I do not profit nor do I own Twilight. All rights belong to it's author Stephanie Meyer.
I'm an idiot! I forgot that Easter weekend isn't until the last weekend of March, and unfortunately I didn't realize it until Sunday night! I hope you don't mind that this is late, I honestly wasn't going to post until April, but due to my own idiocy I'm going to push this one out early. I do have to Apologize as these next few chapters are dedicated to Mare and her backstory, if this does not interest you, have no fears your regularly scheduled Twilight program will be back soon. I'm not lying when I say April is going to be Mare's month, your going to learn a lot about her in these next few chapters and I hope you like it...I'm not going to lie, I'm very nervous as these chapters are really my own writing and my own thoughts, so you'll get a peek at what my own writing is like. Lastly if you find similarities in this story, I absolutely stole the Astor's family history. Anyway please enjoy and have a great rest of your month!
TRIGGER WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTION OF NON-CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ASSAULT AND ADULT THEMES! IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED IN ANYWAY PLEASE DO NOT READ FURTHER BEYOND THIS POINT! THERE WILL BE OTHER CHAPTERS THAT ARE SAFE, SO PLEASE SKIP AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
Reviews:
Guest- First, Thank you, I truly never want to do that again, and the scares left on my fingers are a good reminder lol, and second, thank you so much my friend! Thank you for your kind words and for reading and reviewing, It really makes my day!
AliceCullen3-THANK YOU!
QueenSherica14- I'm all recovered and now just trying to find something to get rid of the scars lol, shea butter and bio oil-good, Nivea-bad! Thank you so much for your kind words and alleviating my anxiety about the cliff hanger and my updates! You truly are the kindest person and I appreciate your words reviews SOOO Much! Please have a great day and be safe, I'll see you next month my friend!
WickedlyMinx-I don't truly know how to describe it, I don't want to say limbo as much as I want to say a conscious made up on her own. Think the Wizard of Oz, could be a dream but it felt like it really happened and according to the sequel it really did. That's the best way I can describe it. I'm sorry if it was confusing, I'm really just trying my best lol! Thank you for the review and have an amazing holiday!
Agabriellafiueiredo- I'M BACK! and I'm back again lol, can't get rid of me yet! I'm soooo so so Happy that you're happy with the last chapter! It made me smile to read that! No fear I'm not giving up yet, I have at least five chapters ready to be uploaded come next month so theres a lot more content to come! I REALLY, REALLY hope you like this chapter and it helps answer some question or curiosities revolving around Mare's mother, as I said up top, these next few chapters are really going to revolve around Mare's Pre-Twilight life! Thank you for your amazing words and for leaving another kind review! It truly makes my day and I always smile when I see your name pop up!
xoxoxo8123-Hello friend! Thank you for your nice words, my hands are feeling 100% better, and that's an experience I never want to repeat and have some lovely scars now to remind me lol. Theirs really no answers on whats up with Mare in this chapter and it is a little different, but were getting into some heavy nitty gritty stuff here and I really hope you enjoy it! Have a lovely week and I'll see you in April!
Boxessssss-HELLO! OMG it was sooo painful! I like to think my pain tolerence is high but even I was brought to my knees and the burning pain, but all is good now and I've healed up real nice. Now I just have to get rid of these ugly scars lol! I promise you, interesting things are coming and I can't wait for you to read them, for right now though I find it really really necessary that we learn about Mare and her mother pre-Twilgiht! So I hope you like this, it is a little different, but I had a great time writing it and the words just seemed to flow, if you don't like it I'm sorry and promise the court case and the Twilight worlds is coming back, just please hold on! Anyway, thank you for your kind words about both my hands and my last chapter. I always get so happy to see your name pop up and hope you have an amazing week! P.S don't worry about your word choice lol, it was ver appropriate for both my hands and the chapter!
Books-n-Harleys-Hello new friend! Your words were much to kind and I can't thank you enough! You're very correct about Mare and I hope this chapter involving the start of her life is enjoyable to read and may answers some thoughts and questions about her past! Your words really moved me and I found myself reading them over and over and must thank you for writing them! I really, really appreciate it and can't thank you enough! I will for sure come back in April, writing has been fun for me this week and I've got quite alot of content for you and hope you stick around to read it. Again thank you for your review, it made me smile and truly want to write, and for that I can't thank you enough, thank you for being sweet and amazing and just for being you! Please have an amazing week and I'll see you soon!
AlexisHard- Thank you! I love you!
