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October 8th, X778

It had been a long time since Natsu had thought about his mother. Her face had long-since faded from his memory, as had his father's. His brother's, too. He'd once had a family, thousands of years ago, but he could no longer recall what they looked like, what their laughter or voices had sounded like. They were long gone, much like everyone else in his town – wiped out by the wall of ash that had swept down upon them from Igneel's mountain. Even him.

He thought about his mother now though. She'd once told him that people hid things from the ones they loved to protect them, oftentimes destroying themselves in the process. It was that particular thought that latched onto him like a burr when a shout filled the air. He whirled around to find that Lucy had collapsed face-first onto the ground. She didn't move.

Cursing, Natsu whirled around and threw himself in her direction. Gray beat him there and was on his knees in the snow, turning Lucy gently onto her back by the time he reached them. "Lucy?" Gray barked. "Can you hear me?"

The fact that there was no response from her sent that knife in his chest spinning. He dropped down beside Gray as soon as he reached them, swearing in an ancient language they didn't understand. Wendy wasn't far behind, hastily checking her neck and handing Natsu his scarf after dragging it away. He'd given it to Lucy to protect her throat from the biting wind that had chosen to carve its way through the mountains that morning.

He'd known her neck hadn't been doing well. Natsu had known that it was worrying Wendy more with each passing second. Even so, he didn't expect that Gray, who worked alongside Jellal and the smell of decay that often accompanied him, would flinch at the stench that came from the infected wound on Lucy's neck. Wendy's hands shook as she swallowed back her own gagging retch. "Natsu," she said uneasily, but said nothing more. He didn't need her to. He knew it was bad.

"Luce," urged Natsu, nudging her cheek with his fingertips. Lucy's face was clammy and pale, yet burning hot with fever. Now that he was really looking at her, he could see that sweat had slicked her hair to her face. He could hear her breath as it came in unsteady, ragged gasps. "Lucy," he rasped, panic rising in his chest. When she still didn't respond, he turned to Wendy. "What do we do?" he pleaded.

Wendy looked shaken, frozen in place until Gray gently nudged her. She blinked a few times, then met Natsu's gaze. "I don't know," she admitted hoarsely. "I think it's…Natsu, I don't think this is something I can fix anymore." Her voice cracked, tears brimming. Self-loathing seeped into every word she spoke.

Speechless, Natsu found he couldn't breathe. So, he simply bent until his forehead rested against Lucy's and uttered a soft prayer to Igneel.

"You're not here because of what Levy did."

Natsu wasn't sure where those words came from, but as they dripped venomously from his lips, he knew they were true. He stared harshly at Gray, tearing his eyes from Lucy's pale face for the first time in hours. He'd been the one to carry Lucy to the small cave they'd found while Gray and Wendy had carefully made sure it was safe enough to set up camp in. He'd stepped away from her only to help start the fire that he knew would help Lucy stay warm. He'd been sitting with her ever since, her head pulled into his lap. Lucy slept restlessly. Occasionally, her glazed eyes would slide open for no more than a few moments and she'd whisper something before letting them flutter shut again.

Before Wendy had gone to bed, exhausted after pushing harder than usual to get somewhere safe, she'd told him, "It's the fever. Or the infection. Or both. They can cause delirium."

Gray didn't react from where he'd been watching Natsu and Lucy. He'd been sitting beside Wendy, who was too upset to feel the chill he created. She'd wanted company more than warmth. Gray had affectionately tucked an extra blanket around her after she'd fallen asleep, nudging her closer to the fire.

After a period of silence in which Natsu thought he'd go ignored, Gray exhaled slowly. "No," he said reluctantly, drawing the word out just a little. "No, I'm not, Natsu."

From the moment Gray had shown up, Natsu had suspected there was more to his presence than what he'd claimed. Even with Lucy wearing Natsu's scarf, there was no way Gray should have conveniently found them in the middle of the mountains. Natsu was sure it barely gave off any signs of the power it once had.

He'd known Gray was there for something he knew Natsu wouldn't like.

Natsu's hands trembled as he brushed hair from Lucy's face and snarled in a low voice, "Then why are you here?"

