Estimated Reading Time: 30 Minutes

.

NES

Ness blinked a few times as he pulled the door open, his eyes adjusting to the sight before him. Mrs. Pac-Man stood on the doorstep, arms crossed, her round frame casting a shadow from the hallway lights. A pair of sleek sunglasses rested on her face, the dark lenses concealing whatever expression she wore beneath them.

Ness: "Uh, hi, Mrs. Pac-man. What can I—do for you?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Hi, Ness. I wanted to see how you were doing."

Ness: "I'm doing fine."

Mrs. Pac-man: "I just wanted to apologize on behalf of my husband. He can be a jerk sometimes."

Ness: "I wish he would say it to my face, but thanks I guess."

Mrs. Pac-man: "He's a stubborn man, he never admits that he's wrong unfortunately."

Ness: "How do you stand that guy?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "It's not easy."

Ness: "Why're you with him then?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "We had an arranged marriage. I can't leave even if I wanted to. Plus we have kids together. If we separate, our kids would suffer."

Ness: "I'm sorry to hear that. Well, anyway I should-

Mrs. Pac-man: "Oh Ness, you were so brave speaking up to my husband like that."

Ness: "Well, he was insulting me. I wasn't going to just sit there and take it."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Raven's Coven is a popular bar. Most people wouldn't dare talk back to Pac-man."

Ness: "Eh, the bar was mid at best."

Mrs. Pac-man: "When I saw you arguing with my husband, I couldn't help but think how cool you were~"

Ness: "Um, t-thanks."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Despite your physique, you're pretty manly~"

Ness: "Uh, okay, thank you I think?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Your authority was so strong."

Ness: "Haha… Okay, um, thanks for the compliments, Mrs. Pac-man, but I have something to do."

As Ness started to push the door shut, Mrs. Pac-Man suddenly waved her arms, her movements frantic.

"Wait! Can I come in?" she begged, her voice carrying a desperate edge.

Ness averted his eyes, wincing as the request itself made him uncomfortable. His grip on the door tightened, hesitation flickering across his face.

Ness: "Why do you want to come in?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "There's something I have to show you."

Ness: "Can't you show me out here? Does it have to be in my room?"

Mrs. Pac-Man slowly removed her sunglasses, revealing swollen, dark-purple bruises beneath her eyes. The harsh contrast against her usually cheerful face sent a jolt through Ness's chest.

His breath hitched, and his eyes widened in shock. He raised his hands to his mouth, his stomach twisting at the sight.

Ness: "Oh my god!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Can I please come in?"

Ness: "Y-yeah."

Ness quickly stepped aside, allowing Mrs. Pac-Man to shuffle into his room. The moment the door clicked shut, he dropped to one knee without hesitation, his hands glowing with a soft, green light.

As he pressed his fingertips gently to her bruised eyes, the warmth of PK Lifeup pulsed through her, mending the damage in an instant. The swelling faded, the deep purple discoloration vanishing as if it had never been there.

"There, all better," Ness said, looking up at her with a reassuring smile, though a hint of concern still lingered in his eyes.

Mrs. Pac-man: "Oh my~ How did you do that?"

Ness: "Psychic."

Mrs. Pac-man: "All you smashers got some lovely incredible powers."

Ness: "Thanks. Um, what happened? Did Pac-man do that?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Yeah. We got into an argument when we came back home."

Ness: "I'm so sorry to hear that."

Mrs. Pac-man: "It was about you actually."

Ness: "Me? Why?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "I didn't like how he treated you. He never kicked anyone out like that before. I thought it was terrible."

Ness: "Gee, Mrs. Pac-man, I appreciate you vouching for me, but you didn't have to do that."

Mrs. Pac-man: "I wanted to. You're the first that's ever been blunt with him."

Ness: "Really?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "I got mad at him and told him to never treat you like that again."

Ness: "You spoke up and he hit you?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Here. Let me start from the beginning."

.

