Disclaimer: Anything that rings a bell belongs to J.K Rowling

Chapter Six: Filtered and Unfocused

Harry's POV (Ky's memory)

We were in Malfoy Manor. There was no other place I've ever been to that was as dark and beautiful. We stood in a long corridor, in complete silence, and I looked to my right shoulder, where Ky stood, my Ky…youthful in so many ways, full cheeks and untamed tresses and sun kissed skin even in gloomy wartime.

The almost full moon glistened through the long windows that bordered the corridor, and lunar light made her skin glow brighter, and her eyes shine. But it was not her pretty features that held my stare to her face.

It was an expression completely foreign to me - when I thought I had seen all the ways her lips curled and nose flared.

Ky was enraged.

Angrier than I have ever seen her, which was saying something, as I thought I was privy to all shades of her fury that year.

Suddenly, we could hear voices, and uselessly, I took a protective step in front of her, as I turned, noticing a patch of light produced from an opening door at the end of the corridor.

Teenage Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott stepped out, they wore twinned looks of boredom, Malfoy rolling his eyes as he whispered something to Nott, but Nott had completely frozen.

In record time he had noticed Ky down the corridor, and then so did Malfoy.

The patch of light on the corridor disappeared as Nott snapped the door shut with a flick of his wand.

They passed a glance between them that lasted only a second, and without a word of discussion, they launched forward, Nott's wand flinging silent spells as Ky ran at them.

Just as the boys reached us, for I was running along with Ky, I noticed the re-emergence of light on the corridor, the door they had magically closed, opening, but…

With a blink of the eye, the scene had changed.

Ron, Hermione and I winced at the familiar sound of a Caterwauling Charm going off. It was dark, and it took time for my eyes to adjust but I could make out muffled sounds, but I couldn't say where we were.

I narrowed my eyes, finally accustomed to the dark, and noticed that Nott and Malfoy had Ky pinned to a wall, and she struggled against them ferociously, and then suddenly, they vanished.

There was another snap, clearly someone had apparated nearby, but I couldn't see them, and then we all jumped at the arrival of Severus Snape.

"Who is there!" Shouted a voice.

Snape flicked his wand, and the wailing terminated, "It's me Rookwood. Like you should have expected. I told you not to set the alarm until my return."

"Sorry Severus, didn't expect you back. I thought you were away for all of Spring break."

"I have quick business to attend to at the castle. Don't set the alarm, I'll leave again soon. Now, about -" Their voices faded as they made their way up what I now recognized to be the High Street of Hogsmeade Village.

"Harry." Hermione whispered, beckoning me towards her as I was distracted by Snape. I followed her, finding Ky being ushered into the Hogs Head by Malfoy and Nott.

"Let go of me!" Ky shouted, pushing Malfoy off her, and I couldn't help feeling elated at this.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!"

"Watch your mouth, boy." Aberforth boomed down at Malfoy, who glared at the barkeep.

"Why'd you bring us here?" Malfoy looked at Nott, who stood over Ky who was now seated in a chair. It appeared that Nott had disarmed her, and I remembered the first silent spell he sent at her had been scarlet.

"Where else was I going to take her? I panicked, and I knew Snape was about to leave. Anyway, it worked out, thankfully Snape arrived just after us, so we had an excuse for the alarm going off."

"Thankfully!" Malfoy snapped, turning to Ky, "Thankfully. Fucking hell Thornton! What is wrong with you!" He screamed in her face and Aberforth stepped forward, "I know I know." Malfoy was scarlet in anger, he took a deep breath, "We need to get back."

Nott nodded, "You go, I'll follow in a few minutes." Malfoy narrowed his eyes at his friend, "They won't come looking for us. We said we were retiring for the night, it's not like they're going to come tuck us in. I'll follow soon, Draco."

Malfoy nodded, and with one last angry glare at Ky, the boy disappeared.

