As we perhaps all anticipated, Aramis was not willing to hand over Henry and Agnès to the cardinal. Or anyone, for that matter. I was surprised by how far he would go for a woman he had only met two days ago, but then again, in the brief time I had seen them together, it felt as if they had developed a bond. Clearly, Aramis did not want any harm to come to mother and son, and so he had spirited them both away whilst our backs were turned. He should know us better than to think that we would have stood in his way, it was a little insulting.
It was easy enough to track him, reasoning that if Agnès was going to make a new life for herself and Henry away from Marie de Medici and the Parisian court, then she would have to leave France altogether. We rode after them, taking horses to pursue Aramis before he could find trouble, or trouble could find him. The closest border crossing was our first instinct and verily enough, it proved to be a good instinct. We found Aramis standing guard over Agnès whilst she cooed and fussed over her son. We made our presence known, d'Artagnan greeting them with a civil 'good afternoon'.
Upon seeing us, Agnès rushed to her feet in alarm as Henry rested upon the ground, and I was permitted my first look at the child who had caused so much fuss and bother. The infant of royalty. A sweet little thing, indeed. "Excuse us, madame." Athos greeted Agnès who immediately refused to go back to Paris, standing protectively in front of her child as Aramis surveyed us all carefully.
"I'm not handing them over to the cardinal."
"Aramis, that baby is the heir to the throne." Attempting to speak reason, d'Artagnan rather curtly reminded Aramis that this was no ordinary child he was attempting to smuggle away, Porthos bluntly observing that he could be charged with treason for doing this much. Yet Aramis would not be moved.
"I made her a promise." Promises. Honour. Men. They always made promises on their honour, often over the stupidest of things which drove them to such idiocies. This time, however, I allowed myself to rekindle a small measure of admiration of Aramis for his honour. He was doing the right thing. We all knew it; he was merely holding firm to his conscience. Stepping forwards so that I was positioned between Aramis and the others, I gently drew his hand away from the hilt of his sword.
"Reast easy, Aramis," murmuring quietly, Aramis's gaze flickered down to meet mine which I held valiantly without flinching. "Remember that we are your friends." Under my touch, I felt his grip slacken. After a moment of continually holding one another's gaze, Aramis finally smiled and tilted his head so that the brim of his hat dipped in acknowledgement, letting go of his sword altogether.
"We had better help you, then." Glad that we were now all on the same page, I stepped around Aramis to greet Agnès once more and introduce myself to little Henry whilst the others teased Aramis for his bull-headed thinking. She let me hold him, placing the precious child blankets and all into my arms so that I could look upon his cherubic features and stand in amazement of such an innocent, beautiful creature.
"He is beautiful, Agnès," unable to help but smile, I soon found myself lightly jostling the little boy and kissed his soft, rosy cheek. He giggled, and suddenly it became a game of kisses and giggles. I could have spent hours playing that same game with little Henry, but just as I was beginning to hold Henry up to the sky to kiss his toes, Porthos warned us that trouble was coming.
"Things just got complicated," immediately I brought Henry back down and hid him against my chest, cradling his head in one hand as his face nuzzled into my neck. "Vincent." Angès quickly took Henry from my arms and crouched down out of sight as several riders came cantering into the camp, one man in particular standing out to me as I discreetly watched him pass.
"The leader?" Sending a questioning look at Porthos, he nodded in confirmation. "I saw him this morning leaving Marie's bedchamber. They are lovers," a grim expression was shared amongst us. Now the man had a name I could put to his face, I observed as he made for the bridge with his men, cutting off any escape for Agnès and Henry. I remained beside Agnès, keeping her hidden from sight with my skirts so that she was unnoticeable when crouched down behind the wagon we were using for cover.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Aramis rapidly conversing with Porthos, the two of them seemingly coming to an agreement before he then approached and spoke directly to Agnès. "I want you to head across the bridge and wait for me there. Leave Henry with me." Rising, Agnès whispered fearfully, clearly terrified for the safety of her child, but Aramis remained firm with her. "If you walk out there together, they'll be onto you in seconds." Lifting her cloak, Aramis deftly placed the garment around Agnès's shoulders as I quietly lifted Henry into my arms, using my own cloak to cover him as I stepped aside to give them space. "I will get Henry across the bridge." Unable to help myself, I continued to listen. I heard the tenderness and care in Aramis's voice, laced with affection and even an ember of love, I would dare to say. Whatever he felt for Agnès, he felt it strongly. "I swore no harm would come to him. Now go. Go."
Unable to help myself, I felt a pang of envy. A few months ago, I would have given anything to hear such sweet words from Aramis be directed towards myself. What price I would have paid to be the woman he held in the highest esteem? It was a cruel jest upon my own heart to see his affections be directed elsewhere, but I forced myself not to dwell upon such things. Instead, I looked at Henry, and his innocent smile melted my heart.
