AN: As we rapidly approach the holiday season, I want to remind you that I work in retail. I'm trying to crank out chapters when I have free time and post in a well-paced manner. Bear with me. Thanks as alway to my team, my friends: Ashley, Mandy, Marie, Monica, and Sally. I love y'all!
Bella
The next two weeks are spent sightseeing, eating, and sitting in the front row for some of the most prestigious designers in the world, right next to Edward. Every day, as soon as Edward finishes his meetings for the day, he comes to the hotel where we have sex before leaving to sightsee or have dinner. I meet him during the day for shows when necessary, but I spend a lot of time by myself.
I responded to the manager from Crowley's, and I have a meeting with him the first week of October after I've had a couple days to recover from traveling. Edward is so excited and proud of me, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Edward decides he wants to skip the last two days of fashion weekend; after some cajoling, I agree.
He charters a yacht to take us down to Sicily so we can start our sightseeing trip back up north to Milan. Italy is a beautiful and fascinating country; having Edward guide me around like a local doesn't hurt. It seems like he knows someone in every city we stop in. A shopkeeper, a restauranteur, everyone happy to see him again.
We arrive back at the Rosa Grand the day before we fly home, and as I pack, I realize how much I'm going to miss being with Edward everyday. I'm carting some of my clothes from his closet to my room to pack when he finds me wiping my face.
"What's wrong?" he asks, quickly coming to my side.
Shaking my head, I push him away. "I'm being stupid."
"I doubt that. What is it?" he asks again, grabbing the box of tissues off the nightstand and holding it out to me.
"I was just thinking about how much I don't want to leave because that means I won't see you as much." I dab at my eyes. "I know how important your job is, and I respect that. Maybe a trip like this right away was a bad idea."
He sits down on the bed, pulling me down with him, cuddling me on his lap. "Hey, it's not going to be easy at first, but we'll fall into a rhythm. What if I promise to make as much time for you as possible?"
I laugh. "You already said you'd do that."
"Okay, what if I invite you to my place? Give you a key?" he offers, and at first, I think he's teasing me.
"Wait, are you serious?"
"Very. I'd be happy to see you in my home sometimes when I get home from work. You make me feel more alive than I've felt in a long time." He leans in to kiss my lips softly. "I want you around as much as possible. Even if you're just reading in my office while I work."
I stammer, trying to figure out what to say.
"I'm not asking you to move in with me; I'm just making my home available to you, so I can be available to you." He smiles when I take a deep breath.
"Why don't you find the time to invite me over for dinner and we can talk about it." I wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him close to me.
"Deal. Why don't we finish packing so we can relax. Tomorrow is going to be a long day." I nod, and he goes back to his—our room to finish packing while I do the same.
Edward and I ride together in the backseat of the same black town car that drove me to the airfield fifteen days ago. As we hold hands in silence, I know I'm thinking about how the past two weeks were like a dream and now we're being slammed back into reality. I look over to take in Edward, and his expression is serious.
"Are you all right?" I ask softly.
He turns to look at me. "Yeah. This trip was really special to me. You're really special to me, Bella."
Leaning over to kiss him, I smile when I pull away. "You're special to me too."
When the car comes to a stop in front of Rose and Em's house, I can see them standing in the open doorway, waiting for me. Edward brushes the driver off, insisting on unloading my luggage and helping me to the house.
He shakes Emmett's hand and kisses Rose's cheek before turning to me. "I'll call you this week when I can."
"I know you will." I lean up to kiss him, audience or not. He wraps his arms around me, hugging my body to his.
"I don't know how I'll sleep without you tonight," he whispers in my ear.
"If you can't manage, send the car." I laugh as I pull away from him and he blushes. "Talk to you soon."
He waves bye as he starts down the walk. I watch as he drives away before heading into the house. "You left with two suitcases and came back with four. How is that even possible?" Rose asks as she locks eyes with me. I'm trying to hold it in as much as possible, but I can feel the tears slipping down my cheeks as she rushes over to me. "What's wrong, babe? Did something happen?"