Flashback

Pac-Man sat slouched on the couch, lazily scrolling through his phone while Mrs. Pac-Man sat beside him, equally unengaged. Their home felt unusually quiet, the hum of the television doing little to fill the boredom.

As he flicked through his social media feed, his expression darkened. More allegations about Ness flooded his screen—wild accusations, exaggerated claims, and people debating his character like they knew him personally.

Pac-Man let out a frustrated sigh and kept scrolling, only to be met with another wave of comments. This time, they weren't about the allegations but about Ness's personal life. Rumors swirled that he was gay, with some claiming he had recently hooked up with Lucas.

Pac-man: "How disgusting."

Mrs. Pac-man: "I know. These comments are wild."

Pac-man: "I knew he was a gay fag."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Does that bother you?"

Pac-man: "Hell yeah it does. He's popular now. What if he goes around teaching the youngins that it's okay to be gay? He's going to ruin our future generation."

Mrs. Pac-man: "I think our children are safe. We teach them well."

Pac-man: "I swear to god if I ever find out my son is gay, I'm gonna beat the fuck outta him."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Oh dear…"

Pac-man: "And don't you dare get in my way!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Please don't hurt our children."

Pac-man: "Are you questioning my parenting?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "N-no. I'm sorry, Pac-man."

Pac-man: "Tch! Women… y'all are too emotional."

Mrs. Pac-man: "I'm sorry…"

Pac-Man's scrolling grew more aggressive, his frustration bubbling up with each passing comment. Finally, he tossed his phone onto the couch with a grunt.

"Fuck this! I'm bored. I'm gonna head to my bar and get drunk," he announced, pushing himself to his feet.

Before Mrs. Pac-Man could react, he grabbed her arm and yanked her up with little regard for gentleness.

"Aaah!" she whined, stumbling slightly as she was hoisted off the couch.

"C'mon, woman. We're going together. Someone's gotta drive me back home," he grumbled, already leading her toward the door.

With no real choice in the matter, she sighed and followed. Moments later, they were in the car, heading straight for Raven's Coven, the neon-lit bar awaiting them in the distance.

As Pac-Man and his wife stepped through the doors of Raven's Coven, the familiar neon glow bathed them in shades of violet and crimson. The steady hum of chatter and clinking glasses filled the air as his employees turned to greet him.

Pac-Man barely acknowledged them, making a beeline for the bar counter. As he stepped behind it, he immediately noticed something off. His usual bartender was missing.

"What the hell? Where's my bartender?" he grumbled, scanning the room.

His eyes darted around until they landed on a familiar figure—Dark Pit. But instead of manning the bar like he was supposed to, he was over at Ness's table, chatting.

Pac-Man leaned against the counter, arms crossed, his foot tapping impatiently as he watched Dark Pit linger at Ness's table. His irritation only grew as the seconds ticked by.

Finally, the dark-winged angel strolled back behind the bar, unfazed as he grabbed a glass and casually started wiping it down.

Pac-Man didn't wait a second longer. "What the hell were you doin'?" he snapped, his voice cutting through the lively atmosphere.

Dark Pit barely spared him a glance, tossing the rag over his shoulder. "Talking," he said flatly.

Pac-Man's eye twitched. "Talking? You're my bartender. You gotta stay right here!"

Dark Pit rolled his eyes, unfazed by Pac-Man's outburst, and continued wiping down a wine bottle with exaggerated slowness.

Pac-Man growled under his breath, his gaze narrowing at the table across the room. Ness was sitting there, but the other person beside him—who looked exactly like him—had his full attention. The two were nearly identical, with the same messy hairstyle and, annoyingly, the same damn cap perched on their heads.

Pac-Man's frown deepened as the confusion gnawed at him. Which one's Ness? His headache was already starting to pound, and his patience wore thin.

"Whateva," he muttered under his breath. "I'm kickin' both of their gay asses out."

Without missing a beat, Pac-Man's heavy footsteps reverberated through the bar, drawing the attention of anyone within earshot. The two boys flinched in sync as he slammed his fist onto their table, rattling their drinks.

