Fifteen
The monitors surrounding Lister's unconscious form occasionally beeped and chirped, but the only indicator of life Rimmer trusted was the steady rise and fall of Lister's slightly-overweight chest.
Rimmer realised with a sick irony how now the roles were reversed, for he was the one perched anxiously at the bedside, wringing his hands every time an alarm went off or Lister twitched. He found himself thinking back to when Lister contracted the mutated virus and caused fish to rain inside the ship. What he wouldn't give now to see some raining fish.
He was grateful Kryten was able to instruct him in rejoining his head and body, for he knew so little about wiring and cables that he couldn't make a simple friendship bracelet, let alone repair a sophisticated bogbot. The second that the connections between Kryten's head and body were restored, he sped off to the medbay and set about investigating the damage Lister had sustained.
The droid had proclaimed that there would be no permanent damage to the third technician, though he would have a headache far worse than any hangover could produce. "It may be some time before he wakes, sir, so I'd suggest you stop impatiently tapping your foot before you wear a hole through the floor." Kryten had noted. "His head got whacked around more than a piñata at a kid's birthday party."
Before the hologram could gesture to ask Kryten to check on his prognosis, the droid had already departed the medbay, muttering about how many buckets of bleach he would need to scrub the cockpit with. Rimmer snorted angrily, but decided he didn't have the energy to run after the sanitation droid with a mute tongue flapping around. Nice to know you care about your senior officer, miladdo.
A weak sigh from Lister brought him out of his bitter state. He instinctively sat up in his chair, observing the younger man with newfound hope. Come on, Listy, you've got to wake up so you can tell Kryten to unmute me!
Oh, and I hope you're not brain dead, of course. That too.
To his disappointment, Lister's body relaxed as he resettled into the warm embrace of unconsciousness, once again lost to the world.
Rimmer folded his arms in irritation. This better not take long, Listy. I've got a whole pile of OH reports to write about this little 'adventure'.
Listy, for God's sake, six hours is more than long enough…
Rimmer had given up retaining the consistent position at Lister's bedside, instead reverting to a good old-fashioned pace around the medbay, hands tucked behind his back as he bit his lip impatiently. Kryten had only checked in once since his initial assessment, again ignoring the hologram's attempts to ask about his muteness. If Lister wasn't so badly injured, I would say the ignorance was almost intentional.
He was grateful that the Cat hadn't bothered to stop by; he wasn't sure he could stand looking at the moggy after what he'd said in Starbug's cockpit, let alone even lay eyes on him at this point. I wonder if anyone would notice if he suddenly turned into a cat-skinned wind cheater?
One of the monitors began to alarm, drawing his attention back to the present. Lister suddenly inhaled deeply, his eyes flickering open with evident confusion. He tried pushing himself upright, only for his arms to buckle under his weight, and he collapsed back into the pillow with a groan.
Lister! Rimmer immediately dashed to his side, his face brightening in the process. Listy, it's me!
"…Rimmer?" Lister's voice was slightly hoarse. His eyes scanned up and down the hologram, his brow furrowing. "But…but it…Ace-"
Rimmer cut him off with a shake of his head. He pointed at himself and gave Lister a wink. I think you mean 'yours truly'.
"Seriously? That was you?" Lister couldn't help the sniggering that escaped him. "Smeggin' hell, Rimmer, you really are full of surprises."
The human gave him a grateful smile before his eyes widened. "Rimmer, your uniform!"
Cocking an eyebrow, Rimmer looked down before almost jumping with surprise. He'd completely forgotten about his uniform until he eyeballed the familiar royal blue fabric, the material almost sparkling in the crisp light of the medbay. He ran his fingers along the hem before hesitantly reaching out, his expression lightening as he felt the cold plastic of the medbed's mattress with every part of his hands.
It was as though a weight had fallen off his shoulders, and he allowed himself to grin with excitement. I can touch, I can feel!
"Rimmer, you can touch again!" Lister's smile was almost as wide as the hologram's. "That must mean Kryton's diagnostic thingy is almost done, yeah?"
Giving an enthusiastic nod, Rimmer took off in the direction of the projection unit, his delight only growing as he heard his own footfalls echo around the corridor. Kryten, you better be ready by now, or you're going to be cleaning a lot of toilets in the immediate future…