Chapter 36: Can everyone just be Cool?

"Aaaah, this is heaven~"

-"Lapras!"

The pair had their 'fated meeting' only minutes before. A tear filled reunion between father and daughter, almost enough to make a Tyranatar cry. Currently however, they were busy basking in the praise of their peers and being cared for by a bunch of pretty, if oddly identical looking, nurses.

Ranger boy Riley came through it seems! Not only did most of the people from town come back to their old homes, but a corp of medical experts, engineers, and civil officers had appeared to help take much of the load off the already stretched thin pokemon in this area. The help was appreciated almost as much as the food and supplies they brought! Don't get me wrong now, nurse Chansey is the best of the best, but her homemade remedies aren't as effective as real medicine.

She was enjoying her own reunion and some much deserved R&R by the way. Just for anyone wondering.

The more injured of the warriors in The Cooler Crew were even getting a little pampering to help speed along their recovery! And seeing as Jessie was missing an arm, and had the benefit of being accompanied by the cutest little pokemon in the whole wide world, he was enjoying a bit of extra attention from this crew of beautiful lady doctors. And a few beautiful men to! Score!

Right now however, he and baby Lapras were enjoying a nice hot soak in an herbal bath. Who knew he had so many deep injuries that needed tending to? ...Probably literally any other Tentacool in his situation. But hey! He's new to this whole being made of jelly thing! How is he supposed to know what a bruised mantle feels like?

"You doing okay over there, big guy?"

-"Gyaaaaarados~" The big serpent was getting a deep scale scrub down, a welcome change after having to get used to swimming with his new body structure. It's lucky he didn't have to do too much moving in that fight... and also that Emperor's and Loafy's special training paid off. Using moves you've never had before perfectly on the first try is one thing. Using them when your prior evolution can't even learn them is a whole other matter!

"Enjoy it, Aurum. Tomorrow is filled with uncertainty, but today we dine on victory."

-"Gyaaa!"

"Yes friend, and also ham. Tasty tasty, medicine hidden in the middle, ham."

-"Gyara?"

"Don't worry about it!"

-"Scuse me, Jessie was it?" An older looking ranger comes over to Jessie's soaking tub.

-"Riley mentioned you were that... special pokemon? Well, we have someone here we'd like you to meet."

Jessie sinks his jelly body down into the tub, almost going flat against the bottom. Lapras, seeing her dad's face go reeeealy wide, thinks this is hilarious!

"No comprendo. Soy un pez."

-"Haha, I'll take those excited Tentacool noises as a yes! Well, I'll let you two finish your bath. But when you're done we'd like to have a word about your condition."

"Oh boy, can't wait... How close to the ocean do you think I'd get if I jumped out of this tub?"

-"Gya..."

*sigh* "Yeah, you're right. I have to face the music." Pulling himself up and waving to a nurse to help him into that cute little stroller/fish tank looking thing they use to move water pokemon around, Jessie turns to his little girl.

"If I come back walking on two legs, it's still me inside. I hope I don't scare you."

-"..." The mental image of a Todescool plapping around on it's silly tentacle feet runs through Lapras' mind, setting off another giggle fit.

"That's my girl. Stay strong for daddy." *sniffle*

'Oof, how am I gonna explain this one?'

'I'm currently lying down in a puddle of what remained of the tank carrier. Beside me, equally drenched, was a pokemon researcher, one Professor Holly, expert in all things related to pokemon who were once human. Or so she says, the faker!'

'Next to this big phony is a K.O.d Wartortle, sleeping off a head injury from that huge lighting fixture you see in warehouses. And also bars sometimes. You know the kind. A broken computer screen flickers, each time said Wartortle begins to disparate as though entering a pokeball, until he gets electrocuted once more and the process starts over again.'

'Keeping the poor fool from fading away and never facing his crimes again is my good old friend, Pichu! Though the continuous shocks are starting to wear her down as well. Pichu aren't known for their expert control of electricity, and the wet environment is making it that much harder to control.'

'But I digress.'

'Thinking back, I've always been unlucky this way... bah, I'll save that flashback for another time! This one is more important!'

*a few minutes earlier*

-"Hello, Mr. Jessie, my name is Professor Holly. I'm the one The Ranger Corp asked to come have a look at you."

"Ah, right. Yeah. Say, you wouldn't happen to understand poke-speech, would you?"

-"Thank you, they are nice eyebrows!"

"What?"

-"Now, back on point. I believe you and I should have a nice talk about the life of a human turned into a pokemon. It's truly an exciting thing, wouldn't you agree?"

"Exciting is one word for it."

-"So you agree! Well, as I said earlier, the rangers want me to cure you. Turn you back into a human. This is a fairly involved procedure, but it has been done before, to great success!"

"Oh, great..."

-"...Say, do you like being a pokemon?"

"Huh?"

-"I get it, you know? The reason we haven't gotten many procedures finished isn't because we aren't able to. It's because, generally speaking, people are just so much happier to be a pokemon than they are human."

"Y-yeah. I do get that. In fact-"

-"So you do get it! Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about! Clearly, you don't want to go back to being a human!"

"Huh? Hey, what do you-"

-"And I know for certain your friend in that pokeball doesn't want to go back either!"

"No no, it's probably best that that one goes back to being human."

-"I know exactly how you feel. Don't worry, I'll take all the heat. You two just go out and enjoy your new lives! As free pokemon!"

"Uh... okay? But seriously, this man is a criminal and I- PLEASE DON'T RELEASE HIM!"

-"Be free my poke-friends!"

*several seconds later*

-"WHY DOES HE NOT WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?!"

"WHO GIVES A SHIT? PICHU, HE'S GOING FOR THE PC! DON'T LET HIM TELEPORT!"

-"PICHUUUUU!"

*several more seconds later*

"Well, Riley is dead."

-"Pichu!"

"Okay, not dead dead, but actively throwing hands with a giant turtle can't be good for your health."

-"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa- ah." *faints*

"Oh good, she stopped screaming. Now we just need to contain-" The overhead lighting swings in an arc as one of it's chords is sliced through by a flying projectile, smashing the tank and nailing Wartortle in the head.

"DAMNIT AURUM! I LOVE YOU, BUT STOP THROWING THINGS UNTIL YOU LEARN TO CONTROL THAT BIG TAIL OF YOURS!"

-"GYAAAAA- G-Gyarados?"

"Not that way. As friends."

*nods understandingly* -"Dos... GYAAAAA-"

'And that about catches us up to the present! Oh yeah, and Riley found out Ms. Pokehuman expert was faking her qualifications before he... left. Apparently the first and only successful case of hers was when someone learned a "life lesson" or something and changed back on their own. She's been trying to recreate the miracle for 3 years.'

'She was banking on the fact that none of her prior patients were a psychic type or able to communicate with other people. Though she was telling the truth about very few of them actually wanting to turn back. But as far as her actual research goes, she has just about enough knowledge of how people become pokemon and how they "might" be turned back. Here's hoping her assistant returns in time to help us manage things before one of us faints.'

'Or dies from lack of water, in my case.'

*sigh* 'I just want to go to bed.'