Gretchenia- HELLO! How are you my friend! I never have any issue with your reviews being all over the place, but let me say I'm really happy that you left a review for the last chapter! I thought of you when I wrote it and was really hoping not to break your heart over it! Please, Please let me hear your theories bestie! I'm dying to know what you're thinking especially because these next few chapters are pre-twilight chapters, so believe me my friend we have time lol! Please now that you could never annoy me, I love you and smile every time I see your name pop up! My hands are much better so I've been typing up a storm and can't wait to get more content out for you! As always I have to thank you for your sweet and AMAZING words they always make me cry and feel so happy and for that I can't thank you enough! Please have a great day and a happy Easter, as always I'm sending all my Love and good vibes! Be safe and be happy my friend!
The Unblessed Life of Sarah Callahan
Sarah Callahan is a blessed child, born into the Callahan family. The Callahans come from old money. If you ask John Micheal Archibald Callahan IV, he will tell you it's all thanks to an ancestor who decided to purchase furs from the Native Americans and then turned around and sold them to the rich crowd in Upper New York. Once he made enough, he built a mansion to live in with his wife and children. Rumor has it he hated his children but loved his wife and when she died he moved, the thought of living in such a large house without her was unbearable, so he moved uptown, but never one to miss out on an opportunity to make money, he turned his mansion into one of New York's first hotels. At two bucks a night, only the rich could stay. This only increased his wealth and for years this is how the Callahans made money. However soon the Plaza and Hilton became too much competition and the hotels closed, however, the land was sold for an impressive sum that guaranteed the Callahan's descendants wouldn't have to work if they chose not to. The Callahan legacy doesn't end there, because in the 1870's a few of the Callahans moved to London after a few of their daughters married titled men. American princesses they were called, because many of England's young men had nothing to their name but titles. Dukes and Lords, whose castles were in desperate need of financial fix-ups. However, due to many different issues, there were none, so they turned to America with its bustling metropolis and rich economy, many women were willing to sell off their daughters for a chance at being called duchess, and the Callahans were no different.
With the family split the money only grew, as families married into more money and more opportunities came alone. Sarah was born to the American side of the Callahan family a long-awaited daughter to her father and mother. Her father was a Callahan her mother was a great, great grand-niece of Jackie Kennedy. Their wedding was large. It took place in Paris and cost a whopping 4.5 million, but the bride's family was more than happy to pay.
A debutant, Elizabeth Alexandra McKean grew up with a silver spoon, she wanted for nothing and never knew of hardship. She had the nicest clothes, all designer, and went to the best schools although if you ask her she'll say her biggest achievement was attending the wedding of future princess Diana Spencer and Crown Prince Charles Windsor. She and Diana were both presented to Queen Elizabeth at the prestigious Queen Charlotte's Ball in 1979 and the girls took to writing each other often. She was honored to receive an invitation and attended with the hopes of catching one of the other Prince's eyes. She was hoping for Andrew, he was more handsome in her opinion, and next in line, in case Diana and Charles didn't have children but Edward would suit just fine too. Unfortunately neither looked in her direction, but someone else did. John Callahan who was attending the wedding with the English side of the family couldn't stop staring at the the beautiful Elizabeth. With her long blonde hair and deep blue eyes, she was beautiful. Later he introduced himself and after hearing his name, she was hooked and within six months she was inviting Diana to her own wedding. The princess had to decline, of course, Elizabeth and John's wedding happens to take place the same day the prince was born.
Their life together was perfect, they had it all love and money and the whole floor at 432 Park, who could ask for more it was only 10 months after the wedding the Callahans had their first child. A son named Marcel. Both Elizabeth and John agreed there was no need to have a John Michael Archibald Callahan V. The birth made the news and all the papers were talking about it, Marcel was a handsome baby and both parents decided one was enough, Elizabeth found pregnancy a grotesques part of motherhood and vowed never to do it again, however, it was one a year later the pair found themselves with child again. John was thrilled, he wanted more but Elizabeth was not. How could she go through this again and more importantly how could she love another baby as much as Marcel, her perfect blue-eyed child? She couldn't and nine months later she felt the same.
Sarah Elizabeth Callahan was loved, she never doubted that. Her father was a man who displayed affection and showered her with hugs and kisses, but her mother... Her mother was distant, her mother was stiff, it was clear her mother had a favorite and it wasn't Sarah, but Sarah had her father and he was more than happy to give Sarah enough love for both parents. Sarah was a smart child, she loved to learn and was very talented when it came to the arts. Watercolor was her favorite and her father was more than happy to not only buy her any art supplies she needed but also to take her on lavish vacations, most of them to a destination with an impressive art museum. By the time she was 14, she had been to the Louvre in Paris, the Vatican Museums in Rome, the British Museum in London, the State Hermitage Museum in Saint Petersburg, the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, and the Royal Castle in Warsaw, not to mention her father would take her to the Metropolitan Museum of Art on most weekends. She loved Art, it was her thing and she was determined to make a career out of it someday, and even if she couldn't she was a Callahan she could do whatever she wanted with art.
