He knew he was different, from the first moment he could remember, even without the more obvious traits. His father would remark that he was special, the best thing he had ever gotten his hands on; best deal he ever made. That wording sounded off to him, but he couldn't figure out why. He also didn't know why he didn't have a mom. He knew it was a normal part of a family, but for as far as he could remember it was only him and his dad.
He had asked his dad about the absence of his mother, but it was pushed off instead being asked if he thought his dad wasn't doing a good enough job on his own. He didn't want to upset his dad, he really was doing a great job looking after him. So after a while he stopped asking even though it was an answer he desperately wanted.
It wasn't his dad's fault he was sick and needed almost weekly visits to see the doctors to have his blood drawn. He didn't feel sick, but who was he to question his dad? His father never gave him any reason to worry and if he was good his dad let him pick out a new toy.
His father was wealthy and wasn't shy giving him everything he wanted, all the toys, books and games he wanted but even money couldn't seem to buy everything. Things like friends or company, or even a mom.
They lived close to the ocean, one of the only things he could see from the large house they stayed at. It wasn't just the two of them in the house, if you could even call it that. It was bigger than any house he could think of and the others called it a live-in lab. There were a lot of scientists and doctors that lived with them too, probably because he was so sick. But he liked having so many others around even if they were all adults. Most didn't bother with him, but there was one lady that he liked seeing. Her name was Hilda. She was a scientist, and he loved that she would talk about her family a lot. She had kids that were about his age apparently, but they went to school. He didn't have that luxury, but Hilda always answered whatever questions he asked her, even if the answer didn't make too much sense to him.
She never liked seeing the little needle holes on his arm, though he healed really quickly, they usually were gone by the next day. He liked her because it seemed she was the only one that cared about him, and would ask him how his day was. His father never did, he was rarely around, only on days they did tests. He was never allowed to see what kind of tests they did but they must have been hard, the results never being what they wanted. His dad would usually yell at the head lab tech about it, though they used words that were too big for him to understand.
But today he knew there was going to be a test, he knew it because he was counting down the days to see his dad again. Today he was determined to spend as much of the day with him as he could.
He sat impatiently in his room almost vibrating in anticipation. He knew if his dad was watching, he would be proud. It took him a lot of practice but he had learned to keep his little tail hidden. Even his ears and little antlers had not made an appearance in awhile. Had his tail been out it would have been twitching with his anticipation, but dad didn't want anyone to see him like that. He said people would think he was some kind of monster. The thought made him sad. He wasn't a monster, only half human apparently. He didn't fully understand, but his dad promised to explain it better when he was older, said it was why he didn't want to discuss his mother.
As soon as the door opened he launched himself at his dads legs, the man dressed in his usual blue business suit.
He knew children were supposed to look like their parents but he shared no similarities with his dad, the two were almost opposites. It was another reason he wanted to know about his mom. He must have gotten his looks from her. Maybe she could explain the ears and tail he was supposed to keep hidden. Did she have them too?
"Xander, have you been a good boy?"
His smile pulled as high as he could manage looking up at his dad. "Of course dad."
His dad patted his head with a small chuckle before he knelt down to get to the boy's face level. "I have some things I need to attend to first, but after that's done, we can sit down and have lunch together okay? Whatever you want."
He nodded eagerly. He already knew what he was going to ask for. He loved venison, and even though his dad usually didn't allow him to have it much, days they spent time together his dad would usually let him indulge a bit. He never found it odd that his dad just watched as he ate, finding something else for himself later. Adults did their own thing and he found it best not to ask, it was usually a boring answer.
He was rewarded with another head pat that tousled his mousy brown hair, before his smile slipped watching his dad stand and turn to leave. It was now or never, his little plan now set in motion.
As the door was about to close he kicked the toy he had purposely placed close by, into the gap before it clicked shut. He waited as long as his little impatient mind could handle before he peaked out the gap watching as a group of people disappeared around the corner. With a quick breath and more effort than he thought he needed, he pulled the door open enough for him to slip out and carefully followed the adults down the hall.
The longer he followed the more unsettled he started to feel. They were going into the adult section of the building, a part he didn't know and he was afraid of getting lost. Surely there was a reason he wasn't supposed to be in this part, but as he blindly followed the three adults down what seemed like endless hallways he thought maybe this wasn't so bad. Would his dad be really mad if he got caught? It's not like there was anything here he wasn't supposed to see, just numerous doors and hallways it seemed.
