A/N: For those that don't know, I'm fighting Covid…again. So, this chapter…I'm been seeing some…let's call them interesting reviews about Chuck and Sarah and their sexual pasts. I don't know where I've ever said, or even implied that Chuck is some sort of monk, but if I have, then that's on me. I also don't think I've implied that Sarah has had some revolving door of different men, but again, if I have, it's on me. I think they are two healthy young adults that have had sex.

However, I do believe there experiences are quite different. I'm not saying Chuck wouldn't have a one night stand, but I think it has to mean a little something, and not just a hook up. Also, given Sarah's background, a relationship with a romantic partner…I don't find it that feasible or "normal". That's one reason I always thought Sarah struggled in the show.

Now, this fic is not the show, so this is my head cannon of why she is the way she is. If you don't like it, I get it. But again…Chuck is NOT a monk. Hope that clears up any confusion. I get it, I'm autistic, and I think 10000000 million things, and write down three of them, expecting you to sometimes get into my head. Okay, enough about me, on to the fan and the feces as some of you have put it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

They sat in front of the large house, both irritated. "Are we overreacting?" Chuck asked softly.

"We were about to have some amazing chimichangas, go home, and make love," Sarah replied, staring at the house, not seeing his eyes go wide. "I think I might be underreacting, if you want to know the truth."

"That's a lot of pressure you just put on those chimichangas," Chuck muttered. Sarah couldn't help but laugh. "You know, there could be a very good reason why Dan is your mom's lawyer."

"Absolutely," Sarah replied, still staring at the house.

"There could be a very good reason as to why he thinks it's okay for us to visit your mom and sister tomorrow," Chuck continued.

"Absolutely," Sarah said, her sight laser-locked.

"I could have been terrible in bed later," Chuck said, thinking that he could say anything at this point and she'd agree, she was so locked in on the house.

"Not a chance," Sarah replied, her eyesight never faltering. She reached over and took his hand. "I promise I won't blow up in there."

"What do you think is going on?" Chuck asked.

"I don't know, but my gut doesn't like it," Sarah told him.

"Well, that seals it for me." Chuck reached over and opened his door. "Let's go, there's no sense in stewing." They walked up to the door of the house, and just as Sarah lifted her hand to knock, the door opened.

"Charles, Sarah, come in, we've been expecting you," Dan said, stepping out of the way to let them enter. They did so, and Dan shut the door.

"We?" Chuck asked, turning back to look at Dan. He stumbled into Sarah who had stopped in front of him. He turned to find a woman standing in the room they were entering. Chuck didn't know the woman, but he knew when Sarah tensed up like this, it could only be one person.

"Oh, we," Chuck said, blowing out a breath.

"I need you to listen to me for ten minutes," Zondra began.

"You've got two," Sarah replied.

"This should be fun," Chuck muttered.

}o{

"Faster, Casey!" Carina yelled. They had received the call from Dan, and the two of them wondered even if they got there in seconds, it would be fast enough. "If they get into a fight, everything you've worked for will be over."

"Maybe she'll listen to reason," Casey said to Carina. He looked over at her and saw the look on her face. "I knew it was stupid the second it came out of my mouth."

"You proposing to Chuck made more sense than that," Carina muttered.

"I didn't propose to the moron!" Casey insisted.

"Whatever," she muttered.

}o{

The two rushed inside, expecting to see destruction everywhere. Instead… instead, they found Chuck and Dan sitting in the parlor.

"I promise you, Charles, I had nothing to do with Representative Fulcrum approaching you," Dan told Chuck. "Although I do know of his wife's… proclivities." Chuck shuddered. "Tell me," Dan said, putting his coffee on the saucer on the coffee table. "Did you find it a sex thing, or a power thing?"

"I'm not sure," Chuck admitted. "It's one of those things that as soon as it started, and I knew we had what we needed, I mostly retreated into my head."

"Is she still doing that?" Carina asked, making Chuck and Dan look up. "I warned her about that when her husband decided to run for office. A lot of people are squeamish about either of the things she's doing, but both? Good lord, most people would have a hissy fit." Terror covered Chuck's face. "That's what he hired you for?" Carina shook her head. "I could have told him that most everyone knew, and saved him a ton of money."

