Warning: angst

Still no on the owning

Maxoline: And the Close Call

"Max," I say softly as I trace gentle circles on her hand with my thumb. My eyes linger on her face, all static and peaceful. Its been like that for two weeks.

I try to fight the tears, but they wouldn't stop. Even though I knew she was a bad ass and could pull through anything, that didn't stop the worry. The doctor said she had a slim chance at recovery and a five percent chance of waking up. If that fact wasn't bad enough try adding the stomach wrenching guilt of this being all your fault.

Dr. Mason peeks his head out from a small opening in the door. "Visiting hours are over."

"There is no way I'm leaving her side," I snap. "You'll have to pull her from my…"

I stop still. I know saying "cold, dead hands" wasn't appropriate, still I thought I felt Max move.

"Caroline, I know this is hard for you to accept, but Max won't be able to come out of this."

"Don't you dare say that!" I scream. "What kind of doctor are you?"

"Don't take this personally. I've had a lot of experience with people in high intensity comas. I just want to bring you to a sense of reality."

"With all due respect Dr. Mason, I don't give a fuck what you say," my eyes trail back to her. "She is the strongest person I know."

"I'm sorry."

"Do you think she can hear me?"

"She might. The overall hearing aspect is different for everyone."

I look back at him. "I surely hope you're not the one who does medical procedures on her."

"Harsh, but not to worry," he says pulling a stool over and resting on it. "Dr. Fiona Smith leads medical procedures."

"Thank god," I wipe a few strands of hair from Max's face. Trying not to cry, again, my hand trails down and stops at her cheek. I rub it lightly. Her skin feels soft and dewy. Definitely some life still left.

He nods. "You two best friends?"

Best friends? We were more like sisters at this point, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something for her. Ever since that day I applied at the diner.

I bit my tongue. "Something like that," I brush my hair to the side. I remember Max saying it looked better parted. Even when we had to cut it and it was short, she loved playing with my hair. I know I said I couldn't live without it. The truth of the matter is I couldn't live without Max more. I would chop off all of it if that meant she would wake up.

"Don't you have a job to be doing?"

"Ok, hint heard loud and clear," he backs up off the stool and walks to the door. "I'll pick us up some food." I nod. He leaves.

I feel like he's used to disgruntled friends and family being a doctor and all. Even so I guess I could still try being a little nicer to him. After all he was the only one I had to talk to in here. Well, the only one that could talk back, at least.

I take back Max's hand and start tracing circles again. Her skin has always been pale just not this pale. I never doubted her ability to come back, ever. Not in the two weeks I've been in here. Never moving, never eating, never sleeping.

I was driving myself crazy in here. Every time I would look away I felt like she would move. All night and all day I studied her body looking for proof to shove in that dumb doctor's face. I may still be waiting, but I'll never stop.

…

"Caroline, Caroline. Wake up."

When I open my eyes I see Han. He always came to see her after the diner closed with Earl. Speaking of him, he trails in with vending machine snacks and lays them on the window sill. "Just incase you get hungry. I know you don't want to leave."

"Thanks, Earl."

"Have you heard anything?"

"Nothing," the word sent shivers down my spine. "Dr. Mason doesn't think she's going to make it."

"Who the hell does that dick weed think he is!?" Han yells.

Earl shakes his head. "Do you think she's gonna make it?"

"Of course."

"Then that's all that matters."

Han walks to Max's bed side and Earl sits down next to me. "It's been weird not hearing your insults. I almost miss them. I don't know if you can hear me, Max, but if you can we miss you and we'll be right here when you wake up."

"Han, I never seen you cry before."

"I'm not crying. It's my allergies."

"Uh-huh, allergies," Earl scoffs. "Good one."

"Max wouldn't want us to be sad," I cut in.

"If only she was able to lighten the mood with a penis joke."

Han looks closer to her face. "Did you put make up on her?"

"Yes," I say, defensively. "Just because she's in a coma doesn't mean she can't look like she isn't."

"A high intensity coma," Han nods, tears starting to form.

"With a five percent chance of waking up," Earl adds, starting to cry as well.

"Guys, don't bring negative vibes in here. Max needs to be set in a positive environment."

"You're right. We need to be optimistic."

Earl gets up to get a closer view, Han occupies his seat and starts bawling on my shoulder.

Earl takes Max's hand. "Max, you're like a daughter to me and if anyone can come out of this it's you. Keep fighting," he bends down to kiss her forehead. As he comes up he gasps.

Han snaps out of it. "What?" we say in unison, jumping up from our chairs.

"You aren't going crazy. I definitely felt movement."

"I knew it. She stirred."

We all gather around the bed in wait for her next movement. When minutes tick by and nothing happens we sit back down. Han grabbing the stool.

This was gonna be a long month.

…

"It's absolutely killing me I'm not in there right now."

"It's probably good you listen to the doctors," Oleg nods. "And I thought I'd be the one that got us kicked out of here."