Gray's voice was uncomfortably gentle. "As a courtesy to you, and to Lucy – to make sure she doesn't become a lost soul." When Natsu didn't respond outside of a vicious look shot in Gray's direction, Gray met his gaze evenly. "We warned you over and over, Natsu. Lucy is human. Regardless of what you want to happen, Erza knows when. She always knows."

Natsu curled his body over hers as if he'd fend off Death herself. "No." He could feel his anger simmering to the surface, charring his flesh and bringing out the smell of something or someone burning.

Gray seemed unsurprised. He even offered a half-smile. "I didn't say right now, you know." His dark eyes took Lucy in for a few moments. "We don't want to hurt you – or Lucy, or Wendy. We don't take any pleasure in any of this."

Natsu tried to summon the power that had once emanated from him, if only to chase Gray away, but it didn't so much as spark in his veins now. He clenched his jaw so hard he thought his teeth would crack. He wanted to get Gray as far away from Lucy as he could, to prevent the slightest chance that Erza might make an appearance.

Because Erza would come. Today, tomorrow, next year, it didn't matter. Just as Gray had said, she always knew when it was time for her to come to someone and bring their life to its end.

Fury burst through his chest and ash spouted from his lips in a rush of breath. Natsu hastily turned his face aside to avoid breathing them onto Lucy's face. Ignoring the way his skin burnt and cracked, he bent his forehead to Lucy's, always careful not to breathe burning ash and embers out onto her face. When the fury had simmered down just enough, he said hoarsely, "I can't, Gray."

Gray rested his chin in his hand, ever so calm, and it made Natsu want to hit him. Natsu thought he sounded sorrowful about it all when he murmured, "I know."

Natsu would admit that the decision to push on four days later was entirely his, and was definitely not the best choice he'd ever made in life. He ignored Wendy's protests and Gray's pointed glare, choosing to simply pack up the camp himself and heft Lucy onto his back. Happy trailed out of the cave after him when he did so. He was determined to get to Mount Hakobe.

Igneel would know what to do.

Igneel always knew what to do when Natsu's life was shattering into pieces.

Natsu turned his head to look when Lucy mumbled something against his shoulder, where her chin rested. For just a moment, her eyelids fluttered, as if she would wake up. She was dreaming, he realized as she settled again. He pressed a fond kiss to her temple, wondering what she was dreaming about in her feverish mind.

"Natsu!" gasped Wendy, out of breath from trying to keep up. Natsu slowed down as she managed to catch up with him. He felt guilty about pushing Wendy so hard; she didn't deserve to struggle because he was so impatient and desperate. "We should really–"

Natsu cut her off before she could finish, knowing precisely what she'd say. "Igneel will help Lucy, Wendy. We have to get to Igneel." Of that, he was confident. Igneel would help. Natsu refused to believe otherwise.

Wendy bit her lip and reached up to gently check Lucy's fever. Lucy's eyes fluttered in response, as if she registered the touch. Natsu inhaled sharply when they then opened, gaze hazy, and she slurred, "Wendy?"

Wendy's absent smile returned. "Lucy!" she laughed. "You're awake!"

Lucy winced at the loud exclamation, groaning quietly, and hid her face against Natsu's shoulder. She didn't seem to care that he was carrying her. Natsu wasn't entirely sure she even noticed. "My head," she moaned, voice cracking.

Wendy murmured a softer apology and told Natsu, "Put her down." When Natsu hesitated, wanting to push on to Igneel, Wendy said pleadingly, "At least give her a break, Natsu. I need one, too, and Lucy needs some water. We can keep going in a few minutes, okay?"

Wendy did look exhausted. So, Natsu did as she said, trusting that she knew what was best. With Wendy's help, he helped ease Lucy to the snow-covered ground, where she sat with a dazed, confused look on her face as she tried to comprehend where they were – which was, of course, the middle of nowhere in particular. Gray had a water bottle at the ready by the time Natsu was satisfied she was alright where she was. He crouched in front of Lucy with a small grin. "Look who decided to wake up after making us do all the hard work," he teased lightly, offering the bottle.

Natsu wanted to throttle him. Lucy hated when she didn't feel like she was pulling her own weight. Yet she simply blinked once at him and took the bottle, struggling with the lid. When she finally popped it off, she began promptly chugging half the bottle. Wendy pried it out of her fingers when she stopped to breathe. "Don't drink too much too fast, Lucy. You'll get sick."