He wasn't too happy about the hint of guilt slipping into his chest about disobeying his dad. He swallowed the feeling, pushing it down. He had gone to all this effort, he wasn't going to back down now. He wanted to know what all this testing was about. He clenched his fist at his side, a determined scowl set on his face as he turned the next corner only to have to scramble back. They had stopped at a red door with warnings posted all over it. That looked more like what he was expecting.
One of the men with his dad pulled a syringe out of a small black pouch he had been carrying with him. The liquid inside was hard to see but from this distance it looked really dark, like melted chocolate or maybe more like his own blood. He had it drawn once a week; it was something he had seen often. He knew it was a little different than his dads. His dads was darker too on the few occasions he had seen it. Accidents in the kitchen and what not, but his was very dark, almost black. His dad said it was why they needed to test it so much. He said it should be more red, but it was nothing to worry about, despite the unpleasant looks and bulky suits the scientist wore when they handled it.
His dad gave the man a nod and the three adults opened the door, stepping into the room.
Xander pushed as fast as his little legs could push him to reach the door before it clicked shut, but he was nowhere near fast enough. He gave the door a pout wishing his dad treated him like an adult. He wasn't such a little kid anymore, he could deal with whatever was going on behind the red door. He was growing up fast, or at least that's what his dad and the doctors all said. He had heard hushed whispers of it being 'odd', 'unnatural', 'concerning', but they never asked him about it and his dad wasn't worried. It was just something else to add to the list of things to ask his mom. Or his dad later hopefully. Even Hilda didn't have that answer.
A panicked cry left his lips as he scrambled back from the door with such force he fell back on to the floor.
There was screaming. Very loud and pained screams of a man coming from the other side of the door. There was a voice he didn't recognize.
"Please! No! It's not ready! It's killed everyone it's touched, this is something we shouldn't be meddling with! That child is the devil incarnate!"
Another loud scream had Xander scuttling back further away from the door hitting the wall on the opposite side of the hall, his body trembling at the sounds. His poor sensitive ears could hear the sobs, the pleas for it to stop. He didn't know what could cause such distress, but he wanted it to stop just as much as the crying man.
"Keep an eye on him, let me know how long this one lasts and don't forget to take a sample when you're done."
There were more screams and he couldn't hold the tears that slipped from his face. He shouldn't have come, he shouldn't have followed, his dad was right, this was not something he was ready for. He didn't think he'd ever be ready for whatever was beyond that door. His stomach was heavy and he fought hard not to puke. His dad was normally angry after these tests, but how could he want to continue with them if they sounded like this? Was it just as bad to watch? He didn't want to think about it.
More screams followed by naughty words filled the room, seemingly echoing in the space.
"Fuck you Tucker! You and that kid are going to ROT in Hell!
He was the only child in the building, who else would they be talking about? There was something wrong with him. Somehow this was his fault and he didn't even know why. He didn't want that man screaming in pain. Was it because he followed the adults when he wasn't supposed to? Tears burned his eyes, making the hallway blurry. He didn't mean to, he was a good boy, like he had told his father. He would be extra careful from now on if it meant the man stopped hurting.
The door latch started to turn and Xander squeezed his eyes closed. He wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow him up, to slip into the shadows and disappear from sight. Away from the red door, away from the tortured screams, away from the trouble he knew was coming for being where he wasn't supposed to be.
He had always listened to his father, always did as he asked. He tried really hard not to be any trouble. Of course being a kid meant he was curious and on a few occasions he had endured his father's wrath. He was a bit scary when he was mad. Even a bit mean. He did what he could to avoid it at all costs. But this was something else, this was something that wasn't going to go away. He would have to write this man an apology letter and slip it under the door.
He wanted to see Hilda, to be wrapped in the comfort of her arms, her whispered voice telling him it was okay. He wished he hadn't been curious. She would know what to say, maybe even help him write that letter.
"Xander?"
The sound of heels clicking across tile floors had him opening his eyes. None of the adults that went through the red door were female. None of them would be wearing heels.
Xander looked up to find he was no longer in the hallway, now sitting in the little doctor's office where he had his blood drawn every week. He couldn't speak, the sound of screams still ringing in his ears, his voice choked with sobs and the occasional spit bubble.
It was Hilda that had found him. A small part of him was grateful, it's exactly what he wanted, but the realization of what had happened killed the feeling in his gut. No, his dad was going to be even more mad now. He wasn't supposed to shift in the shadows. Humans don't do that, he was supposed to keep it a secret and now he had just shifted in front of Hilda.
He reached his arms out for the woman, not caring about the repercussions right now. All he wanted was to be held, to feel like everything was going to be okay. To add to his heart break he found Hilda staring at him with eyes wide, mouth slightly agape not moving to comfort him. Was it because he shifted before her? He didn't mean to, it was an accident, he was usually really good at keeping it hidden and under control.
