Estimated Reading Time: 24 Minutes

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N Squared

Ness didn't have work today, so he let himself sink into the comfort of his room. The glow of his monitor lit his face as he lost himself in League of Legends, fingers moving effortlessly across the keyboard.

[- Nate

Discord

On call

Nate: "Yoo, can I get a gank?"

Ness: "Yup. I'm on my way."

…

Ness's champion, Lee Sin, crept toward the top lane bush, his every movement calculated. The rustling leaves concealed him perfectly as he waited for the enemy Garen to step out of position.

"Patience," Ness whispered to himself, his grip tightening on the mouse.

"Let's get him," Nate's voice came through the headset, his tone eager.

The moment Garen moved up, Ness struck. Lee Sin dashed forward with blinding speed, landing a crippling blow. Nate's champion followed close behind, unleashing a flurry of attacks. Garen spun wildly in desperation, but their coordination was flawless.

"He's flashing!" Nate warned, but it was too late for Garen. Their relentless assault chased him down, and with a final, perfectly timed ability, the enemy's health bar evaporated.

"Boom! That's how it's done," Ness said with a grin, leaning back in his chair.

"Easy," Nate replied, though his excitement was clear.

[- Nate

Discord

On call

Nate: "So how's life?"

Ness: "It's been okay. Nothing too crazy."

Nate: "Yeah? Crazy shit has been happenin' to me."

Ness: "Don't tell me you slept around more…"

Nate: "Not this time. I swearsies."

Ness: "What happened?"

Nate: "My best friend's girlfriend kissed me. It was crazy!"

Ness: "Wwhat!"

Nate: "I know right!"

Ness: "Please tell me you told your friend."

Nate: "I did."

Ness: "Did he believe you?"

Nate: "It took some convincin' but we all had a talk about it, and turns out, she's been cheatin' on him."

Ness: "That's awful."

Nate: "So now he's livin' with me."

Ness: "And mom is okay with that?"

Nate: "Yep~"

Ness: "Well, that's good to hear that you're taking care of him."

Nate: "Right now, he's at work, but yeah my friend is super chill. I've been feelin' less lonely since he's been livin' with us. Although he might be movin' away soon. He just went on a house tour not too long ago."

Ness: "How long has he been there?"

Nate: "Not too long. It saddens me that he's leaving so soon, but also I can always just come to his place and we can still chill."

Ness: "That's cool. Is he your only friend?"

Nate: "I have another friend. Her name is Electra. She's cool, but I'm closer with Trey, the dude that's livin' with me."

Ness: "Oh, I know Electra."

Nate: "Whaaat. No way."

Ness: "I've talked to her like once. I'm not sure what we talked about, but it wasn't anything special."

Nate: "Oh damn. I think she forgot about you because she would've definitely thought I was you."

Ness: "I have a good memory."

Nate: "Oh shit! Let's get Baron and end."

…

After securing their kill, Ness and Nate moved toward the Baron pit, their champions weaving through the jungle. Together, they unleashed a flurry of attacks, shredding the massive monster's health bar. Purple energy swirled as Baron roared in defiance, but they were relentless.

"Almost there," Nate said, his champion dishing out critical hits.

Suddenly, enemy champions emerged from the shadows, desperate to steal the kill. "They're here!" Ness warned, quickly repositioning Lee Sin.

Chaos erupted as the fight broke out. Abilities flashed across the screen—fire, lightning, and steel clashing in a dizzying display. Ness moved with precision, kicking back an enemy jungler to secure the Baron kill for their team.

But the battle was far from over. Their opponents swarmed in retaliation, cutting down teammates one by one. Nate's champion fell amidst the frenzy, and Ness gritted his teeth as he fought to hold the line.

"Stay alive, Ness!" Nate's voice urged over the mic.

Despite the losses, the team rallied. A final burst of damage tore through their enemies, leaving Ness's team victorious.

"Baron and a wipe? Not bad," Ness said, his voice steady, though his heart raced.

"Yeah, but I carried," Nate teased.

Ness smirked, adjusting his headset. "Yes you did."

[- Nate

Discord

On call

Nate: "That was a good game!"

Ness: "It was!"

