"What is your name?" Bella tried again, making her voice as non-threatening as possible.
The girl just stared at her, wide-eyed, focusing on different spots of Bella's skin. Bella knew she was inspecting each scar, each bite mark, seeing the clear warnings there. But the new vampire didn't shift into a defensive posture. She didn't hiss, growl, or attack. She just sat there, clearly terrified.
"My name is Bella."
No response.
"Xavi, could you convince our new friend to be more cooperative?" Leanne was leaning against the farthest wall, swirling a small glass of amber liquid under her nose.
"No," Bella whispered, extending her shield over the girl. It was effortless now, after having to keep Jamie under it constantly.
The girl looked around at the others. A few of the newborns were watching curiously, but most of them had seen it several times already. The awakening of their brothers and sisters.
"No one is going to hurt you," Bella murmured, although it was impossible to ignore the scent of dead vampire that still hung heavy in the air after their last culling. She wondered if the girl knew what she was smelling.
Finally, after another hour of coaxing, the girl met Bella's eye. Her eyes were wide and red, terrified, and her darker skin had turned almost luminescent now, as if she were emitting moonlight. Her face, which had been soft and round as a human, was more defined. But she still had that look, the one that had allowed Bella to do the impossible. Vulnerable, innocent, naïve.
The girl cleared her throat unnecessarily. Bella was sure it was the unforgiving thirst she was trying to clear.
"I know, we'll go hunting soon," Bella tried to comfort the girl, but, if possible, her eyes just became wider.
Bella cocked her head, unsure how to proceed with this. She had helped control so many newborns by now, she had lost count, but this was an anomaly she hadn't seen before. Timid, silent, afraid to hunt.
She turned her face up to Jamie, who was observing from the rafters, clearly amused.
Bella grumbled in frustration. How could she be expected to keep her patience when she was still technically a newborn herself?
But she managed. There was just something about this girl.
Just as she was about to give up, the girl spoke in a whisper so low, Bella almost didn't hear it. "My name is Paloma."
"It's nice to meet you Paloma." Bella smiled. "I'm sure you have many questions."
Things did not get any easier. The hunt went horribly. Paloma had not been able to resist the smell of a passing human, but had sat by the body, sobbing tearlessly afterwards. She was afraid of everything and did not appear to have a fighting bone in her body.
Bella saw the similarities to Renee now. It wasn't in appearance, but in nature. Renee had needed Bella. She had always had a child-like innocence about her, making Bella want to care for her and meet her needs, almost as if she were the parent and Renee the child. Renee had been the gentlest of souls, unwilling to harm and seeming almost surprised when others didn't share the same gentleness.
A new wave of grief washed over Bella as she remembered her mother more clearly than ever, thanks to Paloma, and a growing sense of dread accompanied it.
Paloma was not going to last much longer. Jamie had no place for such a delicate disposition, and Bella was certain that Paloma had mere days, at best, left to live. It was only Bella's attachment that had saved her thus far.
The previous day, Leanne had thrown Paloma into a training exercise, possibly hoping to coax out a fighter by force. But all that had accomplished was Bella jumping in and beating Dominic herself, unwilling to see Paloma get hurt. Dominic had surrendered immediately, knowing that hurting Bella would mean retribution from Jamie.
But Jamie had been watching, and he was not pleased.
That night, Bella had a whispered conversation with Leanne in the rafters. Leanne was swirling the whiskey again, inhaling its aroma as if it were the sweetest blood.
"Why do you do that?" Bella asked, her nose wrinkled against the rancid smell.
Leanne just smiled. "You know, as a human, this was practically my lifeline. Old habits die hard, I guess."
Bella glanced down, watching the restless group of vampires. They would have to move on again soon, somewhere more open and less conspicuous, as their numbers were still growing. Bella stilled at the realization.
Leanne seemed to know what she was thinking. "You know she won't be brought along."
It was a statement. They both knew that was true.
Bella turned to Leanne, trying to keep her tone neutral. "How can you keep doing this?"
"Did you ever learn about World War II in school?" Leanne asked.
Bella nodded, a little surprised at the question, and Leanne's willingness to talk to her at all.
"So you learned about all the atrocities that humans commit against each other. The incalculable amount of suffering they like to inflict."
Bella nodded once. There were vague memories of school lessons, but nothing definitive.
"Well, I lived it. I was an army nurse. I had to try to piece together the men they brought back, broken and dying. It's a lot harder to put a human back together than a vampire. After seeing all I've seen, in my past life and in this one, I know there is no right or wrong in this world. No fairness. No mercy. Mercy is a fairytale dreamed up by the weak. It's kill or be killed, no matter what species you are." Leanne dropped her glass of whiskey and watched it explode off the ground below. "And I intend to not be killed."
She dropped down, leaving Bella alone in the rafters.
It was a hastily thought of plan, but Bella knew she didn't have as much time as she had counted on.
Paloma was going to die. Sweet, compassionate Paloma whom she didn't know in the slightest.
The first step of her plan was to get Xavi alone.
"Xavi, let's go hunt. I'm in the mood for an easy meal." Bella kept her voice as casual as possible.
Xavi rolled his eyes but followed her out. She knew neither Leanne nor Jamie could follow them. With the size of their army now, at least two of the senior three had to stay at all times. Plus, with Xavi leaving as well, Jamie was fine going without the protection of Bella's shield.
She waited until they were deep in the heart of the city, surrounded by beating hearts and sweet blood.
She shrugged when Xavi looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to pick her victim. "You choose."
She stayed across the street and watched Xavi meander over to a middle-aged man at a human pace. It was almost unnerving to see him move so slowly, and it made Bella even more anxious.
She listened in on their short conversation.
