A/N: Set during episode 5x01, Ascension. I'm not sure this is the most angsty thing I've ever written, but I'm partial to writing about this storyline. Given the episode, it's also quite whumpy. Densimber Day 27. Enjoy!

People surround him, roughly transferring him to a bed. Deeks inhales sharply and he inadvertently clenches his teeth, resulting in a sharper spike of pain throughout his jaw and head amidst the constant agony. The noises and sound of people shouting around him are reduced to a faint buzz, then flare as loud as if someone is using a bullhorn.

Everything is pain.

He's aware of Kensi and Granger in the room, Sam beside him on another narrow bed.

A doctor demands he open his mouth, rough and matter-of-fact in his urgency, and Deeks refuses, clenching his jaw even tighter. He hits at the hands that try to restrain him, acting on instinct, fighting back now that he can.

He spits out another mouthful of blood. Everything smells and tastes of it. It makes his stomach heave.

"Back off, give him a minute," Sam says and they finally stop touching him.

Then suddenly Kensi's next to him, gripping his hand. His savior and distraction during Sidorov's endless torture. He wants her to never let go, and can barely stand her touch.

He inhales shallowly, teeth still clenched despite the overwhelming pain.

"Deeks, you have to listen to the doctor." He barely hears her plea, can't look at her, can't focus on anything beyond ensuring no one else hurts him.

For a second, he hears Sidorov's taunts in his head, and swears the man is here in the room with him. Glancing around wildly, Deeks catches Sam's eyes and sees the pain, the fear, but above all else, understanding.

It's just the two of them for a moment, recognizing the other's pain, the absolute horror of it all. He thinks he sees Sam nod, reassuring him, even as he struggles for breath.

Then someone grabs his arm, he feels a sharp jab, and no amount of struggling can keep him from slipping into darkness. He fights itthough. He fights to stay awake, to have some semblance of control, right until the last moment of consciousness.

"Tell me the truth, Detective. Who is Quinn working for?"

The drill whirs again, descending towards Deeks' mouth again and there's nothing he can do to stop it. Deeks flinches, even though there's nowhere to go. Sidorov has made sure of that. The brief reprieve was not nearly long enough, and it's almost worse as the metal bites into flesh and tooth again.

And he screams.

Deeks wakes in a hazy state of confusion, not sure what's real. His throat is raw from screaming and he can't breathe. He closes his eyes, Sidorov, Sam, Michelle…Kensi, all of it coming back in sharp fragments that make him shake.

When he opens his eyes again, he's aware enough to realize he's alone and in a hospital room.

Right, the emergency room. His hands quake, and he grabs onto the tiny tray in front of him in a desperate search for stability. He notices the IV in his right hand then, and briefly considers pulling it out. The thought of anything sharp right now makes his heart pound, threatens to send him back over the edge into the waking nightmare of his memories.

In desperation, Deeks feels for his face, for anything to ground him, to distract from those memories. His cheek is swollen; he follows it down to his jaw, hissing at the pain caused by the lightest of touches. His mouth still has the tang of blood. At least he isn't nearly drowning in it anymore, thanks to the cotton pads he feels jammed inside his cheeks.

Whatever they gave him must have worn off because everything hurts.

Something outside his door crashes, and he scrambles backwards, heartbeat instantly racing, the smell of motor oil in his nose, a drill whirring in his ear as the machines around him sound off in alarm.

Head falling back, Deeks gasps, each breath bringing a fresh wave of pain.

He has never felt so broken.