When I woke it was with a rush, startling in initial fear for the last of my memories had ended in pain. I made to bolt upright, but a gentle hand pressed against me and held me back, followed by a soft voice. "Lie still, little one. You have endured a great deal of hardship today." Recognising the voice immediately, it naturally brought a sense of reassurance and relief, allowing me to settle back upon the bed as I exhaled.

"Captain,"

"Not captain, not anymore." Treville reminded me. I heard the trickle of water splashing back upon itself before a damp cloth began to sponge at my arm and face intermittently, washing away the blood and dirt.

"You will always be the captain in my eyes." A brief touch brushed against my cheek before Treville began to inspect the cut upon my arm. "What is happening out there? Is Jeanne…?"

"She is safe. Porthos and Aramis brought her back from the baron's hunting lodge. You have slept for quite some time, it will be dark soon." Gladdened to hear that Jeanne was safe, I slowly began to turn upon my side so that the captain could more easily access my arm, which he promptly wrapped in a linen bandage. "Unfortunately, I do not have your talent for sewing wounds, little one. If it requires stitches, I can have Aramis tend to you?"

"No, it will heal without stitches, the whip simply caught me well." Hearing this, Treville's jaw set itself into a hardened grit.

"We will make them pay for harming you, Madeleine. This is a line they should never have dared cross."

"It is fortunate then that the musketeers have sent their very best…including their captain." Chuckling softly, Treville brushed at my hair. He asked if I wanted to rest further, but I could hear the crowds of voices down below and wanted to rise. Renard would not accept defeat so readily, and with the added insult of losing Jeanne as his prize, then he would no doubt return. We had to make ready before then. Getting up, Treville helped me when I felt feeble, for my body still ached, but not as much as before.

The ambiance of the tavern was welcoming and rejuvenating. Upon seeing me the villagers cheered and saluted their drinks, several rushing to greet me and tell me how bravely I had fought back against the baron and his men. They seemed impressed that I was willing to use my fists to protect them, for they seemed to think the hands of a lady to be precious appendages. I thanked them quietly, still limping slightly but I had seen Jeanne, and now I wanted to speak with her.

She caught sight of me also and immediately veered towards me, pushing through the thick throng of people before we were before one another. "Are you alright? Tell me they did not hurt you, I am so sorry Jeanne, I promised I would put a stop to all of this…" but Jeanne only laughed and poured me a drink, assuring me that she had been rescued before any harm could befall her and that I need not apologise so profusely.

"You tried to snatch me back yourself, and your friends told me that even after you escaped, you tried to continue after me even when you were hurt. It is me who should thank you. It feels good to have our lady defending her people once again." A wealth of warmth flowed through me, and it was not because of the drink.

"It is my honour, and my privilege. I promise, I will not forget such responsibility again." Satisfied with my promise, Jeanne dashed off to serve more rounds of drinks, leaving me to my own. As Treville moved past me he pulled lightly for me to join him and I naturally followed his direction, finding Aramis and Porthos already sat at a table. Aramis promptly offered me his seat.

"It is good to see you up and about, sweet Madeleine, we were all very worried for you," he told me as Aramis took my hand to kiss it lightly. "How are your injuries?"

"All superficial, merely a little tender when I walk. Or breathe. Or move. Or…anything really." Although he laughed, there was a hint of anger in Aramis's eyes as he gazed at me. They all treated me delicately, as if fearing just the slightest tap might cause me to shatter. I knew attempting to reassure them that I was well would only convince them further that I was not, so I simply bore myself upright and enjoyed the taste of my drink whilst determinedly avoiding looking at Porthos.

He, on the other hand, was studying me closely. Enough so that I began to flush slightly from the awareness of his gaze. Thankfully he did not say anything, accepting my silence as a sign that I was not yet ready to speak with him. At least I did not have to endure the sole attention for long, as Athos eventually entered the inn with d'Artagnan and a rush of silence overfell the previously merry villagers. Without acknowledging the turn of atmosphere, Athos made his way to our table and sat himself down beside me.

At first he said nothing. His entire focus was upon me where he pulled aside my hair to look upon my injuries, lifting my arm also to see the bandage which was only faintly seeping with blood. A quiet rage burned beneath his calm exterior, but I could feel it. I felt it even in the tender touch of his fingers against my face and the brotherly kiss he placed upon my brow. At least he had satisfied himself that I was relatively alright, so he could now address the villagers as they continued to stare at him silently. "It's true, I left without a word," he finally admitted. "And true, I never gave a thought to your fate. But you have made my absence a reason to surrender responsibility for your own lives."

