The White Darkness

By Helbaworshipper

The Roland Kingdom Arc: The True Story Of Lotsuan

Kyo blinked as he realized that he was in another area. It felt familiar to him. Slowly, he saw what looked to be the remains of a destroyed castle. This was…

"You can destroy everything in your way. All you have to do is say one word."

The dreams he had been having before the signing of the treaty. He now felt as if he wasn't in his dream, but in some part of Lotsuan. He gathered that he wasn't alone from the presences he felt. He was about to ascertain if they were in fact enemies when he heard a very familiar voice.

"Is this some sort of test?" It was King Weilhausen and he could see Billy in another direction. "Lotsuan was quite upset."

"I'm tired of letting people decide my fate."

"Alice is one of many people who has been forced into a role she wasn't meant to fully use." Kyo simply answered as he remembered the tears she was shedding. "And if Frei is right, she killed Eric with her own hands." He thought of how much it hurt simply to kill Kayna. "Killing someone you care about, even if it's not someone you love deeply..." He shook his head for a bit to get his mind back to normal. "She wants to end the cycle. We have to figure out how."

"It's not that simple." Billy commented, though it was out of annoyance. "If she's right and this is because of the power, how do we stop something like this?" He turned towards King Weilhausen and his forces. "We need to find some sort of clue in this place."

"It's my dream from before." Kyo lifted his wrist up lightly. "There has to be a reason I was brought here. There has to be a truth we didn't notice before." He couldn't remember much other than Alice had to have been the person interacting for most of it. He quietly moved towards where the ruined wedding set up was.

"Why a wedding?" King Weilhausen asked as he looked at the remains. "Even if the wedding had been cancelled, who was the bride?"

"What do you-" He blinked, feeling a little light headed as he thought about it. He thought it was his wedding. It had to have been his wedding. One to Mayura… "Mom."

"Yes?" The woman was standing with the wedding dress. It surprised Billy more than Kyo as he seemed speechless. "What is it you want, son?"

"I was dreaming about your wedding to Father?"

"Yes," she simply answered, remaining in place. The veil lifted as he tried to figure out why she was the clue. His mother had been around so much. She had supported him somehow and yet she was the one providing the dream of the wedding.

"If I hadn't been a Lotis User, would I have ended up like Father?" The woman moved forward a few steps, but not enough to be touched by anyone.

"Your father is not the reason you're afraid of love, Kyo." He felt his body shaking. It took Billy holding him to realize he was in fact talking to a representation of Lotsuan through his mother. She was only there up until Kayna died. The dream itself had only… "If you want to love someone, you have to trust them. Did you trust Alice or Mayura?"

"Of course I-" It hurt again. "I trusted Alice as my friend. I didn't mind being with her if that was what was necessary for the-" He felt weaker as he answered.

"Tell me, son," the woman's voice was softer and still as supportive as before. "What is love to you?"

Frei found himself in the garden where he often met Lotsuan. He could tell it was the place from how it simply felt it. He ascertained who else was with him as some of the Wakamiya forces and Chris approached. Mei Lin was still keeping an eye on him.

"Where are we exactly?" Chris asked more so to keep the tone civil for now.

"Lotsuan's inner garden," he answered, waiting for the next.

"When were you going to tell us about Eric's death?"

"I'm afraid I wasn't going to bother." He started to walk to the tree. "Alice was so upset about it that I highly doubt it would be understood."

"Is that really true?" Mei Lin's voice was more concerned. "It's war, she eventually would have done something."

"She's got a lot more death's she's worrying about." What sort of clue would be sending-

"Is that girl?" He blinked, noticing the girl from before.

"I'm no one important. You're important to Lotsuan, right?"

"It's the girl," Frei spoke as the girl seemed to be sitting on one of the tree branches. "The one I saw in Eric's records." Chris seemed to quiet considerably as he looked up. It was the girl he saw every so often. He could feel Frei's gaze on him.

"Eric killed her in Roland Kingdom. The fact she's here for you and not me is enough of a sign."

"So she's the priestess with that one house?"

"Yes, though I can't imagine it's in any good condition."

"Not really that important." He smiled as he approached the tree. "So, why is Lotsuan having such a tantrum? He seemed pretty nice in the house."

"He always seems calm on the outside. He's always tired, you know?" She looked more serious than before as he continued. "He wants to stop causing all that death. He told me, you know, about the people who use his power without his permission." Frei's mind clicked a bit on it. Permission. No one had ever thought one needed permission to use Lotis or Maram. Yet, how could one ask permission? What required and gave one a sign?

"And what do I need permission for?" Frei asked as he took another step forward. "To use his power or to free him?" He could feel the silence itself.

"To love him," her gaze only slightly softened. "No one… loved him. He gave it to everyone, but no one loved him or treated him with love. He was always alone. Always away from the ones who used his love."