Lucy grumbled about it. Something about her knowing damn well how to limit her own water. It drew a hint of a smile to Natsu's face. Once, he'd have been annoyed with Lucy's grumpy quips. He was glad to hear them now; it meant she felt a little better than before. It gave Natsu hope that they were on the right path, that Igneel could help her.

"Where are we?" rasped Lucy, looking over at Gray for an explanation with a furrowed brow.

Gray jerked his chin in Natsu's direction. "Ask him. I think we're heading to a semi-active volcano, but Natsu's refusing to tell anyone, so…"

Natsu uttered a particularly nasty insult in his ancient language, knowing for a fact that despite Gray's scowl, he had no idea what he'd just called him. Neither did Lucy, but she still reached out and tiredly tugged at his sleeve. "Please don't, Natsu," she mumbled, and he immediately clamped his mouth shut, annoyed he'd upset Lucy.

Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose, simply sitting there with her eyes shut for a moment. Natsu wanted so badly to keep going, to keep Lucy moving, so that they might reach Igneel before nightfall, so that he might finally be able to help her somehow–

Lucy suddenly spun around on her knees and heaved. She vomited the water she'd consumed back up, a choked sob bursting from her chest despite her best efforts, as if it hurt her to do so. The ever-present knife in Natsu's chest twisted painfully. "Luce?" he said softly when she'd finished retching.

"Sorry," she croaked, unable to do anything about the tears streaming down her face.

"It's okay," said Wendy, smiling gently as she touched Lucy's shoulder. She offered the water bottle again. "Want to rinse your mouth out?"

"Thanks," whispered Lucy, doing just that.

Gray said nothing, simply watching and observing, which was what he'd been mostly doing since Natsu had confronted him. Natsu wanted nothing more than to simply deck the guy and see if that made him feel better.

"Natsu." Wendy was looking at him pleadingly when he glanced over. "We have to stop. I know you…I know you want to get to Igneel, but we need to. Just for tonight. We can make it there tomorrow."

He wanted to argue, but the placating look on her face…the uncertainty of her voice as she spoke, as if she feared how he'd respond… Natsu winced, wondering if he'd been harsh to Wendy at all in the last few hours. He didn't remember being hard on her. But then, he didn't remember much about what he'd done since Lucy had collapsed in the snow. Maybe he'd said something that had hurt her feelings, but he couldn't remember if he had.

Natsu's attention slid to Lucy. She hardly seemed to notice him. She simply rested there, held up only by Wendy's hand on her shoulder, gasping quietly for breath. Her skin was so pale, it was almost gray, and her dark eyes had grown hazy again, as if she weren't entirely present. She would likely pass out again soon.

So, Natsu swallowed his impatience. "Yeah. Yeah, we can…we can stop for the night. Gray and I will set up camp if you sit with her." Wendy threw him a grateful smile before turning to Lucy and murmuring something. Lucy managed a small response, and Wendy called Happy over. Natsu only watched as his strange cat hopped into Lucy's lap as gently as he could, purring loudly. Lucy's fingers trembled as they stroked the blue fur.

That knife twisting and twisting, Natsu bent to kiss Lucy's head before going to prep their camp for the night.

Natsu was in the midst of helping Wendy inventory their supplies – something Lucy ought to have been doing, though she was too ill to do so now – when the delicate scent of decay touched his nose. Natsu dropped the pack of cards he'd found hidden away in Wendy's bag almost immediately; she'd claimed they were for when they one day found a place to stay – when they had time for such silly, meaningless things. They didn't matter much now.

Natsu stopped dead in his tracks, a vicious hum escaping him as he whipped around to glare at the person kneeling beside Lucy. Wendy turned to look and gasped. Jellal hardly seemed to notice them, frowning thoughtfully at Lucy. He didn't so much as look up when Natsu snarled, "Don't touch her!"

Wendy sprang to her feet, alarmed. "Natsu–"

Jellal's answer was as calm as ever. "You know fully well that I would never harm Lucy, nor that I even can." Jellal glanced up, wary as he rose to his feet. He tightened his woolen cloak around him to fend off the chill, rounding the fire to join them. Wendy latched onto Natsu's arm nervously as he approached, pressing close.

"Go sit with Lucy," Natsu instructed Wendy under his breath.