"What future do we have without the protection of a lord?" Jeanne questioned, attempting to reason with Athos who had all but given up hope and any intention of reclaiming his title. "What choice when our lives are not our own?"

"Then take Renard," my brother answered rather coldly and carelessly. "Let him have the land and you with it. Exchange one noble name for another." I smacked the back of my hand against him with a scolding look. He shared a look with me, mutely arguing with one another as we attempted to persuade each other to take up our own cause. Eventually, Athos gave up. "Your attachment to my family is touching, but it is no longer practical."

"This land belongs to you," unable to believe her ears, Jeanne looked at my brother as the villagers' spirits wilted upon his words.

"It can rot for all I care." A surge of anger took me and I found myself standing, acting impulsively as I towered over Athos who looked to me with alarm at my sudden motion.

"These lands are their home, brother, do not dismiss their livelihood so readily. It is unfair to them," wishing I could snap some sense into him, or at least the faintest inclination of duty to those who called him lord, I exhaled in exasperation. "And…even if you do not wish to remember…it was once our home too." Immediately he looked away from me. "Brother, it is our duty to protect them."

"I am no longer their lord…"

"Regardless of what you say or believe, that is how they see you!" Allowing my voice to rise, I flung out my hand to gesture to the villagers who were now watching me. "One does not choose a title, they are born to it, and that is the role we have been cast upon. You and I are noble by blood, but even if you abdicate your title it does not absolve you of your responsibility to their welfare. We have abandoned and neglected them for too long, and I have allowed myself to hide behind your sorrow and grief…I will do so no longer." Despite the pain it caused me, I drew myself to my full yet still unimpressive height, regarding my brother as he continued to refuse to look at me. "I have not forgotten our noblesse oblige." Suddenly my brother surged to his feet and we were standing toe to toe, faces as close as humanly possible without touching.

"Do not test me, Madeleine." He warned, but I did not fear him. I knew my brother would never harm me intentionally, so I stood my ground.

"Do not underestimate me, sir." For a moment, Athos held his stance, glaring heatedly upon me until finally I felt the rush of his breath fan against my face. He stepped back and dragged a hand through his hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Treville and the others ease their tension from where they had been ready to spring upon Athos.

"If you care so much for their welfare, then perhaps you should lead them. Be their lord, do whatever you want. I do not care." I presumed Athos only to be joking, so I haughtily folded my arms as I watched him sink back into his seat.

"Very well, I shall. I am a legitimate heir to the title, after all." A murmur rippled through the villagers, but nothing more was said on the matter. Instead an uncomfortable silence followed which I did not know how to break, but thankfully Treville seemed to notice my unease and rose to stand.

"Listen to me, all of you," he commanded their attention effortlessly, bringing the eyes of the villagers upon him as he addressed them all. "In any war, you have two choices. You can sue for peace on the best terms you can get, or you can fight." Walking amongst them, Treville looked upon their faces. Some cowered, some rose up, but most remained motionless. "If you choose to fight, we will stand with you," he vowed, which gave some a little more hope. "But ask yourselves, is your cause worth dying for?"

"We're dying already." Bertrand answered simply, another villager moving forwards to ask how they could fight against Renard and his soldiers when they themselves were not. Treville seemingly had already prepared his answers, for he answered seamlessly.

"You are defending your homes, your children…your lives. You have something worth fighting for. Do they?" Allowing his words to settle upon their minds, Treville moved towards the door to leave, speaking as he went. "If you choose to make a stand, be here at sun up." The door swung closed behind him, and a collective breath seemed to be released.

"What do we do, little miss?" Bertrand asked me fretfully as Jeanne appeared at my side.

"You must decide for yourselves, I cannot command you to offer your own lives, for risking them you certainly shall." Placing my hand upon Jeanne's arm, I squeezed softly in an expression of friendship. "But I will stand against our enemy, and should any of you desire to do the same…then it would be my greatest honour to fight alongside you. I will defend you all to my last breath, on that you have my sincerest vow." A few smiles and cheers arose, but they were subtle and still laced with a great amount of ominous fear. I decided to leave also, it was too close in here and I was struggling to hold my nerve. I did not want for anyone to see me anxious, for it would only lower their morale further. I left and promptly began to walk, thinking I would perhaps look at our defences. At least it was something to do, and it was practical. We would have to make barricades, shore up the defences to protect the village as much as possible.

