Drip*
...
Drip*
...
...
Drip*
...
Drip*
...
Did you have dreams?
Of course I had dreams... Just like everybody else.
Did you give up on them?
A long time ago...
But you thought about them recently no?
...
*Drip*
You thought that you could maybe achieve them now that things were going good for you, didn't you?
...
Do you have regrets?
Too many...
Yet you still walk forward
*Drip*
Why didn't you fall into the abyss?
Because... That's not who I want to be, there's always another path...
Who told you that?
My... Dad
...
*Drip*
Who was he?
Heh... An alcoholic old man with smoking problems and anger issues.
So why do you hold him in such high regard?
Because despite being far from a good father figure, he tried, he always did...
...
...
*Drip*
And your mother?
Just like my dad, except for the alcohol and a huge plus on the smoke, heh... She is the one who encouraged me to embrace my empathy to the fullest...
*Drip*
And what happened to them?
...
They died
And then? Your memory is a bit foggy from that point right?
*Drip*
...
Not a single tear...
Hm?
*Drip*
I didn't drop a single tear for them.....
...
The faces of everyone at the burial... Anger? Disappointment? Sadness, horror, fear.
And then everything was taken away from you.
...
By who?
My... sister...
She kicked you out of your own house
She somehow took all the things your parents left for you, and you didn't even bother fighting for it. You were so naive and vulnerable that you just nodded and left to probably die on the street...
You even tried to end it all yourself... Right?
Just a bit of pain and all of your problems would go away, just some red of your own and you would never have to worry about anything again... So easy, just grab something with some edge and that's it, freedom.
...
*Drip*
But sadly it didn't end there, eventually you looked for a sorry job and with the initial help of some close relatives you survived... Gave up your dreams, your aspirations, your friends and even your empathy to just focus on surviving. The years went by... and you started to feel again.
What did you feel?
Anger
So
Much
Anger...
You wanted revenge, you wanted to see your sister suffer, you wanted to go to your old house, knock on the door, and when she opened it, you wanted to paint yourself red... Right?
Yes...
But
You
Didn't...
...
*Drip*
Why?
I knew that i wouldn't be able to come back if I did.
That didn't matter, you changed anyways.
You bottled up all of that, and it kept growing and growing and growing and growing until you inevitably changed. You couldn't even meet a new person without imagining a dozen ways to kill them while giving them a wide smile... Right?
...
...
Drip*
And yet, you didn't fall into the abyss...
Instead you somehow kept that deep inside while you pretended that everything was fine, you tried to rebuild your life there, but you knew that wasn't possible anymore.
It took me a long while but I saved enough money to leave that place and travel as far as I could to start anew, new home, new friends, new opportunities... New me.
And there I was, in a group of teens who got together to go to a 'Vacation' across the pond. But I knew that of all of them I was the only one who wasn't going to go back with them.
And surprisingly... Even though it was a rough start, it all went well, I got a job, some of the guys that came along stayed with me, I made some good friends... I was rebuilding my life, yet I had to put up a mask to make it work... And that mask became my face, a vision of who I was in the past, who I wanted to be again...
The line between the mask and what's behind became thicker with the time, those memories became bad dreams, buried past. But it's impossible to pretend that it wasn't all real, as much as I want to keep that mask up... I know what's behind it's always going to be there, waiting for the bottle to break.
...
Drip*
Huh... This feels... Quite different from last time...
Why was I talking with myself?
Was I talking with myself?
Step*
Huh... Time is up I guess...
All this time... Holding back what I know I am, pretending to be someone who doesn't exist anymore...
It worked, it worked pretty well for a while, I honestly thought that maybe I could just get rid of that part if things were to keep going that well... That truly... I could have started anew...
Step*
But it doesn't matter now... This is the end of the line for me...
So...
It's alright...
To...
Let it go...
Right?...
*Step*
I don't...
Care anymore...
*CRACK*
-Two days earlier-
"And that way you can maneuver a bit better on complicated highways" Explains the young man to a very focused girl writing on a notebook.
"I think I get it" She says writing everything the young man says.
Some days have passed since the delivery the young man had to take for the girl, since then he has been teaching her some tricks and some advice about his job to her, Kenji didn't like him to take time of his vacation doing this but in the end he let it happen, it was the young man's idea after all.