Another choked sob escaped him, reaching out further, eyes pleading for some sort of reassurance. After what felt like ages, but could have only been a few moments she took a few steps closer, not reaching out for him, but squatting down to meet him on the floor.
"Xander?"
He nodded, pulling his hands back, getting the hint she wasn't going to touch him. He was a monster; the devil incarnate. He didn't even know what that meant but it clearly wasn't a good thing.
"What has gotten you so upset?"
She hesitantly reached out her hand brushing against something on his head. It took a few seconds for him to realize, through his little panic he had lost control of his form. He felt his ear flick against her hand and she let out a little gasp, drawing her hand back quickly.
She was watching him very closely, almost hesitantly like she was unsure of him. She had never reacted like that before, she was always welcoming and open and now she would probably flee like most of the others did when he walked by. Afraid of him. Afraid of the monster he didn't even ask to be. He didn't want to be like this, it wasn't his fault. He was trying to be good, to be human like everyone else.
He took a few breaths, squeezing his eyes shut again trying to focus on getting himself back under control. His dad wouldn't be happy if he found out he let his non-human form slip. It was dangerous if someone else saw it. There was another little gasp from Hilda that brought him back to the room.
She reached forward pulling his hair aside down to the scalp apparently looking for his ears that were no longer there.
"Xander is that…how did you…?"
Before he could respond, the door to the office banged open revealing his dad, who looked both angry and relieved to see him. He flipped between Xander and Hilda, who had stood, putting herself between the two before realizing who it was.
"Xander what did I say about wandering off on your own?"
His gaze turned down trying to hold back the tears he thought he had gotten control of. His dad said men don't cry and if he was ever going to be taken seriously he'd have to stop them, but right now he didn't care. Whatever happened behind that red door was going to be something he'd have nightmares of.
"Not to," He finally mumbled.
His father gestured for him to lead the way and he slowly shuffled himself out the door. He didn't complain or care that it closed behind him, leaving the two adults to talk. He didn't know why he was sent out, it's not like he couldn't still hear them. His dad probably forgot he had good hearing, he had heard a lot of things he was apparently not supposed to know.
"Hilda…"
"Don't you 'Hilda' me Sir. Whatever you did had that poor boy shakin' like a leaf. Not to mention the…" She fell silent.
"I assure you I did nothing, the boy snuck out of his room."
"Well the poor thing is absolutely horrified. I have never seen him like that with the… the…" Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Ears."
His dad let out a low growl. "You would do well to keep your mouth shut."
"Why was that never addressed? What else are you keeping from the team? You have him playing pretend. We can't work with what we don't know."
There was a loud crashing sound that made Xander jump up from his seat against the wall.
"You are treading in very dangerous waters Mrs. Collins. I suggest you keep your head down for the next little bit. I'm sure your kids wouldn't want to become motherless."
There was the sound of a sob before the door was forced open again. Xander was only able to catch a glimpse of Hilda on the floor, a hand clutching her throat as a few tears slipped down her cheeks, before his father grabbed his arm, all but dragging him down the hall.
He looked up and saw his dad's gaze hard and focused on what was in front of him. His lip started trembling and he tried to keep the tears that had started all over again.
"It was an accident! I swear I didn't mean to! I'll be bett-"
SMACK
His hand flew to his cheek, a fresh wave of tears falling as the heat brought a prickly pain to his cheek. He was abruptly wretched to his father's front, who had now sat down on his hunches to glare at the boy.
"Mrs. Collins is one of the best in her field, a very hard person to replace. You will not be seeing her again. You will leave her to her work. Understood?"
He wanted to protest. No one else cared about him like she did and now he wasn't allowed to see her. He didn't mean to let his non-human form slip. She didn't think he was a monster, she even reached out to touch his ear, looking for them when he shifted back.
His arm was gripped tighter and he cried out, knowing it would bruise. It would only be bruised for a day or so, but it still hurt.
"Is that understood, Xander?"
He let out another sniveled breath before he nodded. He wasn't bothered when he didn't get his venison dinner, he didn't feel he deserved it anyway, instead given a simple rice and chicken soup.
He didn't leave his room until it was time to have his blood taken and to his surprise even after being three days later, there were still visible bruises on his arm where his father had grabbed him. None of the doctors asked about it and he didn't go find Hilda after either, simply returning to his room where not even sleep was comforting anymore. The sounds of pained and horrified screams still echoed in his mind. He really was a monster. No wonder everyone hated him.