When at the pinnacle of France's happiness, it seemed almost inevitable that something should happen to settle the balance. One could never have too much of a good thing, it seemed. France anticipated welcoming its new heir, but the one who had desired such stability more than anyone else, the cardinal, fell desperately ill. Part of me was convinced that it was the shock of being discovered by the queen, and the amassing guilt of his failure which had led to his heart troubling him.
The entire palace was swept into an uproar of fear when the cardinal collapsed in front of the king himself, apparently clutching at his chest and wheezing. The doctors proved to be ineffective and the cardinal was confined to his bed, unable to move from it for sheer weakness. He was dying. The stench of impending death clung to him. No servants were willing to tend to him, and none of the nobility offered. The cardinal had made more enemies than friends, it seemed. It was almost pitiful.
As was her duty, Anne saw to it that the cardinal was tended to during his illness, and gave me the responsibility of his care. I was the only one willing to do it, and in confidence she confessed that she did not trust anyone else to watch him. Both to tend to his needs…and keep him in check. However, seeing the man who had once stood as one of the most powerful figures in France be reduced to little more than a hollow shell left little to fear. I nursed him, soothing his aches and feeding him by hand.
For the most part in the beginning, the cardinal only slept and woke intermittently, but was rarely lucid. The king and queen visited him every day, praying for his recovery. King Louis was particularly distraught, fearful for the life of his First Advisor. I did not like to pass comment or judgement whether or not the cardinal would recover, because in truth, it did not seem very likely. There was no improvement, only perpetual weakness and pain. Remaining by the cardinal's side allowed me to come to terms with the knowledge that soon he would be going to God, and he would have no further influence over this court or impede the lives of those I cared for. Sponging lightly at his brow, the cardinal seemed to be sleeping peacefully, however he suddenly gasped for air and stirred, startling me as his eyes flickered open. It was early in the morning but light enough that candles were not required to be able to see.
The curtains were partially drawn and one window left ajar to allow fresh air inside. Immediately the cardinal looked upon me, his brow creasing slightly before he sank back into his pillows. "You," I took that to mean that he recognised me. "What are you doing here? Where are my servants?"
"They are otherwise engaged, your eminence." Answering truthfully but delicately, my meaning was not lost upon the cardinal who scoffed to himself as I dabbed lightly at his temples, soothing the fever which radiated from his skin. "Is there anything you desire? I shall have it fetched for you at once."
"Nothing, I am just an old man waiting to die…alone, it seems."
"His majesty the king has visited you every day, and many others have come to pay their respects and well wishes. You are not as alone as you might think," attempting to at least be kind, the cardinal was not at all fooled by my words as he gave me a withering scowl.
"Stupid girl, nothing but pomp and obligation. They most likely only come to revel in my current state of vulnerability." To this I had no reply, so I instead set aside the sponge and offered the cardinal a drink instead. He accepted this, allowing me to hold his head and gently tilt the cup to his mouth to trickle the diluted wine for him to swallow, resting his entire weight upon my hand so that he did not need to exert himself. "Thank you," his thanks caught me off guard, my expression revealing it for a moment before I quickly recovered myself.
"It is only my duty, your eminence,"
"Of all the people in my service, not one of them are here tending to me as they should. Instead, you are here," lifting his hand, the cardinal made the sign of the cross over me as he laboured for breath and his eyes sank wearily. "Bless you, child." Quickly kissing my knuckle, I crossed myself and sent a quick prayer to God, glorifying His name. "This is not the first time you have tended to me."
"Caring for the sick and wounded is a talent of mine, your eminence." A ghost of a smile touched his features, and I marvelled that the cardinal even knew how to display such an expression.
"Last time…you sang hymns. One of them was my favourite…will you sing it for me again?" Asking him which one it was, the cardinal named it. Leaning over him, I plumped his pillows and lifted his coverings over his chest to keep his heart warm, making him as comfortable as possible before I began to sing to him the hymn he had requested. It seemed to soothe him, and I obliged him to sing as many songs as he requested. When I did not sing, I read to him passages from the Bible, speaking fluently in Latin as he came to terms with his own mortality and took heed of his immortal soul.