He leaned in close, puffing a thick cloud of smoke directly in their faces, and casually flicked the cigarette between his fingers. The air grew heavy with tension as the two boys coughed, their faces twisting with discomfort.

One of them, his voice tentative, spoke first. "H-hi, Pac-Man."

The other shot him a glare, his brows furrowing in clear annoyance. "D-dude, c'mon," he muttered, his tone edged with frustration, clearly not happy with Pac-Man's dramatic entrance.

From Mrs. Pac-Man's vantage point, the tension in the air was palpable as the argument unfolded before her. She quietly stepped closer, drawn by the heated exchange between her husband and the two boys. Pac-Man was clearly upset, he was determined to kick them out, and she overheard snippets of the conversation.

As she moved closer, her gaze shifted between the two boys. Ah, so the one with the fluffier hair must be Ness, she thought, noticing the fiery determination in his eyes as he argued back. The other boy, with spiked hair, seemed less inclined to argue, looking more frustrated than anything else. That must be Ninten, she realized.

Ness's words were fierce, his body tense with the fight. Mrs. Pac-Man couldn't tear her eyes away from him. His anger, the way he gritted his teeth—it was all so... captivating. There was a rawness in his intensity that she found strangely magnetic. She caught herself comparing him to her husband, and the thought lingered in her mind longer than she expected. Ness was far more handsome, in a way that made her heart beat a little faster. Despite his twink physique, he had a certain manliness to him that made her question just how much she admired her husband after all.

Eventually, the two boys left, and with them, the last trace of Mrs. Pac-Man's brief obsession. As they disappeared from view, she felt a sinking disappointment. Her eye candy was gone, and she couldn't help but feel frustrated that she wouldn't be able to watch Ness's captivating anger anymore.

The rest of the night passed in a haze as she watched her husband drink more than he should have, his state of drunkenness creeping in fast. When the time came, she drove them both back home, her mood growing darker with every mile.

When they finally got home, Pac-Man flopped down onto the couch, clearly in no mood to talk. But Mrs. Pac-Man wasn't having it. Standing in front of the TV, her hands were firmly placed on her hips, her stance confident as she glared down at him.

"You," she began, her voice sharp, "embarrassed me tonight."

Pac-man: "Shut up, woman."

Mrs. Pac-man: "No! I can't believe you kicked them out like that."

Pac-man: "I don't like them gays. You know this!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "That's terrible. Also, I'm pretty sure Ness isn't gay. You're just dumb and believe every rumor you see on the internet."

Mrs. Pac-Man stood her ground, meeting his gaze without flinching. The air in the room grew heavy, thick with tension, as her husband's anger sparked to life. He rose from the couch, his voice venomous as he took a step toward her.

"What did you just call me?" he snarled, his eyes narrowing in a glare that could burn through steel.

For a moment, Mrs. Pac-Man stood frozen, feeling the weight of his fury. But instead of backing down, she lifted her chin, holding onto the assertiveness that had driven her to confront him in the first place.

Mrs. Pac-man: "I said you're dumb for believing the lies."

Pac-man: "Don't you dare talk to me like that!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "!"

Pac-man: "You've never once spoken to me like this. Why do you care about that gay fag anyway?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "He seems like a sweet gentleman unlike you!"

Pac-man: "Oh, so you tryin' to ride his dick now, eh?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "No! I'm saying that he's a nicer person than you!"

Pac-man: "Yeah? You wanna fuck him so badly?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "No!"

Pac-man: "Why I oughta…"

The scene shifted as Pac-Man, fueled by anger, reached out and punched his wife right on the eye. Mrs. Pac-Man's staggered back covering her face with her big gloved hand.

He shoved her viciously, and with a second punch to the other eye, she fell to the floor, sending sharp pain signals coursing through her face.

The weight of the situation hung heavy in the air, every word Pac-man had shouted reverberating in her mind. She sat there, stunned and silent, the pain of her husband's anger sinking in. The realization hit her all at once—she shouldn't have spoken. It was too risky, and seeing her husband's face, twisted with pain and frustration, made her wish she could take everything back.

