A/N: A fic in which Sam attempts to corral the other unruly members of the team, with absolute terrible results. Densimber Day 27.
"You know, when I suggested a team building trip, this is not what I had in mind," Sam commented, standing over Deeks and Kensi, who were currently sunbathing on the deck side pool. The impressive "vacation house" Sam had scored for them creates a nice backdrop.
"Uh, Sam my man, you're kind of creating a shadow," Deeks replied without opening his eyes.
"This was an amazing idea," Kensi added. "Thanks for suggesting it." She smiled in his general direction.
Deeks still had his eyes closed, but he didn't miss Sam's annoyed sigh. "We're supposed to be connecting."
"Oh, we've been connecting," Deeks assured him, the innuendo heavy in his voice as he trailed his fingers across Kensi's shoulder. She actually giggled, wriggling closer to him.
"You know that's not what I meant," Sam growled. Deciding he wasn't going to get any more peace for the moment, Deeks finally sat up.
"And that connection is why I'm glad we all have separate suites," Nell said, walking out from the house in a loose and flowing dress and sun hat; Eric wasn't far behind.
Sam inhaled deeply, visibly working to control his temper. "Guys, this trip is supposed to be about bonding and self-reflection," he reminded them.
"Oh, I'm definitely reflecting," Callen promised from his lawn chair. He looked vaguely out of place in a garish Hawaii shirt (Deeks was 99% certain Callen had brought it solely to annoy Sam), jeans, and hat even wider than Nell's. "I'm reflecting on how much I'm enjoying this latte and croissant. You know, normally I'm not a latte kind of guy, but this one is the exception."
"I will hurt you," Sam promised gravely, jabbing a finger at Callen. Turning to point that same finger at each of them in turn, he sent them a disappointed look. "Listen, this is a great opportunity to reveal our weaknesses, as individuals and a group. We can become a stronger, more united team. You really want to waste that opportunity?"
"Ok, ok," Kensi sighed, tossing the book she'd been pretending to read to the side. "You've convinced us, Sam."
"Yeah, if only to stop the lectures," Deeks added.
"Oh yes, this is so much better than swimming, tanning, and eating our weight in gourmet pastries," Deeks said under his breath. Actually, he hadn't spoken that quietly, but Sam, who was several yards ahead of him, seemed to be pretending not to hear any criticism.
In true Sam nature, he'd instructed them all to dress for a hike, and meet him out front. He'd then wordless led them to a heavily wooded patch of ground near the house.
Despite her earlier protests, Kensi had predictably come prepared in full hiking gear, complete with provisions, and weapons. Eric and Nell had gone with a combination of clothes that seemed more appropriate for a scenic walk around the park than whatever Sam had planned. Once again, Deeks assumed this was their silent form of protest.
"I know. But let's just get it over with so Sam gets it out of his system," Kensi suggested, squeezing his hand. "Then we can spend some quality time together, baby."
"Ooh, we're dropping "babys" in public now." Grinning, Deeks leaned down to kiss her.
"Hey, stop goofing around!" Sam shouted back at them, his voice traveling through the leafy foliage. "We've got a five-mile hike, then team activities, before we set up camp for the night."
"Uh Sam, I didn't bring a sleeping bag. Or my pillow," Eric called out, picking his way around a patch of poison ivy.
"'We'll be connecting,' he said. 'It's a bonding experience.'," Nell said, managing a fair comparison of Sam's voice. She glared up from under her hood, raindrops soaking into the fabric.
It had started drizzling sometime around six, but Sam had insisted it would clear up. So, they'd pushed on, making it through another two miles before the drizzle increased to a steady downpour.
"I'm sorry, Nell. The forecast said nothing about rain," Sam apologized, having the good grace to look contrite as he pounded a stake into the soggy ground. Kensi, Deeks, and Callen were each working on one of the three other sides while Eric and Nell made sure their "provisions" stayed dry.
"This is good for your character," Sam continued. "We don't want to get too soft."
"Sam, I say this with full love, but shut up," Deeks said pleasantly. "I think after our multiple unsanctioned treks through foreign countries in less-than-ideal circumstances has given us more than enough character. Some might even say too much."
"Ok, before we say something we'll all regret, how about we stop to eat?" Kensi suggested.
"Kensi, we need to set up shelter before anything else."
"That's a good idea. What do we have, Nell?" Callen asked, ignoring Sam.
"Uh, granola bars, trail mix, beef jerky, pairs, water, and instant coffee," Nell rattled off.
"And I may have snuck a few Twix bars into my pack," Kensi added.
A few minutes later, everyone besides Sam had gathered on bits of damp log to enjoy their meager dinner. Once they'd broken into Kensi's chocolate stash, the mood lifted considerably, even though they were all still soggy and chilly.
"God bless you, Kensi," Eric said fervently around his candy bar.
"Now you better not tease me about my food habits anymore." Kensi poked Deeks in the side, and he nodded agreeably.
"I won't make fun of you for at least a month." Looking past Kensi's shoulder, he found Sam still stubbornly working at the tent. "Hey Sam, why don't you join us?"
"Yeah, you'll feel better if you eat something," Callen coaxed him.
Making a disgusted sound, Sam tossed down a handful of stakes, and wiped his damp hands on his jeans.
"Fine. Give me a damn candy bar," he grumbled, sitting next to Callen, and begrudgingly accepting a packet. He tore off the wrapper, taking a healthy bite. "Just so you know, I'm not taking any of you out on one of these ever again."
"And for that, we thank you," Deeks said happily.