A/N: Densimber Day 13. I went for the angsty version.

Deeks came into the kitchen, whistling cheerfully, hair still damp with sweat, dressed in shorts and a tank.

"Hey Baby, how was lunch with Kip?" Kensi asked from the kitchen table. He dropped a kiss on her lips before responding.

"Freaking amazing. I won two of three games," he said, adding, "Though Kip insists it was only one." They'd argued about that point, genially of course, the whole way back to Kip's car.

"Sounds about right."

"He's dating a new girl and it sounds like this time it might actually be serious," Deeks continued, filling a glass of water and drinking it in a few gulps.

"Isn't that what he said last time?" Kensi asked with a skeptical expression. "And the time before that."

"True." Deeks shrugged, not wanting to be too hard on his friend. "He's also planning on sending a bunch of limited edition Nikes." Kensi frowned, apparently missing the connection so he explained, "You know, for when the kids come. I told him we don't have ages or names yet, but he was adamant. We're getting a shipment of shoes that'll probably cost more than this house from Uncle Kip."

Deeks grinned, remembered Kip's excitement at the good news, and the chance to lavish ridiculous presents on their future kids.

"You told Kip that we're trying to adopt?" Kensi asked slowly. Something in her voice made Deeks pause to check her expression.

"Yeah. He asked how we were doing so I filled him in on everything."

"And it didn't occur to you to check with me first." Her tone was definitely edging on annoyed, maybe even angry now and he didn't fully understand why.

"I didn't realize I needed to, Kens," he said very carefully. "Why is this a problem?"

She stood, crossing her arms, expression incredulous.

"You know how I feel about telling people about this. About adopting. We agreed to wait to share any information until it was more certain," she said, shaking her head.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure we agreed to wait until our paperwork was accepted, which it was," Deeks pointed out, starting to get a little annoyed himself now. His good mood from the afternoon with Kip was quickly evaporating. "And, since the agency is currently looking for placements as we speak, I'd say it's pretty damn certain."

"No, it's not." Kensi chuckled humorously. "Anything could go wrong and stop the adoption in its tracks."

"Now you're just being superstitious." He rolled his eyes, annoyance taking over when he'd normally back down.

"I'm being realistic," Kensi retorted sharply. "Think of how many obstacles we've had to overcome to get to this point. How much heartbreak we've endured. Telling everyone just opens us up to more anguish if it falls through."

"Why can't you just let us be happy for one minute?" he asked softly.

"Because unlike you, I'm not living in a fairytale where all of our problems have miraculously disappeared." He started to object, but Kensi brushed past him, her fists clenched into fists. "Go ahead and tell Kip, tell whoever you want."

She grabbed her running shoes off the floor by the front door, heading towards the garage. Deeks watched her go, fighting back a dozen different retorts that he knew would only make things worse.

When she was out the door without a glance in his direction, he groaned, slouching against the counter.

"Great job, Marty," he muttered to himself.

Kensi came back a few hours later, startling Deeks from his thoughts. He'd been waiting on the couch for her and stood up in relief as Kensi slipped off her shoes. The time alone had given him more than enough time to dissect everything they said to each other.

"Hey," she murmured, brushing back a windswept piece of hair. She swayed uncomfortably, seeming considerably more subdued than she left.

He waited for Kensi to look in his direction, but she was determinedly looking at anywhere except him. Clearing his throat, he decided to take the first plunge.

"I'm sorry about what I said before and how I said it," he started. "You have a really good reason for the way you feel. I shouldn't have invalidated those feelings."

Kensi's head swiveled his way, her mouth open slightly in surprise. Like she hadn't expected him to apologize.

"Thank you." She crossed her arms, rubbing either elbow distractedly. "I shouldn't have attacked you the way I did either. When you told me about Kip, I reacted instinctively and said some things I didn't mean."

"Well, you weren't wrong. I do tend to look on the bright side. To a fault, some would say." He shrugged self-deprecatingly.

"That's not a bad thing," Kensi said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "It's one of the things I depend on."

"Even when I'm living in a fairytale?" he asked, falling short of the joking tone he'd been reaching for. Kensi pressed her lips together, glancing upwards. When she met his gaze again, her eyes were glossy with unshed tears.

"I didn't mean that either," she whispered. "I just get so scared some times."

Heart breaking for her, Deeks crossed over to Kensi, and gathered her against his chest. She didn't resist, pressing her face into his shoulder.

"We can't be afraid of everything, Kensi," Deeks said softly. "It's no way to live."

"I don't want to be, but I don't know how to stop. It just feels like such a huge thing to tell people that we're so close to adopting after everything."

"I get that." He pulled back and smoothed some hair back from her face. "I get it. But maybe we could ease into it and tell a few people at a time. You know, just so they are too shocked when we show up with three fully formed kids."

Kensi laughed wetly at that and nodded.

"I think that would be good."

"And I'll try not to let it slip to anyone else until I talk it over with you," he added.

"Thank you," Kensi whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "For always putting up with me and talking me through these things."

"Always." He kissed the side of her head. "Because I love you and you do the very same thing for me every day."