The First Few Days

...17/02/2023, at 1 o'clock in the afternoon...

I am taken aback when my carer contacts me with news about the first attackers having been sighted in the city. However, there is no evidence that they are attempting to attack people in this town, as has been the case in many other locations. That means I am currently on standby duty.

There's a big event for me in about a week's time: 100 new-build cameramen should be ready by then! I'm already beside myself with joy. I'm getting fellows, companions, friends, conspecifics!

…

Subsequently, another human colleague of mine, who is based in this building, entered my room. He presented me with a YouTube video on a tablet that documented the behaviour of a Skibidi Toilet. (The presence of a human head in a toilet does prompt a number of conundrums regarding anatomy. Certain questions will involuntarily arise, which the gentle reader will probably be able to guess).

It was a rather large entity, somewhat unusual in appearance and sang a strange remix of some memesong earworm. The creature was constantly echoing its weird song, chanting as if it wanted to send a message, or worse, spread propaganda, through the power of iteration. Singing repeatedly, contorting itself abnormally and grinning creepily, it destroyed and devastated the city. I was disgusted by the mere sight and could not explain what it was, nor where it came from, nor how it could even live and move around. The video already had over 22 million views, and it had only been online for 13 minutes. Disaster-affine YouTube algorithm...

My human mate showed me another video, this time from our town, of a smaller Skibidi Toilet. It was kinda cool to watch it doing its 'natural thing' because it was (still) harmless. If we hadn't had the references, it would have been downright amusing. But as it was, the laughter got stuck in our throats and the relaxed mood didn't really want to emerge, even with his bottle of beer and my can of oil. 'Skibidi dop dop dop yes yes...' I just can't get it out of my head!

Half our team came together the next day. Again, we were shown a video that also had amassed a huge number of views in an incredibly short space of time. I've forgotten the title, it was pretty absurd. Something about 'Girl Toilet' or any.
In the video you could of course see Skibidis again, in a lift this time. In a lift? Yes, I can't explain it either. That's why I think it's fake. These things were singing their iconic song, contorting themselves and grinning stupidly. There were three urinals next to each other, the one in the centre was empty, until a head appeared there too, now with a green wig. He (or she?) sang something else: 'We're here to hurt nobody'. But I don't think so...
Anyway, did this toilet head somehow die? I know that sounds pretty daft and, as I said, I think it's fake. In another version you can hear the following text: 'Oh, help me please, somebody!' Frightening.
The following movie night pleasantly dispersed us, so we dragged it out.

Day 3

It's starting to get really dangerous. Another transmission, the monsters do their obligatory thing. People are evacuated or run aimlessly through the alleyways. They seek shelter, which they can no longer find in their burning houses. Combat helicopters are deployed, sirens wail in the background. An end-time setting like something out of a war film.
Elsewhere, the invaders have actively run over people. Please don't ask me how they could manage that. I don't know exactly myself. Like a marching army of monsters in larger and smaller versions, they glide along the (six-lane!) main road and take up the entire carriageway. Unfortunately, our armed forces are not yet ready, only the 'organic' ones from the government. My future comrades are resting gently in the production hall and have no idea of what lies ahead of them.

A week later...

The day before yesterday my mates were finished and I was gleefully excited so much that I forgot to make an entry here! As the fourth day of entries, I'm making up for it.
Contrary to my expectations, we are not all quite the same. I've seen some robots with black cameras and/or red ties. There will definitely be a great variety of colours. My friends are now going into military training and, like me, are being familiarised with humans.
The next batch will bring 900 new units! My builders told me that they also want to endeavour to create different sizes and personalities. A new base, the Cameraman HQ, is also in the works. We won't be able to fit all the people in here. I watch the supply lorries with excitement as they are transported. These are the body parts of my future comrades-in-arms!
But even this joy is soon spoilt: the Skibidi toilets did storm a restaurant! Hopefully we can help soon.

Entries 5 to 6

I am summarising these entries from the beginning of March 2023 due to their brevity. Not much worth mentioning has happened during this time, and I'll refrain from banalities.
A new video of our opponents did the rounds, recorded in a suburb of our city. The beasts were already able to fly and the large representatives were spitting out smaller ones! How are we supposed to defeat them? And how do they even do that? Nobody would believe me if they didn't see it with their own eyes. There was a Skibidi Toilet disco!

7th entry

...is from the middle of March. Some of the new units have been mobilised. We came to a truly significant realisation in battle: the monsters can be killed simply by flushing them down the toilet. However, this does not make the fight any less dangerous. Some attackers are just too big for it. We got to see the suspected leader today. He resembled an FBI agent (colloquially known as G-Man) and had a deep, menacing voice.

8th entry

The government has provided us with support equipment in form of transport vehicles. Perhaps this will give us a chance against the overpowering enemy army. But if we don't re-equip immediately, I don't see much chance for our side.
The horror has taken on a different dimension since I witnessed the whole thing first hand. I had to watch as one of these beasts killed two of my colleagues. Hopefully they will be repaired.

R.I.P. Cameraman_013 and Cameraman_015

Day 9

I saw two Skibidi Toilets in front of a statue consisting of a tall pedestal with a golden toilet on top and the familiar likeness on the front. They both seemed to be paying homage to this statue and were singing their song in their usual manner. As I flushed one, the other fled. At least 20 cm, until it also fell victim to me. I had been given a can of spray paint to show the people still wandering around that we are there to protect them. We also used it to inform our mates so that they knew which areas our side had already regained control of. However, it often didn't stay that way for long.

But it still felt good to tick something off after the work was done, which is also what the spraying is for. So I varnished our camera logo directly onto the toilet portrait. It looks so much better in my humble opinion. Plain and simple, round and double-framed, with a surveillance camera on a monochrome red background.
Another cameraman, who had done the same thing, was chased by these critters, but didn't care much and only fled at the last moment, hopping. The hostile subjects that had 'infested' this area looked a bit like policemen, which once again I can't explain. I've stopped wondering about anything by now. The only thing that is still normal are actual moving cars. There are a handful of people here who are trying to continue their previous lives at all costs. But there are fewer and fewer of them, as superseding no longer helps.