Her breath hitched, and for a moment, she couldn't find the right words to apologize. But she knew she had to try. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered, her voice breaking.

Pac-Man spat on the floor, his eyes shooting a glare before he stormed off to their room. She sat still for a moment, gathering her scattered thoughts, before following him to bed. He was already fast asleep, but she lay wide awake, staring at the ceiling, her mind heavy with frustration. Her life felt suffocating, and a yearning pulled at her. If only I were with someone else... someone kinder, maybe a little nerdy, with a dorky smile but a quiet strength—someone like Ness.

She slipped out of bed, her feet hitting the cold floor as she crossed to her closet. Pulling on a mini skirt and sunglasses, she strode out of the room with purpose. The mansion's halls felt endless, each door marked with a smasher's name. She scanned her floor, but Ness's name was nowhere to be found. Frustrated, she headed for the elevator, pressing a lower floor. After a few moments, the doors opened. She scanned through the doors and there it was—his name, just as she'd hoped.

End Of Flashback

.

Ness: "I can't believe he beat you. What an asshole! I'm so sorry…"

Mrs. Pac-man: "It's okay. I'm used to it."

Ness: "You shouldn't be used to it. That's abuse!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Thanks for bein' so kind to me, Ness. It's nice to see you get fired up for lil ol' me."

Ness: "I'm doing the bare-minimum. Don't thank me for that. Nobody should lay their hands on their partner."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Gee, Ness. I really appreciate you for carin' for me. It's refreshing to see a man like you."

Ness: "Oh, uh, haha... Thanks... Um, but if you want, we can contact the guards and report him."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Oh that won't be necessary."

Ness: "Why not? He's abusing you."

Mrs. Pac-man: "He's still my husband."

Ness: "But he's a bad person."

Mrs. Pac-man: "He is, but I need him."

Ness: "Why?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "It's for the kids."

Ness: "My dad left me at a young age, and I turned out fine."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Yeah you did~"

Ness: "Um, why're you giving me that look?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Ya know, Ness, you and I don't talk much. How about we take this time to get to know each other~"

Ness: "Uh…"

Mrs. Pac-man: *Giggles* "You're right. I shouldn't be with a man who abuses me."

Ness: "Y-yeah."

Mrs. Pac-man: "If I do leave Pac-man, the kids will be traumatized. Unless…"

Ness: "Unless what?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Maybe you could take over~"

Ness: "I beg your finest pardon?!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Your father left you. You should understand how detrimental that would be for my kids."

Ness: "W-what're you saying to me right now?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Maybe you and I could… I dunno, figure things out."

Ness: "Mrs. Pac-man with all due respect I—oh my god!"

Mrs. Pac-man lifted up her miniskirt revealing her lady parts. Ness stumbled back, his face turning bright red as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Mrs. Pac-Man!" he yelped in utter embarrassment, his voice cracking.

Mrs. Pac-man: "Do you like what you see~?"

Ness: "N-no! Put that away!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Aww c'mon, my husband doesn't have to know~"

Ness: "No! G-get out!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Ness, please. I really like you."

Ness: "Why?!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "You're just so manly, sweet, and handsome."

Ness: "Oh my god, why does this keep happening to me? Please get out."

Ness kept his hands tightly over his eyes, desperately trying to block out the situation. He didn't see it coming when Mrs. Pac-Man suddenly pushed him onto the bed. "Aah!" he cried out, the air knocked out of him as he collided with the mattress.

Ness's eyes shot open in shock as he looked up, finding Mrs. Pac-Man hovering above him. His breath caught in his throat as she gave him a seductive look, biting her lip, her gaze never leaving his.

"Hey, Cheddar Biscuit, what's-

Ness and Mrs. Pac-Man froze, both turning toward the window. There stood Sonic, his jaw dropped in disbelief as he took in the scene—Mrs. Pac-Man on top of Ness. "Sonic! T-this isn't what it looks like!" Ness stammered, flailing his hand in defense. Sonic simply blinked, his expression unreadable. "Nope," he said, with a shrug, before jumping out of the window in a blur.

