Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I make profit off of Twilight, All rights belong to it's author Stephanie Meyer.
TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF NON CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ASSULT, ABUSE , AND ADULT THEMES AND LANGUAGE! IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BT ANY OF THESES TOPICS PLEASE SO NOT READ FURTHER AND IMMEDIATELY EXIT! THERE WILL BE OTHER CHAPTERS THAT ARE SAFE IN THE FUTURE, SO PLEASE SKIP AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
REVIEWS:
Books-n-Harleys- Hello friend! I got your messages and found your socials..I think, lol let me know if I followed the right people! I promise you I'm a huge nerd too, so no worries, I once spent an entire night at the bar with my friends talking to a random man about how marvel could fix the X-men franchise so honestly, I get it. I've never gotten into Lord of the Rings though, but that's only because at this point I'm afraid, because what if I'm the only person in the whole world that doesn't like it, not risking that. I love the description of your tattoos! I'm looking into getting a Batman Tattoo, but as of right now I only have one, so your sleeve sounds AMAZING! Once again, you're incredibly sweet and kind words always do something to me, and I can't thank you enough for building up my self doubt after ever chapter I post, seriously, thank you! I'm sorry you're upbringing allows you to understand Mare's, that's not how it should be and I'm angry about that. When I wrote Mare's story I watched a lot of Law and Order SVU...okay well I already watch a lot of Law and Order SVU, but more than normal, and I took a lot of inspiration because I wanted the abuse to feel real and almost normal, not just physically that leaves the character sad, and reading that even though your an adult it still lingers hurts my heart. I know you're a beautiful and strong individual, and I admire that immensely! As always the way you read and absorb every detail just leaves me in awww and I love that I get to have these little weakly pow-wows with you. I'm not rich, by no means but I've seen the way people who have money and entitlements act in bad situations and it's always to either pretend it didn't happen or just straight up deny it, and women are mostly always the head when it comes to matteres of the home, so I wrote Elizabeth in that exact way, and I can tell you writing the part where John kinda tells her off, was very satisfying, so thank you for letting me talk about it lol. Also thank you for understanding how I write the Cullens in their greif. I didn't want them to be outright crying or screaming, that just didn't feel real and something they would do, I wanted it to be more subtle but meaningful and you understood the ASSIGNMENT! AS always, thank you my dear friend for even reading and more importantly for understanding, the second one is more important than the first and again I bow to you, for it. Your kindness is exceeding and I can never find the words to properly thank you for the joy you give me in every review. Please have the best week and be safe. I'm sending you all my good vibes and love! Coffee
agabriellafigueredo- HEY YOU! Right! It's about time, John did something...I say that as if I didn't right it, sorry! I actually wrote that part with the Cullens in about 10 minutes right before posting because I realized some people might be missing them and I'm SO happy you like it lol, I was quite nervous as I wrote it so quickly lol. I don't really know how this whole real world and twilight world thing is working out in the sense that her body's both in one place and then two, but making her just outright disappear instead of a coma situation, just felt right. Have no fear, while things aren't answered (regarding Alice's vision) in this chapter, it will be answered eventually and things will happen ;) When it comes to Carlisle, I wanted their grief to feel real, and having then just sit around and cry or scream didn't feel real or something they would do, so while I thought about it, I realized, Esme, would kinda just sit in emotions in a place she found comforting or once did. (Mare's room) Rose doesn't like to be too emotional, so she needs to move around (Clean the Kitchen) Alice would for sure try to fix things in a vision. Emmett who in my opinion feel his emotions more than the others would probably need to sit and process everything. Edward our ever moody vampire would need to be the normal sad emo guy we know him to be in the books. (staring out the window) Jasper of course will always be at Alices side, but he's also feeling a little defeated, reminding himself of good times he had with the person (the chess board) and when it came to Carlisle I was like what shows that he himself is grieving, while also trying to hold everyone and everything together...well he loves to work. He's a vampire that needs blood, yet chose a profession where he's surrounded by it, that's because he truly loves it. I believe that work is his stress reliever and something he turly loves. So I took it away, he doesn't want to work, he can't, because he's unfocused and emotional. It makes a lot of sense to me so I hope that makes a little more sense lol. As always have only the best week and be safe. Thank you for reviewing and allowing me to answer and interact with you! I'm sending all my love and thank yous! Coffee