Since they had to change her oxygen tank we had to step out. Not before I had a few choice words for Dr. Mason. Don't get me wrong, I still have hope, but the worry that they'd consider her a liability pained me. If they unplugged her, I would be the one that died.

Once I was brought out of my thoughts I took a mental scale of the hospital. The back room had all the documents and I needed to know Max's status. I slowly got up and put my purse down to save my spot.

"Oleg, I'm going to go lurk."

"Fine by me. I'll stay here and watch for Sophie."

Luckily enough the bathrooms were right next to the back room. All I had to do was pretend I was going pee and wait for the cluster of nurses to walk away. Once they did I was in.

I went straight to the first cabinet. "Benson, Berry, Bishop, Black!"

I carefully pull out her file. Status: pending. Ugh, figures. I whip out my phone and take pictures of each paper then put them back. I'm just about to walk out when I hear someone coming. I panic and duck behind the printer.

"Dr. Mason, I have good news."

"Yes? What is it?"

"Ms. Black is stable. It's incredible, I've never seen such fast results to the medication. She now has a forty percent chance of recovery."

"Amazing news, Fiona. I'll give the good news."

I start crawling out hoping they wouldn't notice.

"Wait."

I freeze, my stomach turns to knots. Before I reveal myself and start apologizing Fiona continues.

"I'll give the good news."

I reach the door and throw myself into the bathroom trying to make the exit look more convincing. Luckily, nobody notices.

I take my seat next to Oleg before Dr. Smith reaches us. I put on a sad face.

"I have news on Max."

I try not to light up. "Good or bad?"

"Eh, more like amazing. She responded to the injection. She is currently in stable condition. Her recovery rate is up to forty percent.

I cry, but for the first time in four long weeks, they're tears of joy.

"You can head back on down and…"

I bolt down the hall and into Max's room faster than she can say "see". I take my rightful place back beside her. Shortly after, Sophie comes in wearing dull colors and barely wearing all of her hair. This is the first time I ever seen Sophie not smile.

"How is she?"

"She's doing amazingly well."

"Oh, that's good," Sophie nods coming over to her bed. "I brought you more make up. Yeah, she'll be the most gorgeous patient they ever had."

She lays the make up on the window sill.

"I haven't eaten anything in days. I'm starving."

"I can ask Han to bring us some…"

"Oh, don't worry. I have food in my purse," Sophie pulls out two containers full of spaghetti. "You want any?"

"Maybe later. I still have to brush Max's teeth." I grab the toothbrush and squirt some enamel toothpaste on it. Gently, I pull her lip up and begin to brush.

"Aren't the nurses supposed to do that?"

"Yeah, but I don't mind. Besides, there's no way I'm letting Dr. Mason touch her."

"Isn't he the cute Caucasian man?"

"Yes, Sophie," I nod, working down to the bottom gums. "If you can call him that," I mutter.

Just as I finish, Oleg comes in. "You know there's an old woman out there with only one foot?"

"Did you get a picture?"

"Sophie, you can't take pictures of other patients," Oleg scoffs.

"Exactly."

"But that didn't stop me. I'll send them to you."

"I hope baby Barbara doesn't inherit your no sense for boundaries."

"Oh and apparently there is only three to a room and Han's getting antsy." Oleg motions over to their boss waving in the hall.

"Fine, but tell him not to take forever, ok? I want some time alone with my girl too."

Oleg and Sophie retreat to the waiting room just as Han busts in carrying flowers. "The tulips are from Earl. He'll be here later."

"How sweet," I say, taking the flowers from him and putting them on the table with the others. "I'll tell him they're lovely."

"So I heard Max is stable."

"Yeah, I know," I smile. "Her life expectancy is forty."

"That's amazing!" Han exclaims. "If only she could respond this well to work."

We both manage to chuckle a bit before the severity kicks in.

"You know, I think of you two more as friends than employees," Han nods. "Just help me understand what happened."

I sigh then start to cry. "This is all my fault."

"I'm sure that isn't true."

"It is."

We both sit in the chairs.

"It was a Tuesday. We were getting ready for a catering job…"

"Max, hurry up in there would you! We only have twenty minutes and I still haven't gotten cleaned up yet."

"Yeah, yeah I'm hurrying! Jeez, calm down."

"You've been in there forever! We're just serving a small get together, you know."

"Yes, I know. I just want to look nice, ok?"

"You always look nice. It's not like you really have to try."

"Thank you."

When she comes out, I finally get my turn then we start walking to the subway.

"I can't believe the success we're having with the dessert bar. It's like with all of these catering jobs, we can actually make rent this month."

"Well, it would be nice to not have to pay off the landlord some other way," Max nods. "My neck is still sore."

"Mine too. We really have to stop cleaning his house."

"Right? Anymore clean and Mr. Clean might try to invade."

.

"That's when I looked at Max and seen a drunk man running up the road carrying rocks, but my reaction was too late. Max seen him first and she dodged in front of me taking the hit to the head."

"You can't blame yourself for that Caroline. Max wanted to save you," Han sooths.

