"You don't have to come with me," Katniss insists. She stayed in one of the many rooms in my new house in the Victor's Village after we had dinner at my family's house above the bakery last night. It was what we usually had, soup and stale bread, but Katniss didn't mind. In fact, she praised Dad for his cooking saying she's never tasted anything like it before.
I could tell my mother was getting to her limit of how long she could keep up this facade, but she was trying really hard in front of Katniss. I wanted to get the both of us out of here before she showed her true colors so eventually the two of us headed towards the Victor's Village for the first time.
The house was bigger than I knew what to do with and I could see myself getting lonely here quick. I don't know how Haymitch could stand being by himself in his own house all these years.
Katniss had borrowed some of my clothes to sleep in and is back in the same dress she wore on the train. She didn't bring anything with her when she snuck onto the train and she wants to go into town to buy clothes and other things. I had let her know that our district wasn't as abundant as the Capitol and she probably wouldn't find much here.
"I don't want you to get lost," I say. Honestly, I was afraid of what might happen if Katniss is left alone to wander the district. Word had gotten out that Snow's granddaughter was here and according to Haymitch, people were on high alert, some wanted to meet her, and others were angry that she's treating Twelve like a vacation destination when most of us were struggling.
"I'll be fine. Besides, I don't think you'd be much help," Katniss says, blushing.
"Are you saying I don't have good fashion sense?" I tease.
"I don't know," Katniss admits. "I think I've only seen Cinna dress you. But this isn't a bad look," she says, gesturing to my current outfit. It was just a plain tshirt and an old pair of slacks, something I would have worn before.
I feel myself smile at her compliment. "Thanks."
"And besides," she says, putting her hands on her hips. "You should go see all your friends or something. I'm sure they missed you something fierce."
"Gale's pretty much my only friend," I admit.
"So then go see him. I'll be fine," she says with that stubbornness to her voice. "I don't want to be in your way."
"You won't be," I say, and I kind of hate how much that statement feels true. I want to keep her at a distance, but she makes it really hard. And how am I supposed to convince her to marry me if I'm not at least trying to move in a more…romantic direction, not that I have any experience. "Let me just go with you."
"No! I have to get clothes and um…" Her face turns even redder if that's possible. "Things."
"Things?" I push, feeling my smile grow.
"Yes, things!" She says, pushing past me. I wrap my hand around her arm and pull her back in my direction. She hits my chest but she still won't look at me.
"Katniss?" Her eyes stay on her feet. "Katniss, look at me, please?" She reluctantly lifts her chin, biting her lip. "I'm just teasing you. I can't help it, you're so-"
"So what?" She blinks.
I reach up brushing a piece of her hair out of her face. "You're so pure." She was. Even if she was Snow's grandfather, even if she was the enemy, she seemed to keep this air of innocence that's so rare.
Her brows furrow. "Oh." There's disappointment lacing her voice.
"That's not a bad thing, Kat." The nickname slips out. "Sorry. Katniss."
"I like Kat," she admits. "You can call me that. If you want."
I nod, stepping away from her, feeling like we're much too close. "So where to?"
Katniss shakes her head. "Nope. Nuh-uh. Not happening." She was not budging.
"Fine," I relent, but I still wasn't about to send her out there without backup. "Then we'll get Delly to go with you."
"Delly?" Katniss says. "Who's Delly?"
"Rye's girlfriend. Or at least, according to her. Rye refuses to admit it," I explain as we head outside. Delly should be at home. On our walk, I explain more about Delly. We grew up together and her parents ran the butcher shop in town. She was practically like my sister and our parents thought we would someday end up together since we were the same age, but we never saw each other that way. Not to mention last year, I caught her and Rye making out in the bakery when our parents weren't home. Delly swears they're in love and getting married. Rye says he's not as attached, acts like it's not that serious, but I know he won't do anything to hurt her. Actually I think he's kind of scared of her.
"Poor Delly," Katniss says.
I turn to look at her. "What do you mean?"