livvixxx- Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! This sight does that to me too and I always fall behind on my favorite fics, so I get it! Well, you're hopes just may or may not come true, I really hope you'll keep reading to find out! Thank you for reading and please have an amazing week! Coffee
Guest- WOW! Thank you sooooo much! You have no idea how much I loved seeing that comment lol! Thank you for the kind words they made me smile and thank you so much for reading! Have an awesome day and be safe! Coffee
AliceCullen3- and I LOVE YOU! Coffee
Boxessssss- Sorry lol, I wont do it again, scouts honor! I'm glad you were able to relax, find rest, and woke up feeling better, I honestly loved reading that! Thank you for the kind words, I always have a hard time finding chapter titles, but that last chapter came easy and it makes me sooooo happy that you noticed it! Unfortunately a lot of words we need to hear come to late and I really wanted to highlight that, and I appreciate you so much for picking up on it, it was one of my favorite things to write honestly. NO critical feedback!? Wow, I was not expecting that! You truly make me a better writer, even if I'm cursing myself at 3 AM reading this story with half lidded eyes scanning for mistakes...that's how so many slip by lol. It's been a very busy and hectic week so I haven't been able to open and review this story as much as I'd like so I can't say your not going to have any this week, sorry! I hate busy week :( I do hope you like this one though, this is the last one before we find out what happens, Forks or New York..maybe Heaven I don't know. As always I LOVE seeing your name pop up and reading your reviews, they always make me smile, please have an amazing week and be safe! Coffee...P.S...I'm not going to lie...I'm going to cast a little fire.
AlexisHard- HELLO my friend! I'm okay, it's been a bit of a busy week and I've caught a cold so I"m tired lol. How are you?! I'm happy you liked the Cullens part, I wrote that in about 10 minutes and then kinda just posted it, so I was really nervous about it, considering I wrote it so fast lol. I usually write these weeks in advance and then review them before I post them, so I'M soooo relieved you enjoyed it! I know it seems a long way away, but Bella is coming! right after our Christmas special (lol)...(wait spoilers) I'm going to speed up the year to bring her in, since I know people are waiting and as for how will Edward act well, don't hold your breath I'm anticipating it's going to be the same as I'm currently getting to those chapters...their taking me a bit longer as I'm also trying to read Midnight Sun as I write them, so they feel as authentic as I can make them. I hope that answers your questions, if not I'll try again next week, lol I promise! Also, do you have a camera in my house, because LITERALLY I do smiles as I read comments. It depends where I'm sitting, but I mostly read these either in my bed, or at work as I always pick up the Sunday shifts and thats when most comments come it, and YES my coworkers think I'm nutz..(Why are you smiling like that? What happened? You look weird? Why you Giddy you freak it's Sunday?") You're right they don't understand us! I love us! As always have only the best week and be safe! Thank you for the amazing words and for always letting me answer your questions, you don't know how happy I am just to sit here read comments and reply, it's the best part of me week. Thank you for your kindness and thank you for just being YOU! Coffee
Gretchenia-OMG I'm so happy that you see Sarah just a little differently, as I've always said, I like Sarah, I like her a lot, and I understand why she's done the things she's done, it doesn't make it right, but it just makes it so we don't see her as completely heartless. I love John too, he loves and he loves hard, which is why he let Elizabeth get away with so much over the years. I really wanted him to be the silent, kind type. I've spent a lot of time kinda analyzing and trying to understand the rich and I find that their really is only a few things they care about..their appearance, their status in the community, and money, and I wrote Elizabeth in that same, manner. Elizabeth has always had money and she knows what it can do, which is why she holds it over Sarah's head, while also just spending it like water. As for Sarah, (fun fact) I took a lot of inspiration for Sarah and Mare's relationship from Queen Victoria. Queen Victoria was known to hate pregnancy and young children. She was known to suffer from postpartum depression and absolutely refused to breast feed or really take care of her own children, leaving them in the hands of nurses and nannies. It wasn't until they were older with their own autonomy that she really realized she loved her children and Sarah's the same. Mare needed to be able to speak and take care of herself for Sarah to realize she loved her. (Sorry, I'm a history nerd) I'm sorry the Lobster part made you made, but I felt like it was one of the most important parts of the story, because that's what really signified to Sarah that she needed to leave, both for Mare and for herself! I love that you love this story, it honestly makes my heart sooooo happy and I always look for your name to pop up because I just know you have the best questions and insights and I always open a blank document and start answering them right away! YOU ARE SO SWEET! Your words are sooo sooo kind and I honestly can't thank you enough and I know I say that every week, but dang they just bring tears to my eyes, like I honestly can't believe someone is saying (typing) these words to me, it honestly leaves me speechless! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Please my friend be kind to yourself and more importantly be safe! I'm sending you all my love and good feelings! Coffee