"Alright, I should get going, Kenji is gonna be really uneasy if I stay here any longer" He says.
"Oh, okay, thanks for taking the burden of instructing me, I would also feel a bit bad If I steal anymore of your time" The girl says shyly.
"Nah, don't worry, I needed something to distract myself on my vacation, there's not much to do at my apartment so I appreciate some opportunities to go out and do stuff"
"Hahaha, I get you, I feel the same at my place, you just can't be behind the same four walls for long periods of time right?"
"Exactly"
-Meanwhile, at the apartment-
"So, what's the plan?"
"I guess just the normal stuff?"
"No way man, it has to be something special, something bigger"
"And something we can afford"
"Don't be like that, if we combine our wallets I'm sure we can put something nice together"
"But are you even aware if he will like it? Maybe he doesn't even like that style"
"I can't ask him directly, even if he likes it it will be ruined if he knows before hand"
"That's true..."
The crew is reunited around the table discussing something, a magazine and some of their phones displaying party props are in the middle.
"We have four days guys, we have to put a nice party for him, it's the least we can do"
"But didn't he say that he doesn't celebrate his birthday anymore?"
"Yeah, but it doesn't matter how old he is, a good party between friends is always welcome"
"Okay then, let's get to work, Jay, you get the food, Pablo, you find some cool props, no colorful stuff, we are not children, same color, preferably blue, I will try to find a place for the party, I have a pretty good idea in mind"
-Some time later, at the city center-
The young man is browsing some treats at a small bakery, his eyes wander around the various sweets and cakes
Hmmm, maybe I could...
Old memories emerge in his mind, old aspirations that normally would annoy him, but today they make him feel something different, encouragement.
Nah, I can't, not right now at least... Maybe when Kenji doesn't need me anymore.
He buys some white chocolate, his favorite, in the form of some bars and leaves the bakery with a small smile on his face. He wanders around some more, visiting every sweet related establishment he can find and buying the same thing, white chocolate, but making sure that he knows where each of them comes from.
He eventually stops and starts walking home since he perfectly knows the chocolate he already bought won't hold it's form for long.
...
After quickly leaving the chocolate in the apartment's fridge he decides to take a walk in the usual park, it is already nighttime but he wants a quiet place to think about some things.
When he arrives he starts to slowly walk around the pond, there's few people around so he doesn't feel weird being here at this hour.
It's been almost two weeks...
The young man has been watching the news and reading the newspapers everyday since his vacation started, searching for a specific event to happen, but he hasn't find anything.
Maybe he already...
A small wicked grin appears on his face almost involuntary, but it quickly disappears as his empathy does it's thing.
Poor kid... I hope they find him...
He stops walking and sits down on a bench.
I don't regret my decision, i wasn't going to risk it all by getting involved with that kid... I can only move forward now.
Eventually he starts to think about his future, something he hasn't done in years since he didn't think he had one.
Four days left of my vacation and then back to work, I wonder if Kenji is planning of expanding the current building or maybe open a second restaurant elsewhere. Man, the rising popularity of his restaurant is almost as impressive as B Komachi's.
Maybe I could keep working there for a few more years , save up some money and then move out of the apartment to let the guys have some more space. I could buy a bike of my own, i could even start my own-...
He looks at the sky and a small smile forms on his face.
He spends a while looking up and thinking of all the things he could do, so many doors opening in front of him, so many paths to take, he finally has the chance to leave all his pain and suffering behind, maybe even forget about them for good... His future right in this moment looks... Bright.
-The next day-
"So, almost out of free days?" Says Jay
"Yep, but I gotta say, I'm kinda relieved that it's almost over, doing absolutely nothing work related for two whole weeks makes me feel a bit uneasy" The young man responds.
"Hahaha I guess vacation for someone like you who works a lot can be kinda wierd"
Jay and the young Man are currently in a shopping mall looking for some clothes for the upcoming winter, unsurprisingly the jackets they brought here were completely useless for the cold so this time they want to be prepared. But this, although true, is not the only reason why both of them are here, while Jay is with the young man, Pablo and Frank are in Kenji's restaurant, convincing him to let them use it for the young man's birthday.
