"Subaru. Sir? Its past noon. Weren't you planning on heading to the market today to pick up ingredients?"

". . . ."

"Hey! Subaru? Wake up! If you don't get up now you won't have time to buy everything we need for tonight!"

Lilia headed over to Subaru's bed and forcefully removed his blanket.

"Wha. ."

She found Subaru in what could only be described as a seizure. His body was shaking so aggressively the bed itself looked like it could bust a hole through the floor. He had a tight grip on the sheets, pulling on them so hard that they began to tear. What was going on? Subaru was beginning to look unresponsive.

"Subaru! Hey! Subaru! Get a grip!"

It was no use. No matter what she did, he was still shaking out of control. She needed to do something. In desperation, she quickly grabbed a bucket of water and splashed it across his face. He seemed unfazed. This was bad. He might be dying. If Subaru ended up dying in Reinhard's mansion, he'd never forgive himself!

"Subaru, here, grab my hand. Please let go of the bed!"

Lilia managed to grip Subaru's hand and pull him into a clutch. Hopefully he would tire himself out and come to his senses. This was the only thing left she could do. If she knew healing magic perhaps she would've been able to do more, but for right now, she was useless in situations like this.

"Hrgh,hrr?Ghreahh. ."

'It's a miracle! He's starting to calm down.'

Lilia couldn't believe it worked. She was beginning to believe she'd have to inform Reinhard that Natsuki Subaru had died for the second time. Luckily for her, it didn't have to come to that. He fell unconscious after a few minutes of gripping onto Lilia for dear life. While she was glad Subaru wasn't dead, she was scared half to death during that whole ordeal! What the hell happened? Did Subaru have some kind of medical condition? Was he poisoned? She would be stuck guessing until Subaru woke up.

"Hello?"

'Speak of the devil!'

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Lilia heard Subaru's voice through the wall and immediately climbed the stairs up to his room.

"Subaru? Are you ok?! When I found you earlier you looked like you were having a seizure. I really thought you were dying!"

When she entered his room, she saw Subaru's face tighten.

"Lilia. . .I saw something terrible."

Before she could ask what he was talking about, he started to weep all over the covers.

"Subaru. . .Please. What happened?"

He couldn't take it anymore. This was terrible. Maybe if he just came clean everything would work out somehow. . .

"Lilia, I can't explain how or why, but I've die. . ."

Everything froze. Before he could finish his sentence, Subaru felt a chill running down his spine.

'What the hell?'

A shadow began to envelop everything around them. Before he knew it, he could no longer see Lilia or any of his surroundings. All he could see was the dark hand extending right towards him. Completely powerless to defy the shadow, to his horror, it entered into Subaru's chest and gripped itself around his heart.

"GHRH"

"Subaru?!"

Subaru leaned forward in pain. He had been wondering about this for a while too. Wasn't there enough circumstantial evidence surrounding his crazy feats to potentially believe a story like his? Everyone he knew also seemed to know how weak he was. Why didn't the past Subaru say anything about this ability?

'Now I get it. For some reason I can't tell anyone about this power.'

He wanted to scream. He was completely alone and there was nothing he could do to avoid dying.

'I honestly want to try telling her again, but I can't bring my lips to move. Man, I really am a coward huh? I'm terrified. Compared to dying again, I'd have nothing to lose by trying to tell her again.'

"Subaru, what is happening? This is the second time you almost died today! Please, just tell me so I can get help!"

'Hahahaha, I'm in hell.'

"I'm sorry for scaring you Lilia. I think I just had a nightmare."

"Subaru, what kind of nightmare gives you seizures and heart attacks?! Just tell me the truth. Do you have some kind of disease?"

'I guess you could call it that.'

"No, I just relived a very bad memory. Please give me a minute to myself if that's ok."

". . .Fine. Please don't hesitate to call me if you need help though."

Lilia left Subaru's room. Once she was out of view, Subaru went into his closet and closed it behind him.