thisIdo- Welcome back! How was Australia? Not goanna lie, it's Autumn down there and I'm extremly jealous, but good time to visit! I'm relieved you like the back story, it's a little different, but I didn't feel like I could keep going without revealing more about her as a person. I'm such a sucker for the flawed villain troupe and really enjoy incorporating it in all of my writing. I'm so happy your back and send all the good vibes your way, as always thank you for reading and leaving a review, it makes me really, really happy. I appreciate you and hope you have the best week! Coffee
Ooshnish- HI FRIEND! Omg, thank you so much for your sweet words as always they make me melt and smile, and I truly don't deserve them! You ask so many good questions and I can't wait to answer them all, and I promise at some point I will lol. There is only one more Sunday in April and thats the unofficial end of Backstory month..(spoilers) but I can tell you what you think is going to happen in the end, will probably happen. (I can never surprise you lol, so I think you know what going to happen my friend) I really hope you enjoy this chapter, it contains a lot of things mentioned in the past that I know you've picked up on and thought of you specifically when I wrote it. Please have the best week, I'm sending all my love your way and only the very best good vibes for you! Coffee
AzureTheVampire- HELLO my friend! Welcome back, I've missed you and send you a big virtul hug, unless you're not a "hug" person, in that case I'm sending my best nod from across a crowded room. You have very good questions and I so wish I could answer, but alas I cannot, but fear not, because all will be answered soon, I give you my best promise! Thank you for your kind words, as always I don't feel deserving of them, but thank you for giving them too me, it really makes my heart swell and for that I can't find the words to type to thank you. You kindness means the world to me especially as this is such a long week for me lol. I really hope you like this chapter and hope to hear from you again, as always don't feel inclined too, I know you're busy my friend. Again thank you for your sweet words, they mean the world to me! Have a good week and be safe! Sending my good feelings your way! Coffee
Hidden Abuse and Drained Bottles
"Ma'am?" Sarah groans, god she had a headache, "Sarah Callahan?" Sarah opens her eyes finding a good looking man in a police uniform. Quickly she reaches up to wipe her mouth and sit up,
"What's going on?"
"Ma'am, do you have a daughter?" Sarah looks around, she was in her apartment, sleeping on her couch...she glances down to the carpet where an empty bottle of Bacardi lays. She drank too much and passed out on the couch,
"Marceline? She looks around frantically past the cop to the door where another one stands guarding her only exit, "Where's my daughter?"
"It seems she couldn't wake you this morning for school, so she tried to go by herself and got lost, stubbled into a gas station on Fifth and Main-"
"Fifth and Main?!" Sarah exclaims, that was almost a two-hour walk from their apartment.
"Yes ma'am."
"Where is she?" Sarah reaches forward grabbing the officer by his vest. To his credit he doesn't jump, only reaches forward and lightly holds on to her wrists,
"She's safe Ma'am, she's being placed with an emergency temporary placement tonight."
"WHAT!" Sarah looks to their only window in the living room, it's pitch black outside,
"Ma'am it's 9 p.m." Sarah feels the tears in her eyes. How could it be nine O'clock, that's when she started drinking, she had just put Mare to bed, and she didn't have any classes to teach the next day. She sat down to watch TV when Law and Order SVU came on. She knew better, knew not to watch that show, knew what it does to her, but her favorite actor was guest staring and she wanted to catch it...she got five minutes in when flashbacks started and she was running down to the local corner store for whatever they had...and now here she is. She lets go of the cop and practically collapses on the couch,
"Ms. Callahan, are you okay, do you require medical attention?"
"How could this happen?" She whispers biting her thumbnail, "I didn't...I didn't mean for this to happen." The cop frowns, he seems nice and gently bends down picking up her empty rum bottle,
"Social services is on its way right now." He tells her gently, "You're 9-year-old daughter was walking around for hours by herself. When we got to her she had a hard time describing where she lives-"
"We just moved." Sarah cut him off, the cop just nods,
"We had a difficult time locating you and there was no missing children's report. We're lucky we were able to find you but Social Services has to come out to check things out and see if you're fit enough to get her back, I would recommend if you want to see your daughter again, that you clean up and accept responsibility." He holds out the bottle to her and slowly she takes it,
"I want her back." Could her parents have her? No, she was very careful about their records, There's no way they had her, if they had her they'd spend all the money in the world to make sure Sarah never got her back. "Where is she?"
