A/N: mashmaiden and bluenet13 mentioned that they'd like to see Mama Deeks and Kirkin meet. Things might have gotten a little ridiculous.

Deeks pressed a lingering kiss to Kensi's lips as they finished a slow dance and then straightened.

"I'll be right back," he said, unable to stop smiling.

"Where are you going?" Kensi asked, smoothing her hands up his back.

"I wanna check on Mama. I haven't seen her in a while."

"I'm sure she's ok." Deeks pulled back, raising an eyebrow at Kensi.

"You've seen her when she's had a few drinks and there's been a lot of champagne floating around tonight," he reminded her and Kensi nodded in concession.

"Mm, yeah, go check on her," she said, leaning in to kiss him again. "But hurry back."

Deeks expected to find his mom flirting with one of his friends or sharing embarrassing stories with the team. What he found instead was so much worse; his mom was seated at a back table, appearing to be very engrossed in conversation with Anatoli Kirkin.

"Mom, what are you doing?" he hissed.

"Oh, Martin, you scared me! I'm just talking to this nice gentleman," she explained, gesturing to Kirkin who smiled benignly up at Deeks.

"Mom, he's wearing handcuffs!" Deeks said, his voice rising slightly.

"Well, that's not my fault."

"Your lovely Mother was just telling me stories from when you were a boy," Kirkin offered and Deeks glared down at him. He'd need to have a talk with Eric and Nell about their babysitting duties.

"Why exactly are you still here?" he asked Kirkin, who waved his hands dismissively, apparently unencumbered by the handcuffs.

"Oh, apparently it's taking some time for the proper authorities to come for me. So I figured, why not enjoy myself? You're mother truly is a delight." Roberta and Kirkin shared a smile and Deeks rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, she's great."

"You should come over for dinner sometime, Anatoli," Roberta suggested. Shaking his head in disbelief, Deeks repeated,

"Again, Mom, he's wearing handcuffs. He's a criminal and he tried to kidnap me today." Roberta sighed, smacking him lightly on the leg.

"Kiddo, you're awfully tense for someone who just got married. Now, Anatoli, do you like pot roast or lasagna better? Marty loves my lasagna, but since you're the guest…"

"Oh of course we must have Marty's favorite," Kirkin said eagerly.

"Oh my god," Deeks groaned. "You're not going to make dinner for him! He's going back to prison-which he will probably finagle his way out of-and you are absolutely not to tell him anymore stories about me."

"But Maaarty, you were such a charming boy," Kirkin whined. "And I make a wonderful guest. I will bring my famous Death by Chocolate cake."

"I need another drink," Deeks sighed as Roberta and Kirkin started swapping dessert recipes.

When he made his way back to Kensi, he was significantly calmer, having turned Kirkin over to a couple of agents and consumed two glasses of champagne in quick succession.

"That took a while, what was your mom doing?" Kensi asked as he once again pulled her into his arms and started swaying to the music.

"You don't want to know," he sighed into her neck, then added after a moment, "But if she invites us to dinner in the near future, we can't make it."

"If you're referring Kirkin, she's already texted me. Oh, and he's bringing a cheesecake, assuming he gets out of prison in time," Kensi said, patting him on the shoulder as he groaned again. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from Kirkin if necessary."

"Best wife ever," he muttered.