"Knowing the Representative, he wanted something concrete to show his wife. Hence the video," Dan agreed.

"She still bonking guys with that strap-on thing?" Casey asked. Chuck's eyes went big. "What? Like Carina said, most everyone in our business knew."

"So, Sarah and I were the only ones who didn't?" Chuck asked. Carina began to laugh. "We had to sit through that…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

"No shame if you enjoyed it, Curls," Carina teased.

"God, no, it's not that. I just felt so… inadequate, compared to it," Chuck began.

"Stop!" Casey barked. "No one wants to hear what you're about to say next."

"I sort of do," Carina said. Casey gave her a look. "Fine." She turned to Chuck. "We can talk later."

"No," Chuck told her.

"Way to sell it," Carina mock whispered.

Chuck shook his head.

"Where are Zondra and Sarah? Why isn't furniture broken?"

"They are in the study," Dan said, picking up his coffee. "Oh, would you like something to drink?"

}o{

In the study

"You know, I must be getting old," Sarah said. She was looking at the books on one of the many shelves. "For years, all I could think about was kicking your ass, and now… not so much."

"I didn't do it," Zondra said.

"I beginning to believe that," Sarah replied. "I didn't dream you when I was strapped down with all those drugs in my system, did I?"

"No," Zondra told her. "I didn't trust Bryce."

"If I had known who he was, I'd have never taken the job," Sarah admitted. "But, here was a guy who was seemingly frightened the woman he loved was killed because of his job. He wasn't saying it, but it was coming through. To say that was hitting me in a certain way would be an understatement."

"You really love that guy," Zondra said.

Sarah turned to her. Zondra had once been the person she had confided everything in. Zondra was the person who Sarah had told her deepest secrets, her deepest desires. "Do you remember Warsaw?"

Zondra closed her eyes and lowered her head. She took a deep breath, opened her eyes, raised her head, and locked eyes with Sarah. "Donavon?" she asked.

"Derrick," Sarah corrected.

Zondra winced. "Sorry."

"No, it's fine," Sarah replied.

"He was that contractor, right?" Zondra asked. Sarah nodded. "I remember him, but I don't understand. Were you in love with Derrick?"

"Oh, God, no," Sarah said, shaking her head. "You do remember he died in that attack?"

"Yeah, but we… ohhhh," Zondra said, nodding. "Now I get it."

"Yeah," Sarah replied. She had met Derrick in Warsaw. The team was there for five weeks, and on the first night, she met him in the club. Their ruse was partying college girls, and the four were playing up the part, scoping out the club. And their target, that had been known to frequent the club.

On night four, Derrick invited her back to his hotel, and at first, she had declined. He told her he just wanted to talk. She finally accepted, and told him that if he expected anything, he was going to be disappointed.

Derrick had been as good as his word. They talked most of the night. For a week, they kept going to the club, and finally, they spotted their target. After relaying the information of finding their target and his associates to their superiors, they were put on stand-by. There was no reason to visit the club that night, but Sarah went. Alone.

She found Derrick, and again, the two went back to his hotel. This time, something did happen.

The next morning the team was informed of their mission: Infiltrate their target's home.

They got in and out with no one being the wiser. But while that was happening, the target's associates attacked a work site, stealing the American cash that was being stored there.

Derrick had been killed in the attack.

For days, Sarah questioned whether she led their target's associates to Derrick. She became the Ice Queen, and hunted them all down. Every member of their target's associates. Only once she was done, did she allow herself a moment's peace, and that was when she began to question herself.

"Remember when you and Carina talked to me, worried I was drinking too much, not letting anyone into my life?" Sarah asked. Zondra nodded. "It started because of Derrick. No, I didn't love him, but I liked him. And he died. And I thought it was because of me. Even after I found all those men, I thought it was because of me."

"Sarah," Zondra began, but stopped when Sarah shook her head.