"Temporary placement," The cop says again, "It's only for the night, they can find her something more permanent if they have to. Do you have any siblings, parents, father's side?"
"No," She quickly answers, "My brother's dead, and my parents might as well be, she can't go to them."
"I don't think they were able to find a relative-"
"Good." The cop nods and stands turning to his partner in the door, a short blonde haired woman, she nods to him and turns around,
"Take care of yourself before Social Service gets here." He turns heading to the door. Both he and the women don't leave, but they don't look at her either. This must be illegal, she doesn't care. Quickly she gets to her feet ignoring the nausea and headache and begins cleaning, she has to get rid of the empty alcohol bottles, and by the time they get there, she does.
…
"Mare" Sarah cries pulling her daughter close to her chest and holding her as tight as she can. The little girl holds just as tightly. The foster home they placed her in last night wasn't bad, but it wasn't her bed, her nightlight, or her window. She remembers when they asked her if she had grandparent's. She wanted so badly to say yes, to go spend the night with them, but since she and her mother left six months ago, her mother has been telling her the same thing every time she asks,
"They don't want to see us anymore, they don't love us like they used to. We're never going back."
So she told them what her mother would want her to tell them,
"No, not anymore."
The next morning they asked her if she felt safe and secure in her home, she did and she didn't. Her mother drank a lot lately, every night and every day, but she loved her mother. They were finally together and sometimes she was nice to her, she didn't want to leave her, so she lied again, she told them
To her credit, Sarah spent the full hour it took Social Services to get there cleaning the apartment, top to bottom. The cops stayed in the doorway the whole time. She knew they should be watching her, stopping her as she dumped all the empty bottles out the window and down the fire escape, but they didn' broken bottles outside could be explained, this is New York, of course, there's broken glass in every ally way, no big deal, they could belong to anyone. Then she placed all her full bottles on a wine cart she bought at Goodwill weeks ago. That's what her parents did, both of them had fancy carts and hideaways for their booze. Her mother kept the wine on a special cart for all to see. Mainly because she only had expensive bottles, while her father had a special chest built for only his best cognac. It was a large bronze globe that sat in his office and opened to reveal beautiful crystal glasses and bottles of hard-sipping liquor. If her billionaire parents could do it, so could the average person. She sprayed a floral Fabreze everywhere and quickly did the dishes and put everything away. The house looked presentable when Social Services finally showed up.
They did a sweep of the house, and as expected asked about the overflowing wine cart,
"I'm a teacher at NYU, I'm invited to a lot of parties and get-togethers, I find bringing a nice bottle of spirits is better than a candle or plant."
"Isn't it a normal thing to bring wine?"
"We're university professors that don't get paid enough, wine doesn't cut it. We're also responsible adults that know our limits and act accordingly."
"Still that seems like a lot to have in the home with a nine-year-old."
"I hate grocery shopping, and Mare knows better, she's been raised by me correctly."
The Social Worker took a few notes on that. Luckily for Sarah, she was very smart, using big words, and being naturally pretty helped her a lot. She also had a good job and Mare was up to date on school and her medical records. Although she missed a dentist appointment a while back. It helped that Mare was a young gifted ice skater, the next morning when the Social worker walked to Mare's coach she had not a single bad word to say about Sarah.
"Marceline was enrolled about six months ago. Her last rink trained her well and she's one of the most talented in her age diversion. She already has sponsors and the Russian coaches are looking at her. Sarah doesn't usually come to her practices, but most parents don't, not unless they are helicopter parents or vicariously living through their children."
Her teachers also didn't have a single bad thing to say, Mare always showed up to class on time and looked clean, her grades were average, she knew the material, but didn't do well with her homework, and they blamed her after-school activities. She had a hard time in math but did well in reading. In the end, Sarah said she was exhausted from grading papers, and had a few cocktails to relax at around 5 in the morning and just fell asleep. It took 12 hours of questioning but then Marceline Ann Callahan was returned to her mother.
They hugged tightly in front of the courthouse the social worker standing off to the side,
"We'll do an update check in two weeks and again after that, you'll be put on a probational period for a year and after that, if everything looks good, this can be expunged from your record."
Sarah thanked the woman and they left. She took Mare for ice cream, remembering her mother's words all those years ago
"Your father took her out to celebrate, don't worry I told him they could only go out for frozen yogurt, ballerinas don't eat ice cream."