Sarah although not close with her mother, had a wonderful relationship with her brother. He was kind and sweet, not as smart as Sarah but he could hold his own. The two shared many things including secrets, Sarah shared with him her fear of their mother and Marcel shared his fear of never living up to his father's expectations. Although the Callahans had money to burn, John wanted more and used his money to attend the best law school in the states, it took years but not only was the name Callahan connected to old money but it was now also connected to one of the best Patent law agencies in the country. As Marcel grew his father's expectations did as well. His son wasn't allowed to just inherit money, he needed to make it before he could just get it, and while Marcel was okay with this he was also afraid of what his father would push on him. The two kept these secrets between them, a secret club only for them and not their parents.
Marcel grew handsome, the little blonde-haired blue-eyed boy grew into his features becoming tall and lean, and Sarah grew beautiful. Same blonde hair and blue eyes as her brother. When she was 17 she applied and was accepted into New York University. Her brother had been a freshman when she was accepted and couldn't wait to attend the following year in the fall. Brother and sister celebrated with a night in the city, staying at the Plaza and toasting champagne to their ancestor in his rival hotel. They both thought it was funny at the time. Life was good. Sarah's mother had warmed to her since Marcel left for school and her father was ever devoted by her. However, Life can't stay amazing all the time, and only a month after their New York trip tragedy hit.
Marcel who begged his father to allow him to go on a spring break trip with his friends to the Hamptons never returned. It was a boating accident the authorities called it. All involved were heavily intoxicated and were in no condition to have a speed boat out in the water. None of the boys knew where they were going it only took a sand barge to catapult half the drunken boys into the water. All were fine expect for Marcel. As dark as it was no one could see where he was and after hours of calling for him one boy finally sobered up enough to call 911. The police searched for the rest of the night and in the morning the family was called. They came out immediately to join the search, but two days later the lifeless body of Marcel was found, drowning the corner said. John paid for a second and third opinion and each said the same thing. No head trauma, no drugs, no foul play, but high intoxication levels and water in the lungs. It appears as if he fell into the water and just sunk.
This made the news, the Callahans were devastated, no one more than Elizabeth. Her only son, the one child she planned was gone and she didn't get to say goodbye. She fell into a depression. One her husband couldn't get her out of. Even as her daughter celebrated her 18th birthday, as she graduated and then left for the same university Marcel attended, she couldn't care less.
Sarah however in the debts of her own grief thrived at college. She did well in her classes, she made friends, and she laid out a 10-year plan. She was going to graduate college, travel for five years where she would establish a career in art dealings while she kept up with her own art on the side, and by the end of those 10 years, she would like to get married. No children though. There was no room for them, she had too many plans, and too many things to do, not only that, but her own mother didn't act like one. How could she be a mother when she didn't really have one as an example, nope. She didn't want them, that was for damn sure.
Sarah developed a routine at college. She was a very habitual person, She woke up at the same time every day (7) she ate the same lunch every day (Caesar salad and salmon) at the same table, she got to all her classes 5 minutes early every day so she could lay out her stuff and update her planner, and she studied at the library every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. The weekends were when she allowed herself a bit of freedom, parties, frats, sororities, and brunch with friends. It was because she was so routine with her schedule that ruined her life.
Second semester had just started. It was Monday and Sarah was studying in the library for a political science test. This was her personal least favorite class and therefore she had to study the hardest for it. When her alarm beeped 9 she did as she always did on Mondays, she packed up and started the four-block walk home. She took the same route every time on time. She liked this routine, passing the same buildings and alleys. The lights above her illuminating the stone all the way back to her dorms. In a silly way, it brought her peace and this particular night the moon was full giving her even more light. She felt peaceful, she felt happy, she felt calm...all of that was ripped away.