"Thanks for letting us in Aberforth." Nott offered the barkeep a small smile, they clearly had met before. I glanced at Hermione, and met Ron's eye on the movement, but she bore a clinical expression, setting all emotions aside so as to take in the memory as objectively as she could.

"Didn't bloody well have a choice." Aberforth shook his head down at Ky, receiving an eye roll from her. I had always wondered whether Ky knew that Aberforth was Dumbledore's brother, but she would not allow talk of her family in the early days after their death. Evidently, she did know, and they were familiar with each other, and with each new fact she became more of a stranger to me.

"Could we have a moment?"

Aberforth looked at Ky, waiting for her input on whether she wanted a moment alone with the boy. She nodded and the barkeep left.

"I'm going to release you now and give you back your wand. You going to behave?"

"Yes." Ky bit out, clearly annoyed.

"Maybe I'll just release you for now." Nott smirked. Ky's shoulders relaxed; he must have had her on a binding curse that had her stuck to the chair. Nott pulled a chair, sitting facing her with his legs crossed, looking at her.

"What was the plan? You barge into the Manor with the element of surprise and kill Professor Snape, Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan, Alya, Narcissa and Lucius?

She didn't respond, stubbornly biting her bottom lip. I'd often get her out of that expression by pulling her into a kiss, and I was irrationally glad that Nott didn't use the same tactic.

"If you'd waited fifteen minutes you might have gotten lucky, Rodolphus, Rabastan and Professor Snape were not staying at the manor tonight. Ahhh." He tilted his head, observing Ky,"That's who you're after then." He narrowed his eyes, "You know, when you broke into the Manor over the summer to save that Sabre girl, Draco freaked out, but we all got lucky. And I knew you weren't stupid. Silvestre helped, and people were distracted with collecting Potter that day. It was a smart gamble. And I don't mind making smart gambles. And then you broke into Hogwarts a few weeks ago, and I thought, crazy, but Ginny Weasley needed your protection and that's just the sort of thing Ky Thornton, apologies, Ky Dumbledore, would do. So, who were you serving today?"

Ky's nostrils flared as she stared at her knees, I caught an unsettling dullness in her stormy orbs, before her dark mane fell forward, shielding her face, "Myself."

"That's what worries me Kitten." Nott's voice, which had been clinical and hard, had turned soft. He placed a hand on her knees, trying to get her look up at him, and when she didn't, he got off the chair, and kneeled onto the floor in front of her, looking up at her, "Hey."

She tilted her head up, and my heart splintered when I saw her face - riddled with such pain and silent tears, "I can't do this anymore Teddy." Her voice, which had been defiant and stubborn came out in a cracked rasp. I reached forward automatically, knowing I couldn't touch her, helpless, wanting to comfort her and watched as Nott brought her easily to her feet and hugged her to him.

He didn't say anything, just let her sob into his shoulder for minutes, the only dry eye in the room now Theodore Nott's.

An irrational jealousy overcame me, I had desperately wanted Ky to lean on me in the way she did Nott right now, I had asked her for months to talk about her grief but she refused, swallowing my words with passionate kisses, and I had always been incapable of defying her distractions.

Nott slithered out of the hug, brushed the hair out of her face, and looked her in the eye, cupping her cheek gently, and I glanced at Hermione, but there was no jealousy on her face, just pain for her friend, and I felt guilty. I should feel relieved that Ky at least had someone to hold her and give her comfort, even if it hadn't been me.

"Are you sure?" His voice was soft, but Ky's tears were soundless, so it was easily heard.

Ky nodded; it was slight but clear. I couldn't read his face, but I'd always struggled with that. He was quiet, taking each element of her face in, which was still caged in his palms.

"Kitten - tell me. There's more, I can tell."

She let out a deep breath, slackening in his arms, but he held her up quite comfortably, "It's better if I'm not around."

He shook his head, "You don't believe that."