"Well," she starts, kicking a loose pebble on the path. "If I had a boyfriend or whatever and he wasn't truly head over heels about me in public or otherwise, and he didn't want to admit it, I think that would hurt more than not having anyone at all. And I think the way you act and talk about the ones you claim to care about in public says a lot about a person."
I trip in shock over her words. Did she know? But when I look to her again, she gives me a smile so trusting that the guilt hits me again.
"I mean of course, I don't know Rye all too well," she quickly adds.
"We're here," I say, stopping in front of the building. I knock on the door and as expected, loud steps come bounding on the other side and the door is ripped open by the bubbly blonde. She throws her arms around me and I stumble to catch my footing.
"Peeta! I'm so sorry I couldn't come see you when you got back. Mom was sick. What are you doing here?" She gets out all in one breath. I had a feeling she and Katniss would get along just fine.
"Are you busy?" I ask.
"No. Well, I was going to see Rye. Which, by the way, he was supposed to come get me when you got home so I could see you. Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside that pretty head of his. Oh. Hello," Delly says, finally noticing Katniss next to me.
"Delly, this is Katniss Snow," I say, not sure exactly how she'll react.
But in true Delly fashion, she shakes her arms in excitement with a squeal, pulling Katniss into a hug. "I've been wanting to meet you! Your arrival is big news!"
"Thank you, I think. I've heard wonderful things about you," Katniss beams.
"Ditto," Delly says. "Peeta has been in love with you for years!"
What the hell? "Delly!"
Katniss looks between the two of us, and I'm sure she thinks Dellys gone mad. Because she certainly has. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. I just met Peeta a few days ago."
"Well you did," Delly rolls her eyes like we're the dumb ones. "But once when we were like ten, we saw you in the square on a broadcast. You were like, singing this song, and Peeta was absolutely smitten. It wasn't even in person!" She babbles.
The story brings back a memory I had completely forgotten about and I want to face palm. Because now that Delly had recounted it, I knew exactly what she was talking about. A younger image of a girl floats into my head, and little Peeta has basically fallen in love with her as soon as he heard her sing. I hadn't caught her name at the time, barely paying attention to the broadcast until that moment. But for some reason it didn't occur to me that that girl and Katniss were the same person.
"I forgot about that," I admit, because I don't want Katniss to think I've been hiding something from her.
I expect Katniss to be ecstatic at the thought of me being in love with her as a child, but it seems all she can muster is a sad smile. "That was my parent's memorial."
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Delly says, horrified. "I didn't mean to drudge up any ill memories."
"No, it's not your fault," Katniss assured her, quickly covering her sadness with that smile again. She's more complicated than I or anyone else had given her credit for. "Thank you for telling me. I have a feeling Peeta would have kept it hidden forever."
"Anyway," I say, trying to get the attention off of that embarrassing story. "I was wondering if you'd be free to accompany Katniss around the district. She doesn't want me to come."
"No, it's not that!" Katniss' eyes go wide. "I'm so sorry if I made you feel like I don't want you around." She looks distraught at the thought of having hurt my feelings.
"I'm just kidding, Katniss," I assure her and her shoulder slump in relieve. Delly gives me a strange look at her reaction but I brush her off. "Delly probably has a better idea of where to go anyway."
"Oh, yes," Katniss adds. "If you're free of course, I don't want to put you out."
"No, I'd love to!" Delly says.
"Thank you so much!" Katniss bounces with excitement. "I've never really shopped for myself before."
"Well we'll have a blast. Bye Peeta!" Delly pretty much pushes me off her front step.
"Wow, I didn't realize you'd want to get rid of me so badly," I laugh, backing away. "Katniss, don't let her get you into trouble."
"We'll be fine," Katniss says. "I'll see you later!" She smiles and waves as Delly drags her off.
I thought I'd feel a weight lifted off my shoulders with Katniss off my hands for the morning, but I feel strangely alone. It must be because she's been by my side almost constantly for the past few days that this is the first moment I get to finally breathe. Except now, I keep thinking about her. Would she really be okay with Delly? I mean she was a bit much, but so was Katniss so maybe they'll cancel each other out.
I head into the woods, hoping to find Gale. If I was going to have some time away from watching eyes, I could at least spend some time in the place I would never be able to take Katniss. Who knows how she would react knowing we purposefully ignored the fence.
