Back at the house, the discussions had become more formal and directed.
Maps were spread out across the dining room table, showing all of the Pacific Northwest. Someone had placed marks at certain points, but Bella wasn't sure what they meant.
Everyone but Carmen was standing around the room, but someone was murmuring quietly upstairs, as if into a phone.
"Bella, Edward, wonderful. We could use your help." Carlisle looked up as they joined the group.
"What's going on?" Bella asked.
"We are discussing where to go from here."
Bella looked automatically at Alice, who was already watching her with pursed lips and hard eyes. She knew exactly where to go from here. There was only one way to stop Jamie from hurting the Cullens. Alice knew, of course, and knew she had never truly changed her mind about what had to be done.
"It's the only way, Alice."
"It won't work. Look who you're talking to. You've had your mind made up since this all happened, and I've only seen it ending one way."
"But you'd be safe." Bella looked around the room, at people she had come to care so deeply for. "That's all that matters now."
"Not anymore," Alice said, and Bella snapped her attention back to her.
"What do you mean?"
"You might not have changed your mind, but Jamie has. He's a little pissed off, you know, since you kicked him off a cliff. It's not a retrieval mission anymore. He wants revenge."
Bella's teeth ground together.
"So, he wants me dead. If that is what will save you-"
"Bella, stop it," Alice growled. "I might be able to see his next move, but you know him better than anyone here. You don't need premonition to know what he'll do."
She was right, Bella realized. As soon as the Cullens had protected her, they had earned his ire, as well. He would see it as them stealing her from him, his favorite toy. And not a chance in hell he would let that slide.
"If all of my ideas are shit, then, what are some thatwillwork?"
"We don't know yet. Jamie hasn't decided how to proceed, but we know there are no imminent plans. So for now, we wait. And plan for the most likely scenarios," Jasper explained.
"We have all of the advantages, Bella," Carlisle said. "We are a large, gifted coven. This is our territory, and we know it well. And we have friends that are willing to help."
Eleazar nodded at this, but Bella shook her head.
"I don't want more people having to get involved in my mess. It's bad enough that I dragged the rest of you into it."
"We want to help, Bella. The Cullens are family. And like Carlisle said, we have all the advantages." Eleazar had a calming voice, much like Carlisle's.
Bella remained silent while they continued their discussions about terrain, whether it would be a better option to head north and draw them up to Alaska, whether or not to warn the Quileutes.
"I think we should hold off on involving them, at least until we know what Jamie is planning." Jasper's voice was tinted with a hint of dislike, and Bella knew he'd prefer to handle it without asking the tribe for assistance. She couldn't help but agree with him.
"Bella, what can you tell us about Jamie that might be helpful?" Carlisle asked.
Bella took a moment to think. While it was very faint, there was still some remnant of a desire to protect Jamie. It had been her job for several months, it had defined the very beginning of her vampire life. But then she remembered how he had hit Esme, and all desire to protect him vanished.
"He's paranoid, even about the others in his coven. He's never trusted Xavi, who has some subtle compulsion ability. He won't go into a fight unless he is sure he'll win. Which is why he probably turned tail; there are too many unknown variables here. He'll wait until he knows what he's dealing with," Bella replied.
"That's why he kept you, right? To shield him from Xavi?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes."
"Can I ask you about your shield, Bella?" Eleazar asked, and Bella nodded, a little confused.
"Eleazar has a sense for gifts. His insight could be useful," Carlisle explained.
Bella answered all his questions, first about its manifestation while she was still human, how she could expand it to shield others, how far out she could push it.
"Once I am familiar with someone's presence under my shield, I can recognize them. I used it yesterday to know where Jamie was and to make sure Esme got away without being intercepted," she said.
"Almost like radar." Eleazar seemed fascinated, his eyes fixed on her.
"I suppose. That was the first time I've used it like that, though."
"Have you ever tried to remove the shield from yourself?"
Bella cringed away from the idea automatically.
"Why would I want to do that?" she asked.