Because Jellal wouldn't have left Hel for no reason. Friend or not, Natsu didn't trust him. He knew who often accompanied the fallen god that rarely left Hel. Erza always knew when, but she didn't like to step on the toes of the gods when she came for their Favored. Rather, she preferred to remain on their good side when she stepped in. It was rare that the gods or spirits disagreed with her choices; only Juvia had in the entire time Natsu had been a god, and even then, they'd come to an agreement quickly. Erza alone had denied her own nature; Jellal was proof of that, and since he'd come into existence, she often sent him to speak with those blocking her path.

At least there was no sign of Gray, who'd gone to ensure the safety of the area with the runes Wendy had shown him on a piece of paper she kept in her bag, special just for her and a gift from Levy.

Wendy didn't have to be told twice. She scurried over to sit with Lucy. Happy lifted his head, having been curled up at Lucy's side, and blinked at them all irritably, unhappy that he'd been woken. Not once did Wendy remove her gaze from the newcomer.

"You might as well go home, Jellal," Natsu said sharply as the fallen god approached him. "I know why you're here. I don't give a damn what your or Erza or Gray have to say. It's not gonna happen."

Jellal's lips twisted into a dry smile. "So I'm sure all gods and spirits are aware, Natsu. I thought I'd still make my best attempts – for Lucy's sake, more than anything else."

Natsu refused to budge, gaze darting around in search of Erza, whether it be a flash of scarlet or one of her feathered omens of death. "You can say all you want. It's not going to change anything."

"Nor is prolonging her suffering, Natsu." The furious sun god stiffened, enraged by the accusation as it lingered in the air. Jellal held a hand up to silence any protests Natsu planned to fire at him. He lifted his chin, a quiet anger burning in his eyes. "I remember what it was like to pray for Death to bring an end to the pain as the plague destroyed my body, Natsu. Lucy suffers from something relatively similar, if what I've gathered is true. I would never wish that pain on anyone else, let alone someone who clearly means a lot to someone I consider a friend." His gaze softened then. "I understand it's not something you do out of a desire to watch others suffer. You are not a cruel god, unlike some of the older beings that once walked this earth. But you're old enough to have forgotten what it is like to suffer as Lucy does now. You worry too much about your own suffering to consider what Lucy might be enduring."

Speechless, Natsu clenched his jaw. He couldn't bear the idea of Lucy suffering endlessly, as she did now. But he'd promised. He'd promised her. "I won't let someone hurt you like that ever again. Even if it means never going back to Valhalla." He'd vowed to protect her, that he'd never let anyone hurt her again.

But…here he was.

Preventing someone from ending the pain she was so clearly in.

It was Natsu hurting her now, simply because he couldn't bear the idea of letting her go.

"Protect those that are under your care," Igneel had taught him, "regardless of what you are protecting them from – even if it means you must protect them from yourself."

Natsu was horrified when he felt the burning tears start sliding down his cheeks in little rivers of glowing light. "It's not fair," Natsu said unevenly, breathing raggedly.

Jellal's voice was gentle. "I know."

"She didn't do anything."

"I know."

"I love her." Natsu's voice cracked.

"We know," said Jellal, face softening at Natsu's broken confession.

Instinctively, Natsu snapped his gaze to where Lucy lay, unsurprised to find a familiar, scarlet-haired figure hovering over Lucy. Wendy simply stared at Jellal and Natsu, clutching Lucy's hand with confusion. She couldn't see her, realized Natsu, scrubbing the back of his hand across his face to try and smear away the tears. Wendy couldn't see Death as she sat at her shoulder, waiting patiently – waiting for him, because Erza refused to do what she'd come to do until he was ready.

It was his decision to make, and Natsu just couldn't do it. He couldn't hurt Lucy any more than he had.

With a shaken breath, Natsu staggered over on unsteady legs. "Natsu?" whispered Wendy as he collapsed beside her. He couldn't bring himself to comfort her, not even when she jolted in terror when Erza suddenly seemed to materialize beside her as soon as Natsu gave a curt nod. Wendy was brave before Death though. She didn't even move an inch from Lucy's side.

Certainly not when Natsu touched Lucy's cheek with trembling fingers and murmured, "Lucy."

Lucy's hazy brown eyes fluttered, a soft sound of agony in her throat. "Natsu?" she rasped, voice no more than a whisper.