'That assassin. He's watching us right now isn't he? I need to get out of here. Now. If I just get away everything should turn out fine. I was apparently his target, so if I'm gone, he'll just have to try again later. He may follow me, but I shouldn't know that an attack is being planned for tonight. Its more plausible to assume he'll wait here for me to return from my shopping trip.'

Subaru calmed himself down. This situation wasn't as hopeless as he made it seem. He still had a chance to escape this nightmare with everyone surviving. All he'd need to do is what he planned on doing last loop. Run away. Then tomorrow he could call Reinhard, he'd come back, and then everything would turn out perfectly. Subaru would kill that bastard for what he did. He never felt such hatred for another person in his entire life.

"Thanks, I'll get back as soon as I can!"

Subaru said his goodbye to Lilia before he headed out on his shopping trip.

It took him nearly twenty minutes to convince her that he was up to the task. Eventually she let him go after he told her how much he wanted to surprise Reinhard. Just as Reinhard had a soft spot for Felt, so too did Lilia have one for Reinhard. He always thought of himself as trash, something Subaru could deeply relate with, and this caused Lilia to try and make him smile as often as possible. Recently, he'd been smiling a lot more because of Subaru. A gift from Subaru would make him genuinely smile, so against her better judgement, she let him leave.

"You'd better! I expect to see you here before dark."

Lilia called after him.

'What am I thinking? Letting him go out after what happened this morning, I'm being pretty selfish.'

'Ok, first things first. I need to make sure I'm not being trailed.'

There was a chance that the assassin decided to follow Subaru on these past three loops. Even if it may be unlikely, Subaru couldn't risk dying to that psycho again.

Subaru headed past a large crowd of people and entered into a small clothing shop on the side of the main street. There happened to be a decent amount of people in there, all demi-human, so even if he had been followed in, the assassin wouldn't dare make a move on him.

"Hey, you new here?"

The shopkeep called out to Subaru and beckoned him to his desk.

"Yeah, I've never been here before. Any recommendations for some cheap clothes to buy? Preferably ones that obscure my face?"

The shopkeep paused for a minute and pointed to the back corner of the shop.

"I see. You probably don't know this, but this shop is usually only met with demi-human customers. Its rare that a full human decides to come in here. As thanks for looking past your biases, I can give you some of those clothes in the back significantly marked off!"

"Wow. Thank you sir! You don't realize how much of a help this is. I don't think I would've been able to go back out on the street looking the way I do right now.

"If you are having serious troubles, I recommend talking to that guy in the back as well, he might be able to help you."

The shopkeep moved his finger to the other side of the shop and stopped on an interesting looking demi-human. He seemed to be a dog of some sort. . ? Subaru headed over in that direction and quickly grabbed a bundle of clothes off the shelf.

'Perfect! These look as plain as they come! If I leave the shop wearing this, I have a pretty good chance to lose anyone tailing me.'

Subaru covered his face with a piece of cloth before heading to talk to the man on the other side of the shop.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, but the shopkeep told me to talk to you about something."

"Your name?"

He didn't even glance in Subaru's direction. He was too busy smoking his pipe to notice Subaru's clear anxiety.

"Huh?"

"Your name? I don't do business with anyone unless I know who they are."

"Oh, it's Subaru."

"Subaru? Like the hero?"

He seemed interested now. Whoever this was, he clearly knew something about the old Natsuki Subaru. Other than wanting to keep his existence a secret, Subaru also didn't want to risk dredging up some grudge with this guy.

"Oh, no different guy. Same name though."

'I don't know why the shopkeep recommended I talk with this guy. Maybe he can help me get out of the capital?'

"Really? Ok Su-san. Beat it."

'What? Is this guy just going to turn me away for nothing?'

"You won't h. . ."

"No."

Subaru was angry, but he knew there was nothing else to be done here. If this guy didn't want to help him, fine. The longer he spent in this shop, the more he raised suspicions anyway.

Subaru stormed out of the shop before he could hear another word from the demi-human dog.