The cardinal never recovered from his illness, nor did he ever see the birth of France's heir. He died relatively peacefully with me beside him, the only person who remained at his side until the very end. In that time, we found our peace with one another, and agreed to let bygones be bygones. I delivered the news to the king and queen myself, whereupon the palace was declared to be in official mourning. Black was the expected apparel, the colour of grief and distress. King Louis wailed in wake of the cardinal's demise, and ordered a grand funeral be held for him. All were to honour him, and I did not begrudge the cardinal such a fanfare as although his methods were ones I disagreed with, his intentions had always been that of France's best interests.
In any case, I did not attend the funeral itself. Why, you might ask? Well, because I was attending the birth of France's heir. The queen went into labour the night before the funeral was to be held, and throughout the long hours she fought to deliver her child safely into the world. I remained beside her amongst her other ladies, where we rushed to tend to her every need as the royal physician harried the birthing process along. To me, he seemed to be a rather useless fellow who only seemed to tell the queen to breathe and push. What else was she going to do, hold her breath and cross her legs?
The entire ordeal was stressful for us all, and we were forever ordering fresh water to be boiled and toils kept in preparation. We rallied behind our queen, encouraging her when she seemed to falter, and many times she would take one of us by the hand and squeeze until it seemed our bones were going to break under the force of her pressure. I held on the longest, gritting my teeth through the pain as I imagined that what I was feeling was incomparable to the queen's agony of delivering a child.
The entire palace seemed to be holding its breath, until finally the first cries of the new born son were heard. We sobbed collectively, falling into one another's arms as the new prince was delivered from his mother. The moment we were allowed, we ladies rushed to cleanse and assist the queen to recover from the birth. We removed the soiled sheets and replaced them with fresh ones, tossing the old aside to be burned as we washed her body and quickly dressed her in a new nightgown. I thought to brush through her hair after we washed and towel dried it, leaving it thick and bushy as we had no time to style and arrange it.
When the little prince was finally placed into her arms, Anne wept with pure, motherly delight, and we continued to weep with her. Praise the Lord, it was a son. For everyone else, this was cause for great celebration. I held my smile and cheer as well as the rest, but inwardly I was harrowed with dread. A son. A son between Anne and Aramis…a pretender. I bit down upon my tongue to remind myself to maintain my silence. Out of love for them both, I would never speak a word of the truth. This child was to be the future king, the Dauphin of France. The matter of his bloodline would be a secret I would take to my grave.
News swiftly spread of the successful birth, and it was not long before the king arrived to meet his firstborn son. As a man, he looked so gloriously proud that I could fool myself into thinking that this boy truly was the king's child. For the sake of Anne and Aramis, I would have to consider him so. When finally I was able to look upon the small infant, I became enamoured with the cherubic features, falling for the sweet ampleness of his cheeks and little rosebud mouth. Such a beautiful child. Looking to Anne, I expressed my heartful admiration to her. "He is perfect, your majesty. Truly, he is a treasure beyond value."
"Thank you, Madeleine. Will you hold him? I must rest…care for him in my stead." Such a monumental task was suddenly placed in my hands, and I found myself cradling the young prince in my arms as his mother slept to recover from the ordeal of childbirth. It had looked gruesome and painful, something I was not keen to experience myself, but if perhaps one day I could hold a child of my own like this, then I might consider putting myself through such a torturous experience to reap such a bountiful reward. Holding the boy, I sang to him softly as I held him, the envy of every other lady as I cared for the little prince and tended to him. I kept him clean and comforted, settling him down to rest within his cradle. The only time I handed him into the care of another was to deliver him to his wetnurse, and even then, I watched them like a hawk.
As one might have expected, it was not long before Anne rose from her bed and was determined to see to her duties. She fussed over her newborn son, little Louis, a sweet and cheerful child by all accounts, before making to where the king had summoned his court for daily council. We ensured to take great care with the queen, leaving her corset a little loose and attempting to make her as comfortable as possible, all whilst retaining the dignity of a queen. Anne did so splendidly.