"I've told Chuck all of my past… except Derrick. Because honestly, for the last three years, I haven't really thought about it," Sarah continued. "What I've thought about…" She chuckled. "What I've thought about is a cozy evening at home, with Chuck." Zondra shook her head, smiling. "What I've thought about is a life with Chuck… a real life, and that mission… excuse me, case…"

"Aren't they all missions?" Zondra asked.

"In a way, yeah," Sarah admitted. "That case brought out a lot of things in me. While I was drugged, I saw Chuck killed, trying to propose to me." Sarah pressed her lips together and tried to stop from tearing up.

"Please don't kick my ass," Zondra muttered. She crossed the distance between them, pulling Sarah into a hug. Sarah shocked Zondra by pulling her in tight as well. The two women stood there in the hug for some time. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you," Sarah admitted. She pulled back. "Amy?"

"Yep," Zondra replied.

"Fuck!" Sarah swore. "I want you to know my shoulder just now feels like it's right again."

"I don't know if mine ever will," Zondra admitted. "Listen, my story is long, and I'm sure you want Chuck to hear it, because it seems like that's who you are now."

"You've been spying on me," Sarah accused, grinning at her friend.

"You like it," Zondra replied with a wink, making them both laugh. "Teddy had Chuck on his radar. He had him checked out by his head of security."

"Who's his head of security?" Sarah asked. Zondra winced and then smiled. "Of course you are." She was silent a moment. "My mom… Molly?"

"I saved Molly, and we needed somewhere to keep her that was safe," Zondra replied. "And please understand, I don't mean safe as hiding her from the bad guys. I took care of them. We needed somewhere that she would be loved. We needed someone who would love her like she was one of her own. All of the stories you told me about your mom… there was only one person who it could be, Sarah."

"She is pretty awesome," Sarah admitted.

"About this Chuck guy," Zondra began.

"I love him, and he's my future," Sarah told Zondra.

"Okay, that's what I needed to know," Zondra told her. "I guess we need to talk to everyone."

"Not yet," Sarah said. "I need to talk to Chuck. You know me and words." Zondra snorted. "I need to talk to him about Derrick, and some things that have happened between me and Chuck." Sarah took a deep breath. "I don't want to cause any problems with you at your job. I'm assuming your undercover?"

"I am," Zondra told her, "With the NSA." Sarah lifted one eyebrow. "I was kicked out of the CIA for going rogue."

"Dan is NSA as well, huh?" Sarah asked, but she knew. "So did Diane set me up?"

"No, all of this came about after you were in LA, and we wanted to keep you out of things. However, you found your way into them," Zondra told her.

"Because of course we did," Sarah said, shaking her head. She looked at the door. "You know they're going to be really disappointed we didn't have a big fight."

"Screw 'em," Zondra said. "They didn't have to rehab the last one." She gave Sarah a look. "Missed you, Sarah."

"Missed you, Z," Sarah replied.

"I've included in my report to Roark that hiring you to work on different things would keep you and your company close, and allow me to better observe what is going on," Zondra told Sarah. "So, you know, we could have lunch sometime."

"I'd love that," Sarah told her. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Bet Roark ate that up."

"He's such an arrogant prick," Zondra muttered, shaking her head. "I don't know of anything I've ever done that made me feel as slimy as I do when talking to that man."

"Okay, I'm going to help-"

"Nope," Zondra said. "It's my case, and I'm keeping you and Chuck out of it as best I can." Sarah started to laugh. "I'm serious."

"Oh, I know you are. You just don't know Chuck that well," Sarah replied.

}o{

"So, Dan," Chuck said, waiting for Dan to take a sip of his coffee. "How long have you been working for the NSA?" Dan nearly choked on his coffee. "I mean, Casey and Carina know what's going on, and they came in expecting to see Sarah and Zondra fighting. I had to ask myself, how? You and Zondra are both out of the CIA, Casey is quasi-NSA, and my guess is this is an operation on American soil. So… How long have you been working for the NSA?"

"You think I would work under Diane?" Dan asked.

"For the love of God, do not answer that," Casey groaned. Carina smirked.

"Was I set up, Casey?" Chuck asked, his gaze locked on Dan.

"No, Bartowski," Casey replied. "If anything, this all went down to keep you and Walker out of this operation. It's my and Carina's fault you got pulled into it."