"I won't work with liars."

As Subaru continued down the main road, he realized a critical flaw in his plan. He might have shaken all potential pursuers, but he still didn't have a place to stay or any plan on where to go. What was he supposed to do? He was so caught up in his paranoia that he overlooked the most important step.

"Hey kid, glad to see you again! Want to buy some appas?"

'Huh. Wait a minute. . .maybe I can ask him for help?'

"Hi Kadomon! Um. . .this is going to seem weird, but can you hear me out?"

Kadomon looked at him relatively unfazed.

"Isn't everything you say around me kind of weird? Hahaha"

Subaru leaned in and whispered to him.

"I think I was being followed. If I return to my home, I'd be walking into a dangerous situation. Do you know a place I can stay for the night?"

He paused. Subaru had never asked him for anything like this before. He just met him randomly in the capital one day and Subaru kept coming back. Of course, it did wonders for his business when he told everyone the 'hero of Priestella' was a regular customer. But this? Surely Subaru had a ton of other people he'd ask first.

"You were being followed? Couldn't you take something like this to the Royal Knights?"

"No. I couldn't risk it. If I headed in that direction, they probably would've attacked me before I got there."

It seems Subaru was at the end of his rope. While he and Subaru were becoming friends, this was a pretty crazy request to get out of nowhere.

"I can take you in for the night."

There was no other choice. Besides, a chance to save the 'Hero of Priestella' from danger? Now wouldn't this make for a great story to tell his kids! After all the traffic Subaru helped bring to his shop, he couldn't abandon him during his time of need.

"I expect you to come here a lot more often after this is over!"

Kadomon smiled.

"You can count on it."

Subaru felt genuinely relieved. He had a place to stay, a moment to rest, and a plan of action for once he returns tomorrow. Lilia would probably kill him for staying out so late, especially after the promise he made before leaving. He wasn't looking forward to that. It doesn't matter. As long as he can come back tomorrow and see everyone ok, that's enough for him.

Kadomon closed up shop immediately after Subaru's plea. On the off-chance Subaru had some kind of pursuer, it'd be smart to leave before they caught on to his ploy.

"I have a place you can stay, just don't expect five-star service, ok kid?"

"Thank you. Trust me, anything will do. I just need somewhere to stay for the night."

As they headed back, Subaru and Kadomon started discussing the story they'd present to his wife and kid once they reached his house. Subaru was just some really sick kid Kadomon found on the side of the road. Out of the kindness of his heart, Kadomon decided to bring him back to his home and give him a place to sleep.

"Sir, I don't want to make you reconsider your offer, but there is a chance whoever comes after me could end up hurting you guys. Are you sure you're ok with this?"

Kadomon stopped for a moment.

"Subaru, you are a good kid. I'm glad you wanted to warn me before we got back to my home. However, I've already agreed to help you. Bringing up stuff like that will only make me more nervous. I don't think my wife is home yet. If I tell her to go stay somewhere else for the night would that be enough to keep her and my kid safe?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Then its settled. I'll tell her when she gets home. The story just changed. Now, whatever you are sick with is really contagious. Understand?"

"Understood."

When Subaru and Kadomon arrived at his house, nobody was home. This was good. Subaru could find somewhere to sleep and Kadomon could catch his family before they entered the house.

'Ok, if I just stay awake, everything should turn out fine. There's no way I got tracked all the way here. Just. . .no chance.'

He didn't like thinking that. Every time he thought he was safe before, he'd been wrong. Would he end up dying again if he fell asleep? That isn't a chance he wanted to take. If he woke up in that mansion again, what would he do? He'd have exhausted every possible option. If he died tonight, there was nothing else he could do. He would just keep dying, and dying, and dying. God, what a hopeless situation.

'There has to be something else I can think about to pass the time. C'mon think! I know that every time I die, I end up returning back to a specified point. I don't know if that point changes. I just know that I will always return there. Apparently, I have already died here before. I can't know why, but I do know that people remember at least one of my deaths. If I had been looping during that time as well, it must not have activated.'