Then she took her home,
"Mare follow me." She grabbed her daughter's hand and the trolly of liquor, together they both dragged it into the kitchen, and together they dumped every single bottle. She knew she couldn't return them, she had thrown away the receipt and the liquor store owner was known to reject returns so together they dumped every single bottle. Tears ran down her face as she made promise after promise,
"I'll never drink ever again, I'm so so sorry, I'll be a better mother, I know I can be a better mother, it's just really hard for me sometimes, but I'm going to get better I promise!"
Her daughter accepted her apologies and her promises and to Sarah's credit she kept her promise, it was only two days when the shakes and headaches were too much. She ran to the corner store to purchase several bottles of Ketel One Vodka,
"Didn't you just buy a whole bunch of bottles?"
"Work Party," She mumbles trying to keep the shakes away,
"Do you have a problem?" The owner asked sliding over an, AA pamphlet,
"Are you going to take my money or not?" The owner pushed his lips and then shook his head,
"I'm not, get some help."
She started spacing out her trips, going to different stores and gas stations, she never went back to that store though, he knew too much.
…
"We just want to know how this happened." Sarah bit her thumbnail. How could this happen, how could she let this happen...how could she do this? A single tear falls down her cheek, she's quick to wipe it away and take a breath,
"She's going to Russia in a month to train with her coach." She swallows, "Her coach has been giving her a lot of grieve because she can't execute a proper cartwheel so she's been practicing in the living room all week." Not technically a lie that whole statement is true, here's where the lie comes in, "I wasn't watching her as closely as I should have and she fell, landed right on the edge of the glass coffee table, it shattered everywhere."
"Right," The social worker across from her nods, writing something down inside a manilla envelope,
"She's going to be fine right? You pulled me out of her room, while the doctors were.." How does she put it? They were huddling over her, wiping away blood...so much blood, sticking lights in her eyes, asking her questions trying to quiet her crying. They had only gotten there 10 minutes ago when they swept both of them away into a room, while someone came out to get her information. It was only minutes after that, that the hospital social worker pulled her aside and brought her to her office,
"The doctor will let you know, as for why we're here I think you know." The social worker whose name tag read Sandra said,
"Is this because of the incident a few months back?" Sandra nods,
"Yes, unfortunately when you're on a probational period when things like this occur we have to get CPS involved."
"But it was an accident!" No, it wasn't,
"I understand, but your name is still in the system, and it's only been four months since CPS had to get involved for neglect and now you're daughter's in the ER with a five-inch laceration on the side of her head, which by my understanding you didn't even bring her in or call an ambulance." Sandra says calmly, "It was your neighbor if I'm correct, she said she thought she heard a domestic assault going on next door and when the cops showed up, your daughter was sitting on the floor bleeding and you were puking in the bathroom."
"I don't like blood," Sarah answers quickly. In reality, she couldn't believe what she had done, she had yelled at her daughter and then pushed her into the coffee table. She'll never forget the crashing the glass made or her daughter's screams. "Wait, Neglect?" Sarah hadn't read the file from the last social worker, she had no idea she had written down neglect in their file.
"Your nine-year-old daughter was found roaming the streets of New York, alone." Sarah could yell, in fact, she thinks about it. She's not drunk, but she does feel the alcohol in her system, are they going to test her, can this woman tell? She brushed her teeth before coming here, she ate six slices of bread as they loaded Mare into the ambulance.
"I'm a single mother," Sarah finally croaked out, "I know she's ten, but...I feel like I'm still learning and making mistakes,"
"Of course you are," Sandra answers with surprising gentleness, "You're a single mother, you're supposed to make mistakes, but not ones that could harm your child." Sandra frowns, "Miss Callahan, I don't doubt that you're probably a good parent, but even you must see that this is a lot and I understand that this could be a complete and total accident. I know and the doctors here know that children get hurt, but we still need to check this out and if you cooperate and everything checks out, you will just be able to go home, and your Social worker will follow up with you." Sarah nods, as Sandra goes back to writing something,
"Um does this mean, that these events won't be taken off the record?" Sandra looks up, the gentle look off her face,
"You're social worker will explain those things to you." Again Sarah nods,
"Can I see my daughter?" Sandra finishes what she's writing and closes the manilla envelope,
"Not until the hospital psychiatrist has a chance to speak with her,"
"When will that be?"
