HelloEver22: Thank you!
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Chapter 12
September 7th, 2023: Evening.
At a large table in the only (very crowded) tavern on the whole island-
*GLUG, GLUG GLUG!*
"Hey, barkeep! Another round~!" cried out an usually bubbly and lively bespectacled blonde waving around an empty mug that looked just a little too big in her comparatively small hands.
"Um Enterprise, haven't you already had like, four drinks already?" Liam asked, still nursing his second drink of the evening and seriously wondering if shipgirls could even get drunk. 'At the very least, they can definitely out-drink me... not that that's saying much anyway...'
"Oh, it's no big deal, Master! If anything, you should be drinking more! Right Bel? Everyone?" Enterprise replied with the faintest tinge of pink dusting her tanned cheeks while nudging Liam to hurry up join the drunk side.
New Jersey, for her part, just chuckled at the sight while leisurely knocking back her third mug of ale. "Honey just likes taking his time drinkin', y'know? Plus, he's kind of a light weight anyway, so don't be too hard on him, 'kay?"
"Wait, really?" asked the now wide eyed and genuinely surprised, bespectacled bibliophile maid. "Huh. Wait, so how light are we talking here? Like, 'passes out after just a few drinks' light?"
"Take a look. He's already a little tipsy," Jean Bart noted with a teasing little smirk, pointing over at a slightly buzzed Liam. "It's why he's only really finished just one drink since we got here."
"Master might not be much for libations, true, but he can certainly pack the food away though. He's already eaten a good two dozen house special extra spicy hot wings already," Belfast added with a light giggle, pointing to the two empty plates currently being taken away and exchanged for a third. "Speaking of which, I must make sure to see if I can learn their recipe later."
"He isn't the only one, Frau Alabama is already working on her third extra large hot roast turkey sandwich," Prinz Eugen said, lazily gesturing to said quiet beauty sitting to her left busy stuffing her face. "Can't say I blame them though. The food here really is quite good."
It was around this time that the tavern's owner and head chef had decided to come out of the kitchen and check in on their new guests and heard the shipgirls' compliments and couldn't help but feel an enormous sense of pride that his cooking was such a hit with the beautiful, living legends.
"Well, I'm glad you like the food! With not really bein' allowed to leave n all, ain't much else to do but improve on my trade, y'know? They ain't family recipes, but I spent a long time gettin' 'em just the way I want 'em!" proudly declared the rather tan and older bearded man with a wide, toothy grin and lightly puffing out his broad chest.
Belfast, in her usually well practiced and almost all too perfect way, gave the proud chef a polite smile. "I hope you don't find this too forward of me to ask after only just meeting, but would you mind terribly if I asked you to teach me some of your recipes?"
"Huh? A classy beauty like you'd really wanna learn to cook from a schmuck like me?" the man asked, honestly a bit surprised but secretly very flattered all the same.
Belfast nodded. "Absolutely sir. As my Master's ever faithful maid and one who truly enjoys taking care of my family, I am always on the lookout for new delicacies to add to my repertoire. It would be my honor to learn from one so experienced in the culinary arts."
"... *Nom, nom, nom, gulp!* Yeah, everythin' here's super tasty! Least, I'd eat it every day if I could," Alabama added after wiping her gravy smeared lips, a very satisfied smile on her usually placid yet lovely face.
"Yeah, I mean, I've had my fair share of wings from all over the place, but these are definitely the best I've ever had!" Liam said, well on his way working through his third plate.
The older chef with the light stubble couldn't help but scratch the back of his head in mild embarrassment as he took in his guests' honest words of praise. "W, Well, if you really wouldn't mind learnin' from an old man like me, then I don't mind! Just, uh, come by whenever you get a chance and I think we can work somethin' out."
"Wonderful! I will be sure to take you up on that most kind offer, sir," Belfast said with a smile.
"Alrighty then, jus' let one of my girls know if you need somethin' then, yeah? I gotta get back to the kitchen now. Lots of orders to take care of and all!"
