A/N: After the fluff of the first two days, I decided to go a bit more angsty with this one. Takes place in season 5.
Deeks had been off all day. It wasn't anything major, and probably not something most people would pick up on. Kensi did though. It was in the lack of talking, followed by nervous chatter when directly engaged. The slight flinching at electrical noises. The heavy, dark look to his eyes that spoke of long, restless nights worried her the most.
He made it through the day though, and she convinced herself that he would be ok. Deeks didn't like her coddling him, not when it came to the serious things anyway. So, she said nothing when he left as soon as possible with vague excuses about needing to pick up Monty from a neighbor.
She went home and tried to focus on the usual mindless distractions, but her mind kept wandering from Bianca and Nina, or whichever model was posing on the beach. Mid-way through the second episode, she gave up, and grabbed her shoes.
Another half hour later she was on Deeks' front stoop with a bag of take out and drinks, having dashed across the sidewalk to avoid getting caught in the heavy rain that had started. Deeks didn't answer when she knocked on the door, and a peek through the small crack between curtains and window confirmed a light was on. She wavered, not sure if she should continue knocking, or just leave.
It occurred to her that Deeks might not want to see her, like the last time, when he was first recovering from Sidorov's damage. She'd wormed her way in that time too, and Deeks seemed grateful in the end, but maybe he wouldn't feel the same now.
"Kensi?"
She jerked and turned at the sound of Deeks voice, just barely audible over the drumming rain. He stood a few yards away, illuminated by the glow of the porch light. His clothes and hair were plastered to his skin, like he hadn't even made an attempt to stay dry.
"Kensi, what are you doing here?" he asked, quickly averting his face.
"I was waiting for you," Kensi said, eyes roving over him and not liking what she found. His shoulders hunched as he edged past her, and unlocked the door, wordlessly gesturing inside.
When they got inside, he kicked off his shoes, leaving a trail of water behind him on the way to the kitchen. Kensi added that to her growing list of warning signs; at least his apartment looked recently cleaned and neat.
When she joined him in the kitchen, she found Deeks standing over the sink, a half-full glass of water in one hand.
"Why were you out in rain?" she asked.
"Yeah, I uh, just went for a run," he replied, swiping a handful of soaked hair off his face. "Didn't feel like coming back yet."
"Deeks, it's been pouring for over an hour."
He lifted one shoulder, setting the empty glass in the sink.
"Deeks—"
"Do you want anything? Water, beer? I could make coffee."
Kensi watched Deeks ramble, hands moving aimlessly as he spoke, and her concern spiked several notches. Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed the coffee pot, the glass clinking on the counter jarring in the quiet.
"I don't need anything to drink," Kensi said, a little desperately. Anything to get him to stop. He ignored her, measuring out a few spoons of coffee and grabbing a jug of water. "Deeks." Without thinking, she crossed the room, placing a stilling hand on his wrist.
He froze, body going rigid, even as she felt the finest of tremors running through his arm.
Hypervigilance, her mind supplied. She snatched her hand back, horrified by the thought that Deeks would react to her as a potential threat.
Messing with his hair again, Deeks settled against the counter. He pursed his lips, the saddest and most broken look in his eyes as finally let her see his face.
"Sorry," he whispered, his voice unusually soft and small.
"No, it's ok," Kensi insisted quickly. "It's my fault for surprising you."
He huffed a bitter laugh. "I'm probably not going to be very good company tonight."
"I didn't come so you could entertain me. I wanted to make sure you were ok." Deeks looked surprised by her admission, his mouth opening slightly as though he was about to speak, then closing again.
"Why don't you go take a shower, and then we can talk," Kensi suggested. "Or we can just watch TV. Whatever you want."
Deeks nodded after a moment, slowly making his way out of the room. Kensi watched him shuffle out, so at odds with the vibrant man she knew, and hoped she was doing the right thing.