"When he speaks with her." She answers curtly, not answering her question at all, "Until then there is a special room where you can sit and wait." She stands and Sarah stands with her, together they walk to a room, that Sandra unlocks and opens, carefully Sarah enters and sits in one of the chairs, she doesn't hear a lock, so it's not like they won't let her leave, but for her and Mare's sake she sits and waits,
…
It's hours later when a larger man with gelled hair and glasses enters, he seems nice, and he smiles at her. She stands and he motions for her to sit,
"I'm Dr. Manning, I'm one of the hospital psychiatrists, although my specialty is pediatrics." Sarah listens without really listening.
"Is Mare okay?"
"She told me she liked to go by Mare, although I think Marceline is a beautiful name, how did you come up with it?"
"I didn't, how is she?" Dr. Manning nos,
"She's alright, mild concussion, but Dr. Leeland will fill you in, in a second-"
"Just mild?" Sarah questions cutting the psychiatrist off, "There was so much blood." Dr. Manning nods,
"The scalp is very rich with blood, meaning they tend to bleed more, it's always very frightening to see a scalp laceration like that, but I promise you, she's okay. Up walking, talking, a nurse brought her applesauce, and she gobbled it right up." Sarah fells better hearing that, much better.
"Can you tell me in your own words what happened?" Sarah rubs her shoulder, she's cold and it's late...she needs...she needs a drink.
"The same thing I told the social worker." Dr Manning nods, he seems to do that a lot,
"Can you tell me?"
"She was doing cartwheels, I wasn't watching, I heard a large crash and she had gone through the glass topper on the coffee table." Did she stick to the lie correctly? She thinks so, no one can know the truth or else they'll take her and Sarah knows this, she closes her eyes tightly and pushes away the headache,
"Are you okay?"
"I want to see my daughter." She almost wants to ask what Mare has said, but she knows she'll look guilty,
"I'll take you to her." He stands heading for the door and Sarah jumps to her feet,
"Just like that?" Dr. Manning turns,
"Just like that." He answers, "Is there a problem?"
"It's just no one's let me see her like you're keeping her from me." Dr. Manning smiles, but it's not a genuine one,
"I promise you that's not anyone's goal here, come I'll take you to her." He did take her to her. Mare was sitting up on the hospital gurney, they changed her into a gown and gave her a popsicle, her eyes widened once she saw Sarah. She knew she must be afraid of her, and while she held her in the ambulance both knew this was Sarah's fault.
Mare wanted to go to the rink, but Sarah had been drinking and couldn't take her,
"You already had practice,"She remembers telling her,
"I need to get my triple salchow down,"Mare told her, ice skates already hanging over her shoulder,
"I've seen you do it, it's fine."
"No, you haven't Mom."Mare yelled, she never yelled,"You never come and see me skate, how would you know?"
"Mare, be careful with your choice of words right now."
"Coach Katerina says I have to be able to do three in a row without my arms going all stiff, before Russia, I have to practice more, before tomorrow."
"I said no."
"You're not good at anything, you don't understand."Mare stomped her foot, another thing she doesn't do, Mare never throws fits, nor does she throw things like this in her mother's face,
"Marceline!"
"If you won't take me I'll go alone."
"So you can wander into another convenience store and send out CPS, I don't think so!"
"Maybe if you could keep your promises and stop drinking all the time." Sarah didn't know what had happened, one minute she was standing there staring at her child, her child who looked nothing like her, who hadn't experienced the things she experienced. She saw red and before she knew it, she had pushed the little girl so hard, that she flew back, her head hitting the glass coffee table so hard the top not only flew off but shattered. Now she actually saw red, her child's eyes wide, her head split, blood everywhere, her sobs filling the small apartment.
"Mare...I'm so..so..I'm..Oh god."
"Mom!" Her daughter screamed, "Mom, why?" Sarah fled to the bathroom, vomiting until the police showed up. They called an ambulance and sat with Mare holding every towel in the apartment to her head until EMTs showed up. Sarah kept shouting about cartwheels hoping Mare would pick up on it...hoping she would lie...again.
"Mare." Sarah approached her daughter, "Sweetheart." She was careful knowing Dr. Manning was behind her. Mare gently lowered her popsicle,
"Hi, mom." She reaches out and hugs her and hugs her tight, "I didn't say anything." Her daughter whispers it's so quiet she knows the Dr. behind her heard nothing, and all she can do is hug her tighter. She shouldn't have to deal with this, she shouldn't have to lie like this.