Louis was once more in my arms, and I held him up for her to admire before it was time to leave. The child remained in my care, though this was my first real experience with infants other than little Henry, whom I had cared for in the time that he was under my protection. It felt like such a long time ago now, and Louis represented a great deal more not only to the court, but to the entire nation as the heir apparent. A great deal of expectation rested upon such tiny shoulders, and no small amount of threat.
Anne had wanted me to be the main caregiver for her child the moment she knew she was carrying. In confidence, she had told me that she trusted no one else as much as I, except of course, the boy's father. She did not name him, for she did not need to. All I had answered was that I would protect this child with my life, and that for as long as I drew breath, no one would ever harm Prince Louis. Having witnessed my determination to protect and my ability to keep my word for herself, my vow appeased Anne, and she allowed herself to relax so long as Louis was under my watchful gaze.
I carried him to where the king awaited Anne, smiling dreamily upon her as I quietly brought Louis to his cradle and settled him down as he slept. It must be a tiring thing to be coddled and fussed over so much by so many strangers. I envied the boy's ability to sleep so soundly. With a fond smile, I stepped aside as the king took Anne's hand into his own. "Should you be up so soon, my dear?"
"My place is at Your Majesty's side," her effortless answer won Anne an admiring look from the king, who now viewed Anne as the most majestic creature to grace this earth having brought a son into the world for him. I bit down upon my tongue.
"Your devotion does you credit." At the very least, it was clear to me how devoted the pair were to one another. Although Anne harboured feelings for Aramis, I knew for a fact that she was exceedingly fond of King Louis, and that she viewed him as her partner. They were the King and Queen of France, and she did not take that role lightly. Staying beside the prince, I did not watch the royal couple, but the king's voice carried in the echoing room where the courtiers gathered and I could not help but overhear his every word. "Captain," as always, I glanced towards the captain with a pulse of fondness. Any thought or mention of Captain Treville prompted soft emotions. The king looked upon Treville gravely, all of us dressed in the black attire of mourning. "The cardinal believed in destiny. He saw a day when France would be pre-eminent in Europe. At such a time, I require a man of stature to fill the cardinal's shoes, a man that I can trust. Treville, I believe you are that man." The weight of the king's words fell heavily upon the captain's shoulders.
I observed how they sunk under the implications, a look of alarm and uncertainty levelling themselves upon his features as he glanced from king to queen. "I don't understand," he answered hesitantly. For a brief moment, Treville's eyes caught my own, but I could offer him no consolation, no advice. Despite his words, Treville knew full well the king's intent, for he was an intelligent man.
"It's very simple. I want you to join my council and learn the business of my government," the king explained with the sound of his voice emanating a cherished smile, one which could be observed by any keen observer or discreet listener. "You might even be my First Minister one day and be as dear to me as he was." Unfortunately, the eagerness of the king's joy was not shared by Treville. I tried not to overhear, but as I have previously stated, it was impossible in such a place where even whispers carried so readily. "I'm waiting for your answer." Silence followed, Treville unable to find his own words. "Still waiting."
"This…is an extraordinary honour, sire…" selecting his words carefully, Treville attempted to respond as diplomatically as possible. Already I knew that he would refuse. I had said as such when Anne had asked about Treville filling the cardinal's old office, but she had held to a hope that Treville might put his king's wishes above his own comforts. I knew the captain well enough to flatter myself that despite this hope, he would still refuse. "But one I must decline." Mayhap I was correct. "Whatever ability I have is better employed with the Musketeers."
"Come now, captain," Anne intoned gently, already moving to placate the king's ire with a touch of her hand to his arm. "This is no time for modesty. The king needs you."
"You will not reject me at my hour of need?" Hearing the dejected hurt in the king's voice, I rather pitied the man. Already he had lost his closest and most trusted advisor, and now the other man he trusted equally as much had refused him. I could understand the edge of anger in his astonishment.