Heeding Aramis's instructions, Agnès hastened herself towards the bridge where we all watched as she made the crossing. She was not stopped by Vincent or his men. They barely seemed to glance at her at all. They were searching for a woman and her child, not a woman alone after all. This was the extent of our fortunes, however, as the ferryman at the bridge received a hefty purse of coin and promptly pointed Vincent towards our very location. "Next time I bribe someone, remind me to bring more money."
"You should not be condoning bribery at all," I jested quietly, still holding Henry carefully in my arms whilst swaying to keep him settled and calm. Aramis sent a smirk towards me.
"So, how should we do this?" In answer to d'Artagnan, Athos pulled a cork from one of the barrels which was loaded upon the wagon, allowing a clear, golden liquid to gush forth which he promptly allowed to drench his hand so that he could taste it before pushing the cork back in place.
"These barrels contain brandy. A rather good Armagnac, I believe."
"Athos, now is not the time." Clearly not understanding my brother's intention with the brandy at first, Aramis received a dubious look which he then understood. "Oh, I see." Hefting one of the barrels onto his shoulder, Porthos and d'Artagnan both carried one apiece and tossed them into the nearest fires. "Here, give me the blankets, Madeleine." At first I was confused, frowning at Aramis as he began to pull the blankets away from Henry, leaving him only in his garments and hat. Immediately Aramis began to bundle them together, shaping them until they resembled a cradle of softness for a child about Henry's size. It was now my turn to slowly realise Aramis's intention. "I shall leave little Henry in your capable hands, dear Madeleine," a dazzling smile shone at me. "You should get him far away from here before they see him."
"None shall lay a hand on him," I promised, quickly using my cloak to wrap Henry up so that he would not become cold. Aramis surprised me with a kiss to my cheek, a swift word of gratitude murmuring in my ear before he quickly covered them with his hands. Despite my shock, I managed to understand quickly enough to hide Henry against me and cover his ears. With both myself and Aramis muffling the sound, the explosions of the brandy barrels made Henry jump and fuss, but some quick soothing had him settled once more.
A thick smog of smoke rapidly encased the area, and so I took this as my one opportunity to escape with Henry unseen, safe and hidden in my arms. I vanished from Aramis's grasp before the smoke could clear, as he too had a role to play. I did not see it unfurl, as I returned to my horse whilst Vincent and his men were distracted by the explosions and the diversion Aramis provided with his false bundle of swaddling. My mare whickered softly as I mounted in one smooth movement, using my one free arm to pull myself up before guiding her into a steady canter.
I spirited Henry away before anyone could realise the deception, returning to Paris where I immediately brought him to Constance, and together we fussed and admired the beautiful boy for all the time we were allowed to keep him for ourselves. Constance found a wetnurse to feed him during the night who I paid with coin out of my own pocket. We both sat with him, nestled in the cradle which we rocked whilst I sang lullabies and songs from my childhood. My voice was fair enough, and Henry seemed to like it.
In truth, it was difficult to say goodbye to Henry. Once the dust had settled and all loose ends dealt with, when Marie de Medici was finally out of Paris…it was time to return Henry to his mother. I cradled him in my arms as Constance and the others looked on, gazing down upon him with a heavy sadness and ache in my chest I did not expect to find. He smiled at me, reaching with his hands to touch my face. My throat constricted, but I managed to smile back and whisper my final farewell. "Goodbye, little cherub." Then I kissed his cheek, listened to his precious laughter, then passed him into Constance's arms.
Athos gave me a tender look of understanding as I struggled not to weep. How strange it was that such a small, innocent creature could so swiftly take over one's senses. I gripped at my own stomach as it roiled with nausea. Part of me wished I could go with them. The rest of me was glad that I could not go. Drawing out the farewell was difficult enough, so I saw them off with a wave before having to make my way back to work. The day was dull and dreary thereafter, but it was comforting at least to know that Agnès would be able to start a new life with Henry free from threats. I prayed for their peace and happiness, as it was the least they deserved.
I did not hear my brother and the others return, but Aramis came looking for me of his own accord. He found me elbow deep in flour, kneading bread ready to be baked. Only when he cleared his throat did I realise he was there, the sound tempting me to look over my shoulder to see him removing his hat and watching me almost warily. "I…came to thank you." Averting my gaze, I returned my attention upon my chore.
"What for? In the end I didn't really do much of anything."
"You did not have to do anything at all, but I am grateful that you helped Henry and Agnès. They'll have a good life together now. You are a good woman, Madeleine." A spark of bitterness welled up in my throat as the ache of farewell and sorrowful feelings welled up inside me. I should not have allowed such notions to overcome me, but my mouth was moving before my mind could comprehend the words.
"A good woman? I thought I was plain and unseemly to you. Though, perhaps you meant to use the word unsightly." The silence swallowed the entire pantry, seemingly extending its reach into every hidden space until you were almost choking upon it. I had said to much.