"Never again." She whispers to her daughter.
They go home later that night, both of their stories checked out and theirs really no reason to keep her. Together they grab a taxi and head home, neither talk, and then when they get home, the evidence is still on the floor. Glass and blood, Sarah breaks down again, falling to her knees and sobbing. How could she do this? For the second time, in the span of one year, she grabs her daughter, gathers every single bottle of booze in the house, and dumps it in the drain, and just like last time she only lasts two days.
…
"Why did you name me Marceline?" This catches Sarah off guard and she turns towards the child slowly.
"Why?" Their grocery shopping, they do this once every two weeks when both have an open spot in their busy schedules. Sarah's a terrible cook, mainly because she's never had to cook for herself. She grew up with some of New York's best chefs cooking her meals, whether it be at the top-tiered restaurants or the slew of private chefs the family had over the years. Her budget is a little different than her parent's. She will never be able to afford a private chef on her professor's salary and she's okay with that. Unfortunately, it means prepackaged meals and ready-to-eat snacks, although Sarah can make a mean spaghetti and meatballs, but they can't eat that all the time.
"I don't know." Mare shrugs from her spot next to the cart. Sarah frowns,
"I think you do, why do you want to know about your name?" Mare huffs looking around as if to see if anyone's watching,
"A boy at school was making fun of me today." Sarah furrows her brows, Why on earth would anyone make fun of Mare? She's a cute kid, with long brown hair, and wide green eyes, that Callahan nose her mother bragged about. She's well-behaved, gets okay grades, and as far as Sarah's concerned she keeps pretty much to herself. She's too busy with ice skating to make friends, but that's fine, it's not like she could have any at their apartment anyway.
"Why was he making fun of you?"
"My name." Mare mumbles quietly,
"You're name?" Sarah still doesn't understand, "What's wrong with your name?" Mare's cheeks flush and she looks around again,
"It's weird." She tells her and silently Sarah agrees.
"That boy tell you that?" Mare nods and Sarah looks back down to her grocery list. She had two, one for the house and one for her. "Well, what's his name?"
"Theodore."
"Theodore?" She rolls her eyes and Mare nods harder,
"He likes to be called Teddy, he said his mom and dad named him after Teddy Rosevelt." Sarah pushes her list away and bends down to her daughter's level,
"Well next time he makes fun of your name, just tell him he was probably named after Ted Bundy because all elementary school bullies are named after serial killers." Mare's eyes go wide,
"Really?" Sarah nods,
"Yup," She stands back up and rolls the cart forward to the produce department,
"Mom?"
"Mare?"
"What am I named after?" This stops Sarah,
"What?"
"You didn't answer my question before?" She tilts her head innocently, "Why did you name me Marceline, am I named after someone too?" Sarah takes a breath,
"I didn't name you." She finally answers, pulling out her purse to rummage around for a piece of gum, what she wants now is a drink.
"Who did?" Finally, she pulls out two pieces of Spearmint and opens one shoving it into her mouth before handing the other one to her daughter. Anything she has usually Mare wants too and by the excited hand grabbing the wrapped stick, she's correct.
"Grand-mere" She blows out in one breath, they haven't talked about Sarah's parents in months,
"Why not you." Sarah shrugs,
"Good question, do you want carrots and ranch or celery?"
"Carrots please." Sarah quickly grabs the carrots and tosses them in the cart, before going for the bottle of ranch dressing, "But mom, my name-"
"Enough," Sarah turns towards her daughter, who instantly flinches and steps back...she flinches a lot lately...Sarah's heart hurts, what has she done to her? Quickly she reaches forward leaving her cart in the produce aisle and brings her to a quiet part of the store and bends down grabbing her wallet. Mare watches with wide eyes. Finally, Sarah fishes out a secret picture she always keeps tucked away and holds it out, Mare takes it,
"Who is this?" The picture is of a young man, with tanned skin, he's shirtless and looks like his standing in front of a beach, his blonde hair is messy and theirs a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses on his head. He looks happy, he's even giving the camera a thumbs-up,
"That's my brother," Sarah answers after taking a second to compose herself. She never talks about Marcel, it's easier not to. It's something her family does, ignore it, the pain will go away eventually...but it never does. It's something all rich people do. Sarah's observed it over the years, the rich try to outdo the rich, and therefore their lives must appear perfect on the outside. When Marcel died, Elizabeth and John never stopped or even slowed down their busy schedules, because even though they lost a son, an heir, they still had to appear as if they still had everything together otherwise they could be taken advantage of...that's why Sarah's never asked for help. It's a behavior she learned...one she's hoping she's not passing down to her daughter,
"You have a brother?" Sarah nods, bending down to her daughter's level once again. At 12 years old Mare's short for her age, but then again so was Sarah "He's handsome." Again, Sarah nods,
"He was very handsome, but he was also really kind, he would never make fun of someone because of their name. He was nice and good...he was my favorite person." After a second, Mare looked up,
"Can I meet him?" Sarah shakes her head,
"He's dead." Harsh she thought, but she knew Mare would understand, she was old enough and smart enough,
"How did he die?" Sarah reaches forward and grabs the picture,
"He drowned," She takes another breath, "But you know what his name was?"
