As time moved swiftly on, the palace was eagerly preparing for the young prince's christening. All were eager for such a momentous day, for it promised a securer future for France. Little Louis was growing well, and there was nothing better I liked than to watch him grow and develop. Even at a few months old he was a sprightly little thing who loved to wriggle and grasp at things. If I was not careful then he would pull the pendent I wore with such a fierce tug that once or twice, I had feared he would break it.
Thankfully it never came to that, but I made certain to keep the pendent tucked away for now, as I knew as the boy grew, so would his strength. It was my turn to stay with him during the night, which happened to be only two nights before he was due to be christened. Perhaps he sensed the anticipation as well as the anxiousness around him, for he was irritably fussy at the time. He would not settle, crying and wailing until someone came to hold him and soothe him. Most often it was my charge to do so, but I began to wonder where the other lady had gotten to, as we were meant to be sharing the task of soothing the prince.
Marguerite was officially the prince's governess, and we were often sharing duties with one another. I was familiar with her, and we were cordial, but not overly friendly. For what felt like the hundredth time, I rose to see to Prince Louis who began to cry, feeling rather ragged and miserable myself. As much as I adored the prince, times like these tried even my patience, especially since I was alone. "Where is that silly woman, hm?" I cooed to the prince, hoping that my voice would settle him. His wailing lessened a little. "Where do you think she is, my prince? She has quite vanished!" Holding him carefully in one arm, I began to stroke the small bridge of his nose.
His eyes followed the trail of my finger as I delicately petted him, and with each motion his eyes grew heavier. It was one of my surer tricks, but it was not infallible. Once he was drowsy, I placed him back into his cradle, then hurriedly went to the door to see if Marguerite was outside. Indeed she was, and she was not alone. My temper flared upon seeing Aramis there, lingering where he should not be, and worse still, embracing Marguerite with a delicate kiss. Tiredness cut my temper to the quick, and I felt a powerful urge to hit them both. I settled for diplomatic curtness. "If I am not interrupting, I must beg of you to allow Lady Marguerite to return to her duties, sir." Aramis all but sprung back from Marguerite, who gasped with a flush of her cheeks as she whirled about to stare wide eyed at me.
"Lady Madeleine! I…I did not know you were there…forgive me, I was only…" she floundered helplessly as Aramis stood behind her, looking bashful but not wholly unapologetic. He was looking imploringly at me, and constantly his gaze moved past my shoulder to where he knew the prince lay inside. As if knowing the exact time to make a fuss, little Louis began to cry again. I stepped outside and held the door for Marguerite, gesturing sharply with my head.
"You can tend to him this time. It is about your turn, I should think." Blushing heatedly, she bowed her head and hurried past me, disappearing inside to tend to the royal prince, leaving me alone with Aramis. Glancing behind me, I ensured that Marguerite was with little Louis before closing the door. "You should not be here, Aramis."
"I know, but I cannot help myself," starting towards me with the look of a desperate man, he grasped at my hand. "I have to see him."
"You cannot."
"If only for a little while." Placing my face upon my hand, I was tempted to strangle the man before me, as clearly he had taken leave of his senses. With my tiredness and the sound of the prince crying constantly, I could barely manage to construct a sensible thought. Eventually, I simply conceded defeat. Without a word I stepped back into the nursery but I left the door open, a silent invitation for Aramis to follow. Inside Marguerite already looked desperate as she jostled little Louis, attempting to console him. Perhaps he was feeling discomforted somewhere, it would explain why he cried so much.
"He will not settle," she lamented as I clicked my tongue in irritation. At any other time she was an excellent governess, but when it came to a fussing child, she was utterly hopeless. Her nerves upset the prince all the more, and so I removed him from her arms and hushed him, holding him close with my hand wrapping around his head to cradle him against my neck and began to sway.
"Let me try." Both of us looked to Aramis in surprise, finding him lingering near to us with his eyes resting heavily upon his son whom I held against me. "I'm told I have a way with infants." He offered plainly.
"He is the royal prince," Marguerite gaped at him in astonishment for his cheek, but Aramis only smiled to her and reasoned that he was still only a baby, prince or not. Then he turned to me and extended his arms, offering to take little Louis for me. My feet ached as did my arms, and I could not help but feel tempted. With only a slight reluctance and apprehension, I lay the prince into Aramis's arms, in his father's arms, and watched as Aramis naturally held him aloft. He began to hum a tune, one which I recognised as a common lullaby for infants.