"It's my fault," Carina said. "It was another thing we fought about. Casey was hurting because of losing his friend, and then… then Henry was having the problems he was having…"

"You didn't know there was a tie-in to Roark," Casey told her. Chuck gave him a look.

"Of all the times you chose to speak instead of grunt," Carina grumbled, looking at Casey. He started to speak, and her look intensified. "You've lost speaking privileges for the day." Casey sighed.

Chuck started to interject, but thought better of it.

"Whatever you're imagining that Carina can do to get Jonathan to agree not to speak… it's probably not nearly naughty enough," Dan commented, taking a sip from his cup.

"His name isn't Jonathan," Carina pointed out.

"And that's the part you're correcting?" Dan asked, smirking.

"You said Roark," Chuck said, returning them to the conversation they didn't want to have.

"Should have known Casey would screw it up," came the voice behind them. Chuck turned and saw Zondra and Sarah. He was inspecting them closely. He saw no marks, bruises, or any indication of a physical altercation. His eyes held Sarah's for a moment, and she winked at him. His worry evaporated. "So, Monday, Dan and I are coming into the office to put you on retainer."

"We already are," Chuck pointed out.

"For Roark Industries," Zondra clarified.

"I don't like that idea," Chuck said, shaking his head.

"So you're against taking bad guy's money and using it for good, but okay with taking the money of an American taxpayer?" Casey asked. Carina shot him a look. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"I swear to God, I'm too young to know," Chuck muttered.

"You could die of old age, and be too young," Dan said. Chuck looked at Carina, who didn't disagree. She shrugged, making Chuck shudder. "Charles, I understand your distaste in taking Roark's money, but John is right."

"Also, it lessens your risk of exposure," Zondra pointed out.

"Really?" Dan asked. "I hadn't thought of that." Sarah snorted.

"We're going home," Sarah told Chuck.

"You know I was thinking about those chimichangas," Chuck said. Everyone quickly realized that they were paying attention to no one else, but each other. "I think the air fryer could do amazing things with them."

"What's he trying to do, knock her up?" Carina asked.

"Good God, is she gone," Zondra added.

"Let's go, Chuck," Sarah said, sliding her arm into his. "And on the way you can tell me what you'd do with left over pizza."

"Are we talking pizza from the night before for breakfast, or reheating for an evening meal?" Chuck inquired as they walked out the door.

"She's gonna have triplets by the time he's done with her," Carina muttered. Zondra gave her a look. "Yeah, it makes no sense… but it does."

"She's right," Dan agreed. "It does."

}o{

Chuck sat down in the passenger's seat, put on his seat belt, and waited. The car wasn't moving. He looked over at Sarah, who was sitting there, lost in thought. "Want me to drive?"

She shook her head, looked over at him and smiled. "I need to tell you another story about my past," she began. She saw the look on his face. "It has helped me realize something about why I have been the way I have been, lately."

"Well, why don't you tell me, and then we can talk about it," Chuck suggested.

Sarah nodded, putting the car in drive. "So, one of our first missions as a team was in Warsaw," she began.

}o{

They pulled up to the house, both silent since Sarah had finished telling Chuck about Poland. He got out of the car, walked around, opened her door, took her hand, all while she was laughing at him, shut her car door, and led her to the house. She started to speak but he gently laid a finger on her lips. Leading her to the front door, he opened it. Holding up a finger, he rushed back to the car for their leftovers and returned, making her laugh.

He led her into the house, stopping by the kitchen to put the food in the refrigerator. Leading her to the master bath, he started the water, testing it until the temperature met his satisfaction. He dug around under the sink, and pulled up a bottle of bubble bath, bouncing his eyebrows.

She giggled, nodding.

Chuck added the bubble bath, returned it under the sink, and turning to her, reached for her shirt. He paused and looked at her, waiting for approval. She nodded, and he slowly undressed her. Reaching over, he turned off the water, took her hand, and helped her into the bath. She sank down, sighing contently. He pulled out his phone, hit some buttons, and smooth jazz began to softly play.