She didn't hear the man behind her nor did she sense any danger until it was too late. An arm around her neck immediately cutting off her air forced her back, another arm reaching around her midsection to pull her into one of the nearby alleyways she was so used to walking past. She didn't have time to think as her skirt was hiked up without her consent and her brain completely shut down during the whole ordeal. She vaguely remembers fighting for the first few minutes and then it's like her body stopped working. She couldn't move, all she could do was cry and when it was over, the man ran, leaving her in an alley, shirt ripped and underwear nowhere to be seen. She doesn't know how long she laid there only that at some point she stood on shaking legs, her thighs soar and something dripping down her legs. She gets back to her dorm where her roommate Julie has hung a sock on the door. She doesn't care, she barges in while their under the covers. Julie who would normally be mad can tell something is wrong with her roommate right away. She's quick to dress and take care of the crying girl. She recognizes the rumple of her clothes and the blood flowing down her legs. She takes the girl to the medical center on campus to be looked at and report what happened, but universities don't like this kind of stuff. They promise to investigate it and they give the girl a pad an aspirin and sends her back.
Julie wants to take her to a hospital with real nurses and law enforcement but Sarah's having none of it. She wants to forget, she wants to move on, and more importantly, she doesn't want anyone to know, most of all her parents, so she does nothing. She throws herself into school, but she stops walking alone at night, she stops going to the library, and she stops hanging out with her friends. All she wants to do now is graduate and that's three years away, she can do this, she can move on...but she can't.
A month after the mistake...that's what she's grown to call it "A mistake." She woke up sick, she barely made it to the trashcan before she threw up. This became a regular occurrence, wake up, throw up, go to class, eat everything she could get her hands on in the cafeteria, attend her afternoon classes, stop at the local pizzeria, get a supreme pizza with extra pineapple, go to her dorm, stuff her face, study, go to bed repeat. In a month she's put on 20 pounds and even she's not stupid enough to deny what's going on. She takes a breath on week 11 and takes a test, it's positive, so she takes 12 more. A week later she goes to her parents. She sits them both down and says the word she's been afraid of, ever since this happened,
"I'm pregnant."
And then she says four words that will break her mother's heart and cause a riff in their relationship forever,
"I want an abortion."
"Absolutely not."Her mother yells,"You wanna act like a slut and make stupid mistakes, you have to live with the stupid mistakes."
Sarah doesn't cry, she half expected this. The only reason she told her parents is because she needs the money. She could have just charged the money to the platinum card her father gave her, but she knows the family accountant checks the bills every month, and if her mother is caught off guard with this she knows she'll be cut off. She holds herself together until she looks at her father, he doesn't look at her. In fact, he goes above and beyond, by refusing to look at his daughter,
"Daddy?"
He gets up and leaves, she's left alone.
…
Elizabeth Callahan does in fact not allow her daughter to terminate, even when Sarah breaks down crying and hyperventilating as she recounts what happened the night this pregnancy occurred. Sarah just shakes her head and tells her daughter she should have been more careful, she shouldn't have walked alone, she shouldn't have worn a skirt and she really shouldn't have just let it happen. Even when Sarah tries to go into further detail, her mother won't have it. She threatens to not only cut her off but also pull the money she already paid for this second semester. Sarah has no choice, if she doesn't want to be homeless and hungry, she has to carry this baby.
Elizabeth attends every appointment with Sarah, even when her daughter asks her not to. Sarah's having none of it. The baby is healthy, strong heartbeat, and growing at a perfect rate, Sarah hates this. She hates this thing inside of her, she hates that the man who ruined her life that night is still ruining her life, and every week that passes it's not only her belly that grows, but also her anger. Her mother has forced her to move back home, she's still close enough to go to school, but now her mother's driver takes her there and back, and she has no freedom. Eventually, she can't hide the pregnancy anymore and everyone notices, there are whispers but of course there are, she is a pregnant freshman! Course they think she's one of those girls. Gets a little bit of freedom and goes wild, forgets how condoms work and now has to suffer the consequences, but they're wrong. Sarah had a plan, Sarah had a future, and more importantly, Sarah was a virgin. Not anymore, now she just hates herself.
…
It's 2 in the morning when the first pain hits, it's uncomfortable, but Sarah isn't supposed to go into labor for another week. Brandon Hicks, her OBGYN told her,
"It happens to a lot of first-time mothers, especially young ones, it is completely normal."
"I didn't have any,"Elizabeth says to Sarah's right, "My son Marcel just shot right out."
Sarah rolls her eyes. These last 7 months it's been Marcel this and Marcel that, he was the perfect pregnancy, the perfect baby, the perfect everything. Sarah's the screwup that was raped and then forced to live with it for the rest of her life in terms of an unwanted baby. This pregnancy has been hell for her, morning sickness, heartburn, weird cravings, brain fog, and this stupid fetus even broke one of her ribs when it kicked too hard, she wants it out.
At one appointment the nurse asks if she wants to know the sex,
"No, we're keeping it a surprise, I did that with both of mine,"Elizabeth answers for her. Honestly, her mother is kinda right, she doesn't want to know the sex...knowing makes it even more real.