The sound he made was mellow and smooth, the words soon following as Aramis turned aside so that his back faced us. For a moment, Marguerite and I stared in amazement as little Louis quietened to listen. We looked at one another. Hours of endless fussing, and he was settled with a simple song. Or perhaps, the instinctual pull towards his sire assisted in calming little Louis. Whichever it be, I was not about to argue or protest. I was glad for the quiet. "Is the child guarded night and day?" Aramis suddenly asked us as we both moved towards him, standing beside him to look upon the sweet little boy as his eyes closed firmly.
"You take your duties very seriously," Marguerite teased him, to which Aramis smiled and chuckled dispassionately, electing not to reply. "Now was it me or the baby you've come to see?" At this moment, I had endured enough.
"The queen would not be pleased to hear of you taking liberties whilst you are meant to be watching the prince, Lady Marguerite," I spoke in as low a voice as I could make, not daring to awaken the prince now. She blushed again and hastily stepped away from Aramis whom she had begun to groom with her long, slender fingers. "Since you are clearly unable to focus upon your duties, you may leave for tonight. I shall watch over the prince, and you," I scowled at Aramis, "since you worry so much for his safety, you may stand and guard him all night." Her mouth dropped into a perfect circle.
"But…you two will be alone…"
"Aramis is like to me as a brother of my own blood, so my honour is perfectly safe in his hands. In any case, we shall leave the door ajar if you are so concerned. We shall not be alone, the nursemaids and wetnurse shall be coming and going often enough, so there is no reason to be so aghast. I was not the one dispelling all sense of propriety outside that door." Perhaps my tone was harsh, but I had reached the end of my patience and I wanted nothing more than to dismiss everyone who was unnecessary and sit down.
After my scolding, Margeurite had meekly left and did not return, allowing me to finally drop into a chair which I rested upon with no regard for proper deportment, merely slouched upon it as if I had lost the use of my spine. "If you need to rest, dear Madeleine, then feel free to do so. I can watch over the prince for as long as you need." Aramis promptly and all too eagerly offered, so I opened an eye to scowl at him.
"Do not dear Madeleine me, sir. I am still displeased with you." Pausing to ensure that Margeurite was gone, I lowered my voice a little further as Aramis moved closer to hear my adamant whisper. "You should not toy with a woman's heart just to have an excuse to be close to him, Aramis. It is a cruelty, and I shall not stand for it."
"I know, you are right Madeleine, but I just cannot…" looking to the boy in his arms, a pained expression troubled his face amidst the glow of fatherly love which overcame him. "I must be near to him. At least sometimes."
"Aramis…" lost for words, and too tired to argue with him, I reasoned that at least for tonight, we might be able to avoid suspicion. I had done a fair job at scolding both he and Margeurite, and my orders were not unreasonable to make him stand guard over the prince as a means to teach him a lesson. At least in the eyes of others. For Aramis, I expect he would wish for nothing else other than to stand for an entire night gazing at his secret son. This was not a punishment, but a boon. "Just promise me that you will be careful," I finally decided, rising from the chair and drawing him towards the cradle to let the prince sleep. "I cannot continue to conceal your true intentions or protect you from the consequences if you do not begin to act with reason."
"This is why I treasure you, my dearest Madeleine," murmuring to me sincerely with a jovial expression, Aramis leaned across to kiss my cheek after he had settled the prince down to rest. The soft brush of his beard tickled at my skin and naturally curled my mouth upwards, a small giggle escaping from me before I hastened to batter him away.
"You fiend…I am too soft on you, Aramis. It is most unfair." The brightness of his gaze dispelled any ire I might have felt, for it was all but impossible to ever truly be angry with Aramis. There was too great a fondness and nostalgic tenderness in my heart to allow for such things. "I will rest for a few hours. Do not disturb him, I will have your hide if you waken him, sir." Bowing acceptingly, Aramis took up his post to guard the infant child all night long as I stepped into the side chamber to lay down for a while. I did not hear the dauphin cry at all for the rest of the night, for as it proved, Aramis would soothe him and keep him quiet so that I could continue to sleep, rocking his cradle and watching over him as the wetnurses came and went.
Come morning, I felt revitalised and refreshed, but upon realising that it was daybreak I rose with a rush of panic and hurried into the nursery only to find Aramis standing exactly where I had left him, gazing over little Louis as if the cradle was the treasure chest and the child the treasure. I exhaled with relief, then felt a rush of gratitude that Aramis had clearly allowed me the respite I had so desperately needed. I moved quietly to him, noticing that he had placed his hand into the cradle and little Louis was gripping his finger whilst sleeping.