Due to the stress and fatigue Subaru experienced throughout this loop, he was quickly beginning to fall asleep without realizing.

'If there is a way to break the loop, then perhaps waking up in the mansion wouldn't be completely hopeless. I know I shouldn't think that way, but there's really nothing else to. . . . ."

Subaru had fallen asleep.

"Kid! Hey kid! Wake up! It's been long enough. Are you ready to go home yet? My wife is really angry I sprung this whole thing on her without. . ."

'D-did I. . .make it?'

"Hey Kadomon, what day is it?"

Subaru picked himself up and himself blinded by the sun's rays. Wow, what a sight!

"Wednesday, what you need to be somewhere?"

Kadomon looked at Subaru with a raised eyebrow. Yep, he was back to normal. Saying weird stuff whenever it suited him!

"No, it's just. . .I'm glad it's Wednesday."

"And when wouldn't the day after Tuesday be Wednesday?"

Seriously. What was this guy talking about? Subaru owes him big time for this! The entire Iron Fang and Royal Guard better be at his stand tomorrow to pick up bags of appas!

"Man, I must not be making any sense huh? Sorry for the trouble, I'll get out of your hair now."

"Don't sweat it kid, just don't forget to recommend me to your friends ok?"

Subaru didn't notice Kadomon's reply. He was still looking at the sun rise with tears in his eyes. He had never seen a morning so beautiful in his life.

"Thank you. Sooo much."

Subaru began heading back to the manor. Man, was he in for a scolding! Lilia would slap him; the other maids would probably ghost him. He felt bad for all the trouble he put them through yesterday morning. Maybe he really should give them some kind of gift? All the trouble they went through because of his mistakes, they deserve some kind of reward! But, before all that, the first thing he would do is call Reinhard. The assassin could potentially still be watching the manor. There is no way he was going all the way back to that place so he could die again. If Reinhard even caught a whiff of trouble, he'd be back before the night fell. That guy was a freak of nature! Subaru had seen him outrun ground dragons by jogging.

He passed by many familiar sights on his way back to the mansion. Street performers, glowing spirits, small shops, everything seemed alive. Best of all though, was they were all in different places! Some street performers decided to switch up their acts, some shops had moved to better access the day's traffic. To Subaru, it was a breath of fresh air. Three days of seeing the same sights over and over had made him lose his appreciation for the diverse setting he got teleported into.

"Oh, I forgot, while I'm dressed like this, they might not recognize me, I'd better change back into my tracksuit."

"Ah, finally, home sweet home!"

Subaru knocked on the front door and waited for an angry Lilia to come and deck him for lying to her.

Silence.

"No. There's no way."

Subaru opened the front door and entered the manor. Nobody was immediately visible, but this wasn't necessarily grounds for concern. After all, the maids were usually all over the Astrea mansion throughout the day.

'Calm down. They're fine. You were the target.'

Subaru headed to the common room. Reinhard left the metia there in case of emergency, and this was clearly an emergency! He walked up to that door only to find it locked.

'They don't lock the front door, but they lock the door to the common room? No. It can't be. Were they actually. . .?'

Subaru needed that metia. Resorting to force, he kicked the door in. The room was empty.

'I need to call Reinhard.'

Subaru ran over to the drawer with the metia and pulled it out. He flicked it open and waited for someone to answer it at Miload manor.

'This really sucks. Hopefully Reinhard picks up before my cover gets blown.'

With nothing else to do but wait, Subaru began patrolling the mansion looking for the maids. Every room was empty, not a single person to be found. The maids didn't just leave. Subaru knew that. The more rooms he checked, the more the dread began to fill his heart.

'Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!'

"Hello. . .who is this?"

Someone picked up the metia!

"Hi, my name is. .uh. . .Jon. Can you please pass the metia to Reinhard? I need to speak with him."