I cry into her shoulder, trying to get a grip on myself. Pulling away, I drag her and my bags into my room and shut the door. "I might be in trouble."
"What? How?" Rose is standing against the door, staring at me in disbelief.
"I like him. I like Edward," I explain as I open my largest suitcase and start pulling out all the things Edward bought for me.
Rose's eyes go wide when she starts to see everything, but she focuses on me. "Isn't that kind of the point? Aren't you supposed to like him in order for this to work?"
I stop unpacking and shoot her a look.
"Oh. Oh. I see." She starts grabbing hangers out of the closet to hang everything up. "Well, yeah, that might be a problem."
She asks about the trip and how things went between us. I tell her everything, just not in great detail. I tell her that there were times when it felt like Edward and I weren't just having sex but like he was making love to me; the times when he was so tender and caring.
"Don't confuse sex for love, Bella. They are two different things," Rose warns me gently, and I nod. "You're smarter than this, and I don't want to see you hurt."
"I know. I'm really trying, but I know I'm going to miss him this week. Maybe the distance will do me some good." I pile up my dirty clothes in my laundry basket and sigh.
As I put my laundry in and go through the little bit of mail I got, I tell Rose more about the trip, and then I remember about Crowley's and tell her about the meeting I have on Wednesday.
"That's fantastic! That would be so awesome for you." Rose hugs me, and when she sees that I'm ready to pass out where I stand, she tells me to go lie down for an hour and she'll check on me.
When I get back to my room, I check my phone, but I don't have any missed texts from Edward. We've only been apart from each other for a little over an hour; I shouldn't expect anything. As I'm drifting off to sleep, I suddenly decide to check his calendar to see when we could possibly see each other this week. His schedule is wide open the rest of the day today and tomorrow.
Smiling to myself, I wonder how long it'll take for him to call me.
I don't wake up to Rose knocking on the door but to the sound of my phone buzzing across the nightstand. I pick up, yawning, and see that Edward is calling me on FaceTime. Smirking, I answer.
"Hi, you woke me up." He looks like shit; handsome, sexy shit.
"I'd say I'm sorry, but I've been trying to relax and get some rest since I dropped you off with no luck." He's in an undershirt, lying on what looks like a leather couch.
"Poor baby. How can I help you, Edward?" I turn over to my side, propping my head up on my hand.
"Come over. My day is wide open tomorrow, you can stay over, and we can spend the day together." He smiles so hopefully that I feel bad for what I'm about to say. Almost.
"And the next day or the day after? We have to get used to being apart a little bit." I bite my lip to keep from laughing as Edward scowls.
"Are you fucking with me?" He pouts as I start laughing.
"Yes, I am. I cried when you left," I tell him, sitting up against the headboard and looking directly at him. He apologizes for making me cry, but I tell him it isn't his fault. I check the time, and it's only four in the afternoon. "Hey, what if I came over for dinner. We can look at your schedule together. We can try to plan something for this week so we have it to look forward to."
"Are you sure you want to come over? I miss you but I don't want to take you away from your friends. I'm sure Rose and Emmett missed you."
"I missed them too." I really did. I've only been living with them for a few weeks, but I do feel at home here. "I should probably stay here tonight."
He groans softly. "We're just torturing each other, baby. Come see me this week at the office?"
I nod, and we hang up quickly, neither of us wanting to prolong the pain of being apart from one another. Getting up, I go to switch my laundry over and do everything in my power to be present with my friends and get myself back onto a schedule. I go to bed earlier than I'd like, but I set my alarm for my usual time.
I've always been an early riser, probably a holdover from my dad getting up so early for his shifts at the police station. Today, I threw on some leggings, a tank top, a hoodie, and my sneakers and escape the quiet house for an early morning walk. I'm not a health nut; I've never been to a gym in my life except for high school. I just want to get out and clear my head a little because after my conversation with Edward last night and the way I'm starting to feel toward him, I don't want to get in over my head.