Yet even as I walked, memories began to resurface. Thomas had brought me to the village many times, me riding with him upon his horse until he had gifted me my own pony. I had ridden that fat little thing with such overwhelming pride that Thomas had laughed and bowed before me as if I were a queen. I recalled the market days and the influx of traders which would come here, how I used to listen to Athos speak to the merchants and the villagers to keep abreast of all the goings on in the village.

He had so readily offered his help, sometimes he had been found working in the fields if hands were short. Once I had tried to help him, but had cut myself upon a sickle blade and had been forbidden from doing so again. My hand ran against one of the newer buildings, recalling that Athos had helped build it himself. These wooden beams were placed in part by him, nailed down with the intent to serve his people however he was able. Thinking of him before Milady, it pained me to think of him so drastically changed. Given half the chance, I should think he would be halfway back to Paris by now.

All thought of this place invoked bad memories for him, but for me, now that I had had time to grieve and mature from the pain of losing Thomas and being forced to take care of my own life, the agony had lessened, and the fonder memories were returning without the twinge of guilt, pain or hate. I loved our home. Part of me wished I had never left. Even if it meant Athos would never have returned, at least I would have been here for our people, and perhaps they would not have suffered because of Renard.

Having come to a halt to rest for a moment, I heard someone approaching me from behind. I did not need to look to know who it was, I could tell by their step. Porthos. I listened him approach cautiously, moving slowly as not to startle me or cause me to flee. I chose to remain, partly because my leg was giving me too much trouble to make a quick escape, and partly because I wanted to hear him. I had missed Porthos, even whilst angry with him. Even as my heart pulsed with hurt and indignation against the words he had said to me, I still craved his nearness. He stopped a pace or so behind me. "Madeleine," his deep voice caused my spine to tingle, my pulse quickening with a jolt. "Aramis told me what happened that night. What we said. What I said." This sent an icy chill through me.

Slightly turning my head to indicate that I was listening, I heard Porthos take another step closer to me, his mellow voice wrought with guilt and regret. "Those words you said to me didn't make sense, but I know you don't use words without them having a meaning, so I asked. He told me about that night and how you had heard us talking, saying bad things about you we shouldn't have." I gave no answer, only continued to remain still. "Madeleine…I can't tell you how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you like that, and you have to know I don't think that at all, you're…"

"Please, at least give me the courtesy to be truthful from now on, Porthos." Stopping him before he could say that taboo word, beautiful, I maintained my composure despite the agonising chaos my heart was tormenting me with. "I know my looks are nothing to inspire poetry or ballads, so do not try to compliment me in a manner I will never accept as truth." Turning my head a little more, I risked a glance behind me but he was just beyond my periphery. "The matter is done, I have long since laid it to rest. I made peace with Aramis and our friendship is better for it, and I never thought ill of you for what was spoken. Please, just let the matter lie."

"Alright, but I'll feel guilty about it for the rest of my life." Blandly I smiled, recognising the softness of Porthos' nature.

"That is why I never wanted you to know," silence descended, and neither of us broke it for a long time. I could sense Porthos thinking, trying to decide what next to say, and so I gave him the time he needed. I was in no rush, for there was nowhere for me to go and no real duty to attend to. The light had faded to give way to night, and now the moon was gracing the night sky with her serene resplendence. I gazed upon her, distracting myself in admiration for her natural beauty of pure light until Porthos spoke again.

"Then, are you still angry about what I said before? About you marrying someone?" My peacefulness was broken, and the pulse of anger returned. I allowed the cold silence to be my answer, and Porthos recognised it as an affirmation. "I didn't mean it like it sounded, Madeleine."

"Then how did you mean it?" Finally I turned to face him, wanting to end this little charade once and for all, as my heart could no longer bear the discord between us. "What did you mean to say, Porthos, when you told me that me being married was enough to make you shudder? When you said that you could never imagine me being able to marry anyone? How did you think I would translate your words? You all but insinuated that I was undesirable and repulsive. That no man would ever want to touch me. That no one…" cutting myself short, I clamped my hands over my face to hide it from view.

"It just…came out wrong. You know?"

"But it hurt, Porthos. It hurt so much, more than I hurt now." I did not mean to make him feel more guilty than he already did, but I just had to speak the truth. Too often I kept my silence upon things I disagreed with or hurt my feelings, so much so that now I could hardly keep myself under control. I wanted to scream, to throw myself upon Porthos and beat him, but I did not. I could not. For no matter how much agony I was in, I did not want to inflict it upon the man I loved.