Xavi never had to ask twice. Bella smirked as she remembered his shocked face in that gas station store when she denied his request. But her humor was short-lived. Thinking of the gas station made her think of her mother, and her mood sank back into anxiety and grief.
She made quick work of the delivered meal, but felt sick afterwards. As she hauled the body away to a less conspicuous spot, she pictured Paloma sobbing tearless sobs over her last kill. Bella had managed to sever the connection to her conscience, but Paloma was slowly mending it.
"Xavi, wait." Bella reached instinctively to touch his arm.
He jerked out from under her touch with a menacing hiss, and Bella whispered a quick apology, clasping her hands tightly together.
"What is it?" He asked after a second, annoyed at her hesitation.
"You don't want me here," Bella said. She would have been breathless, heart racing, if she was still human. A nervous wreck.
Xavi just raised his eyebrows. She wasn't stating anything new. She hesitated again, holding her breath, blocking out the sounds of civilization just a few yards away. This was the most dangerous thing she had ever done in her short second life.
"What if I told you there was a way to get rid of me? A way to get your influence over Jamie back?"
Xavi froze, his face blank. They stood there for a full minute, both completely aware of how dangerous this could be for them. She knew he would consider the possibility of a trap.
"I need to save Paloma," she whispered and Xavi's eyes narrowed.
"How do you plan on doing that?" He skirted around agreeing to any plan.
Smart.
"Jamie has gotten comfortable. He doesn't question if the shield is up as much, he just expects it. He expects my loyalty because…" Bella trailed off.
"Because you're screwing him," Xavi offered indelicately.
"Yes," Bella agreed. "I think he overestimates my emotional attachment to him."
"Well, he's always been a self-assured ass when it comes to that."
"Anyway," Bella continued. "If I were to drop the shield tonight, he probably wouldn't notice. You could get him to hold off at least for a short time. Enough to give me and Paloma a head start."
Bella was tense, waiting for Xavi's response. He didn't give anything away, but stayed frozen and stoic. Considering. She started to hope.
"You'll leave? For good?" He asked.
Bella nodded once, jaw clenched in anxiety.
Finally, Xavi spoke again. "I won't do it for long. He'll know I helped if I make it obvious. A little hesitation. That's all I can promise you."
Bella breathed out in relief. She had expected him to refuse.
"Thank you."
"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it to get rid of you."
"I know."
"And you know Leanne is a tracker. A damn good one, too. She doesn't just rely on the mind to find her mark."
"I know. But I've still got the upper hand there."
Xavi just shook his head.
"How can I let you know when the shield is down?"
"I've been playing in Jamie's head for decades." Xavi turned away from her. "Trust me, I'll know."
And with that, they both took off running, possibly back to their deaths.
Bella had relied on her survival instinct for so long, that it took all of her willpower to force it down now. Because this was as close to a suicide mission as you could get.
Leanne was eyeing the two of them with some suspicion, but remained silent. Bella went straight to Paloma, who was huddled in the corner, relieved to see that she had lasted. Jamie may have seen Bella's absence as the best opportunity to get rid of her little pet.
Bella smoothed down the girl's shiny hair, and she seemed to relax a tiny bit under the comfort.
"I'll be right back," Bella whispered.
"Jamie." Bella climbed to the tiny loft that Jamie had claimed as his own space. It offered some privacy visually, if not vocally. He was reclining in a very human-like manner, and Bella realized he was looking at the stars through the cracks in the ceiling.
He looked up at the intensity of her voice and smiled. She was smirking at him as she dropped to his side and pressed her mouth to his, pulling at his hair.
"Good hunt I take it?" He asked, bemused but pleased at her eagerness.
"Very good." Her tone was clipped, and she hoped he attributed it to arousal rather than anxiety.
"Hmmm," he hummed appreciatively as she straddled his hips. He moaned her name as she nibbled at his ear, sucked at his neck, and kissed his mouth. She opened it with hers and tasted the cool sweetness of his tongue, a taste and scent unique to Jamie.
He flipped her over, as she knew he would eventually. Her pace never satisfied him, and he was always happier when he was in control. They moved in total sync, her hips rising to meet his rapid pace, her moans of genuine pleasure harmonizing with his. Maybe because she knew it was the last time, it was better than ever before.
He rolled off of her, but only for a moment. He was ready again too soon, and Bella considered finding an excuse to get away, but knew she needed him in the most relaxed mood possible. It was why she had come up here in the first place. Two things put Jamie in his best mood: winning a battle and sex.
Enjoy this, she thought bitterly to him, and wondered how long it would be before he found a new favorite to play with.
When he was satiated, Bella dressed quickly, but dropped back into Jamie's lap, facing him. She knew he could see the intensity in her eyes.
"I'm going to dispose of Paloma," he said matter-of-factly, so low that there was no chance it traveled down to the frightened newborn.
"I know," Bella whispered back. "I need to say goodbye."
To you, she finished in her head.
But Jamie didn't suspect a thing. So sure of himself, of her affection for him.
He nodded indulgently. "Make it quick."
She nodded, dropping down to the floor. As soon as she was on the ground, her panic spiked, but so did her resolve. She walked purposely towards Paloma, holding a hand out to the girl, who looked alarmed at her approach.
"Come with me," Bella commanded, and Paloma rose, taking her hand without question.
She trusts me.
If Bella died protecting this girl, which seemed likely, then she could make her peace with that. At least she would have done one good thing in this second life of hers after committing so much horror.
As soon as they walked outside, Bella peeled away the shield from Jamie. She had protected his mind for so long, that it felt as wrong exposing him now as it had that first day she had tried to expand it. The shield seemed to mold back to her form and she took in a breath. This was it. Her last chance to turn around and change her mind. Every basal instinct in her body told her to go back inside, to stay close to Jamie, to live.
She looked at Paloma and mouthed one silent word.
Run.