"And his hate," Frei felt something dark inside him. "Eric saw the hate, didn't he? That's how he got into such a position."

"Two sides of a coin. Eric wanted to be the one for all. Yet, you only had the position I did."

"I wanted all of it." Frei spoke, his voice deeper and more rushed than before. "I want all of it still. Not the power, but..." His hands tightened a little as he tried to keep his mind on the girl. "How do I ask… permission for that?"

"Love is complicated." Kyo's voice was strained as he looked at the woman. "I loved my father, but… I also loved my mother and Kayna and..." His body shook even while Billy kept him steady. "I-" Something stung even worse as he tried to figure it out. As he felt his mind almost completely taken in by the attempt, King Weilhausen's voice rang out clearly to him.

"Love is madness," he couldn't turn, but he felt the heavy weight of the words. "While I know in my mind what love must be and what it should be, true love is a passion." He moved forward, looking at the woman in the wedding dress. "If the person you open your heart to truly is in love with you then it becomes the worst when torn away." He knelt, looking up a Kyo's face. "The pain and scar in your body are from your inability to find the passion of that true love. You speak as if you can simply reason with Alice."

"I thought I could."

"And exactly how when she's in this much pain?" Kyo's eyes widened at the harsher tone. "When my beautiful wife died during her birth to Frei… I was in no condition to think of how my son was growing up. I obsessed, certainly, but the pain of her death was reflecting the amount of passion I felt." His eyes softened a bit. "Even now, my son won't forgive me. I can't imagine the passion or past for your Father. I had no good thoughts of him, but he did manage to raise you without abusing you or assassinating you." He slowly stood up and moved away.

When his mother had died, it had been hard on him. There were so many things that remained of her. Yet, he had had Kayna and Alice. Even his father was a bit less harsh and selfish for some time. Yet, when his father died, he had been more conflicted on why it didn't make him upset. It was as if a part of him had accepted his father was incapable of understanding what he needed. And when Kayna had died… It had tore into him even worse than when his mother died. If Alice had died along with everyone else…

"I don't know if I can say I feel passionate about Alice like I wanted to marry her." He felt something warm growing inside him. "Even if I didn't keep her by my side as my queen, I would have simply been okay seeing her." It felt warmer, relaxing… "I simply didn't want her to suffer anymore since she was so strong. Even when her sister was being so praised, she wanted to help. Even if it hurt how others saw her."

"Then you have to show her your acceptance." The woman was calmer as she smiled. "You can't keep your family if you make a wall. She has a family too, doesn't she? Waiting for her outside." As the figure turned into a Lotis, he could see the moment forming again.

"It really is her wedding." Billy commented, a few tears seeming to hit his robes. "She really loved your father, you know?" He smiled and slowly let go so Kyo could stand again. "Go on ahead and we'll be here when you're done." The others seemed to understand as he walked towards the ornate arch that was now glowing.

"Is there such a thing as permission?" The girl smiled as she lowered down to the ground. "If one was going to ask permission every time they wanted something, then it'd be rather pointless." She looked with a calm, but almost sad gaze. "Is what you've been doing with someone's permission the whole time?" Frei's eyes widened for a moment. He had assumed that Lotsuan had giving him permission. Alice had given him the permission to keep going like this.

A part of him had forgotten he was betraying his father's duties to run after Alice. He had simply known and thought it was the right thing to do. How long had he simply assumed that this whole time? He felt dizzy, lowering to his knees. It felt wrong somehow to answer when he felt this way.

"You don't need permission to care about someone." Mei Lin spoke, her voice coming clear to him. "If you think that, then what sort of relationship is that?" She quietly approached, kneeling down as she put a hand to his shoulder. "You don't have to ask for permission every time, but… If Chris were in trouble, I wouldn't be asking him to let me help. He pulled me out without asking about the maids or other people who died in my kingdom."

"We had the bond so early so I just… I trusted it." He managed to say, his body feeling heavier.

"That bond is only the start." She kept her hand there to ground him. "You have to tell them what you want. Even if they might have trouble accepting it, you can just work on making it work out." Her voice softened as she spoke closer to his ear. "Or you'll lose it all without trying."

His hand shook as he thought about Alice. He wanted all of her, even if she didn't have power. She was a good person who had been through a lot and Lotsuan's memories were not easy to go through. Tired… Weary from an endless cycle. He wanted her to just be his. He didn't care about his royal title or his various duties. He'd run away if he had to and simply take care of her. Get normal, less fancy jobs…

"Thank you," He blinked, realizing that Mei Lin had moved back and the girl was in front of him. "It's the first time in all the times I've cycled that my reincarnation wanted to fight for him." She kissed his forehead as a Uido symbol appeared on his head. "Tell her, Frei. Tell her you'll make sure she doesn't have to fight again. Not for something like this."

He lifted his head as the tree formed a portal. He turned for a moment to see the rest of them simply nodding. They seemed to understand as he followed the path once more.