Hearing that, Belfast's eyes lit up. "Master, would yo mind if I...-"
Having somewhat learned to understand his super maid somewhat, Liam simply nodded as he beat her to the punch.
"-Sure, if it's okay with him, that is."
"Hmm? What's up?"
The silver haired maid then turned to the older, well built but friendly tavern owner and chef.
"If it wouldn't be too troublesome, sir, would you mind terribly if we started on those lessons now? In return, I could wait tables or help in the kitchen perhaps?" Belfast proposed, more than happy to seize on this golden moment.
"Oh yeah? You sure? I mean, I'd love the help, but I can't be makin' our honored guests do somethin' like that..."
Belfast shook her head. "It's no trouble at all, sir. Also," she then gestured to the very, very crowded bar full of people watching and talking about Liam and the shipgirls. "you look like you could use the extra help with how busy it is, no."
"Haha, true! Business really picked up tonight because of you, huh? Alrighty then, follow me!"
"Yes, sir." Belfast then rose and turned to Liam. "Master, if you'll excuse me."
"Just have fun, yeah?" Liam said with a small smile. "Actually, if anything, I'm looking forward to see what you'll make for us! I dunno why, but no matter how much I eat, I'm still really hungry so..."
"Haha! Not really a surprise Honey!" New Jersey said with a hearty laugh, a wing in hand courtesy of Liam's plate. "We've been workin' on your magic and physical training pretty hard along on top of active mages havin' a higher metabolism because of that, so eat up!"
"... Says the shipgirl stealing my wings."
"Yup!"
- At the same time, at another table in the tavern -
At a random table in the left end of the tavern.
"So, how is it that a guy like that is their Commander again? He's not even a part of Azur Lane, so how in the fuck did he end up with all those shipgirls? Lucky fucker...!" grumbled taller of two former Azur Lane Alliance soldiers seated there.
His friend, the shorter of the two former Azur Lane Alliance soldiers, just shrugged. "Who knows, but you know you could just ask them, right? The Mayor did say it was fine to ask them whatever questions we might have so long as we answer theirs didn't he? Now seems like as good time as any to me. Still, didn't figure you were the jealous type... And aren't you married?"
"...So what if I am? Anyway, not even the point here! I mean, a boring lookin' fuck like him has a literal battle harem! Like, how in the actual fuck, y'know?" the man half asked, half shouted with a slur before slamming his empty mug down. Incidentally, that was his fifth mug of ale by now.
His friend just rolled his eyes. "I'm gay and dating your brother, remember? Besides, he's not really my type anyway so no, I don't really care."
"Pfft, whatever," the drunk man said dismissively before getting up to leave.
"Hey, wait! Are you seriously going!?"
"Yes! Now shut the hell up and come on!"
His friend just shook his head and quietly followed after his friend, resigned to his fate but really hoping his friend wouldn't say or do anything too stupid. 'Oh who am I kidding, this is Rick we're talking about here...'
- Back with Liam and the Shipgirls' -
While enjoying the tail end of their dinner, Liam noticed a pair of men headed their way for some reason. '...Hm? Who are they? Do they need something?'
It didn't take long for him to get his answer.
"...Yo! You got a sec?"
At those words, everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their full attention on the two men who just showed up. It wasn't just them either, but nearly everyone in the tavern but the kitchen staff too. Fortunately, or unfortunately (depending on one's perspective), alcohol did wonders for one's courage and not caring about the peanut gallery.
...
Well, for one of the two, anyway.
'...Seriously, this many people silently staring at us like this is... way rougher on the nerves than I thought it'd be. Tony, I need cuddles...!' mentally muttered the poor tag-along standing by his idiot friend.
"...Um, sure. Did you guys need something from us?" Liam asked.
"...Yeah. How, how did a boring ass, plain looking nobody guy like you get to be a Commander to all these hotties?" brazenly and rudely asked the drunker of the two men with little to no shame at all.