"I should have saved her. It shouldn't be her in that hospital bed right now," I was full on crying on his shoulder by the time I even got through the sentence. "

"Shh, it will be ok."

I knew that, but it still didn't stop the tears from coming.

"I just want her to wake up already."

"I know…"

…

It was a Sunday and the usual diner rush never came so Han decided to close up early to see Max. It was crazy how a whole month can go by so fast, even if you're not having fun. The tears still stained my cheeks. She still hasn't woken and if she didn't soon I don't know what I'll do. I'll probably go insane.

"Caroline, visiting hours are over."

I turn. "Are we really going to start this again?"

"We have some more tests to run and I'd hate to say it, but her life expectancy decreased again."

"But you said she was responding well. You said she was a definite."

"Sometimes things go well one day then terrible the next. She just isn't producing the expected outcome."

"How dare you talk about her like she's some kind of science project! She is a human being and she deserves to live! Don't you dare give up on her!"

When I refused to leave, they escorted me out of the building completely. It was the first time in two months that I haven't been by her side. What if she woke up and I wasn't there? She would be devisated. Or maybe she wouldn't care. No, she would care. It wasn't my fault like Han said, right?

Ugh, I didn't know what to do anymore. Everything revolved around Max just like it should right now in her time of need. I had to sneak back into that hospital. I had to tell Max I loved her and not just as a friend, but as so much more than that. I just wished I told her before this happened.

…

I was staring at Max again like a creep. Not the real deal, but pictures of us on my phone. I scrolled down to the very first picture. The one I described as an AC/DC tribute band that you can pay in cocaine. It made me tear up a bit. I missed having her around so freaking much. I'd give anything to have her here with me, cheering me up like she used to. I'd cut off all my hair if it meant her waking up.

The apartment was so quite It scared me. No Max to light up the dump. No Max to hum while she baked and got baked at the same time. No Max period.

I left my phone on the couch and walked to her room gently opening the door like she was in there sleeping.

"Max are you awake?"

"No."

"I can't sleep. I have too much on my mind."

"Ignore it and go away."

"I can't just ignore it. Some people feel things."

"Must suck for you."

"Can I just sleep in here with you tonight?"

"If it gets you to shut up."

I smiled. Max would always pretend to be mad, but I knew she wasn't. I would pretend to not be able to sleep even though I really could. I found any excuse I could to sleep next to her. Does that make me weird? Maybe a little.

I wonder if Max noticed me being weird and just didn't say anything. I wonder if she felt the same way. Wait, no. Feels. I meant, I wonder if she feels the same way because she can still feel. She's still alive. I, often as possible, try to forget all the times I took her for granted. She saved my fucking life and I couldn't even say thank you.

I finally laid down on her bed, entangled myself in her sheets, and cried myself to sleep.

…

Sophie pulled some strings and the doctors allowed me back in the hospital. And by "pulled some strings" I mean threatened them. Han was already there not taking his eyes off her. I know they messed with each other a lot, but they still cared about one another.

"Anything?" Oleg asks.

Han looks up with red, puffy eyes. I only feared the worst taking Max's cold hand in mine. "Nothing."

I looked over at him.

"Caroline, they're going to unplug her."

"They… they can't do that."

I walk out of the room in a fit of rage and storm down the hallway to find that dipshit doctor. Luckily, he was in the waiting room talking to a couple.

"It'll just be a minute before we get those papers."

"Hey!"

The couple jerks as Dr. Mason looks up at me.

"How could you pull the plug on Max? She's going to make it. It's only been two months."

The two gasp.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" He whispers.

"Why? You don't want them knowing the truth?" I look at the couple. "Don't trust your loved ones here. They'll give up on them."

The woman looks at the man then they promptly get up and leave. He tries to call them back, but they're already gone. He turns around towards me.

"Look, I can't imagine what you're going through. Unfortunately I don't make those tough decisions. Max was doing well for some time, but it looks bleek for her. I am so incredibly sorry."

I start to cry. "No you're not. What if that was some one you loved? Wouldn't you try to do everything you could to keep them?" Before he goes to speak, I continue. "She got hurt trying to save me. Now it's my turn to save her."

His eyes glaze slightly "I will do everything in my power to keep that woman alive."

Dr. Mason walks off and I walk back to the room. Hu, I guess he wasn't as heartless as I thought.

"What happened?" Han asks.

I take Max's hand. "She's not going anywhere."

"Oh, thank god," Han exhales.

I look down at Max. "Please wake up you bitch. We fucking need you."

I bend down to kiss her cheek. That's when her eyes open. Her beautiful blue eyes.

"Car… Caroline?"

"Max! Max is awake!"

Han jumps up, the redness vanishing from his eyes.

"Oh, Max! You're finally awake."

Dr. Fiona comes in hearing the commotion. "Ms. Black we are so happy you're awake. I never doubted you."

My heart was so happy in that moment I didn't even think about rubbing it in Dr. Mason's face.

"I'll give you all time."

She exits.

I lower my voice.

"Could you hear me?"

"I heard everything," she whispers. "I love you too, Caroline Channing."