"Well, typically I don't have to ask so many questions to get a sense for someone's gift, I can just see it. But you are blocking me. It would be interesting to see the shield for myself, but you'd have to try to remove it."
"I could try." Bella sounded doubtful.
She closed her eyes, easily finding that mental rubber band, as she liked to think of it. It was currently only around her, tight and clinging. It felt impossible to try to move it off completely.
She tried for several minutes, but it didn't seem to want to budge. Finally, she opened her eyes and found them all watching her.
"I'm sorry," she said, looking at Eleazar. "It's even harder to try to remove it than it was to extend it the first time."
"You had to learn to shield others? It wasn't automatic?"
"It felt impossible at first. Getting around the self-preservation instinct was key."
"How did you manage to do that?" Eleazar asked with almost clinical interest.
Bella smiled humorlessly. The memory of the pain was as clear as it would be for the rest of her existence.
"Jamie made sure I knew that learning to shield him and self-preservation were one and the same."
None of them looked particularly comfortable with that explanation.
"I learned pretty quickly that way, though. So if it's important for you to—"
"That won't be necessary," Eleazar interjected quickly. "I think I have a good idea what we're working with. Maybe practice when you have the chance, though."
"How about Leanne?" Rosalie asked, speaking for the first time.
"She's a tracker, but she wasn't able to track me. Or, at least, that's what she said. Obviously she found a way."
"So you're telling me that this Jamie had compulsion, a tracker, a shield, and a newborn army on his side?" Eleazar asked, incredulous.
"Yes."
"How did he not own half of the south?"
Bella smiled to herself, remembering all the ways Jamie got in his own way.
"Jamie is very smart. But he's his own worst enemy sometimes. He was paranoid about Xavi manipulating him, about his coven plotting against him, about the Volturi intervening and finding Xavi and me. He was unforgiving if he thought we were being too noticeable, too careless. He didn't want to make any moves unless he was sure he would win. And when he feels he's been wronged, he'll stop at nothing to get revenge."
They were silent for a beat, then Jasper said, "Good. We can use that against him."
"We need something he isn't counting on. Something he won't be expecting," Bella said.
"We have several," Carlisle said, nodding at Jasper, Alice, and Edward.
There wasn't much more to discuss with the information they had.
Carmen and Eleazar decided to head back up to Denali and fully inform the sisters of what was going on. As soon as Alice saw anything, they would be prepared to come back down to help.
"It was a pleasure to meet you, Bella." Carmen had a kind face, and she warmly embraced her before leaving.
"I look forward to our future meetings." Eleazar clasped her hand in both of his before following his wife out the door.
They tried to return to some semblance of normalcy, but it was not an easy task. The back windows remained shuttered, darkening the usually bright and open house.
Alice and Edward went to school, Carlisle went to work, Rosalie and Emmett planned their upcoming wedding, Jasper tried to teach Bella to be a less miserable chess player, Esme found a new room to tear apart.
But there was always an underlying tension; they were all waiting for the inevitable.
Jasper thought it a good idea to continue the combat lessons, but to include other members of the family, as well. It was like their sparring games, but more intense.
These were Bella's second favorite parts of the day. It was so much better than just waiting around. She even helped Jasper lead these, being the next most experienced fighter in the family, even if she was still a distant second.
It went on like this for weeks, and Bella was almost losing her mind waiting for news. It didn't help that they couldn't go on their typical long-range hunting trips. They were all staying closer to home, taking extra precautions, which meant no mountain lions were on the menu anymore.
Bella's favorite part of the day, however, was when Edward would come home from school. It had become routine that the two of them would go for a run alone and spend the afternoon in his meadow.
The first time she had seen it, she had lost her breath. Thankfully, she didn't need to breathe.
"It's where I like to come," Edward had said. "Sometimes, the thoughts… even of my family, they just… become too much. When I'm here, it's just me."
Bella had looked at him, standing there in the field of wildflowers and sunlight, so beautiful and looking oddly vulnerable. She realized he was sharing something special with her, something intimate.
