Chapter Twelve: Cars Have Windows Too

Damon Salvatore

"I'm just saying, it breaks the flow to type 'Die', then comma, 'Die', then comma, 'Die', then comma... it doesn't give the impression that you really mean it."

"Oh, really?" Elena snarled. "How about 'Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up'...?!" She shrieked the final two words, digging her fingertips into the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white.

Damon shrunk into his seat at her tone; not to mention the corners of her eyelids were beginning to twitch. "That sounds a little more like you mean it."

"Just because you were telling the truth about Elijah doesn't mean I've forgiven you," Elena stated angrily. "I've run out of words to describe the type of person you are."

"Pulchritudinous?"

"I know what that means!" she screeched, unamused.

"Oh." He'd hoped she didn't. It meant 'physically beautiful' – he'd learned it from Word of the Day toilet paper he'd given his brother as a gag gift. Stefan had certainly paid attention to the gift since Damon had received a message from him containing the word defenestration that same week.

Elena had barely looked at Damon throughout the twenty minutes she'd been driving. He had no idea where she was going, but the further away from Elijah, the better. If Elijah had bugged her phone, it was probably best not to ask her to disclose her destination in case he was picking up everything they said. Truth be told, Damon was surprised she hadn't kicked him out of the car yet, especially when he stupidly decided to add under his breath, "Can't help but notice you didn't deny it though."

Her intake of breath was sharp. "Any second now, I'm going to throw you out of the window."

"That's called defenestration."

"What?!"

"To kill someone by throwing them out of a window – that's called defenestration."

"Then I... am going... to defenestrate... you!" she threatened through her teeth.

"Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's said that to me."

Elena almost laughed. "Oh, I believe it!"

Her driving became more erratic, the car swaying slightly. Now was a good time to quit bothering her.

Turning his head and looking out of the window, Damon recognized the tree-lined road they were on. His parents had driven this route many times when he and Stefan were kids. Just over a mile away was a five-acre lake, surrounded by woodland, and dotted around the lake were several vacation homes. At least, Damon had thought they were vacation homes when he was younger and everything seemed bigger and grander, but in reality, they were nothing more than large fishing lodges. It explained why every other family was also there fishing. Many of the other kids were joined by their fathers, but in the case of the Salvatore children, fishing was something they had learned from their mother, having learned it from her father, who had left her the lodge as part of her inheritance. Their father didn't offer much engagement, aside from renovating the lodge so it was more to his comfort, and spending most of his time working while they were playing.

Now the lodge belonged to Stefan. Giving up his share after the death of their mother was the least Damon could do considering the amount of times he had terrified his younger brother into believing there were bears in the woods that were going to eat him. Now that Damon was facing the prospect of being dumped on the side of the road, he was wondering if that was true.

"Do you think there are bears around here?" he thought out loud.

Elena still wasn't out of her mood. "Do you want to find out?"

He should have expected that answer. "Not really."

As the car began to tremble, Damon noticed that Elena was struggling with resistance in the steering. Of course, she was trying hard to carry on and not let her sudden helplessness show, but he knew something was wrong.

"I should check the car," he told her. "Pull over."

Surprisingly, Elena did what he said without complaint, rotating the wheel and coming to a halt on the edge of the road. She also suspected something wasn't right.

As Damon opened his passenger door, he stopped and turned to Elena. "Don't drive off without me. I know you don't think much of me at the moment, but I do want to make sure you get somewhere safe until Elijah's off your back. Right now, I'm here to protect you." He unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out of the car.

"Protect me from bears?" Elena quipped sarcastically, arching an eyebrow, her lips curving into a smirk.

Damon returned her smirk dryly before closing the door. At least she was joking now – that was a step in the right direction.

After checking his side of the car and finding nothing out of the ordinary, he made his way around the front. No sooner had he stepped in front of the car than a sudden loud rev of the engine startled him. He jumped back instantly, fearing that Elena was planning to flatten him under the wheels. The disapproving scowl he threw at her through the windshield soon relaxed when he saw that she was laughing uncontrollably at his reaction. He launched his eyebrows upwards in a questioning gesture. Really? That's how you're going to play it? But secretly, he was holding back a smile.