"Sure. Your voice sound reaaally familiar. Before I pass it, can you turn the lens to your face?"

Who is this? She speaks like someone from 100 years ago!

"Please, I don't have much time, can you just pass the metia?"

He was getting desperate. He had checked every room in the house and found no sign of them. Where were they? Did that bastard really just kill them for no reason?!

"Hello? Lilia is that you?"

It's Reinhard!

"Reinhard, it's me. I think an assassin plans to attack the mansion. Please come back. I'm sorry this is so abrupt, but they are watching me as I speak."

"Stay where you are."

The metia hung up. Reinhard sounded deadly serious. He did it. Reinhard was finally alerted. Everything should be ok now, right?

Subaru circled back to the common room. He had checked everywhere in the manor and hadn't found a single person. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but this was starting to look dire.

Oh. The closet. He forgot to check the closet in the common room. Well, he needed to open it just to make sure. If they weren't anywhere in the mansion, they wouldn't be hiding in there.

'Fuck.'

He was wrong.

'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!'

He was very wrong.

Everything clicked after he opened that closet door.

Why the front door was unlocked and the common room door locked. Why nobody had answered when he called out their names. Why every door in the mansion was open when he patrolled the mansion.

Inside the closet he found the 5 maids, arms around each other, with their throats slit.

The bastard must have chased them around the manor all night. When he finally managed to find them, they tried to lock him out of the common room, but failed. In desperation, they hid in the closet hoping he wouldn't find them.

"Why. WHY! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY! They didn't have to die! THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING."

Subaru yelled out in anguish. He didn't do anything wrong! He just ran, like he always does. That doesn't make this his fault!

'I knew. I knew there was a chance this might happen.'

He tried to push the thought out of his head. It wasn't his fault, it couldn't be. He's not a murderer!

'The moment nobody answered the front door, you knew didn't you?'

"AAGRHHHHHHHHHH"

'You left that mansion and you didn't say a thing. Like lambs to the slaughter.'

"NO! I TRIED. I FAILED. THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO!"

'You left them to die. They didn't have a chance. You're still alive aren't you? I wonder how much harder you tried to make that happen?'

Subaru fell over. This wasn't fair. These people weren't him. Why was he responsible for their lives? Why was he given this terrible power?!

'You could save them.'

"No, I can't. They're dead, They've been dead for hours."

'Hahaha. And when it was you, did that stop you?'

"Damn. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN. NO, I CANT. I WONT DO IT AGAIN. I WONT!"

'Exactly. Not because you can't. You won't.'

He'd lost it. What was he considering? Was he really going to do it all over again? All that fear and suspense, just to die a needless death?

"I've failed."

He accepted his fate.

"I let these people die. I can't do that. Its not right."

'Man, I'm such a failure. I called Reinhard so he could come home to a mansion full of corpses. I should at least write him a note.'

This was his first time ever attempting something like this.

"I wonder, did you ever do this? Hero of Priestella?"

Subaru began scavenging through the mansion until he found a sharp enough knife to get the job done. Then he began writing his note. "The hero 'Natsuki Subaru' would've done this in a heartbeat. This place could sure use a hero. While he's gone, I'm the best you've got, so until he returns, please forgive my mistakes."

"There! All done. Hopefully this letter makes sense to Reinhard if he ever makes it back here."

He put the knife to his throat.

'I'm scared.'

He pushed it through the first layer of skin.

'I really hope this works.'

He quickly jerks his hand to the right.

'It's too late now. I'm going to die.'

His consciousness pulled backwards and outwards. His soul was ripped from his body. His throat sprayed blood. His forehead slammed against the ground. Natsuki Subaru had died.

Author Note

This will be one of the most depressing chapters in the whole story. I might have gone a little too hard on Subaru here, but I hope you all remember the pattern for Re:Zero. The worst loop is always the one before it gets better! Well actually, duh.. that's why it's the worst loop. Nevermind, just look forward to tomorrow's chapter!