Once at his side, I slipped my hands around his arm and rested my cheek against him, the top of my head only just coming to his shoulder. His other hand came to rest naturally over my own. "A strong grip," he whispered, and I hummed in agreement, thinking of my necklace and how the prince liked to pull upon it.
"Strong indeed, and a healthy pair of lungs also," Aramis chuckled softly. I felt him turn his head before his lips were pressed against my hair, the whisps of his beard gracing against my skin once more.
"Thank you, Madeleine. Thank you." For a moment I did not respond, feeling him kiss my head a second and even a third time to fully express the depths of his gratitude. I truly was far too soft on the man.
"Aramis," now that I was rested, I was finally able to think coherently, and so I looked to Aramis with a calm yet grave expression. "You know this cannot continue," I detested having to continually tell him so, to watch the light wither slightly in his gaze, but he needed to be told as many times as necessary until he understood. "But, at the very least you can be assured that if you cannot be beside him, I will be." Squeezing his arm gently, I kept my voice to a quiet whisper, words only for his ears. "I will protect him with my life, if necessary." Despite the agony the truth brought him, Aramis's features slackened upon hearing my words.
"You truly are a jewel amongst women, Madeleine." He murmured, and for a moment his gaze drifted over me with an expression which felt heatedly intimate, for it invoked a familiar flutter in my chest and a warmth to gather at my cheeks. "If my heart did not already love another, then doubtless it would have belonged to you." In truth, I was touched by his words. They instilled a sense of self-worth and value within me, one that I had long since neglected to nurture myself. Yet Aramis created a feeling of beauty so naturally that I did not even protest the fleeting notion. "May I ask…does your heart…do you…what I mean to say is…"
"Are you asking whether I still love you, Aramis?" Flinching slightly in guilt, he nodded mutely. Thankfully, my heart was so full and light that what might have once been a painful admission, was now nothing more than a pleasant memory which I carried within. "I shall always love you, for you are dear to me. I did not lie when I likened you to a brother, for that is how I truly feel." Untangling myself from his arm, I allowed myself to brush my thumb against the soft hairs of his face. "Yes Aramis, my heart harbours feelings of love for you, but they are different from what they used to be. I am not in love with you, I simply love you as the wonderful man you are. Does this satisfy your conscience? I will not have you feel guilt when it is unnecessary." As if I had lifted the heaviest weight from his shoulders, I felt the rushing exhale of Aramis's breath as his posture went lax in relief.
Taking my hand which rested against his face, he curled his fingers into mine and turned until he could place another familiar kiss upon my palm. "I am honoured that you once loved me as a man, Madeliene, and I am further honoured to be blessed with your affections still, despite my mistakes and shortcomings." Peppering kisses to my hand, trailing them up my arm until I was giggling, Aramis even kissed my neck which forced me to clamp my hand over my mouth to stifle a squeal as to not disturb little Louis who still yet slept. Finally, Aramis ended with a final yet firm kiss upon my smiling cheek, his hands holding me at my waist to draw me towards him. "The sentiment is most ardently returned, dearest Madeleine. I want you to know this. No matter whom else my heart loves or has loved, I want you to know that you shall forever stand chief amongst those whom I cherish, past and present."
"This silken charm of yours might yet sway my heart again, Aramis you fiend!" Still clutching at my mouth to stifle my giggles, Aramis expressed a grin before tickling at my waist, capturing me within his arms as he swept me into a twirl. If anyone were to walk in at that moment, we would have been caught in a most compromising position of proximity which would have set forth a tumultuous tirade of rumours, but thankfully, we remained undisturbed. "You are a raucous cad, a wild temptation, sir. I should cuff your ears."
"I shall bow to your wishes, my lady." Shaking my head, I had Aramis put me down, but still he lingered. Perhaps there was more he yet wished to convey, but the words escaped him. If he thought he had not fully expressed his own feelings towards me, then he was greatly mistaken. I understood. He saw me as I saw him. We were friends. Family. We would suffer hurt and pain for one another, and our devotion to each other ran deep. I cherished the musketeers greatly, and I was still certain that my heart had all but given itself to Porthos, but Aramis would always hold a special place in my heart. Mayhap it was the same for him. Somewhere in a safe, protected corner of his heart, was where I lived within Aramis forevermore.
"You should go now, before anyone else arises," murmuring gently, I took Aramis by the hand to bring him back to the cradle, allowing him to say goodbye to his son. I watched over them as Aramis leaned down and placed a small kiss upon little Louis's head, watching him for a few precious moments more until finally, I had to insist that he left. It tore at him to do so, but I sent him away with a smile and a promise that I would take care of the prince in his stead. It mollified him, for I knew he trusted me with that which was most important to him.
His son.