The pains starts again, it feels like her regular period cramps only more intense, she groans and gets to her feet only to suddenly wet herself. How could she have wet herself, but it smells different...was this her water? Her back aches and she finds it harder these days to catch her breath. She wants to cry...she doesn't want to give birth, she doesn't want it at all. She stumbles her way to her parent's room and pounds on the door, her mother keeps her door locked, has since she was little. She pounds until her father answers, his hair a mess and eyes full of sleep. He hasn't said anything to her these last 7 months, whether because he's chosen to or because her mother told him not to, but at the sight of his heavily pregnant daughter his eyes soften. Another pain hits and Sarah reaches forward grabbing his arm, tears already prickling her eyes,
"It hurts Daddy," He grabs her arms,
"Sarah?"
"I can't do this, please talk to me, please Daddy, I'm scared." Suddenly theirs another voice and another set of hands grabbing her arms,
"I know these pains, John. It's time." Elizabeth grabs Sarah pulling her away from her father and gently walking Sarah back to her room. "Let's get you're bag, alright?" This is the gentlest her mothers talked to her...ever,
"I'm scared."
"No, you're not, you're a Callahan, you go into the unknown with a brave face."
They make it to the hospital an hour later, the cramps a bit more intense and her back pain worse. Her due date isn't for two more weeks but after settling her in, it's clear she's gone into labour. Her mother of course doesn't leave, and to her surprise, neither does her father. They stay in the room, encouraging her the whole time. This is the kindest her parents have been to her together in a long, long time. She cries, she panics and after a few hours, the doctor has bad news. The baby won't turn, and vaginal birth is now out of the question, she needs a C-section. Not only was she raped, and forced to carry a baby, but now she'll be scared for the rest of her life, she cries harder.
She's allowed one person in the room with her, at first she tells the nurse she wants no one, but Elizabeth Callahan will not be told no, and soon both are prepped and ready and being taken to the theater. Sarah asks for as much medication as possible, medication for pain, medication for numbing, if it were up to her they would just knock her out, but she's slightly aware as she feels the pressure of the doctor cutting into her stomach. She lays there as everyone makes jokes and laughs and sings happy birthday, really she lays there dissociating until a cry calls out... a baby cry. It's here, it's really here. Her mother laughs and cries,
"What is it, what is it?"Elizabeth laughs out,
"Happy Birthday little one."The doctor says,"It's a beautiful healthy little girl."
"A girl!"Elizabeth wipes her eyes, "Sarah it's a girl."Sarah could care less.
Elizabeth is allowed to take the baby to meet her grandfather with a nurse as they finish with Sarah. Another nurse asks her if she is happy, she just looks over
"I'm tired"She mumbles,
"Almost done love, we'll take you back to your room and you can get some rest."
The Nurse is Sarah's new favorite person because as soon as she's sewn back together, she gets her situated in her private room her parents paid extra for and gives her another shot of some beautiful cocktail that takes away all the pain and sends her into a beautiful sleep, she hasn't even seen her baby yet...she doesn't want too.
…
When Sarah wakes the sun is high in the sky and things are quiet. She looks over to the couch finding her mother dressed in her normal point pants, cashmere sweater, channel flats, and matching stud earrings. She's holding a pink blanket...no she's holding a baby in a pink blanket. She looks up when the bed ruffles and smiles...it's a real smile.
"You're awake," Elizabeth observes, Sarah nods,
"You're still here?"
"Well I went home to get myself proper, I have to show Marceline how to dress?"Sarah's confused, she lifts her head and squints her eyes... There is no one else but them and the baby in the room.
"What?"Elizabeth gets to her feet and walks over to her daughter. Just then it hits Sarah,"You named her?"Elizabeth stops at the bed and smiles down at the bundle,
"You were asleep, and this little girl needed a name."Sarah feels tears in her eyes,
"You named my baby?"
"You didn't want this baby, what makes you think you should get to name her."Sarah swallows, she feels numb,
"I carried it."
"That's just my point right there Sarah, she's not an it, she's a girl and her name is Marceline Ann Callahan, Marceline for the uncle she'll never get to meet, Ann for my mother and Callahan to carry the family legacy, she's absolutely perfect."The tears in Sarah's eyes fall.
"I should have named her, not you! Marceline is a terrible name, why would you name her after Marcel?! So we could hear the similarities in their names and be reminded of him over and over."
"You're hysterical Sarah, when you calm down you can hold her, but until then sit here and throw a fit."
And just like that, Sarah's young adult life is over even before it started, she's 19 with a baby she didn't want, didn't get to name...she wishes she was dead.