"But why only you and me?" The young man says. "Frank and Pablo should be here as well, if we are buying clothes for winter we all should be doing it together to not waste time"
Jay gets a bit nervous by the obvious question but he came prepared for this situation.
"Well, they said they were going to look for some extra blankets or something"
"Hm, alright" Says the young man. "Let's find some warm clothes, I don't want to experience another winter without proper jackets"
Both of them continue walking through the mall.
-Meanwhile, Kenji's restaurant-
"I'm not sure about this" Says Kenji to the two teens Infront of him.
"Aw come on, it will only be one day, besides, it'll be fun!" Frank explains
"It's not about that, you already know that he doesn't celebrate that day anymore"
"That's because he couldn't, he said he was always to busy to celebrate those days, but now with your help he can enjoy that day one more time, please, we really want to do this for him"
Kenji thinks for a moment, even though Frank is the one doing the talking he can clearly see that Pablo is also begging with his eyes, this means a lot to them, and even Kenji can't deny that he also wants to do it.
"Alright" he says
Frank and Pablo's eyes light up with that answer.
"Yes! Thank you" Says Frank in a very happy tone.
"Well, let's start planning then, i hope you guys have bought something already, we have only one day to plan and another to get this place ready"
"Don't worry, we have some ideas"
-Back at the mall-
The young man and Jay are now leaving the mall with a couple of bags on their hands, both of them are pleased to potentially have a warm winter, if that's even possible.
But even though they had a good time shopping around, the young man couldn't help but notice the subtle awkwardness of Jay during that time, he can tell that something is going on, but is it worth it to ruin this calm walk home to get some answers? Normally he would question him without hesitation, but right now... He really doesn't want to spoil the mood.
They walk home talking about other things.
-Far away, outside the city-
"You can't be serious about this! It's too risky!"
"I know I know, but I reaaaally want to talk to him"
"Why? Why in a moment like this?"
"Because its just perfect luck! I won't have another chance like this one ever again"
"But what if he leaks your situation?! The consequences will be-"
"Don't worry about that, il try my best to convince him to keep the secret"
Sigh* "you are dead serious about this... aren't you?"
"Yep"
"And how did you even knew?"
"I didn't, as I said, perfect luck, I just looked out the window and bam! There he was, that's why I have to take this chance!"
"Fine, il make the call tomorrow"
"Yess! Thank you so much doctor! And I'm sorry for being so greedy with this as well hehe..."
"Let's just hope everything goes well..."
Hm?--
-The next day-
"Really?"
"I'm so sorry for asking you to do that again on the last day of your vacation but..."
"Hahaha! relax, I'm not mad, I'm just surprised"
"Then?"
"Of course il do it"
"Thank you"
"On my way then"
Tap*
Again? Man, his business is something else, at this rate he will need to open another restaurant in distant places as well.
The young man puts his phone away and starts to get dressed, he returns to his normal job tomorrow anyway so this could be useful to warm up and leave behind those two weeks of 'Relaxation'
...
At the restaurant, the young man is just arriving as the order is finished
"Hey"
Kenji turns around and smiles, but the little frown on his eyes show something completely different, he is relieved to see his delivery guy, but he is also ashamed.
"Sup, thanks for taking this order... And sorry again for ruining your last day of vacation"
"Don't worry man, it will be a nice warm up for the tide of work your plans will bring up"
"I suppose that's true... Then I guess i can ask you one more thing?" Asks Kenji with a bit of shyness
"Of course"
"Well... We got another order while you were on your way here"
"Okay, where to?"
"Actually it's kinda lucky, it's close to the other order destination"
"Huh? You mean...?"
"Yep, both are outside the city"
"Hm"
"Yeah I know, I don't know how it's happening but the restaurant is getting a lot of attention from far away, and don't get me wrong, I'm very happy about it, but it's to fast, thank god we are starting our expansion next week, the timing couldn't be more perfect." Kenji explains.
"That really is amazing, and how far this time?"
"The first one is going to the same place as last time, the hospital, the second one is for a place a bit further away from there, and by the amount of food they ordered, it's for a reunion or a mini party"
The young man feels a bit relieved to hear the hospital ordered again, but they received another, even bigger order from even further away? That's a bit troubling, he doesn't know the roads that far, but he just needs to be careful and drive slowly if he needs to.