Gale pops out from behind a tree, scaring the shit out of me. "You finally escaped Panem's Princess?"
"Geez, Gale! Make some noise will you?" I brace myself against the tree to catch my breath.
"Sorry," he smirks. "So no more Snow's devil spawn?"
"Her name is Katniss," I remind him.
"I'm just messing with you," Gale says, lightly shoving me. "Did the Capitol take your sense of humor too? You leave her with the drunk?"
"You don't know what Haymitch has been through," I say, feeling the need to defend him. If I didn't have anyone after coming back from the games, maybe I would turn to drinking.
"Can't say anything right today," Gale grumbles.
"It's fine. Katniss is with Delly," I tell him, hating that I made things awkward.
Gale chuckles. "I don't know who to feel more sorry for."
"Yeah," I join in his laughter. "I think Delly's probably met her match. Either that or Rye's life is about to get a million times harder."
"Hm." Gale sits down against the tree and I clumsily squat down to join him, adjusting my leg. "How's the leg?"
"All those kids, and I feel stupid complaining about losing my leg. But it kind of sucks, having to relearn how to walk. Having a physical reminder, you know?"
Gale just nods. "Looks like it's not the only one. What's the deal with you and Katniss? She doesn't seem like your type."
"And what is my type?" I raise a brow.
Gale shrugs. "I don't know. Not some bimbo airhead." I frown at his description of Katniss. "I bet if you told that girl that pigs fly in twelve she'd believe you. There's like nothing going on in there," he says, tapping his own head to make his point. "She's too happy. She'd never understand the things we go through here."
"She's sheltered. Snow made sure of that," I say. "And it's not like I have a choice." I had meant to keep it a secret from Gale but I had to tell someone who would actually give me some advice. Haymitch was no help, and Gale's the only other person in this world I trust.
"What do you mean? Just because she's a Snow doesn't mean you have to do whatever she says. If she's so nice then she'll have no problem being rejected."
"No it's not that," I say, keeping my voice low even though nobody can hear us here. "Snow wants me to make it seem like she and I are a…unified front."
Even with my vague explanation, he understands what I'm getting at. "What? That bitch! She's forcing you into something you don't want to do!"
"Katniss doesn't know anything about it. In fact, she's more in the dark than I am. Snow said I have to pretend. I have to make her believe I'm, like, in love with her. He wants me to propose when we get back to the Capitol. She can't know. It'll crush her."
"Who the fuck cares if she gets her precious little feelings hurt?"
"Because she's innocent in all of this!"
"So was Levy and Snow still had no remorse when she and all those other kids died!" Gale spits back.
"But if I hurt Katniss just because she's related to Snow, that makes me as bad as him. I might not like her, but I'm not cruel," I say. "Besides, he basically threatened everyone I know if I didn't make it seem real."
"It's not fair!" Gale says. "We should do something. Run! Or fight!"
I punch his arm to get him to shut up. "What's that going to do? We're not strong enough to go up against all those peacekeepers! Don't you think if it was possible, we would have tried already instead of watching children die year after year?"
"Are you on their side or something? Have they already brainwashed you? Now that you're shacking up with the President's granddaughter you don't care about trying to make things better?" Gale is furious now. He jumps up, pacing back and forth.
I grip the trunk of the tree to stand. "Of course not! None of my relationship with Katniss is real and it never will be. But I know what they're capable of. You'll never understand how easily Snow can manipulate everything. They won't hesitate to destroy all of us if we step out of line. So I have to pretend. To protect my family. To protect yours!"
"Whatever. I have to get back and help Mom with Rory and Posy," he says, refusing to look at me. He turns, ready to talk away.
"Wait, Gale!" I call out. He can be mad at me, but I couldn't let him get hurt. "You can't tell anyone."
He scoffs. "Is that all you care about? Don't worry, I won't tell your precious girlfriend anything." And then he stalks away towards the fence without another word.
Maybe it's better this way. The less people who were close to me, the better. If Snow didn't think they meant anything to me, he wouldn't have any reason to hurt them.