Nate: "All thanks to me~"

Ness: "Only because I gave you ganks."

Nate: "Nah, all me."

Ness: "Mhm suure."

Nate: "But the ganks were appreciated."

Ness: "Alright, ready to go another-

…

Ring! Ring!

[- Nate

Discord

On call

Nate: "Who's callin' ya?"

Ness: "It's—Ninten."

Nate: "Who?"

Ness: "An old friend. Eh, I can talk to him another time."

Nate: "Nah, you should answer."

Ness: "I don't want to."

Nate: "C'mon, Ness. Be more social."

Ness: "But what about our game?"

Nate: "Meh, I can play later."

Ness: "But-

Nate: "Answer it!"

…

Ness let out a quiet sigh as his phone buzzed. Reluctantly, he answered. "Hello?" he said, his voice flat.

The moment Nate heard Ness pick up, he left the Discord call without a word. Ness's scowl deepened as he watched his clone disconnect. They had been having so much fun, and now it was abruptly over. He hated when things were interrupted like this—it was one of his biggest pet peeves.

Still, he forced himself to sound casual, masking his annoyance as he shifted focus to the voice on the other end of the line.

[- Ninten

On call

Ninten: "Hi, Ness. How's it going?"

Ness: "Oh, I'm doing fine, thank you."

Ninten: "Sorry for the sudden call, but I came across this neat bar and thought how cool it would be if the two of us came here and chatted."

Ness: "Ah… s-see I would but—Lucky my Espeon is very sick."

Ninten: "Oh."

Ness: "Yeah. Sorry."

…

"Espii!" Lucky chirped, leaping onto Ness's shoulder with graceful ease. The Espeon nuzzled his trainer affectionately before giving his cheek an enthusiastic lick.

"Aah! L-Lucky, stop!" Ness groaned, squirming as the Pokémon's tongue tickled his skin. His hands shot up to gently push Lucky away, but the Espeon simply purred and leaned in closer, his tail swishing happily.

[- Ninten

On call

Ninten: "Sick, huh?"

Ness: "Wow, he uh—he's suddenly feeling better. Would you look at that, haha…"

Ninten: "I'm happy he's feeling better. This means you can come hang out with me."

Ness: "Right now?"

Ninten: "Yeah!"

Ness: "I—y-yeah ok."

Ninten: "I'm at Raven's Coven. Meet me there."

Ness: "Okay."

Beep!

…

Ness leaned back in his gaming chair, letting out a frustrated sigh as he buried his face in his hands. This wasn't part of the plan. All he wanted today was to play League with Nate, maybe rack up a few wins and banter with his clone. But now everything had changed.

The idea of flaking on Ninten crossed his mind—coming up with some quick excuse to bow out. But the pressure weighed on him, heavier than he wanted to admit. He'd hurt his friends before with his careless, shady behavior, especially Toon Link, and the guilt still lingered.

It's fine, Ness told himself, trying to suppress his growing dread. It's just for a couple hours.

Reluctantly, he stood up from his chair and began to swap his casual outfit for something more presentable—his preppy style clothes. Once dressed, he left his room and made his way toward Raven Coven.

As he approached the entrance of the bar, a wave of unease washed over him. His eyes darted around his surroundings, scanning every corner and shadow. The paranoia crept in—was Mario lurking somewhere nearby, waiting to kidnap him again? Or maybe Snake was hiding, ready to snap a photo of something embarrassing.

But everything appeared normal. After a moment's hesitation, Ness steeled himself and stepped inside.

The bar was dimly lit, filled with the low hum of conversation and clinking glasses. He scanned the area until his eyes landed on Ninten, who was waving enthusiastically from a booth. His bright smile stood out even in the crowded room.

Forcing a smile of his own, Ness made his way over to the booth, trying to push down the knot of apprehension in his stomach.

Ninten: "Hi, Ness! It's good to see you again."

Ness: "Hi."

Ninten: "So how's life been? Let's catch up."

Ness: "Oh y'know, it's been good."

Ninten: "Are you sure?"

Ness: "Yeah, yeah. Things are good so far. How are you and Ana?"

Ninten: "It's amazing everyday to be with her~"

Ness: "Aww, that's cute."