She nodded, more confidently than before, "I do." Her voice choked, "We're losing. And…I think it's me. I think I'm what's wrong. It's better if I'm gone…running away won't work because he'll look for me, and that would be worse. Harry…his head isn't fully in it because he's always worrying about me."

"Why don't you just stay with him? Help him. It will make him worry less."

She shook her head, "We need to divide their resources by keeping apart. It's too risky."

I had heard that line so many times, her refusal to stay with us a frequently recurring argument but I couldn't fight the facts. I was Undesirable Number One for my apparent involvement with Dumbledore's death, and Ky was Undesirable Number Two for her apparent involvement in the death of Bastian Blishwick. They of course just wanted us because I was the 'Chosen One' and Ky was the last Dumbledore. It was sensible to stay separate.

He raised his brows, tilting his head, something I realised he did when something clicked in his mind, "It's why you're so visible. You're playing the decoy." He narrowed his eyes, "So, why would you want that to end?"

I tried not to process that. She promised me that her main goal was to protect people - that she wasn't being reckless to distract attention from me, and even though she had clearly deceived me so much these past seven years, it would hurt all the more having been lied to so directly by her.

"I can't say Teddy."

Nott didn't push her on it, and I bit back a growl in frustration, our responses to her were so different, why wasn't he challenging her!

"So you're doing this for Potter? You think you not being around will help him…Kitten, take it from someone who would do almost anything just to be in the same room as the one they love," I glanced at Hermione, who for the first time had a pained look on her face that had little to do with Ky, "Potter is going to be far from happy if you die."

"I don't need him happy, I need him alive."

I could feel my best friends eyes on me at her words, but I only had sight for her, her defiant lips, her blazing eyes.

Her features had more life in it when she spoke about death and it terrified me. As much as I wanted to shake her, rage at her for making all the wrong assumptions, I also wanted to hold her, whisper to her how wrong she was, how I haven't fully lived in seven years. That she had died but I became a ghost.

Nott's brows rose as he seemed to see the same thing in Ky that I did, but instead of plead with her, he closed his eyes, a resolute expression on his features and my heart sped up. He should fight her! Argue! Don't let her think any of that!

Instead, he was silent, they stood like two odd statues in the centre of the room, one crying, the other purposely blind, connected only by his palms on her face.

Nott finally spoke,"Where's Silvestre?"

"Black Manor." She must mean Grimauld Place, and my brows furrowed, why was he there? It had been found out as one of my hide outs and no longer safe, she must know that, "I left him there, ordered him not to follow me."

"Okay. Okay." He nodded, a sombre look on his face, seemingly understanding more than we did by her sentence.

Nott finally opened his eyes, it glowed green in the lamp light, and he finally let go of her face and stepped back,"I'll take care of it."

His voice was steel, reinforced reliability that wiped her face dry of tears, holding her up with just its steadiness. They stood in silence, and for the first time in my life did I ever understand their friendship.

Nott saw Ky with a lens I never could. Too much of my perception of her was filtered. I couldn't see her grief without feeling it myself. I couldn't argue with her words when her body begged for me. I couldn't hold her to me when I understood all the reasons why she needed to fight.

How could I envy Nott for being her shoulder, when the very reason I failed to be just that, was because I loved her so fiercely it filtered and unfocused all my senses.

Suddenly my voice echoed through the room, cutting through my thoughts, and Ron and Hermione looked at me but I was just as confused.

"Harry!" Ky whipped around, battle ready in a blink, just as Aberforth entered the room, a mirror in his hands.

She didn't wait a moment longer, catching my location as I desperately shouted it into the mirror, grabbing her wand from Nott, and with a snap she was gone.

The room dissolved as we were brought back to reality, and I tried to not focus on that last fact…

This was confirmation…

It was me….

I had called Ky to the Manor that night.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed learning a bit more about Ky's decision-making. There are still missing pieces I know, but the autopsy of the memory happens in the next chapter which fills those in. Let me know what you think - I always appreciate your opinions/feedback!

Have a lovely Sunday.

Kalina