This one is also related to "Answers".

Kensi came up behind Deeks and rested her cheek on his upper back as he filled the dishwasher. He straightened up, clasping the hand she'd wrapped around his torso.

"You doing ok?" he checked. They'd had a couple drinks back at the bar before returning home and it was nice to relax for once. Although baby-making wasn't completely off her mind, she felt a lot more at ease since they'd discussed it.

"Mm-hmm," she murmured into his shirt and then pressed a kiss there. "I was actually thinking about what you said earlier, about your mom being "non-existent". I know she wasn't your typical mom, but I always had the feeling that she was very present in your life." Deeks sighed, bowing his head a little more and turned around, settling with his back against the counter.

"I didn't really mean it like that," he said and for a moment Kensi thought he was going to leave it at that. Then he ran his hand through his hair, looking in the opposite direction. "My mom really tried her best with what she had. When my dad was around, she tried to protect me, but when she couldn't she just kind of…turned in on herself. For a long time I think she accepted that was how her life was going to be."

He swallowed harshly, glancing briefly at Kensi before his gaze skittered away. She clasped both of his hands between hers, encouraging him to continue.

"After I shot him and the police came and I got taken into social services, mom worked really hard to get me out. It wasn't easy. And I think that gave her a purpose for a while, she felt like she was doing something for me for a change."

"And after you got out?" Kensi prompted gently.

"We had a small grace period. We were both a mess, but we had each other. Then mama found a job. It wasn't very good so she worked all the time just to pay rent and keep us fed. Sometimes I only saw her for a few minutes in the morning and then maybe a little at night if I was lucky."

"You guys were just trying to survive." Deeks nodded and rested his chin on her head.

"We were and she tried her best, in her own weird, crazy way, to be there for me but she couldn't a lot of the time," he said, his voice regretful.

"I'm sorry, baby," Kensi said and he shrugged, brushing it off.

"It wasn't all bad. I mean even when she was driving me crazy or doing ridiculous things, it was a wild ride. And she always did it with the best of intentions." That brought a smile to his face and he added, "Mom always tried to do something special for my birthday, like the time she accidentally got tickets to that crappy cover band. I still loved that she tried."

Kensi hugged him a little tighter and rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry you didn't have the childhood you should have," she murmured.

"Neither of us did," he pointed out. She thought back to what he'd said about not having a blueprint to parenthood. It was so true of both of them, but more so in Deeks' case in a way.

"You're right, but it doesn't mean we can't give our kids, whenever they may appear, a better life than we had. We won't make the same mistakes as our parents did," she said firmly.

"You think so?" Deeks said it playfully but she could still hear the doubt underneath.

"I know it. You're already one of the best men I know, I think fatherhood will only make you better." He blinked once, giving a slow shake of his head, then peered up at her from under his bangs. She thought she saw a glint of moisture in his eyes as he said in a trembling voice,

"I don't know if that's true, but I do know that you're going to be a great mom." She felt her own eyes fill with tears and pulled his face down to hers, kissing him firmly.

"I love you, Marty Deeks," she murmured as they clung to each other.

A/N: This doesn't precisely fit in with my other head canons for Mama Deeks, but I felt like we needed at least a little explanation for that one line.