"Sonic, wait! Oh, goddammit!" Ness groaned, pushing Mrs. Pac-Man off him with frustration. He sat up, rubbing his temples as he shot her an exasperated look. "See what you did?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "My biggest concern is why did Sonic of all people come through your window?"

Ness: "Nevermind that! Mrs. Pac-man, I'm sorry about your abusive husband, but you need to leave."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Please Ness. Give me a chance. I can make you feel good."

Ness: "Oh my god! This has got to be the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me."

Mrs. Pac-man: "I want to have sex so bad."

Ness: "Do that with your husband."

Mrs. Pac-man: "No, he's abusive remember?"

Ness: "Do it with somebody else!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "I want you to fuck me."

Ness: "No! It's a no. Get out."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Ness, don't do this. I can be perfect for you. I'll cook and do your laundry. I'll be the perfect wife!"

Ness: "We're not even the same species! How would we work?!"

Mrs. Pac-man: "It doesn't matter. I still have a vagina."

Ness pressed his hand to his mouth, his stomach twisting in disbelief. He felt a wave of nausea rise within him as he struggled to process what he had just heard. "I can't... believe this," he muttered under his breath, his mind racing.

Mrs. Pac-man: "I wonder if we could have kids. What would they look like?"

Ness: "I-I think I'm gonna throw up."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Sorry am I moving too fast?"

Ness: "Please I beg of you, get out."

Mrs. Pac-man: "Are you scared? Have you never done it before? You are quite young. I can teach you. There's no need to be nervous. I'm a patient classy lady~"

Ness: "Y'know what, I tried to be nice, but I'm done."

With a flick of his wrist, Ness used his psychic powers to open the door, then levitated Mrs. Pac-Man out of the room. He slammed the door shut behind her, locking it with a heavy click. Her desperate bangs echoed from the other side, her sobs muffled but clear. "Let me back in! Please, Ness! You can't just throw me away like this!" she cried, her voice trembling with distress.

Ness ran a hand through his bangs, groaning in frustration. She'll leave eventually, right? he thought, but after ten minutes of relentless banging, he realized he was wrong. The noise showed no signs of stopping. Sighing, he pulled out his phone, dialing the guards' number.

[- Smash Police Department

Dispatcher: "Hello? What's your emergency?"

Ness: "Yes, hello. This is Ness, a smasher. I need you to get to room four on floor five. There's a lady banging on my door and she won't leave."

Dispatcher: "Do you know the person?"

Ness: "It's Mrs. Pac-man."

Dispatcher: "Are you kidding me?"

Ness: "No. Please send someone right away. She's been banging on my door for the past ten minutes."

Dispatcher: "Aren't you the psychic kid?"

Ness: "What does that have to do with anything?"

Dispatcher: "Just handle her yourself. I thought it was an actual dangerous person."

Ness: "Are you being serious right now?"

Dispatcher: "Just use your psychic powers to throw her away."

Ness: *Scoffs* "I don't want to use violence against her. Besides, she can just come back."

Dispatcher: "Did you tell her to go away?"

Ness: "What do you think?!"

Dispatcher: "I don't like your attitude. Figure this out on your own, dick!"

Ness: "Attitude? I'm only giving you attitude because you won't do your job right! Y'know what, I want to speak to your manager."

Dispatcher: "Nah, fuck you."

Ness: "Wow, I can't believe-

Beep!

…

Ness stood there, stunned, unable to believe what had just happened to him. The dispatcher had been rude, but at this point, calling again seemed pointless. Mrs. Pac-Man's persistent banging was only heightening his frustration. With a growl, he yanked the door open, his anger flaring—only to freeze when he saw her. There she was, on her knees, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Ness: "Stop. Stop this right now."

Mrs. Pac-man: *Sobs* "Please don't leave me."

Ness clenched his jaw, rubbing his temples as his patience wore thin. "I told you no! Please, just leave me alone!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the hall. Mrs. Pac-Man's sobs only grew louder, her body trembling as she wept even harder.