She couldn't put into words how touched she was. It was shocking to her to realize how her feelings for Edward had grown. They had almost appeared without her even noticing. She wanted to touch him, to talk to him, to hear every thought he had.
They had come to the meadow every day after that.
Bella had hoped that he would initiate their physical relationship, but he seemed careful to ensure the opposite, never even brushing hands. After being rejected once, she was hesitant to try again herself, but she felt it was getting a little ridiculous.
"So," she started, turning her head to eye him. They were laying in the middle of the meadow, a light mist in the air, the cloud cover making everything gray. No matter how many times she looked at him, it seemed he got more and more beautiful every time.
"So," he repeated, smiling, his eyes closed.
"Are you ever going to man up or do I have to make the first move again?"
His eyes snapped open, the smile wiped off his face. Bella held her breath.
"Do you want me to?" He asked.
Bella rolled her eyes, letting her irritation get the better of her.
"You know, I don't remember a whole lot from my human life. Barely anything at all, actually. I don't remember what my favorite book was, or if I liked pineapple on my pizza, or even what my stepdad's voice sounds like. But I remember one thing my mom told me, which probably means she said it so often, it is burned in my mind permanently: men are the dumbest fucking creatures on planet earth."
Edward looked stunned, frozen on the ground.
"I came onto you, you rejected me. You said you were attracted to me, but then never touched me again. You said 'one day' and showed me your top secret meadow that looks like it belongs in a fairytale, then never-"
Bella didn't get a chance to finish her tirade, because he sat up, quick as a lightning bolt, and was kissing her.
It was her turn to be a little stunned, and it took her half a second to react, but when she did, she did so vigorously.
Her hands tangled into his hair, pulling him closer while his hands roamed down to her waist. She gasped in surprise as his tongue found hers, and she pressed her chest up against him, wanting as much contact between their bodies as she could manage.
He groaned into her mouth, pulling her tight against his body.
She was almost disoriented by his presence, all her senses seemed to be screamingEdward. His touch like fire, his intoxicating smell, the taste of his mouth, the small gasps they were both making.
Finally, he pulled away, and she tried to follow, but he held her back gently by the shoulders.
"Just give me a minute," he whispered.
After waiting for several seconds without him saying anything, she couldn't help but break the silence.
"So," she said, sitting back on her heels.
He chuckled. "So."
"It's about time."
He laughed again. "Bella, you never stop surprising me."
"This shouldn't have been a surprise. I think I made my feelings clear weeks ago."
"Yeah, and a lot has happened in those weeks."
"Please don't tell me you were refusing to touch me again because I needed to 'adjust' or some other bullshit excuse."
"What if I told you thatIam the one that needs to adjust?"
She opened her mouth, but paused in surprise.
"Oh. I didn't think of that."
"I've existed for over a century, Bella. And I've never wanted someone the way I want you. It's changed me, down to my very core. I can't stay away from you. I want to know your every thought, I want to be with you every minute, I want to touch you. Everywhere."
Bella's stomach clenched at his words, her breathing sped up unnecessarily. Remnant reactions from her human years.
"I don't think I've ever wanted to know what you're thinking as much as I do right now." He touched his fingers to her temple. "Even when you were trying to kill me that one time."
Bella laughed. "Not kill necessarily. Severely incapacitate, though."
"You still haven't told me what you're thinking."
Bella smiled, looking up into his anxious eyes. "I want to spend every minute of every day with you, and I'll tell you any thought you want to know. And I want you to touch me." Bella trailed her hand down the front of his chest, flattening her palm against his abdomen. "Everywhere."
He was kissing her again. She nipped at his lower lip gently, earning a hiss of pleasure. Encouraged by this, she let the hand still resting on his stomach trail down to his belt.
He stopped again, and Bella was fairly certain she was about to scream in frustration.
"What now?" She growled, trying to control herself.
"There was another reason I've been hesitant." He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers.
"What is it?"
He didn't answer right away, but Bella was proud of the self-control she showed in being patient.
"I've never done this before." He opened his eyes, meeting hers. "Any of it."
"And?"
"And…you have."
Bella went completely still.