He held up a finger, leaving the bathroom. He returned a few seconds later with candles and a lighter. Placing them around the room, he lit them, dimming the lights.

"You trying to seduce me, Chuck? Because you can consider me seduced," she told him. He sat down on the side of the tub and held out his hands. She gave him an amused look, lifting her leg. He took her foot in his hand and began to massage it.

"Fine, I'll have the triplets," she muttered.

"I need to talk, and I need you to listen," Chuck began. She nodded. "You have lived a hell of a life. You have been through many things. Your childhood was…"

"Criminal," Sarah suggested.

"Some could say that," Chuck admitted. "But you put up with things a child never should have had to. Then, you went into the CIA. A man, with whom you had a relationship, died-"

"I wasn't in love with him," Sarah protested.

"So?" Chuck asked. "A human being that you cared for died, and you had reasons to believe, it was your fault. No, strike that. A human being you care for, died."

Sarah nodded.

"You cut yourself off from the world." Sarah started to protest, but he continued, undeterred. "As the guy who hid in the Buy More, trust me when I say I know someone can hide in plain sight." She started to argue when he hit a spot that made her moan. "Woman…"

"Sorry, but I'm only human," Sarah said. She wiggled her toes at him, making him laugh. "Any chance you can do the other foot?"

"Only if you let me say what else I have to say," Chuck told her.

"Deal!" she said, quickly shooting the other leg out of the water. It splashed him, making him laugh.

He took her foot into his hands. "Then you meet me, and you felt things."

"So many things," Sarah said.

"And you were scared someone you cared for, in whatever way you cared for me, might get hurt – or worse – because of you," Chuck continued. Sarah nodded. "Then you saw a doctor die, for being himself, and you saw a woman devastated."

"When I kept you at arm's length, I could keep those fears at arm's length," Sarah said softly. Chuck gave her a look. "What?"

"Those nights you snuggled against me sleeping were at arm's length?" Sarah grinned at him. "It's okay to feel things, to worry about things. We're talking about this, we're doing what we can. Hell, Sarah, trust me; with the last case, I understand the fear of losing you."

"Maybe I need to make sure you aren't at arm's length ever again," Sarah said, reaching up and grabbing his shirt.

"Sarah, you're getting me wet," Chuck told her. She grinned, evilly. "Sarah?"

"You have no idea how wet you're about to get," she said. She kissed him, and began to lean back, dragging him with her into the tub.

"My clothes will get wet," he protested.

"We have a washer and dryer," she told him. She kissed him again.

"I'm soaked," he told her, after she pulled away. They were both grinning madly at each other.

"I guess you should get those wet clothes off, before you catch cold," Sarah said.

"Well, you do have CIA training," he said, as she pulled his shirt off.

"Chuck," she said, cupping his cheek with her hand. "I love you."

"I love you, Sarah," Chuck replied. "I guess those chimichangas will have to wait 'til tomorrow."

"We can have them later… you might need some nourishment."

"Should I go heat up the air fryer?" he asked.

"Chuck, shut up and kiss me."

A/N: …..I'm sure the bathroom floor is flooded…What? You were thinking it.

Next time:

"Be patient with her," Emma said. Chuck looked at Molly, trying to think when he hadn't been patient. "Not her, my other one."

"Oh," Chuck said, nodding.

"I don't know how much Sarah knows about what happened to her, but Sarah…she was a target." Chuck turned to look at Emma. "I met with the Director of the CIA when I was introduced to Molly. I found out about this program that the former Director was running, called 'Valkyrie Army,'" Emma explained. "Sarah was targeted."

"When you say targeted?" Chuck asked.

"When she was little, she was tested," Emma explained, crossing her arms in a way that seemed to be hugging herself, protecting herself. "All kids were, medically, socially, and physically. They used regular doctors tests. The director accessed those files to see who fit a certain criteria. She fit all the criteria, and then other tests were run. They were under the guise of being gifted, testing for physical 'abnormalities' that she didn't have, but they wanted to see what her limits were at a young age."

….Told you all that writing mysteries and things like this were my jam….Take care of yourselves and hopefully I'll post soon. Hopefully. *Shakes fist at sky* Leave me alone long-Covid!