His poor friend, meanwhile, really wanted to just slink away and leave Rick to his fate. Unfortunately, it was too little, too late for that now... 'Oh, great job you dumbass. Just go ahead and low-key insult the shipgirls' most important person ever right to his face and right in front of him... And yeah, I am not liking the looks on some of those girls' faces either...! ...Dammit Rick..!'
Save for the drunken fool who asked the question, everyone present felt the temperature suddenly plummet below freezing along with the rising heavy pressure of six now very, very angry shipgirls doing their absolute best to keep their emotions under control and not act out, even reminding themselves over and over... and over again that the idiot just had one too many drinks.
...
Sadly, the fool decided to pour more oil into the barely contained fire of six already seething and angry human shaped weapons.
"Like I said, how did a boring ass, plain looking nobody like you get to be a Commander? I heard you aren't even a part of the Azur Lane Alliance, right? So what's the deal? How'd it happen?"
"Okay, um, fair question... but why am I automatically a 'boring ass, plain looking nobody', exactly? I mean I can't exactly argue that, I guess... but do I really come off that lame?"
"No offense, but you don't exactly look or walk the part. Sorry, but I don't get it... I mean," the man rambled out, scratching the back of his head and trying really hard to get his alcohol filled head to make sense of his jumbled thoughts in order while being completely oblivious to just how rude he was. Case in point, he didn't notice his friend slowly edging away with every word he spoke. "how'd some random loser like you even get that lucky..? Like, shouldn't a rank amateur and definitely unqualified civilian like you leave that stuff to real soldiers like me?"
(... cue the sound of a steel wire finally, and violently, snapping in two from the pressure)
And there it was. Drunk or not, that was just one step too far for the shipgirls now outright glaring at him.
"...What? What's with the dirty looks, huh? And why'd it get all quiet all of a sudden? I was just asking the guy a simple question here, sheez!"
It should be noted that, drunk or not, the man in question was never really known for being particularly delicate, or tactful, with his words and usually only ever came off as rude to almost everyone he spoke to; something the locals had plenty of time to get used to and hadn't automatically thought much about even with their new guests present, let alone warn them about... and it was far too late to regret things now. Far, far too late.
"...Oi."
"...Huh? What's up cutie? Need somethin'?"
Especially for one usually outwardly calm but internally very passionate, brunette ponytailed battleship named Jean Bart.
"What the hell do ya think yer doin' just runnin' at the mouth like that about my Commander like that, huh!?"
"The hell's your problem? I'm just askin' how a guy like that could even be a Commander, that's all. Ain't my fault he looks like such a plain lookin' loser! Just calm the fuck down! 's no need to get yer panties in a twist over it!"
And that was all she needed to hear before emotions overrode logic and her fist flew. Luckily, she still held back enough so as not to seriously injure the poor dumbass even if he did have it coming. After all, angry or not, a shipgirl's first priority 'was' to protect humans, not beat them to death for running their mouths. 'Still, I think I can get away with givin' him a broken jaw at least, right?'
Jean Bart smirked with clear satisfaction as she savored the sensation of her fist sinking nicely into that rude asshole's face that ultimately sent him flying back several feet into the hastily abandoned table behind him. As for Liam and her other sisters? Naturally, their thoughts and reactions varied quite a bit.
"...Jean Bart!? Holy shit, is he okay...?" Liam couldn't believe his eyes. Then again, he learned pretty early on when dealing people that, more often than not, it was the calm, collected, and/or quiet ones that were the ones you actually needed to watch out for, which was doubly true for shipgirls... like Eldridge and Belfast for instance. 'Speaking of Belfast, I'm glad she's in the kitchen right now. Wait, she is still in the kitchen, right...? Oh man, I really hope she is...!' Liam could only pray that was the case, otherwise... 'Yeah, no. I don't even wanna imagine what would happen if she heard all that...!'
"...Oh wow, Jeanie must be seriously mad if she's talkin' like that, huh?" Alabama observed, a little smirk gracing her otherwise usually expressionless, face.
"Huh? Oh, you're right," Enterprise nodded, finally noticing what Alabama meant. "She sounds a bit more coarse than usual..."