"That's not something I'm going to apologize for."
"No," he said hastily. "And you shouldn't. I just mean that…I don't want that to disappoint you. I want you to be happy, in every way."
"Edward." How could she explain it to him? How could she find words strong enough to describe what he did to her when he smiled that crooked smile? When he looked her in the eyes? When he touched her? She couldn't even explain it to herself. All of a sudden, these life-altering feelings were hers, and she had no words for them.
"Please say something," He whispered, his voice sounding as if he were in agony.
"When I was with Jamie, life was…difficult, to say the very least. I had no other desire but to survive to the next day. My nerves, my instincts, they were always on overdrive. I didn't even realize that until I came here and was able to rest. Being with Jamie… it helped me deal with that. And it wouldn't have even started if it weren't something Jamie wanted from me in the first place. I can't explain what kind of relationship that was. Toxic, like poison, like the worst kind of drug. It sometimes feels good when you're in the moment, but it's slowly destroying you. That's the closest I can get."
Edward was still, his face rigidly neutral.
"Did he force himself on you?"
Bella thought through what he was asking.
"Not in the way you're thinking. It was complicated, though. I don't even know how to explain it to myself, much less to you."
"You don't have to explain anything to me. Unless you want to."
"When I know the words, I will. I want to. But I can't process that right now. What I do know is that I want you, and there's nothing complicated about those feelings."
Edward took both her hands in his and kissed each finger, his lips gently brushing against her skin. It was enough to make her breath hitch.
"There's something else you should know about me," he whispered.
Bella tensed, ready for an admission of some kind of anatomical defect.
"What is it?"
"I'm over a hundred years old."
"I know."
"Which means I'm old-fashioned."
Bella pulled her hands away.
"Oh, no. You're joking, right?"
"Not at all."
Bella laughed.
"We are both supernatural beings, living off of animal blood, with a body count that would shame even the most deranged serial killer; and you want to get married before we have sex?"
He smiled, but when he didn't seem to find it as humorous as she did, she quieted her laughter.
"There aren't many things I've done right in my life. But this is the one I want to do perfectly."
Marriage.
Bella wasn't sure how she had felt about it in her human life, but guessed that, as a teenage human, it hadn't been in her immediate plans. High school. College. Career. Making mistakes. Making more mistakes. Moving out on her own. Traveling. Falling in love. Then, she supposed, marriage may have been in the plans. Or maybe not.
But all of that was gone, not even remaining as a memory in her vampire mind. She knew she was a completely different person now. A completely different being. She knew what she wanted out ofthislife, even if she hadn't known what to want as a human.
She wanted to stay with the Cullens.
She wanted to live this (mostly) cruelty-free life.
She wanted to reach a point where she could integrate into human society.
She was fairly certain she had never fallen in love as a human, but even without having that experience, she knew that falling in love as a vampire was drastically different, and could happen like the flip of a switch. Not much changed once you were immortal, but when a change happened, it was permanent. Visceral. The change became a part of your very cells. Became more a part of you than anything that had happened before.
And Edward had changed her. He loved her. And she loved him, she realized.
And he wanted to marry her. Bella closed her eyes, the rush of overwhelming emotion like a crystal clear tidal wave in her mind.
Too much. Too fast. Too overpowering.
Edward examined her face, his expression hesitant.
"That wasn't a proposal," he said, his voice low.
Bella let out a sigh. It wasn't necessarily relief she was feeling, but nor was it regret. She wasn't sure what she was feeling anymore, and knew she needed time to sort it out. Preferably at a time when she wasn't being hunted by an ex-whatever Jamie had been.
"And this isn't a 'no,'" she reassured, locking eyes with him.
He smiled and Bella couldn't help smiling back. He grazed his hand down the side of her face, an innocent touch that nearly made her shiver.
"I know."
"Oh my God, Bella! We have so much that we need to discuss. First things first, are you more of an indoor wedding or outdoor wedding kind of girl? No, you're right, definitely outdoor. I'll have to ask Rosalie if she'll go to Paris with us, she has such an eye for wedding gowns. I mean, she should, she's only gotten married like seventeen times. But when we do go—"
"Whoa, Alice. Slow down, please. Who said I'm getting married?"