"Senpai!" A girl voice calls from behind the young man, he turns around to see Yuki with a very anxious expression.
"Hey!" he says
"I'm so sorry for making you work again, and on your last day of vacation no less..." She seems very frustrated. "I swear I will deliver those orders next time no matter what!"
The young man is surprised to hear such resolution from her, but he knows that feeling can be dangerous if fuelled by pure anxiety, plus if he tells her again that he doesn't mind at all, she won't take it.
She is not even looking at him, her gaze is down, she is ashamed as well.
The young man gently puts his hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, you are making this a bigger deal that it really is, this is my job after all" He says
Yuki slowly relaxes as she listens to him, but she is still looking down.
"You shouldn't feel like this because of me doing my job, yeah, I was on vacation, but it would be foolish for anyone, even for me, to think that the world would stop and wait for my vacation to be over, things happen and they indeed happened, it just happened to be on my free time haha"
Yuki suddenly looks up.
"But!..."
"But nothing, don't push yourself like that when you don't have to" He gets a bit serious. "And please don't do anything harsh like trying to ride that far without proper preparation, that can only end badly"
She stays quiet for a moment.
"Got it?" The young man asks.
"Yes sir" she replies more relaxed
"Great, and if you really feel like you have to do something, I like sweets" He says with a warm smile and giving her a pat on the shoulder"
"Got it!" She says with new determination.
"And tell you what, when I get back, if it isn't late, I will show you how to do those trips"
"Thanks!" She says smiling. " I will get the bike ready for the big order, be right back!" She turns around and leaves.
The young man turns around to see Kenji with a proud smile.
"I know how she feels, I don't want her to punish herself for things out of her control" The young man says.
"She is inexperienced, but with you as her senior and her motivation she will become a great professional in the business" Kenji says.
"That is true, but I still feel a bit bad for her doing this kind of job, she should be aiming higher than simply delivering things, but she is young so I guess is normal for teens like her to look for part time jobs"
"Oh, yeah, she definitely is, this is just a short term job to get some money and keep on studying, but I gotta say, she has more energy than I expected a teen would have doing a boring part time job, I wonder what's that about"
"Oh! And by the way, how are your parents doing? Still putting excuses?" The young man asks.
"Oof... You have no idea, remember last time I told you they were absolutely in love with their travels?"
"Yeah"
"Well... In short, they won't be coming back"
"Huh?"
"They loved their last place of vacation so much they just decided to stay there indefinitely"
"You are kidding right?"
"I wish I was, but I already told you how they are, they make some plans in the morning and then they override those plans with new ones by super"
"Wow... And what about the restaurant?"
"They seem happy by how I'm handling it, but still... *Sigh* They are so carefree..."
"Well, I have to agree with them on that, you indeed are handling this pretty damn well haha"
Kenji smiles at the comment
Ding!*
"That's my queue"
"Oh! Right, long way to go, better deliver this before it gets cold" Says Kenji
The young man takes the massive order and heads to his bike, but he turns around before leaving.
"This is just the beginning Kenji, I can't wait to see what you got prepared for the business next week"
"Haha!, you'll see" Says Kenji
The young man smiles at him
"Be right back"
...
After the same tour he did some days back, the young man is arriving at the hospital, his first stop to deliver, curiously enough, the same order as last time, he takes it and walks in heading for the reception.
"Hello again" He says to the receptionist, she looks at him.
"Hello, same as last time i suppose"
"That's right"
The receptionist grabs the telephone and calls someone, presumably doctor Gorou. The young man waits patiently for a couple of minutes before someone enters the reception, as expected it is the doctor.
"Nice to see you again doctor" Says the young man with a smile
"Yeah" Gorou responds rather coldly
The young man obviously notices the weird mood of the doctor with that word, he doesn't seem angry or stressed but theres something bothering him.
"Sorry for the inconvenience but could you please bring the order this way please?" Gorou continues with the same tone.
The young man, a bit confused agrees.
"Uh.. Okay"He says
The young man picks up the order from the reception desk and follows the doctor through the inner halls of the hospital, although he is familiar with hospitals and doesn't see anything wrong with them he feels a bit uncomfortable in the silent halls.
After a while of walking the doctor stops Infront of a door, the young man stops behind him.
