A/N: Written for today's prompt: Write a 'missing' Densi scene. I couldn't resist writing a post-scene for 'Mother'. This one also has a little bit of mature content.

"I really thought I was going to lose you today," Kensi whispered into Deeks' chest. Her cheek rested against his shoulder, his bare skin pleasantly warm against her own. He had an arm wrapped securely around her back, holding her in place. Her heart beat had evened out some and she felt relaxed in a way that only came from true exhaustion.

They'd been pretty frantic when they got home, ripping off each other's clothes with an intensity fueled by residual fear and relief. They hadn't even made it to bed the first time and she knew in the morning they'd both regret the rug burn and bruises from bumping into furniture.

Deeks didn't say anything for a long time, but she felt his muscles twitch minutely beneath her. She ran her hand across in his chest and pressed her lips to his shoulder.

"I was too at first, but then when I realized that I probably wasn't getting out of there…I thought about how good I've had it. How lucky I've been to have you in my life and I realized I was, well not exactly ok with it, but I guess maybe content," he said eventually, shaking his head and swallowing harshly. He reached up and wrapped his hand around hers, his finger tapping at her wedding ring. Kensi felt her throat tighten with emotion and she fought to keep her voice even as she asked,.

"Is that why you told me about the panic attacks?" She started running her fingers through Deeks' hair, needing the contact and confirmation that he was lying beside her. Deeks nodded, pulling in a deep sigh.

"I needed you to know that it was ok to leave." Kensi laughed sadly and tilted his chin down to look him directly in the eye.

"Oh baby, you know there's no way I was leaving you. Even if I didn't come with that ridiculous, last minute plan, I would have stayed." Deeks shuddered and pulled her even closer, pressing his lips to her forehead in a desperate kiss.

"I think that's what terrifies me the most," he murmured. Kensi brushed her fingers over his jaw, clinging to him just as much as he was to her.

"I can't help it. I love you and I'm with you to the end, no matter what," she said and Deeks sighed heavily.

"Honestly, I'd have done the same." After another long silence, in which Kensi thought Deeks had fallen asleep, he asked, "Are we really going to quit our jobs and live in a van?" Kensi laughed again, pressing her face into Deeks' chest so the sound was muffled.

"You know, honestly a few hours ago that sounded wonderful," she answered slowly.

"And now?"

"I really don't think I want to live in a van. The quitting our jobs part…I'm not sure what to do. In a way, I feel like never stepping foot in the mission again, but then I know that we can't just abandon the others. Especially now," Kensi said, rubbing her forehead. They'd had this conversation so many times, and although they always moved a step closer, they never seemed to be able to take that final leap. Or at least she couldn't.

Deeks nodded, his expression turning concerned.

"Yeah, this has to be hard for both Hetty and Callen. I can't imagine what it was like being there in that museum," he said in agreement. They'd only heard a water-downed, terse version from Callen, but it was enough.

"And I don't think Nell is doing very well either, she looked a wreck when we got back to the mission." she added, frowning at the thought.

After a minute, Deeks nudged her and when she looked up he was smirking at her.

"What about the home schooling thing? Can't you just picture yourself waking up and teaching our little ninja assassins how to read?" he teased and she could tell he was trying to lighten the mood again.

"I think we both know that was said in a moment of pure adrenaline and panic. There's no way I have the patience for that."

"So we're not going to be French-speaking, berry-eating hippies for the rest of our lives? I'm so disappointed."

"Mm, afraid not." She shifted so she was suddenly laying fully on top of Deeks' body. He immediately rearranged his legs to accommodate her, settling his hands low on her hips. "But, I do want to have babies with you," she added, leaning up to kiss Deeks lightly.

"Really?" he checked, looking slightly wary and honestly a little shocked. She nodded and his face split into the widest grin she'd ever seen.

God she loved him so much. Acting on that thought, she grasped either side of his head and kissed him soundly. Deeks responded enthusiastically, his hands smoothing up her body and clutching at her shoulders.

"Just to be clear," Deeks gasped against her mouth as she pressed her hips into his, "are we working on that baby right now?"

She thought of all the times she'd put this off, all the worries, the fears she'd had about having kids. Then she remembered holding Deeks' arms through a tiny window, not knowing if they'd ever see each other again and having a feeling of loss and regret so strong it had nearly made her gasp. She was determined not to ever feel that way again.

Smoothing Deeks' hair back, she ducked to kiss him again and then murmured between uneven breaths, "There's no point in waiting."

A/N: Although this might have some similarities to chicgeekgirl89's story, Afterboom, I promise this was mostly written before I read it.