Fine, let her have her fun. As long as she was laughing, he was living.

Seeing her laugh, he wasn't sure if he meant that literally or figuratively. She had the kind of smile that could keep any man alive. It was addictive to watch.

He had to act fast while she was in a good mood though, and his pace in front of the bonnet was admittedly a little quicker on the second attempt, just in case she changed her mind and decided a hit-and-run on an empty road was the perfect murder method.

As soon as he reached the opposite side of the car, he saw what the problem was, and he hurried back to the other side to tell her.

He opened the passenger door. "You're losing air in your front tire fast. You've got a mile max until it's completely flat. You got a spare?" A mile wasn't going to get her to wherever she was aiming to be. She had the option to stay at Stefan's lodge, of course. He didn't think she would take him up on that offer though – and that was probably for the best since he didn't know how he would explain all the Salvatore family photos without infuriating her again. She still wasn't aware he was Stefan's brother. He'd find the right time to tell her... like when they were in different countries or something.

Elena winced awkwardly at his question. "My spare's flat."

Damon blinked slowly at her in disbelief. It looked like she'd be finding out today then, considering they were running out of options. Who knows, maybe he'd get lucky and get eaten by a bear before Elena had the chance to drown him in the lake.

"Don't give me that look," Elena said. "I meant to replace it, but it only happened last week."

"You've had two flat tires in two weeks?" That sounded too suspicious. "How did the first one happen?"

"I don't know," Elena insisted. "But Elijah was driving by and spotted me. He changed the tire and called himself my –" Elena rolled her eyes, the pattern beginning to dawn on her. "– my knight in shining armor."

Damon got back in the car and closed the door. "That's too coincidental." He remembered Elijah leaning down beside Elena's car before they took off. "I think he's sabotaging your car and then tracking you to the location where you're stranded."

Elena didn't look convinced. "That's way too extreme... and he can't possibly be monitoring my entire life, Damon."

"He can if your entire life is on your phone. Has he installed anything on it?"

She started shaking her head but then stopped. Pressing her lips together, she sighed through her nose, considering the dreaded possibility that Damon might be right. "He... gave me an international SIM card. He said it would help me reach a wider audience online."

Groaning, Damon slumped his head back on his headrest. "Nobody ever warned you not to accept gifts from strange men?"

"No..." Elena replied dryly. "But I was warned not to get into cars with strange men."

Damon rolled his tongue against his front teeth. She had a point. "Okay, here's what's going to happen," he sighed. "You're going to drive this car as far as it will go before your 'knight in shining scrap metal' shows up. I'm going to take out your SIM and toss it out the window. Preferably into some nettles or quicksand."

Pulling her phone off its cradle on the dashboard, Elena clutched it to her chest. "You can't! This is my livelihood!"

"You won't have a life to have a livelihood if Elijah finds you."

Looking down at her phone mournfully, like Damon had just suggested taking it off of life support, Elena finally relented and began to hand it over. Then, as soon as Damon reached out for it, she withdrew her offer. "I want your phone first."

"Why?"

"Because if I'm going to be stuck in a car with a weirdo like you, I want a working phone."

Again, she had a point. At least she was learning to prioritize her safety. Plus, she'd downgraded her insults towards him from 'psycho' to 'weirdo', which was oddly flattering. "Fine." Damon dug into his pocket and handed over his phone, swapping it with Elena's. "The password's sexypants."

Testing out the password to check that it worked, she responded dryly, "Of course it is."

"I was thinking of you when I set that password." At Elena's surprised expression, Damon added, "Don't worry, I'll be changing it to crazypants later."

Elena shot him a cold glare. His password worked and – unlike Elijah – Damon did not have photos of her on either his lock screen or home screen. Both wallpapers were of himself striking sexy poses. She flashed him his own photos to prompt him for an explanation.

"It guarantees I'll never lose my phone. Whoever finds it will always hand it back."

Elena sighed heavily, like she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to the question she was about to ask. "Why exactly?"

He arched an eyebrow playfully. "Well, wouldn't you want to meet the guy in that picture?"

She groaned. "Unfortunately, I already did." Then she took Damon's advice and pulled back onto the road while he worked on removing her SIM card.