Edward is a kind, sweet, generous man; not only with his money and resources, but also his time when he has it. He's funny and smart, and I enjoy talking to him and learning about him as a person and who he is as a successful businessman. He's charming as hell, and when it's just the two of us, hell, even when we're in a room with hundreds of other people, he's solely focused on me.
I understand and respect that he isn't interested in having a real relationship, so I need to figure out how to compartmentalize my feelings for him and just enjoy the time we have together. I'm a couple miles from the house when I stumble upon a farmer's market. This is just the kind of distraction I need. I wander the stalls, taking in the fresh produce and artisanal meats and cheeses when I hear my name faintly in the crowd.
Turning, I see Edward standing, hands in the pockets of some basketball shorts, wearing a gray shirt and sneakers. I've never seen him so casual, and his smile is genuinely surprised at seeing me. He doesn't cross the distance to me, letting me decide to come to him. I walk slowly to him, trying not to get excited.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, taking in the sight of him.
He laughs. "I was playing basketball with my brother and some friends at their gym. I was driving by and saw the market. I stopped to see if I could find some flowers and drop them off to you."
That is the sweetest thing in the world. "I don't need flowers, but I'll take them. I decided to take a walk and wound up here."
He reaches for my hand, and we wander around together. I pick out stuff from several stalls to make lunch for Rose, Em, and myself, but I purposely don't invite Edward. If he notices, he doesn't say anything.
One of the last stalls is all flowers, and he looks at me expectantly. "I don't actually know what your favorite flower is."
"Oh, mostly, I like wildflowers, but I think lilies might be my favorite." I shrug, and Edward looks at me curiously. "I've never received flowers, so I'm not sure."
I see the gears turn inside his head as he processes what I've just told him as he hums in response. He buys out the stall of all their lilies, and the owner laughs as he wraps them in paper bundles so we can carry them.
"This was unnecessary," I tell Edward as we try to carry everything back to his car. I agreed to let him drive me home since there is no way I can carry all this a few miles by myself.
When he pulls up in front of the house, he helps me out and carries half of the flowers up to the porch for me. We stand awkwardly together until I thank him for the ride and flowers. I lean up to kiss him, and he frowns.
"Is there a reason you're not inviting me in?" Edward is searching my face, looking for an answer.
Sighing, I pull my phone out to look at the time. "It's 10 AM on Sunday morning. Even if Rose and Em are awake, I'm not going to spring you on them. That's rude." And I need to have time away from you to settle my feelings. "Plus, if we're going to make it with your busy schedule, we need to be able to be apart. I thought we agreed to this last night?"
Edward rolls his eyes. "We did, but seeing you today was like a surprise that I didn't realize I was waiting for." His hands reach out to settle on my hips. "I'm just saying that I like being around you."
I try not to get too excited at his admission; after all, he's the one with the rules. "I'd like to remind you that you're the one who doesn't want a real relationship. You can like having me around, but don't get used to me. We don't want either of us to catch feelings." I can't even look him in the eye as I say it; instead, I focus on the spot right between his eyebrows.
His grip on me loosens. "Right. We agreed to that." He releases me, taking a full step back. He looks a little crestfallen but recovers quickly. "Then, I'll see you soon, Bella. Enjoy the flowers."
Standing there, I watch as he hurries to his car and drives off without a wave back at me.
Sunday passes in a blur, surrounded by vases and large glasses of lilies everywhere. I send Edward pictures, but he only responds with a heart emoji. When I wake up Monday morning, I'm determined to go to the office to see him and fix whatever is wrong between us, but when I check my phone, I find that he hasn't reached out at all.
I wasn't really expecting him to, but I was hoping he would. Finding no texts or missed calls from him makes me sad more than angry, so I decide that going to his office today isn't a good idea. Instead, I google dry cleaners in the area and find one with great reviews before loading up a bunch of my clothes and driving over.
The owner gives me an estimate, and I realize that I'll need to use the Amex to pay when I pick everything up and I hate it. He tells me they'll be done in a week, and I take my slip before leaving and climbing back into my car. My purse is heavy in my lap with the weight of the metal card. Maybe I should go and speak to Edward and clear the air. I feel guilty at the idea of using his money when things feel so unsettled between us.