Alice had accosted her as soon as she and Edward had walked into the door. Edward, the traitor, had slipped away before the assault, heading upstairs to leave Bella to fend for herself.
"Have fun," he had chuckled in her ear.
Alice pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, managing to look very put out.
"Bella, I can see that you are going to fight me every step of the way. Let me save you some time, alright? You are not going to win."
"Alice, I'm not getting married," Bella said.
"Oh, please, what did I tell you about betting against me?" Alice dragged Bella over to one of the computers before continuing, "Now, come on. Let's look at color schemes."
Bella rolled her eyes.
"I'm not engaged. But if I were, I don't even really see the point of a wedding, Alice. No frills, no spectacle, and definitely no lace. Besides, I don't know if there is a caterer that will serve fresh mountain lion blood."
"Bella," Alice said with exaggerated patience, linking arms with her and guiding her to the computer. "You're a Cullen now. There are certain things you just need to go along with. Weddings is one of them. And unless you're anything like Rose—which I'm guessing you're not—then the first wedding is going to be your only wedding. Then, once it's over, you can be content as far out of the spotlight as you want to be."
She had guided her to a chair and shoved her to sit with a little more force than Bella thought completely necessary.
"I gave up on arguing with her decades ago, Bella. Better to just save your time and pick a damn color scheme," Jasper said from the couch without looking up from his book.
"Shouldn't we be doing something more useful? Preparing? Practicing?" Bella was grasping at straws.
"Trust me, you don't need to practice anymore. You're very good at killing. Now, do you prefer cool or warm colors?"
Bella sighed, resigned to her fate. She may still need time to figure out her feelings, but apparently Alice did not.
"This is your fault, Edward," Bella said. He laughed upstairs. "I don't know. I like brown…"
"Brown? You want your wedding color to be brown? Here, let me show you a couple of other options." Alice's hand was dancing across the touch screen, pulling together different pictures and colors, creating different aesthetics on different tabs.
They continued on for a couple of hours, Bella doing her best to be patient as they went through different silhouettes, colors, hairstyles, flowers, and several other things she really didn't care much about. But Alice was happy, and Bella liked making her happy.
Finally, Edward came downstairs and placed a hand on the side of Bella's neck. She breathed in his scent, leaned into his touch.
"Bella might be a wonderful killer, but I could do with some practice," he said as Alice frowned at him.
"Jazz can help you. We're just getting started."
Bella's eyes widened at Alice's words.
"Jasper can be the instructor. I need a sparring partner." He moved his hand to cup Bella's cheek.
"Fine," Alice said, sounding quite martyred.
While Edward and Bella avoided public displays of affection, Bella noticed the others were very aware of the situation. Some were just crasser about it.
"Can vampires even get blue balls?" Emmett had laughed.
Esme and Carlisle didn't say anything out loud, but Bella caught Esme smiling a lot at her, touching her hair, touching Edward affectionately.
Rosalie had joined in on the planning, showing a warmth that Bella had never seen from her.
Bella's favorite, though, was Jasper's way of showing affection. He let her win one of their sparring matches, and even managed to make it convincing.
The peaceful interval went on long enough that Bella almost became comfortable, almost enjoying her little piece of happiness. Almost felt like a real Cullen.
Almost.
It was late afternoon.A rare day of sunshine and warmth. Edward and Bella had spent all day at the meadow, and were returning when Edward went rigid, the smile wiped off his face. He cursed before racing the rest of the way home, Bella hot on his heels.
She knew what it meant before they even saw Alice, sitting stone still in the living room, Jasper hovering, the rest of the Cullens around her.
Jamie had made a decision, and he was coming.
A/N:At first I thought maybe this was Bella and Edward moving too fast. But then I remembered that the canon has a full-term, half vampire pregnancy take place in roughly a month's time and realized vampires just do things quicker :)
Thank you for all your comments!