"Oh my god," Ness took out his phone again, scrolling through his contacts hoping somebody could get him out of this predicament. He saw Tina's name and immediately shot her text. If Mrs. Pac-man sees my girlfriend, she'll definitely give up.

[- Tina

DM

Ness: I need help.

Tina: o shit wit wat

Ness: Mrs. Pac-man is at my door.

Tina: wtf

Ness: It's a long story. Can you please come and help me?

Tina: shit ok im omw

Ness: Thank you!

…

Mrs. Pac-Man continued to wail, pleading for Ness to let her in, but he remained firm, his repeated refusals unwavering. Her cries filled the hallway, relentless and desperate—until another figure arrived. Tina. At the sight of her, Mrs. Pac-Man's sobs grew softer, her breathing hitching as she tried to regain control.

Tina: "Yo, what's goin' on?"

Mrs. Pac-man: "Ness and I had a fight and he won't let me in."

Ness: "She's trying to sleep with me. I told her no, and she won't leave me alone."

Tina's eyes darted between Ness and Mrs. Pac-Man, quickly picking up on his distress. Without hesitation, she stepped between them, placing herself like a barrier. Her presence was firm, unwavering, as she faced the weeping yellow figure.

Tina: "He said to leave him alone. Beat it or else it's gonna get real nasty."

Mrs. Pac-man: "What're you gonna do, huh? Hit me?"

Tina: "Yeah."

Mrs. Pac-man: "B-but I'm a woman!"

Tina: "So am I, bitch."

Mrs. Pac-man: "I'm more classy and weaker. You can't just hit me."

Tina: "I don't give a fuck about you."

Mrs. Pac-Man started to sweat, sensing the Inkling wasn't messing around. She screams delinquent and ratchet, she thought bitterly. But if that bitch tried anything, maybe she could use it to her advantage. Play the victim. Ness had felt sorry for her before—his guilt flaring when he saw her with two black eyes. Surely, he'd take her side again… right?

Mrs. Pac-man: "Give me your worst, you delinquent."

Tina: "Oh I see what you're doin'."

Mrs. Pac-man: "And what's that, sweetheart?"

Tina: "A'ight, she wanna play victim now. She ain't gonna fight back, trynna make me the villain."

Ness: "It's not going to work, Mrs. Pac-man."

Tina: "Bitch, I'mma start recordin' ya. I got lots of fans who'll cancel your ass."

Tina casually pulled out her phone, angling the camera toward Mrs. Pac-Man. The yellow creature's eyes widened in panic. She froze, her mind scrambling for a way out. Shit. The Inkling had seen right through her act. Humiliation burned through her as she realized—there was no way to spin this in her favor now.

Tears poured down Mrs. Pac-Man's face, even more than before. Realizing she had lost, she shot up from her knees and bolted down the hallway, disappearing from sight. Ness and Tina stood there in stunned silence before exchanging a look of pure disbelief.

Tina: "What the fuck happened?"

Ness: "She knocked on my door and showed up with two black eyes."

Tina: "She probably told you her husband did it."

Ness: "She did."

Tina: "Bruh, that's the oldest trick in the book. She obviously lied to get in your pants."

Ness: "I don't think she'd go out of her way to give herself two black eyes."

Tina: "Who knows. Bitches do be crazy."

Ness: "Wow, this has been a night."

Tina: "Haha! Yeah, I'm just glad that bitch is gone."

Ness: "Same. Never would've thought Mrs. Pac-man of all people would try to sleep with me. Like that's fucking bizarre, right?"

Tina: "Only you, Ness. I swear, shit like this only happens to you."

Ness: "I know… make it stop."

Tina: "Well, now that she's gone, and I'm still here, wanna fuck in your room?"

Ness: "Wwhat!"

Tina: "We've only done it in my room. C'mon, let's have fun here~"

Ness: "R-really?"

Tina: "Ya dude. Let's fuck~"

Ness: "O-okay!"