Ninten: "What about you? Have you found a sweetheart yet?"

Ness: "Uh…"

Should I tell him? Ness mulled over the thought, his chest tightening with unease. He desperately wanted to talk to someone about Tina. The secret had been eating away at him.

The memory of Sonic's reaction resurfaced, sharp and stinging. The hedgehog had called Tina a slut, throwing the word around carelessly. It had struck a nerve, leaving Ness both angry and disheartened. He didn't want to risk a repeat of that. Worse, he feared his other friends might start gossiping if they found out. Trusting them with something this personal felt like a gamble he wasn't ready to take.

But this was Ninten. He wasn't part of the usual crowd, someone Ness only saw on occasion. For the most part, Ninten was laid-back, unbothered by drama. If there was anyone who might listen without judgment, it was probably him.

Just as Ness opened his mouth to speak, a shadow fell over their booth. He froze mid-thought, his words slipping away as he glanced up.

Dark Pit stood there, his sharp gaze scanning the two of them. The dark angel's expression was unreadable, but his presence alone carried a weight that made Ness's stomach tighten.

"Hi!" Ninten greeted cheerfully, flashing the newcomer a smile as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

Ness, however, couldn't hide his reaction. His eyes widened in shock, and his heart skipped a beat. He works here?!

Dark Pit: "I apologize."

Ness: "For what?"

Dark Pit: "I was being quite rude at the hangout. I didn't mean to pry."

Ness: "It's okay."

Ninten: "You two hung out?"

Ness: "We went to Popo's weekly party."

Ninten: "Weekly? Oh my god, Ness, are you hanging out with people now?"

Ness: "Y-yeah."

Ninten: "Wow! You? That's cool!"

Ness: "T-thanks."

Dark Pit: "I'm sorry, hold on. Are you the Ness clone everyone is talking about?"

Ninten: "Nope. If anyone's the clone, it's him~"

Ness: "Haha…"

Dark Pit: "I'm confused."

Ninten: "I'm just kidding~ Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Ninten. A spirit here in Smash."

Dark Pit: "Oh, hi. Sorry, I didn't mean to assume."

Ninten: "Don't worry about it."

Dark Pit: "Okay, well, I just came here to apologize."

Ness: "Dark Pit, I didn't know you worked here."

Dark Pit: "Yup. I'm a bartender."

Ness: "It surprisingly matches your aesthetic."

Dark Pit: "How so?"

Ness: "Y'know because this bar is a little dark and gloomy. Kind of like you."

Dark Pit: "..."

Ness: "In a good way of course! This bar is aesthetically cool. I like it."

Ninten: "It matches your cool mysterious aura."

Ness: "Yeah!"

Dark Pit: "I guess. Well, anyway, I'll leave you two alone. Lemme know if you want any drinks."

Ninten: "Will do."

Ness let out an awkward laugh, trying to mask the wave of embarrassment washing over him. Why did I say that? The thought echoed in his mind, his anxiety taking the reins and sending him into a spiral. I handled that so poorly. Ninten probably thinks I'm an idiot… or worse, that I'm an asshole.

His chest tightened as he braced for judgment, avoiding Ninten's gaze.

But then, to his surprise, Ninten beamed at him. His smile was warm, innocent, and full of understanding—completely free of judgment.

Ness blinked, the knot in his stomach loosening. Relief flooded through him like a calming wave. Maybe I can trust him, he thought, a genuine smile tugging at his lips for the first time that evening.

Ness: "Actually—there has been something going on with me."

Ninten: "Oh, what's that?"

Ness: "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

Ninten: "My lips are sealed."

Ness: "There's this girl…"

Ninten: *Gasps* "Whoa, really?"

Ness: "Yeah."

Ninten: "Oh my god! Who?"

Ness: "Her name is Tina. She's an inkling."

Ninten: "Whoa! What do you like about her?"

Ness: "Where do I even begin? She possesses an exceptional range of talents—her voice is ethereal, almost angelic when she sings, and her grace as a dancer is undeniable. Beyond her outward beauty, she exudes a warmth and understanding that makes everyone feel at ease. There's something uniquely magnetic about her; she has this effortless ability to connect with others, regardless of their background. Her sociability is a breath of fresh air, and what I admire most is how she always makes a point to include me in her plans. She has an incredible ability to make me feel valued, something I don't take for granted."