"I detest politics and have no talent for diplomacy."
"Such things can be learned," still the voice of reason, and ever the king's advocate, Anne continued to try and persuade Treville to take up the office. "The council will benefit from your wisdom and common sense. To this, Treville reasoned that there were other men more capable than himself, all but begging the king to choose one of them in his stead. Now the king's voice had lost every ounce of its warmth, and as I continued to watch over the prince, I felt the coldness of underlying anger echo throughout the room.
"I did not expect you to abandon me in my hour of need." Were it any other request, I knew that the captain would have answered the king's wishes without hesitation, but this seemed to be where Treville was making his stand. He loved the Musketeers too much, and had spent too much of his life a soldier.
"I am not the cardinal, sire. I could not serve you as he did." The next words spoken by the king were cold, callous, and somewhat cruel.
"Well, then, it is a great shame that he is dead and that you are alive," he stepped closer to Treville, and only because I was near to them with the prince in his cradle did I hear the rest. "I'm disappointed…but a king does not ask twice. You have cut me to the wick." Taking up Anne's hand, the king walked her away to begin court proceedings. This was where I parted from the king and queen, taking up the little prince to see to his care. The prince was yet too young to be involved in the affairs of court, and so he was permitted to play and be taught by those seeing to his upbringing. The other ladies in waiting might have envied the fact that the queen had named me the prince's primary caregiver, but they knew better than to speak of their disgruntlement in her presence, or even in mine.
As such, they satisfied themselves with distant glares as I coddled and fussed over the boy, entertaining him with his endless toys and encouraged him to giggle and smile all the while. After he had rested, I then had him placed upon the thickest and softest rugs so that he might be able to kick and wriggle freely, exercising his limbs to strengthen them. Some ladies would come and join me, perhaps even lift him to hold the prince in their arms, but he never left my sight, and they knew better than to try and take him away. One lady had attempted to overrule an instruction I had given, asserting her own authority amongst the lesser ranked ladies in waiting such as myself.
I swiftly put an end to such nonsense. I might not have been the highest rank lady attending to the queen, but I was most certainly the favourite, and neither Anne nor I were inclined to hide such a fact. For the sake of peace, she had lessened her favour of late and shown interest in other young ladies, those who were perhaps newer or displayed a certain talent of some kind, but always her preference returned to me. It was widely known throughout the court, and with such favour came authority. As such, the wellbeing of the prince was my utmost concern, and I had ensured that only those who had raised children themselves were permitted around him. I would not have clumsy maids risking their uncertain hands with dropping the precious prince.
Within the several hours court commenced, Prince Louis had fed and slept twice over, and so when the queen summoned me to attend to her, of course I brought the little prince with me. It was almost natural now to carry him in my arms. Thankfully, we were now to attend to an appointment I had greatly anticipated, for it concerned my dearest friend Constance. She and I had little opportunity now to see one another, mostly communicating via letters, but upon entering the guest hall with Anne leading the way, I caught Constance's surprise at our entrance before she dropped into a swift curtsey.
Unable to help myself, I smiled to her when she dared lift her head a little, sending me a quizzical expression as the queen addressed her directly. "Constance, I'm so glad you're here. D'Artagnan speaks of you in glowing terms, as does Madeleine here," Anne spoke with a light gesture in my direction. As Constance continued to frown in bewilderment, I winked to her. Bonacieux, her husband, remained baffled and seemingly disappointed by the queen's presence.
"How very kind of them," he stated, though he did not sound sincere. "Might the king be joining us soon?" As ever whenever that pompous man spoke, my irritation sparked against him.
"Remember to whom you speak," I admonished curtly, turning myself aside to hide the prince from his unworthy eyes whilst glowering at him heatedly. We had never liked one another much. "This is Her Majesty Queen Anne of France." He bowed his head apologetically to Anne, however I caught the twitch of his mouth which showed his displeasure.
