A/N: We had a request for a baby diapering finale/showdown. I have to say, this is one of the more ridiculous things I've written.

"What have you been doing?" Kensi demanded, suddenly appearing in front of Deeks' desk.

"Um, monthly mileage report?" he offered, looking up slowly in confusion.

"No, I mean what have you been doing every morning before work? I know you weren't surfing and you weren't working out because Eric said he saw you here at 6 in the morning, talking to Sam."

"Kensi, it's not what-"

"Oh, you had better not say what I think you're about to say," Kensi warned him. Sam nudged his shoulder and said,

"You better tell her, Deeks. No point in trying to keep it a secret now." Kensi looked fairly alarmed by this and crossed her arms. Callen, who'd been minding his own business up to this point, leaned forward, apparently interested in what his partner and Deeks had been getting up to.

"I suppose you're right," he sighed. "Baby, don't get mad at me, but…Sam's been helping me practice stuff for when the baby comes."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Oh, just burping, swaddling, and diapering." He said it quickly as though it would somehow make it better. Kensi stared at him in disbelief for a moment and then gasped.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Callen wheezed, clearly delighted by the idea, but Kensi didn't seem nearly as amused.

"You're trying to beat my time!" she accused him. Deeks sputtered out a laugh.

"No, I was just trying to make sure I can change a diaper without having to call in the cavalry." Kensi scrutinized him with narrowed eyes while Sam just watched with a bemused expression.

"You're unbelievable," she said finally. "I want a showdown."

"You what?"

"I want a showdown. Just you, me and two fake babies," Kensi said fiercely, but her lip twitched slightly, letting him know she wasn't entirely serious.

"You know, that sounds way more terrifying than I think you realize," he said.

"A Diaper Showdown," Callen said around a chuckle. Kensi rounded on him with a dangerous expression and he instinctively leaned back in surprise.

"You can judge," she decided.

"I'm not judging a ridi-" Callen paused halfway through, obviously remembering the last time he'd used the word 'ridiculous'. "I'd be honored," he finished dryly.

"Wonderful." Kensi smiled cheerfully at him.

"So, rumor has it you guys are having a little competition," Eric said, entering the room with Nell by his side. They looked positively giddy.

"Apparently, we're having a Diaper Showdown," Callen explained, obviously having accepted his role in the whole thing. "Would you care to place a bet? The pot goes to whoever guesses the closest time."

"Now wait a second," Deeks started to say.

"Ooh, I'll put ten on Kensi for 2 minutes and 53 seconds," Nell said, turning to Deeks apologetically. "Sorry Deeks, but I've seen Kensi in action. She's good."

"I feel weirdly insulted," Deeks commented.

"I'll put ten on Deeks for three minutes exactly," Eric said. Sam rolled his eyes and said,

"Oh, what the hell, five on Deeks for three minutes and 10 seconds."

"I feel like that's a conflict of interest since you've been training Deeks," Callen pointed out.

"Doesn't matter because I'm going to win," Kensi said confidently.

"Ok, now you have a fight on your hands," Deeks said, getting to his feet and cracking his fingers. "And be warned, I've been trained by a master."

A few minutes later, everyone had gathered in the gym. Eric and Nell set up a makeshift baby changing center on one of the benches while Kensi grabbed the dolls.

When they were behind their stations, Sam walked to the center of the room.

"Alright, ground rules for today's competition: you need to wipe, powder and diaper each baby. The diaper must be facing the right direction and you need to use three wipes. And if you drop or otherwise concuss your baby, you're immediately disqualified," he explained.

Despite himself, Deeks felt a hint of moisture gather in the middle of his back. He flexed his fingers a few times and glanced over at Kensi who was focused as if she was preparing for battle.

"On the count of three. 1, 2, 3!" The moment Sam stopped speaking, Deeks grabbed a diaper from the pack, yanked it open and spread it out, face down on the table. He chanced another glance over at Kensi and saw that she already had the diaper open and was opening the packet of wipes with a practiced jab of her finger.

Turning his attention back to his own work, he struggled with the little plastic tab on the wipe package. Finally, he ripped it open out of desperation and yanked out three wipes at once. He was swiping the second cloth over the baby's plastic bottom when something fell to the ground as Kensi shouted,

"Crap!" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw she'd knocked the baby powder over. He almost felt sorry for her as she laboriously sank into a squat and tried to reach under the bench. Almost.

Tossing the third wipe to the side, he grabbed his own bottle of baby powder, once again struggling with the top. It popped open, emitting a cloud of white that coated his face, the bench and most of the baby. Suppressing a cough, he sprinkled a bit more powder on the baby's bottom for good measure and reached for the diaper.

About 30 seconds later, both he and Kensi shouted, "Done!" There was a moment of anticlimactic silence and then Nell asked,

"Soooo do we break the tie with a burping contest?" Deeks couldn't tell if she was serious or not.

"It wouldn't be a tie if I hadn't had to pick that bottle up off the floor. I was way ahead of Deeks," Kensi pointed out, cradling her baby in the crook of her arm.

"That doesn't seem very sportsmanlike. Maybe we should have a rematch," Deeks suggested. Callen stood up from his designated judging spot and said,

"No need. As judge of this competition, I declare Kensi the winner."

"Wait, what? You didn't even look at my work." Deeks held his baby up to show off the neatly secured tabs.

"Doesn't matter, Deeks. You covered your baby in baby powder. I'm sure there's a rule against that in some parenting book. Plus now someone has to clean up the floor and bench," Callen said and Sam rolled his eyes.

"So you're disqualifying me because I made a mess?" Deeks asked.

"Pretty much." Kensi danced over with a wide grin in place and patted Deeks on the shoulder.

"Oh, don't feel so bad, baby, I'm sure there'll be other things you'll be good at," she said, chuckling as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"I want a rematch," he demanded and Kensi laughed.

"Sorry, not happening. Callen declared me the winner of the diaper showdown."

"When you think about it, does this whole thing strike you as really odd," Nell asked Eric as Kensi and Deeks continued to banter about the actual winner. Eric shrugged, considering the question.

"Compared to all the other weird stuff we've done, not really."