"What?"
"Marcel," Sarah smiles, "Sound familiar?"
"Me?" Marceline smiles, and Sarah nods,
"You, Marceline, and Marcel."
"I wish I got to meet him." Sarah reaches forward and pushes a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear,
"I do too." Mare looks over at the picture again,
"Why couldn't he swim?" Sarah stands, her knees pop and she looks around uncomfortably,
"He did."
"Then how did he drown?"
"He was out with friends..." She fights for the right words, but she can't find them, and Mare's impatient,
"They pushed him?"
"No-"
"Did they hold him underwater?"
"No, I-"
"What happened?"
"He was drinking." She finally says. She doesn't realize it's out till it's out and her daughter is now crying. Quickly she bends down and wipes her tears, "Why are you crying?"
"You're going to die?" Sarah scrunches her eyes,
"No, I'm not, why do you think I'm going to die."
"Because you drink." Sarah leans back,
"Mare, we're nowhere near water." Mare reaches up to wipe her eyes,
"But you drink." Sarah's taken aback, what does she say to that, she wipes and pushes her daughter's bangs back. She finds the scar on the side of her head and her heart hurts all over again. She pulls her daughter in for a hug and holds her while she cries, mumbling how she doesn't want her to die...Sarah doesn't want to die either, there was a time when she did. The day she gave birth pops into her mind, but now she is holding her 12-year-old daughter not wanting to die...
…
Sarah hasn't been back to this corner store since the day the man behind the counter refused to serve her, but she doesn't know where to start. So with a large breath she enters, the same man is behind the counter she looks around to make sure no one is standing nearby before approaching him. He's looking down at a notebook, when she gets closer she can see he's writing down numbers, must be working. He looks up and studies her,
"You again?" She lifts one brow,
"You remember me?"
"Never forget someone who's ruining their life." She frowns,
"Do you look at what you sell, how can you be so judgmental?"
"I'm making a living while sleeping well at night. Nothings wrong with a drink at the end of the night, what's wrong is selling a gun to someone who's suicidal."
"I'm not suicidal." the man in front of her shakes his head and goes back to his notebook,
"Sure you're not. You're wasting your time here, I'm still not selling to you." She huffs and shoulders her purse a little tighter.
"I'm not here to buy anything." The man lifts a brow keeping his eyes on the notebook,
"Oh?" She huffs again before slapping her hand down on the counter, getting the man's attention. He's a good-looking man, buff and a little tan, a bit of stubble on his chin, with dark brown hair brushed and hair sprayed back. When he looks up at her, she sees he has eyes the same color as olives. She can't help but stare at his eyes, they are about three shades darker than her own daughter's eyes, but she finds them kinder than her daughter's emerald coloring. She shakes her head and steps back,
"Do you still have that pamphlet?" The man's face doesn't change as he grabs something from a drawer behind the counter and slides it over. Quickly she grabs it,
"Don't you find it weird that you keep these while selling all this?" She points to all the bottles around her, dark and clear liquid sitting so tepidly in their glass homes. The man shakes his head,
"Nope," She holds the paper close and nods,
"Well, thank you." She turns to leave,
"Hey?" She quickly turns back, her blonde hair flying around her, "Theres is schedule in there with meeting places, I attend on Thursday nights," She raises an eyebrow,
"You attend?" he nods,
"I haven't always been the put-together, handsome corner store man you see here today."
"Really?" He nods his head,
"I got into a fraternity in college," he almost looks ashamed, "I never stood a chance." She can understand, college wasn't easy on her either,
"Where did you go to college."
"NYU"
"Me too." It's out before she can stop it, and for a second he looks a little nervous.
"Well, maybe I'll see you there." She nods, maybe he will.