"It was I who sent for you." Anne informed, electing to disregard Bonacieux's rudeness in favour of focusing upon Constance and her intention of bringing her here. "I am looking for a reputable young woman to act as my personal confidante and messenger. Madame Bonacieux comes highly recommended." Bonacieux furrowed his brow once more, evidently more displeased than ever. Nothing would have pleased me more than to watch this exchange, and I was glad that Anne had summoned me for it. To watch as Bonacieux was passed over and ignored in favour of his wife, whom he had monopolised so completely as to all but isolate her from her friends for months.
"By the Musketeer d'Artagnan?" Unable to help myself, I smirked behind Anne's back at the oafish imbecile. His face turned beetroot red as the queen affirmed his suspicions.
"Indeed. He said she was a woman of great sense and discretion." Still a little uncertain of what was happening before his very eyes, Bonacieux began to respond by suggesting that he had attempted to instil such virtues of duty within Constance, clearly leading to degrade her as unsuitable for a role at the queen's side, but Anne was wise to his ploy and swiftly overcame him. I applauded her tact.
"Her position will mean her living near me, in the palace," she glanced to Bonacieux. "I assume you have no objection." Clearly, when a queen asks for something, it is generally never refused. Bonacieux was trapped and unable to think of a single excuse to say why Constance should not become a lady in waiting. No matter her circumstances, the queen wished for it, and so it would be made possible. Finally, Bonacieux bowed.
"Whatever Your Majesty requires." Once more ignoring the oaf, Anne moved a little closer as Constance glanced between the queen and myself, a little wonderstruck by the moment as Anne lowered her voice to whisper discreetly, allowing me to hear but not the other ladies who were gossiping behind me.
"My ladies-in-waiting are all excellent women," she began softly, "but except for our dear Madeleine, they have no love for a Spanish queen. They gossip like fishwives. I need a person I can trust always at my side." Anne glanced to the other ladies, and I withheld the desire to roll my eyes in exasperation, listening to them twitter and fuss. "You do want to come?"
"Very much," without hesitation, Constance accepted Anne's offer, looking exceedingly relieved. "Thank you, your majesty." Looking utterly relieved and almost on the verge of tears, Constance curtseyed to Anne who promised to see to the arrangements. I hoped that Constance would come immediately, the sooner I could get her away from that boorish man, the better. Following after Anne, I looked over my shoulder to catch Constance's eye and murmured to her.
"I shall see you soon," leaving her with such a promise, I left her to revel in her newfound freedom. Privately, I thanked Anne for her kindness. She smiled to me.
"It is true what I said, I am in need of more ladies such as yourself to attend me." Pausing in our walk, she looked upon her son with an overflowing love and curled her arms around him to lift him from my grasp. "I am aware that I have placed you in a precarious position. Attending to both myself and little Louis is a monumental task, and although you take to your duties with a zealousness that I only admire, it must be quite tiring and burdensome for you, Madeleine." I was surprised by her words, for I did not feel any such notion at all.
"Of course not, your majesty," murmuring gently, I dipped a small curtsey before her, one of respect and love rather than manners. "I am honoured to serve both you and the Dauphin, nothing brings me greater joy."
"Your devotion is why you are so dear to me, Madeleine, but I will not have you bear this burden alone. Constance is a close friend of yours, as you have told me, and if you trust her then so shall I. For all that I owe you, this is but a small concession and no difficulty at all." Feeling Anne's tender touch lift me back to my feet, she then brushed her hand against my cheek whilst still holding her son in her arms. "It is my hope that we shall all be dear to one another one day soon."
"Such is my hope also, your majesty," I paused, glancing around me to make certain that no one would overhear. "Dear Anne." My endearment created a glowing smile upon Anne's fair refrain. It warmed her features as she exhaled softly, drawing little Louis closer to her face to inhale his scent before returning him to my arms. Our moment was over, and we once more returned to the roles of queen and lady in waiting.