He swallowed thickly, careful not to let the tears that just wouldn't stop from striking her skin. They sizzled as they struck the earth. He used his scarf to wipe them away quickly, so they wouldn't ruin the coat she'd insisted he wear. He didn't want to hurt her more than he already had either. "Hey, Luce," he whispered, smiling weakly at her. His fingers lingered on her cheek; he couldn't bring himself to stop touching her, knowing his time was now limited. "Sleeping the day away again?"

Her lips quirked tiredly. "S'clearly night." She grimaced, swallowing painfully against her parched throat. Her gaze roved until it landed on Erza's face. Her lips parted in surprise. Natsu might have laughed in any other situation. Understanding flickered, and where some might have immediately began bargaining or pleading, Lucy only whispered, "Hello."

Erza's gaze warmed. "Hello, Lucy."

It took but a fleeting look from Natsu for Wendy to comprehend what was happening, and her expression crumpled into one of misery. The tears flowed down her cheeks, as endless as Natsu's. She blocked the sob that tried to burst from her chest as she took Lucy's hand and squeezed it tightly. "I love you, Lucy," she managed to choke out with a broken smile.

Lucy was too tired to even respond aloud. She simply squeezed her hand back as best as she could. When her gaze flickered back to Natsu, he faltered. He could remember so many things they'd done together. He remembered her fury, when he'd first crashed through her ceiling, and the joy on her face when she'd felt warmth in Levy's wards for the first time in months. He could remember how lovely she'd looked beneath the shifting colors of the night sky when he'd gifted them to her, the ferocity with which she'd defended Wendy in Hyacinth and attacked him before she'd realized it was him.

There were so many things he could remember – things he loved about Lucy.

He stared numbly at Erza. "Please, Erza. Please." Erza only smiled kindly at him, sympathetic, and said nothing when Lucy mumbled a wordless sound of confusion. "I'll do what you did," he tried. "I won't claim another human as my Favored. Please. I've never asked you guys to do anything for me–"

"I'm not Mavis," interrupted Erza quietly. "I cannot make bargains with anyone, Natsu." He clenched his jaw, glaring at her. She simply asked him, "Would you have her stay like this until Mavis is found?"

Natsu looked at Lucy again. Her eyes had slipped shut, slumber threatening to claim her yet again. He took in the sharp angles of her face and realized she'd lost weight since she'd gotten sick – realized that it had been a long, long time since he'd seen the true spark of joy and life that she'd once carried.

Realized that even if Erza left here and now, it wouldn't bring the Lucy he loved so dearly back.

"Please," he begged one more time, hoping some miracle would occur and Mavis would appear.

No miracle came.

So, weeping, Natsu pressed his forehead to Lucy's as he'd done so many times. She opened her eyes again; they weren't as clear as they'd been moments before. He cradled her cheeks between his hands. The tears he'd been trying to protect her from struck her skin regardless, burning, and Lucy didn't react to them. She simply searched his gaze, ever so tired. Natsu stroked his thumb along her cheekbone. "I'd give you the stars," he told her, choking on his own words. "And the moon, and the sky, and anything else you'd ever want, Luce."

The smallest amount of amusement burned in her gaze as she slurred, "Don't want it."

He smiled weakly at her. "I'd give them to you anyways." He didn't move – refused to – but let a soft hum escape. It was deeper than any other he'd created before, yet soft, and comforting, and so full of his misery that had he looked up, he might have noticed Erza blink a few times, as if trying to avoid shedding tears herself. Echoing Wendy, he murmured, "I love you, Lucy."

When Natsu's world ended, it wasn't with a bang.

It was with the whisper of Lucy's last breath.

A couple of things:

1) I'm absolutely thrilled by the comments people have been making after the last chapter. I cannot WAIT to see how people respond to this one.

2) Somehow, for the first time in my life, I got to see a little of the aurora borealis this past weekend. Coolest thing ever, and I'm so glad I squeezed them in to SF.

3) I'm having surgery this week! I'm hoping to stick to my usual update schedule (especially given the end of this chapter ;)) but just a warning in case I don't.

Thanks to reviewers (gruntled, happy966, hopelesskar, Guest #1, xennia-x, Guest #2, Brooke0315, Rachel Maddison, Meow Orbit, takeagamble27, & Guest #3!) as well as those who favorited and followed!