It's still early, so I stop by a local coffee shop and pick up drinks for the two of us before driving to his building. Security waves me through, and I head up in the elevator to Edward's floor. Irina is nowhere to be seen when I reach the receptionist desk, but I only hesitate for a moment. Edward made it clear that I was supposed to come back on my own any time I came by.
I walk through the office, feeling everyone staring at me before I realize I'm in some ratty jeans and a University of Washington sweatshirt. I reach Edward's door to find it closed, and I can hear him yelling on the other side. Just as I'm about to tap the door with the toe of my shoe, Irina comes storming out, eyes red like she's been crying.
The door hangs open, and I watch as she pushes past me with a huff. I turn to look in Edward's office to find him staring out the large window overlooking the city, hands on his hips, his shoulders tight with tension.
"Knock, knock?" I say quietly.
"I said I didn't want to be disturbed," Edward huffs out, his voice laced with annoyance.
Stepping into his office, I sigh. "I came by to talk to you, but I can stop by another time."
He turns at the sound of my voice, shock evident on his face. "Bella." His eyes sweep my body, head to toe, before he offers me a small smile. "Come in, please. Shut the door."
I nudge the door with my hip until it closes before turning to look at him again. "Is one of those cups for me?"
I step forward handing him a cup. "Hazelnut latte, skim milk, no foam."
"Thank you." He takes a sip before gesturing to me to sit on the couch. When he takes a seat behind his desk, I don't feel like his partner—I feel like he's my boss. "What brings you by?"
"I wanted to apologize for yesterday morning. I don't want you to think that I don't want to spend time with you … I'm just realizing that I'm having a hard time keeping my feelings in check. I don't want to upset you or go against the terms we agreed upon—"
Edward stands up, moving to sit next to me quickly. "I know it's hard to separate sex from emotions, but I want to be around you, Bella. I'm happier and more relaxed when you're with me. But I don't want you to feel less worthy just because I'm not looking for a serious relationship."
"I don't want that either. And I get it; I really do. It's just difficult with you being so amazing." I lean my head on his shoulder as he laughs.
"Would you prefer if I was a brute?"
"Of course not. I'm just a little sad because I can see myself falling for you, and I don't want to get hurt." Staring into his eyes, I can see the emotions coursing through him.
"Maybe we should end this now then. I can offer you so many things; my time and attention. I can care for you, but I don't want to fall in love. If I'm sending you mixed signals, then we could part now as friends. If you ever need anything, I'll always be available to you, but the last thing I want to do is hurt you, Bella."
Looking into Edward's eyes, I see genuine concern and care for my feelings. "I don't; I don't want that. But if I say that I need space, then you need to understand it isn't a personal affront to you; I just need to protect myself."
"Are you sure? We can slow down a bit." The offer is sweet, but my body is heated with want just being this close to him. It's been two days without him inside me, and my core is aching for him.
"I'm not sure I would survive if we slowed down at this point." I giggle as he leans down to capture my lips with his. It's like kissing him for the first time, sweet but sexy. I wrap my arms around his back as he guides me down onto the cushions as we lose ourselves in each other. It isn't until we hear an incessant ringing that we pull away from each other.
Edward groans. "I have a conference call. Are you busy? Will you stay? We can have lunch after." I nod as he moves to his desk and dials into the call.
Pulling out my earbuds from my purse and my phone, I lay down on the couch to listen to a podcast and zone out. I didn't sleep well last night, so I'm not surprised that I'm struggling to stay awake after ninety minutes. I'm startled awake when I can hear Edward's raised voice over my podcast. Sitting up, I take out my earbuds, slip them back into their case, and watch him carefully.
He's pacing behind his desk and rolls his eyes when he sees me watching him. I can't follow the conversation because I wasn't paying attention before, but what I do hear sounds like someone is interested in buying the magazine; Edward's magazine. The thing he's worked so hard for.