"You heard us." The choked whisper cracked like a snapping branch. I could not bring myself to look at Aramis now, my hands stilling from their work to rest upon the table so that I could support myself. My entire body felt light and heady, as if I had consumed too much wine at once. "My God, Madeleine…I am so…"
"Do not apologise," snapping sharply, I stopped Aramis before he could be allowed to make any excuses for the words he had spoken. "Please, such things are unnecessary."
"They are entirely necessary," his footsteps approached, signifying that he was approaching but the moment I felt the brush of his fingers against my wrist I snatched it away, putting a sensible distance between us whilst refusing to meet his gaze. "Madeleine, you must know that we did not mean…I never meant…I should have realised sooner that you had overheard us. The way you have been acting…the coldness, the distance…Madeleine you must know it was the wine talking, none of us think that you…"
"Wine loosens the lips and shakes the secrets free," bowing my head, I hid it in shame for its appearance. Why did he have to confront me now of all times, when I was covered in flour and feathers? It only further proved his words to be true. "I am not angry, Aramis. Perhaps they were words I needed to hear. I did not realise that my…admiration of you caused you to be uncomfortable."
"That is not at all the case, I simply…I just…I…" but Aramis had no excuses, and he had no explanations. Nothing he could say could take back his words. As one could never take back their own words, we could not go back to the way things were between us. Everything had shifted. "Tell me how I can make amends. I will do anything you ask," Aramis pleaded, sounding truly desperate as he again attempted to approach but I did not allow him to close the distance. "If you order me to beg forgiveness on my knees, I will do so. Beat me. Flay me. Anything you like." A sombre laugh escaped me.
"If you think watching you suffer will bring me any joy or peace of mind, then you do not understand my feelings at all, Aramis." Exhaling deeply, I rubbed my temples as my head began to ache, unwittingly smearing more flour upon my face. It hardly mattered now. "I would never wish to see you in pain."
"There must be something."
"Forget everything concerning the incident, forget that I know. Simply forget and let us go back to being simple friends." Finally, I managed to muster the courage to look at Aramis, though I was ashamed to say that my body was trembling and I could barely maintain a smile. "That is all I desire." From his expression, Aramis looked so utterly ashamed he might have preferred that I asked him to flay himself. The devastation was difficult to witness, but I held fast to my strength. "I never fell for you, Aramis. Not like a fickle minded maid. My feelings for you are and always will be a sense warmth you bring by your mere presence. You are handsome, as you well know, and charming, and you have always treated me with kindness. What young girl would not fill her head with little fancies of such a man? But rest assured, my blushes and stolen glances are at an end. It is time I came to my senses and acknowledged that I am not fit for a man such as yourself."
"That is nonsense!" Aramis attempted to refute my words, but a steady look swiftly quietened his outburst. "You are…"
"Do not dare call me beautiful, Aramis. Do not insult me with a lie." He clamped his mouth shut. I saw him grit at his teeth, breathing heavily whilst continually wearing his shame overtly upon his features. He fought to find the right words to say.
"I was wrong, Madeleine. Wrong to say such things about you, drunk or not. Such abominable words should never have crossed my lips, for they do you no justice." A step of approach, followed by a pause. When I did not move away, Aramis dared another. "I have behaved reprehensibly, and you would be well within your right to bid me cut out my own tongue in penance." Such imagery made me flinch, having no desire to see such messiness. "Yet you have withstood the scorn and indignity with grace and honour, of which I am in awe. I have the deepest respect for you. I am undeserving of your affections, even your politeness. I would not blame you if you were to treat me like the dog that I am."
"Aramis, that is not fair…"
"You are courageous and forthright, with a golden heart and warm smile. There is nothing but kindness and goodness in you, Madeliene, and I cherish you dearly." Having finally taken enough steps to close the distance between us, Aramis held my gaze unwaveringly as I listened to his words which felt sincere and genuine. As far apart from his flowery addresses of charm as they could possibly be. "You are radiant, Madeleine. The sunlight and warmth we search for when everything feels bitter and grey." In that moment, I believed every word Aramis spoke.
Later I would recollect these endearments and sweet appraisals with doubt and uncertainty, unable to believe that a person such as I could be all those things, but in the moment Aramis spoke them, I allowed myself to believe that I truly was a radiant being. A soft kiss was pressed to my cheek, lingering long enough for his facial hairs to begin tickling my skin. When Aramis drew away, his beard was dusted with flour. I burst with a laugh. I felt liberated and alive, overcome with such joy as I had not felt since that night in the tavern when my esteem had been so utterly obliterated.
I brushed at Aramis's beard to remove the flour as he too chuckled. It was a perfect reconciliation, and thereafter Aramis and I were closer for it. My admiration of him remained, but I was no longer ashamed by it. What harm was there in admiring a man who should be admired? Aramis was a brave, selfless and tender individual once he allowed you to see such things within him. He acted with honour and dignity, and I saw no reason why I should not let myself blush a little should he pay me a simple compliment or kiss my cheek. All felt right within the world, and I treasured the peacefulness it brought.