"Ahaha~ Yeah, Jeanie tries to come off all mature and detached most of the time but underneath that mask has a real nasty and short temper though!" New Jersey shared with a light, cheerful laugh.
Prinz Eugen, for her part, felt that wretch of a human got what he deserved and simply decided to sit back and enjoy the show, complete with a mug of beer and her characteristic unreadable smile.
"...Um, shouldn't we step in or something?" Liam asked, a bit worried Jean Bart might've hit the guy a little too hard.
"Nein, no need. It seems that dummkopf is surprisingly more sturdy than he looks, so he should be fine."
"...Really?"
The Iron Blood silverette nodded before gesturing with her chin. "Ja. Look."
True enough, said drunken dumbass slowly picked himself off the ground none the worse for wear. That said, he was rubbing his now bruised and swollen jaw while cussing up a storm under his breath.
"...The fuck was that for, you crazy bitch!" the still alcohol addled and fuming idiot loudly asked, knocking away a chair as he stomped back over to, and glaring down at, a still quietly seething Jean Bart. "Seriously, the fuck is your problem, huh!?"
"...Ya had the nerve to insult my Commander and then dare ask what the fuck my problem is?" Jean Bart shot back with an equally nasty glare at the stupid sack of walking, human shaped garbage in front of her with her fists tightly clenched and ready to take another swing the instant he so much as breathed in front of her, her fleet sisters, or Commander the wrong way.
...And of course: flaring tempers, perceived injustices, and one two many drinks made for the worst combination possible as the former Azur Lane grunt took even more offense to being glared at, especially by the little brunette, ponytail'd bitch who had the gall to punch him in the face like that.
"...You uppity bitch! I don't give a fuck if the old man says you're our honored guests or not! Fuck you, and fuck that loser you call your Commander too! Now get the fuck off your high horse and apologize for hitting me for no reason, you red eyed cunt!" the man shouted back, long since consumed by his rage. Meanwhile, the people who stuck around whispered amongst themselves, wondering if maybe one of them should step in or call for help... just as Belfast and the friendly older chef finished up in the kitchen and came out with a few plates of food in hand only to witness the start of a possible massacre and some broken furniture.
"Oi! Just what the hell is going on out here!? Who the hell busted up my table? Better yet, who the hell is gonna pay to get it fixed!?" the normally friendly and laid back tall, well built, and now quite livid chef/tavern owner bellowed, shocking everyone back to reality.
"...Lady Jean Bart? Just what is going on here?" Belfast asked, a look of slight confusion on her face.
"...Um, are you telling me you didn't hear any of that? Really?" Enterprise asked, honestly surprised they hadn't heard the commotion.
Belfast shook her head. "No. Apparently, the kitchen itself is magically sound proofed."
"Wait, really?"
Belfast nodded. "Yes, you see Mister Barrie here mentioned that it helped him concentrate on cooking and that, if it was an emergency, that someone would get him."
"So a whole lot of shouting and a guy getting punched into a table didn't get anyone to get you guys?" Liam asked, finding that a little hard to believe. "What, does this kind of thing happen a lot around here or something?"
The older chef, one Alex Barrie and a few of his staff, looked away in mild embarrassment...
"So bar brawls are actually a regular thing around here!?"
"...Um, well. Not being able to leave, people can get a little stir crazy sometimes y'see," Mister Barrie admitted with a sigh, tossing an irritated glance at the drunk ex-soldier who started this whole mess. "...Been awhile lately, but I'm guessin' Rick there musta said or done somethin' to upset your lady friend there?"
"Hey! All I did was ask a simple question! It ain't my fault that this crazy bitch overreacted!" Rick indignantly protested, pointing a very angry finger at a deeply frowning Jean Bart.
"You repeatedly insulted my Commander you drunk piece of shit!" Jean Bart shot back in a low and calm, yet still very, very angry voice.
"...Dammit Rick..," Mister Barrie grumbled, tiredly rubbing his brow in a practiced way that spoke volumes of how often this kind of thing must've been. "Okay, Jack? Tell me what the hell this dumbass did, wouldja?"
