hop in."
Bill runs to Axolotl just as twelve other Bills come storming in the room. They run after him, like a wave slowly over taking him. He's not going to make it! He jumps towards Axolotl who has grown in size. He grabs Bill and jams him into his eyeball!
Moments later he pops out of the Axolotl's eye.
"Eww, pupil juice." Bill moans.
A portal appears beside him and Dipper appears with Janna and Mabel in tow. "How'd it go?"
Bill looks up at him. "We've got a lot to talk about." He revealed sitting up.
"Yes we do." Dipper agreed. "Want to take a shower first?" He asked, gesturing to the eye goo that's dripping from all over his body.
"No, this can't wait." Bill says, looking around as the others sit down with him. Axolotl is gone, no surprise there if he was sworn to secrecy he wouldn't want to be here now when they're trying to figure things out.
"Shoot." Dipper said.
And with the go ahead Bill began to share his story.