Notes: Wonderful are you all!^^ Thank you to wolfpup023, Lathya, and Yuumi Nakari for your kind and wonderful reviews!^^ Well, this research paper I have was making me depressed, so I had to write a chapter of comic relief to cheer me up. Many of you are claiming "rabbit season" (duck season, fire?) and that is very true. So, as always, enjoy!^^

Disclaimer: Hoshino Katsura

Warning: Kanda's hate for mornings, said Kanda's mouth, and Lavi being subject to a dodgeball game of horror...

11. How to Get Revenge: Dodgeball

Wednesday, Homeroom, 7:49 AM

Ah, the pain-in-the-ass time known as morning, which, as we know, Kanda hates. True, Wednesdays weren't as bad as Mondays, but a morning is a morning. And mornings equal one way-too-fucking-bright sun, one alarm clock that won't shut the hell up, one walk a few blocks down the street to get his all-black coffee just so he could function, and one trek to school that wasn't all bad until the fucking rabbit decided to show up, spouting his nonsense the remainder of the way. In other words: hell.

Though, this week had been pleasantly calm. For some reason or the other the rabbit hadn't bothered to show up at school for the past two days. Not that Kanda cared. Personally, he hoped that the rabbit had died a horrible death. It was nice to actually finish a cup of coffee in silence for once.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and Kanda inwardly groaned as he saw the familiar redhead upon entering his homeroom. "Where the hell have you been?" he asked. Oh, he definitely didn't care about this. Why had he even asked that question? It was more like giving the rabbit an invitation to go on one of his rants.

However, upon seeing the Japanese, Lavi yelped. "Please don't hurt me!" he shouted, burying his head under a text book. Yeah, that was great protection against a potentially murderous Kanda.

"…" Kanda ignored the rabbit, like he should have done in the first place, and sat down. Possibly, just possibly, ignoring him would keep things quiet for just a little bit longer.

Lavi's one green eye cautiously peeked out from under the book. "You're not doing anything," he stated in disbelief. So much for that plan.

"What for? I made no threats," Kanda deadpanned. He was really not in the mood for the rabbit and his shit.

"So… You're not going to kill me?" Lavi warily asked, checking just to make sure.

"Not yet."

Lavi threw his arms into the air, letting out a loud cheer, leaving Kanda to wonder if the prior had heard the "yet." Not that it mattered, really. The rabbit may have escaped his fate for a few days, but he wasn't going to be able to hide forever.

This, my dear friends, was going to be good.

--

6th Period Gym, 12:05 PM

"No! Don't make me go out there!" Lavi was now shouting at the top of his lungs and clutching onto the door frame of the boy's locker room for his dear life. Surprisingly, this was not a typical scene, which brought about multiple stares from the other members of the gym class that were passing by. Poor souls.

"Why not?" Allen innocently asked. True, he was aware that his friend had taken a certain picture, but he hadn't been informed of the fact that said photo had made its way to our favorite couple.

"She'll kill me! It doesn't matter what we're doing, she'll kill me! We could be playing patty cake and she'd find a way!" Reality really is a deadly thing when it sets in.

"Rabbit, you're acting stupider than usual," Kanda stated. "You seriously can't tell me that you're afraid of a girl."

"Maybe…" Labi squeaked.

"Pathetic." The Japanese then proceeded to relentlessly pull the redhead away from the door frame and into the gym.

"Yu-pon, you're heartless!" Lavi accused, crossing his arms and pouting just like a little kid.

"Honestly, Rabbit. What's the worst that can happen?" Kanda asked, but couldn't help but smirk.

--

"Dooooodgebaaaall!!"

"'What's the worst that can happen?!' 'What's the worst that can happen?!' That's the worst that can happen!!" Lavi hysterically shouted, waving his arms in every which direction like the lunatic we all know he is.

"Rabbit, do me a fucking favor: Shut the hell up!" Kanda yelled, irritated. But then again, when wasn't he?

On the other side of the gym, Ivy was triumphantly cracking her knuckles, an evil smile spread across her face. "Oh, it's on, Rabbit, it's on!" she declared.

Lavi squeaked in a non-too-manly manner and hid behind Allen. "I am so dead. Brit, when I die, you will find my will on my desk at home. I'd like you to know that you get most of my stuff."

"Lavi, aren't you overreacting?" the white-haired boy asked of his friend.

No, my friends, Lavi was not overreacting in the slightest, for here, at Black Order High, dodgeball is utterly brutal. It's an entire forty-five minute free-for-all with no limits and no outs. Essentially, your main goal was to stay alive. With this description, the term "death ball" may seem more apt, but that was the term you used when boredom struck and you went into a corner of the gym with Lenalee and a soccer ball. Damn, that girl could kick.

Of course, there was a simple beauty to the way that dodgeball was played here, and that was that…

"I get to plow the rabbit as many times as I want!" Ivy cheered, smiling at Lavi's vain attempts to hide behind as many people as possible.

The shrill sound of the whistle pierced the air, signaling for the massacre to begin. Ivy didn't waste any time in claiming a ball and launching it towards her target. The redhead doubled over in pain as the ball collided with his stomach and let out a weak "Ouch…"

"Lavi, look out!" Allen warned.

Lavi slowly looked up. "Oh, no."

Ivy's newest missile was quickly heading straight towards his head.

--

"Ow! Lenalee, that hurts!" Lavi whined. After the dodgeball match, he was definitely equipped with his fair share of scrapes and bruises, and had been hauled to the nurse's office by the passing by Lenalee that was now taking care him since the nurse was tending to some other mauled kid. I told you that it was brutal.

"Whatever reason Ivy decided to pummel you was probably your fault," Lenalee chided, taking on hr normal role as the voice of reason.

"Come on, Lenalee, you know that it was just a picture," Lavi insisted.

"Oh, did you show it to them?" the Chinese girl concernedly asked.

"I sent it to Yu-pon; he must have shown Ivy."

Lenalee heavily sighed. "And there en lies your problem."

There was a knock and the two looked to see Ivy standing up against the doorframe.

"The pain is horrible! I can't take it anymore! Please don't hurt me!" Lavi begged, going into fetal position.

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Geez, Rabbit, knock it off. I'm only here because I want to tell you something important, so you better listen up." She paused to make sure that he was listening and then continued. "You see, that was me going easy on you. If you ever do anything like that again, it will be worse. Much worse." She smirked and headed towards the door. "Later!"

Lavi shuddered once and then turned back to Lenalee.

"Commodore, we have work to do."

"I knew you would say that, Colonel."