The now named Jack couldn't help but let out a quiet groan as he slowly walked over, seriously wishing his boyfriend Tony were here with him. '...I better get me some fucking cuddles after all this!'
"...Well?"
Jack sighed as he collected his thoughts. "Well, it's basically like what this idiot said. But Rick, in his infinite drunken wisdom, worded things in the rudest way possible and ended up pissing off the shipgirls... which ended up with the ponytail'd one there punching him square in the jaw and crashing into the table over there. Obviously she was holding back, and Rick was able to apply some last minute 'reinforcement' magic so he wasn't hurt too badly but well, I really don't want to think of what would've happened if she'd been serious..."
Mister Barrie couldn't help but let out another long and tired sigh. "...Okay, so what exactly did this moron say-"
"Fuck off! I'm no idiot you old hack of a cook!"
"-to piss them off. And you shut the fuck up before I punch you next!"
Enterprise, partly owing to her photographic memory and own desire to see this mean jerk dealt with as soon as possible, was the one who decided to answer.
"...Um, his exact words were, and I quote, 'How, how did a boring ass, plain looking nobody guy like you get to be a Commander to all these hotties?'"
Hearing what Enterprise repeated, Mister Barrie couldn't help but groan as he facepalmed in total annoyance. "Sweet Holy Iris! No wonder she punched you in the face..."
"What the hell! All I did was ask a question! It's not my fault they flipped out over it!"
"I keep telling you this, but you still don't get it! It's not always 'what' you say but 'how' you say it! ... *sigh* Okay, fine," Mister Barrie then turned to face the still fuming Jean Bart. "I know the idiot here was being more than a little rude and thoughtless with his words, but could you please let this one go? I mean, I don't blame you, but I really can't afford to have the place wrecked because of him. I won't ask any more of you since this was on us for not reigning him in or warning you ahead of time, but could you please try to calm down some?" Mister Barrie knew he was pushing his luck asking a shipgirl to let a slight against her Commander go, especially since he saw them produce their riggings and knew she could've done much more damage if she wanted. Still, he knew he couldn't just ask that and 'not' do something about the root cause of the problem either. "And Jack?"
"...Y, yeah?"
"Could you take him home? I think Rick's done more than enough damage for tonight, yeah?"
Jack just quickly nodded and nervously went over to try and get his still fuming, but slowly sobering up friend.
"Come on Rick, let's just go already..."
But, before Rick could say or do anything else, Liam called out to them.
"...Hey, wait a sec...!"
All eyes were now on Liam, causing him to gulp back a bit of his nervousness before looking the curious Rick in the eye.
"...Yeah? What?"
"Your question. I never got the chance to answer it. I um, know that now might not be the best time and all, but do you still want to hear it?"
"...And why would you still want to?" Rick asked, not understanding what Liam was playing at.
"To be honest? I kinda just wanted to get it all off my chest since I've been wondering about how things turned out like this. If nothing else, I get you really didn't mean to come off like a dick and really were just curious."
"Commander?" Jean Bart, and the others too really, couldn't understand why he wasn't just as angry as them over being insulted like that.
Liam smiled. "It's fine. I just want to set the record straight now so that nothing like this happens again, not that I'm blaming you or anything... if anything, seeing you girls get so mad on my behalf really made me pretty happy, not gonna lie." Liam then turned back to Rick. "So? Still want me to answer your question?"
Rick just grunted and shrugged, his mood much better now that the booze and anger finally started to wane. "...Yeah, sure. So? what's your story?"
And so, everyone left in the tavern quietly listened as Liam began to summarize the events that led to him becoming a Commander, starting with what he was doing and the state of mind he was in about six months before his escape from the Eagle Union mainland and just glad he could just... talk about it.
...
'Besides..,' Liam figured the girls should know just what sort of person he was before all this craziness started. Incidentally, he'd completely forgotten that the watch he was wearing was linked to the Liberty so Metis and the others had been listening in on everything since he and the others stepped off the ship.
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