Edward sits down impatiently at his desk and mimes talking with his hand. "I'm telling you right now I'm never selling this magazine. It'll happen over my dead body."
Several voices begin to speak over one another, and I creep over to Edward, leaning down to kiss his cheek. He leans into my touch, and I feel brave enough to drop to my knees in front of him. He opens his mouth to speak, but I raise my finger to his lips, silently telling him to be quiet.
As quietly as possible, I undo his belt, flip open the button on his trousers, and drag down his fly. Edward shifts in his chair, giving me better access to pull out his semi-erect penis. His eyes are locked on mine as I lick up and down his shaft, bringing him to full attention. We both hear his name being called over the phone, and I pinch him lightly so he'll answer.
"Maybe we should wrap this up for the day," Edward says, his voice hoarse.
I let go of his member, sitting back on my heels, and his eyes widen in disbelief.
"Or we can continue." Edward gives me a pointed look as I sit back up. "Can you run over the numbers from the last quarter again?"
As I wrap my lips around him, everything around me fades, his taste and his scent enveloping me completely. I only open my eyes when I feel his hands in my hair, guiding his dick into my mouth, thrust by thrust, fucking my throat. He's grunting softly, and before I realize what's happening, he pulls me up from the floor and lays me face down on his desk, pulling my pants down and sliding into me.
"Fuck, Bella." His hips slap into my ass, and my pussy clenches around him as I feel my orgasm building quickly.
I try to look over my shoulder, but he gently pushes me back down onto his desk. I'm trying to be quiet; I don't know what's going on with his call, but I know I won't be able to hold it in. I hear a voice over the phone asking for Edward again, and I tense up, causing him to moan in pleasure.
He pulls me down with him into his chair, his dick still inside of me. He clamps one hand over my mouth and unmutes the phone with his free hand. "Everything sounds good for now. Keep an eye on whoever is trying to buy me out. Find out who they are." He bucks up into me as I grip the arms of his chair, trying not to scream out.
He finally hangs up, nothing but our mutual panting fills the office as I tip over the edge, coming hard around his dick. "Fuck, baby, I'm coming." I feel him explode into me, emptying everything he has into me, and we come down together, both half-naked and sated for the time being.
After a few minutes, he offers me some tissues to clean up with, and I laugh. "We are so screwed, Edward. We can't stay away from each other."
He looks at me with a pained expression. "I didn't use a condom. I'm sorry."
"I have an IUD," I remind him quietly. "Do you want me to take a Plan B, just to be safe?"
He considers for a moment as he puts himself back together. "No. It'll be fine; we'll be fine."
"Are you sure? I don't mind doing it." I'm not really interested in getting pregnant with a man who doesn't have any feelings for me.
He pulls me toward him, kissing my forehead. "I'm sure. As far as us staying away from each other, maybe we shouldn't."
"What do you mean?" My heart creeps up into my throat.
"You drive me wild, Bella. Maybe falling for you wouldn't be so terrible." He leans down to kiss me, but I pull away.
"Very romantic, Edward." Shaking my head, I wrap my hands around his neck. "Are you saying you want to give it a real shot? Or are you just opening yourself up to the possibility?"
His hands go to my waist. "I'm saying that I feel like anything's possible with you. And I'm not turning it down."
Nodding, I walk away to pick up my purse. "Okay then."
He scoffs. "That's all I get?"
"Yeah. We'll see how it goes." I turn the doorknob. "Do you want to get some lunch?"
Shaking his head, he grabs his jacket, following me out. "You're gonna make me work for this, aren't you?"
"I totally am." I laugh, linking my arm with his. I stop us before we reach reception. "Oh, you made Irina cry. You need to apologize to her; make it right."
"I was … upset. Not with her; you're right." We walk out, and I wait by the elevators while Edward speaks to her softly. When he joins me, I press the down button as he tells me he told her to take the rest of the day off. I catch her eye as we enter the elevator, and she smiles warmly at me.
It's a perfect day to change some attitudes.