"Perhaps you might take the prince for a walk, Madeliene. It will do him well to have a change of air," Anne suggested, and so with a graceful yet careful curtsey, I obeyed her wishes and took the prince elsewhere as she returned to her duties. I was joined by three other ladies. Two were younger but excellent caregivers, and the third was an older, silver-grey haired woman who had birthed and raised many children in her lifetime, and was something of an intended governess to the young prince. As ever, however, he remained in my arms.
I took him about the palace, two Musketeer guards escorting us all the way as I murmured softly to him, watching as his eyes flickered sleepily to the soft croon of my voice. It was a bright day outside, though not warm enough to take little Louis out into the fresh air for long, an invigorating walk was as good for the rest of us as it was for the infant. It was completely coincidental that my path happened to coincide with that of Athos and of course, Aramis. Before I realised he was near, I saw a shadow fall over little Louis and I naturally turned him away from the intruder with a sharp snap of my tongue. "How dare you-?!" Upon raising my gaze, I recognised Aramis standing beside me, looking wistfully upon the bundle in my arms. "Aramis…" any other time, I would have gladly welcomed him warmly, but with so may eyes upon us, I maintained an air of professionalism and severity. "One should bow before the Dauphin of France."
"Of course, you are quite right dear Madeleine," still gazing upon the child, Aramis bowed himself towards him, still looking upon his sleeping face with an expression of longing. My heart panged for the man, realising that this was the first time he had ever looked upon the child who was in fact his own son. His flesh and blood. Yet he could never claim him. I glanced ahead, to where my brother Athos lingered. My tongue was tied in place, for I could not disregard formalities and acknowledge my brother in front of the other ladies, and yet I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms. I had missed him dearly. "I only wanted to pay my respects." I returned my gaze to Aramis.
"I understand the desire, for the little prince is a long awaited treasure of our nation." Speaking plainly for the sake of the others listening upon us, my mind thought rapidly. I swayed upon my feet. "Oh my…hurry! Take him!" Without further warning, I pushed Prince Louis into Aramis's grasp, his arms jumping to fold around the small child as I clutched at my head. The other ladies rushed with a startled gasp to steady me, catching my arms as I continued my façade of faintness with a pained expression to truly encompass the image of a woman fit to swoon. "Forgive me…I felt quite the flush all of a sudden. I am well now, quite well." Reassuring them that I was alright, I straightened myself and looked to Aramis, who was utterly lost as he beheld his son which he held in his arms.
Truthfully I was loathe to disturb him. This was perhaps the only opportunity he would ever have to hold the boy, his son, in his arms. It was all I could give him, but every father should be able to hold their child at least once. Out of the corner of my eye I could sense Athos giving me a look, but I pointedly ignored him. "Thank you, sir. Perhaps your forwardness was indeed fortuitous, for you were here precisely when your prince needed you." Speaking slowly if only to extend the moment as much as possible, I then placed my hand upon Aramis's arm tenderly and gestured to another lady, indicating that he should give the prince to her. "We may take him now. We must be on our way." It pained Aramis to release little Louis, it was evident in his eyes, but he did so regardless of his own feelings.
Carefully, ever so carefully, he placed the boy into the arms of another lady, watching for as long as he dared before he turned his attention to me, gallantly touching my brow and turning my face to observe me carefully. "Are you certain you are well, my lady? It will not do if you are overworking yourself to the point of exhaustion and swooning. Is there anything I can do for you?" Despite the fact I knew Aramis was only continuing my ruse, the warmth and care behind his words were genuine, and behind them, I could hear his innermost words attempting to convey themselves to me. Thank you.
"I am well, I only need a breath of fresh air." Allowing myself to squeeze his hand, I then removed it from my face and stepped forwards. From there I paused only once more to reach for Athos who naturally stretched his hand towards me where I brushed my fingers against his and felt him catch my hand in a swift yet firm squeeze before letting me go. Then we were gone, and I could only hope that my pretence would not arouse any suspicion to others. It was the first and last exception I would make, to ensure that no further suspicions might be aroused. At the very least, Aramis had held his son, and I made peace with the fact that he might continue without the regret of never being able to hold and love his son together in a single moment for the rest of his life.