Ninten: "Wow, she sounds like an amazing person."

Ness: "She really is. Uh, sorry if I started ranting."

Ninten: "I can tell you're passionate from your complex vocab."

Ness: "S-sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a smart-ass."

Ninten: "Hahaha! Don't apologize. I think it's charming. I can always tell when you're really into it when you go into explicit detail. That means this woman really means a lot to you."

Ness: "She makes me happy."

Ninten: "Have you asked her out yet?"

Ness: "Well… Here's the thing. We uh—we…"

Ninten: "Slept together?"

Ness: "Yeah."

Ninten: "Oh wow."

Ness: "I'm pretty confident we're dating now, but a part of me doubts that it's real."

Ninten: "Well, she's always including you in her plans, and you two were intimate with each other. I'm sure she thinks the same as you."

Ness: "Really?"

Ninten: "Yes. But may I ask a question?"

Ness: "What is it?"

Ninten: "D-

Suddenly, Ninten's words were cut off as a shadow loomed over their booth and punched the table. Both Earthbound boys looked up, only to be met with the familiar sight of Pac-Man. He stood there, a cigarette dangling between his fingers, smoke curling upward. Without a word, he puffed the cigarette directly at their faces, the acrid scent stinging the air. His expression was a scowl, unamused, and his posture stiff with an undeniable air of confrontation.

Ninten: *Coughs* "H-hi, Pac-man."

Ness: *Coughs* "D-dude, c'mon."

Pac-man: "Whatcha doin' here at my bar?"

Ness: "We're hanging out? Is there a problem?"

Pac-man: "Yeah, there's a problem."

Ninten: "Oh. Uh, what's wrong?"

Pac-man: "I don't know which one of you's is Ness, but he gotta go."

Ness: "Excuse me? What did I do?"

Pac-man: "Ah, so the uglier one is Ness."

Ness: "Hey!"

Ninten: "Um, what's going on?"

Pac-man: "I know what you are. You're a fuckin' slut."

Ness: "Wwhat! No I'm not! All those videos are a lie."

Pac-man: "A lie, eh? Nah, I don't think so. Also, you're one of them bisexuals. I don't take too kindly with your kind."

Ness: "I'm sorry, wwhat!"

Pac-man: "I don't like the gays. You ain't welcome here."

Ness: "First of all, I'm not gay. Second, you're a bigot!"

The entire bar seemed to hold its breath. The usual hum of conversation died down, replaced by an eerie silence that hung in the air. Every eye was suddenly on Ness and Pac-Man, the tension thick as the two stood there in an unspoken standoff. The weight of the moment pressed down on them, with all eyes waiting to see what would happen next.

Pac-man: "You comin' here insulting me at my bar? Oh hell nah. Get the fuck out!"

Ness: "I genuinely pity those who have to endure working alongside someone as narrow-minded as you."

Pac-man: "Oh you wanna fight?"

Before Ness could respond, Ninten quickly interjected, his tone calm but firm. "No, sir. We apologize for any inconvenience. We'll be on our way."

Pac-Man sneered, his expression twisted with disdain as he stepped aside to let them pass. Ness bit his tongue, swallowing the retort burning at the back of his throat, and followed Ninten out of the establishment. The weight of Pac-Man's disgusted glare lingered on their backs until they were outside, the cool night air offering a small reprieve from the suffocating tension.

Ness: "I can't believe the nerve of that guy! How'd you keep calm like that?"

Ninten: "I'm good at keeping the peace."

Ness: "You're really mature."

Ninten: "Thanks. But if I'm being honest, I also wanted to knock his teeth in."

Ness: "Whoa, Ninten! What happened to keeping the peace? Hahaha!"

Ninten: "Can you blame me? He was being a total dick bag."

Ness: "Did you just curse?"

Ninten: "Fuck no."

Ness: "Hahaha! You're killing me."

Ninten: "I've never fucking cursed in my life!"

Ness: "Hahaha! Stop. Stop, my face hurts."