"What can I do to fix this? I'll do anything, I just don't want to lose you, Madeleine love. You're important to me." I almost smiled, but it wasn't enough to fix everything as he wanted.

"You just do not understand, Porthos…"

"What don't I understand? Tell me, sweetheart. I'll make this right." The endearing truth was that I knew that he would. Porthos would have circled the world twice over if it meant he would be restored into my affections, such was his nature. The desire to speak what I truly wanted danced upon the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it back. We were at the vital point in a game, where the next move decided the entire outcome. Victory? Or defeat. Depending upon how I answered, I could effortlessly restore the friendship between myself and Porthos, and we could return to the way things were.

However…thinking about going back only made my heart ache all the more. It was the same with Aramis. At some point, no matter how deep my feelings, I decided to let go. To surrender. In order to let go of the feelings I held for Porthos I had to confess, and then walk away. Eventually the feelings would succumb to a gentler emotion, one I could more easily contain. It had with Aramis, however I feared that it might not be the same with Porthos, as my feelings for him ran far deeper, and felt more genuine than anything else I had ever experienced. Compared to Porthos, Aramis had been nothing but a fleeting fancy. I felt as if I was about to crack wide open and burst like a river flooding its banks. "Porthos," my throat was dry with an intolerable itch, but no amount of swallowing would ease the discomfort. "Do you understand why your words hurt me so deeply?" Under the moonlight, the strong features of his face were softened by the silver glow.

His brow furrowed as he thought deeply, puzzling over my question. "You indicated that no man would ever want to marry me. Do you realise how much those words pained me…when they came from the man I am in love with?" For a moment, my words did not register. There was no change in his expression, only deep concentration. My words filtered through a few moments later, when suddenly Porthos snapped his head up to stare at me, his entire face slackening from the shock. I was glad for the moonlight, for it hid the vibrant flush of my face. I waited for him to answer. I waited for several long minutes. Eventually, I realised that we would be standing there for hours unless I prompted him. "Say something, please." I loathed how pitiful I sounded.

My urging worked, however, as Porthos stuttered and seemed to sway slightly, having to press his hand against the side of the house to steady himself as he continued to gape at me. "I…I always…I thought you were in love with Aramis," he finally stuttered, which was not what I had hoped to hear, but then again, I had hardly dared allowed myself hope in the first place. "You two are always…I mean…it just seemed…I assumed…"

"Whatever I felt for Aramis before was little more than the girlish fancies of a young, impressionable child. We have spoken of our feelings and resolved ourselves to being dear friends to one another, but nothing more. I do not think I was ever truly in love with Aramis. Not as I am with you." I added the last part to remind Porthos of what I had told him, for it was a rather crucial detail that he seemed to be either missing or avoiding.

"You…you're…I mean…" seeing that he was floundering and did not know what to say, I finally gave up the hope that I might receive the answer which would have made me happier than anything in the world.

"It is alright, Porthos," speaking gently, I moved towards him and touched his hand. He continued to stare unblinkingly at me. "I know that you do not love me in return, it is alright. I only tell you now because I can no longer bear the pressure these feelings weigh against my heart. You deserve the truth, wholly and unreservedly, and so when we walk away from one another, the air will be cleared…and we can return to being simple friends." Looking upon him with utter adoration, I allowed my hand to linger upon his face, shaping his features absently before finally, I lowered my hand to my side. "Goodnight, dear Porthos." Having released him, I began to walk away, limping slightly on my leg.

"Since when?" Surprised, I looked back with a confused blink, the moonlight casting us half into shadow.

"Pardon?" Making after me, Porthos halted when he was directly in front of me and grasped at my arm, holding me with an intensity I was not accustomed to, as it bordered upon desperation.

"Since when did you have feelings for me?" Casting my mind back, I saw bright lights and recalled the sumptuous smells of a feast, costumes vibrant and outlandish in every direction…and Porthos dancing with me under the stars.

"Since we danced," I whispered softly. "At the ball." Although it seemed impossible, Porthos' eyes widened all the more. He still seemed utterly shocked, and so I became desperate to leave so that we could both have time to ourselves and think. "I realised that I could not imagine a day in my life without you there. You bring me such joy as no other, and I feel safe whenever I am with you. You put my soul at ease, Porthos, and these are only the first of a long list of reasons why I fell for you." Embarrassed by my candidness, I gently removed my arm from his grasp and this time, he did not stop me from going.

I walked into the moonlight, where I turned my face to her luminescent glow and prayed the serene peace of her gaze would quell the trembling of my own heart.