"I know this is weird and maybe uncomfortable, but my patient wanted to receive the order from you directly" Gorou says with a serious tone
The young man is even more confused now, not only the doctor wanted him to carry the food through the hospital, he also wants him to deliver it personally to his patient? No, even more weird than that, the patient itself wanted him to deliver it personally.
Wild scenarios run through the young man's mind, maybe it's just an old lady wanting to thank him for being so kind to deliver food to such a far away place from the restaurant, maybe it's a serious man wanting to know who is the one handling his food all the way here, or maybe it's a kid wanting to know the chef? It'll be difficult to explain to him how that works though...
Whatever it might be, he prepares himself mentally for any of those or any other probable scenario, he looks at Gorou.
"Alrighty then, it's always nice to meet someone who enjoys our food, hehe, and don't worry, I won't take long" He says, the last part with a bit of doubt as he thinks that's the cause of why Gorou is with a weird mood, he is practically stealing his time doing this after all.
"I pretty much doubt it" Gorou whispers to himself before doing a hand motion to the door, letting the young man know that he can enter.
The young man steps Infront of the door and grabs the handle, but just before he opens it the doctor speaks.
"And please, be descreet about this" He says before walking away.
Discreet? Huh... Company policy I guess? Whatever, why would I even want to leak some info about some random patient in a hospital in the middle of almost nowhere? Besides we probably are going the get along pretty well if it likes Kenji's food that much hehe.
The young man opens the door and enters the room making sure to close it, the first thing to catch his eye is the patient, she is on a wheelchair with her back at him looking through the window, he can immediately tell it's a she because of her long hair, but he doesn't pay that much attention to the details.
"Hello mam, I was told you wanted to see me?" He says.
When the patient confirms that the one behind her isn't Gorou, she slowly turns around to face him.
"I gotta admit it is a bit weird to have the delivery guy come straight into your room haha!, but I'm glad you like ou-" Is what he manages to say before the words are incapable of coming out anymore at the sight and recognition of who is Infront of him, his eyes lock in with hers, she smiles warmly at him.
She then winks and makes an expression as if she was in a photo shot.
"Yo! Long time no see!" She says.
Once again the impossible odds, destiny, or simply incredible bad luck reunited the brightest star and a nobody who thought he would never see her again in person. But there was no denying it, she was right there, the lead idol of the group of the moment, the light for so many who are in the dark, and the target for some others...
Ai
Author's Notes
Well... Wow... Three whole months for the next chapter... After all I said in the last notes consider me ashamed for this monstrous delay. This time I have no excuse, soon after I uploaded the last chapter i was in Christmas vacations, and I don't know how or why but my brain quite literally went into battery saving mode or something, I didn't feel like doing anything, and when I tried to finish up this chapter I just couldn't, my mind didn't want to, I don't know if it was the sudden free time after a lot of busy hours or just my laziness at its peak... But I did quite literally nothing these vacations, just sleep and sleep some more...
Usually when I write a chapter I have 4 steps: 1. I write the chapter. 2. I 'polish' the chapter, Which means I read it again very cautiously to fix any typos or mistakes my very limited english can spot, and to make sure it is how i thought it. 3. I start writing the next chapter, usually the first 1k words at least so I know where the story will go (plus that's how I can tease the next chapter's title, so I have a pretty solid idea). And finally 4. I upload the chapter.
But this time I couldn't get past step 2... I just couldn't read more than 1 paragraph without closing the app several times. Which makes me feel even worse, the chapter was pretty much finished, I just needed to polish it... Sorry about that once again.
But, finally vacations are over, and strangely enough a couple of days back I don't know why but I felt like watching the first episode of Oshi No Ko again, and man... It's still as shocking as the first time, I still haven't seen 'season 2' but I intend to watch it these days. But holy moly, just by watching the first episode again it recharged my inspiration to the fullest, I completed step 2 and 3 shortly after and well... Here it is hehe...
I know that my determination and inspiration will only increase as I rewatch the episodes and even more when I get to season 2 since I suspect it has some of the key/darkest events.
But anyways! I hope the few people who read and are intrigued by my story are ready, because now into the abyss we go. So once again I feel like I need to put this here for the future chapters.
Reader Discretion Is Advised
(For the next chapters :p)
Next chapter: The opposite of a star