Ninten: "You seriously never heard me curse?"

Ness: "No."

Ninten: "Damn, we need to hang out more."

Ness: "Hahaha~ You're right. But despite you wanting to beat him up, you did better than what I was going to do. I was planning on giving him a piece of my mind."

Ninten: "I'm a little mature."

Ness: "More than me. That's for sure."

Ninten: "Well, I am older than you."

Ness: "Not by a lot."

Ninten: "Well anyway, let's go on a night walk and continue on our conversation."

Ness: "Right, you were going to ask me something?"

Ninten: "Yes. Did you directly ask her out?"

Ness: "N-no…"

Ninten: "Ah, that's why there's doubt."

Ness: "Y-yeah. I'm not sure."

Ninten: "Well sometimes when you're friends with someone, you don't necessarily ask if you two are friends. You just know you are by hanging out with them a lot, right?"

Ness: "Yeah."

Ninten: "Maybe it's like that with relationships too. I'm not the best person to ask because I've only been with Ana, and we straight up admitted to each other about our feelings."

Ness: "So, I don't have to worry?"

Ninten: "I don't think so, but don't quote me on that."

Ness: "I feel a lot better. Thank you, Ninten."

Ninten: "Haha! No worries. Glad I'm here to give you some comfort."

Ness: "It helped. Well anyway, I should head back. It's getting late."

Ninten: "Mkay. This was a good talk. I had a good time."

Ness: "Even the Pac-man part?"

Ninten: "Even the Pac-man part."

The two burst into laughter, the tension from earlier melting away. "I had a great time too," Ness said, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

"You better not try to flake on me next time," Ninten teased, pointing a playful finger at him.

Ness raised his hands in mock surrender, a grin spreading across his face. "I won't, I promise! No flaking, I swear."

Ninten: "I'll remember this."

Ness: "But yeah, sorry about Pac-man. I've been having bad luck with people recently."

Ninten: "It must be because of your allegations online. Which, I gotta say, it's odd that you're the one being talked about. It's usually popular smashers like Isabelle or Marth. Us Earthbound characters never get any attention."

Ness: "Ever since I came back from y'know, the whole calamity, I've been the new celebrity."

Ninten: "Hey, must be nice though."

Ness: "No."

Ninten: "Not even a lil?"

Ness: "Not even a little."

Ninten: "Damn, I'm sorry."

Ness: "I mean, would you have liked being constantly harassed by people while you're out doing your own thing."

Ninten: "Maybe in the beginning, but it would get old fast."

Ness: "Exactly."

Ninten: "Man, sorry this is happening to you."

Ness: "It's—fine. I'm just coasting along at this point."

Ninten: "Snake is really after you."

Ness: "I know. I hate him."

Ninten: "Why not beat him up a few pegs."

Ness: "I can't even find him. He's never in his room."

Ninten: "Try waiting outside his door."

Ness: "That's what another friend told me to do too."

Ninten: "It feels like the only way."

Ness: "Yeah, you're probably right."

Ninten: "Well anyway, see ya later."

Ness: "See ya."

The two parted ways, waving each other off as they headed in opposite directions. When Ness made it back home, he sank into his gaming chair, leaning back with a heavy sigh. Closing his eyes, he let the silence of the room envelop him, taking a moment to catch his breath.

Hanging out with Ninten had gone better than he'd expected, but it had still drained him. He allowed himself this brief solitude, his thoughts drifting to Tina.

Once he felt somewhat recharged, he glanced out the window. That's strange. Sonic usually barges in by now. He scratched his chin, furrowing his brows. Maybe he has other plans tonight. Wait, why do I even care? It's not like I actually enjoy him crashing my place uninvited.

Knock!

Knock!

Ness groaned and got up from his seat. That's probably Sonic, he reasoned with himself. "Coming," he said, with an annoyed tired voice. However, as his hand touched the doorknob, he hesitated. Wait a minute, Sonic never goes through the front door.

Knock!

Knock!

He flinched from the sudden sound. "Hello? Ness?" A woman's voice called out. Confusion was all he could feel as he tried to decipher who that voice belonged to. He looked through the peephole and saw that it was Mrs. Pac-man?!