A/N: It feels like I haven't updated in ages! Sorry for leaving you hanging guys, and with a cliffhanger nonetheless, but I had difficulty writing lately. Thank you so much for all your kind words, your enthusiasm and support! They do wonders for my insecurities and my mood when I'm stuck. :)

I also wanted to tell you guys that this story is going to be rated M soon! Don't get your hopes up, I didn't say right now...I just want to make sure that everybody gets the message before it actually happens. ;) I'll repeat it again a few times.

Onto the reading now! I believe I said something about drama? Oh yeah, definitely drama. ;P

Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or any of its characters. This is a work of fiction written for entertainment purposes, but the original characters and original storylines present in "My Paper Heart" are my own work.

"What… do you mean, what am I doing?" she stuttered with a hesitant, confused smile on her lips. When I didn't answer and kept glaring angrily, she finally understood.

"You kissed me back," she breathed out in disbelief, hurt filling her eyes.

"Of course I kissed you back. I've been in love with you for the past two years!" Despite my effort to keep my voice at bay, I couldn't help but shout and groan at her. "I'm the one who was supposed to say 'no' or stop you? Oh wait, I did!" I snarled dryly. "I can't believe you value me so little…"

"What are you talking about? You mean the world to me!"

"Oh really?" I laughed humorlessly. "Did you break up with Stefan before coming to see me? Did you ask him for some time to figure things out? Did you talk to him about your feelings?" I burned holes into her skull with livid eyes. Before she broke eye contact and looked ashamedly at the floor, I saw guilt in her gaze.

"That's what I thought…" I mumbled resentfully, feeling my heart clench tightly in my chest. "You didn't even believe for a second that this could work. How could you do this to me? To us!"

"If I didn't believe that our relationship could become more, do you really think that I would have told you any of this?!" she shot back defensively. "What do you think? That I didn't ask myself a thousand questions? That I didn't have any doubts about crossing this line? I told you that I spent the last two weeks losing sleep over-"

"Two weeks, Elena! Two!" I cut her off heatedly, disbelief and pain filling my voice. "I've been keeping my feelings to myself for fucking years!" I screamed, throwing my arms up in fury. "Do you think I didn't lose sleep over this? Do you think I didn't feel miserable, watching you in love with a man who put you through such horrible ordeals- while I stood right there next to you? It killed me so many times not to tell you that I was in love with you!" I felt as if my head was going to explode if I continued, but was overwhelmed by too many emotions to stop. "But you know what? I never said anything because you were too important to me. You're the only one person left on Earth who gets me, sees right through me, and loves me like only a parent is capable of! I value our friendship more than anything else in the world." I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair. "I never ever wanted to jeopardize it. I never wanted to put you in a situation where you would have to choose between me and Stefan. To risk our relationship being broken or damaged because of my feelings… and yet, after two freaking weeks, you come here and blow everything away." My voice sounded sad, hurt and tired, even to my own ears. I watched Elena's expression falter as she took a strong step towards me.

"I'm truly convinced that nothing can break or damage our friendship, Maya…" she said in a soft voice. "You don't put me in the position to choose; I do. And after that… overwhelming kiss we shared, I…" she trailed off, seeming positively shocked and lost in her own emotions.

"I don't know if you're just being naive or completely selfish," I said harshly, staring at her in disbelief. Her brows knitted in confusion.

"What?"

"Do you really think that I'm going to wait patiently for you to choose? Do you think I'm going to smile kindly while you slide your hand lovingly through Stefan's hair and kiss him?" I asked bitterly. "How can you possibly believe that I'm not going to be hurt in the process? That my heart is not going to be crushed every time I see you hesitating? I'm not Damon, Elena!" I shouted harshly.

"Wh… I…" she stuttered, her eyes wide with astonishment. "This has nothing to do with Damon! Why-"

"It has everything to do with Damon! Except, I never tried to seduce you… I never went after you and overwhelmed you with my love for you. But that doesn't matter, right? Because you keep drawing this out, Elena!"

"The relationship I have with Damon has nothing to do with ours!" she yelled in an offended tone. "I never went after Damon! But I'm here with you, so that must count for something, right?" She tensed, a glint of hurt in her watery eyes.

"That counts for nothing… because there isn't even a choice to make." My voice was quiet and cold.

"You don't know that!" she cried, trying to contain a sob.

"Of course, I know! It's always going to be Stefan… it has always been Stefan!" I screamed, my voice laced with rage and despair. "I'm not going to be another Damon, Elena! I will not lay dying on the side of the road, crushed by your tremendous love for Stefan!" I felt my own eyes watering as my voice started to break.

"I… I'm sorry," she whispered, her words strangled with hurt. "I shouldn't… I shouldn't have come here… it was a mistake." Tears were now streaming down her cheeks.

"You're right. You shouldn't have…" I could feel my heart shattering curtly inside my chest. I knew I should have said something to calm us both down. I knew I should have smoothed my tone toward her and talk about this more wisely. And I knew I should have stopped her before she passed my door, but my heart was into a million pieces and they were scattered all over the place.

When she opened the door, I closed my eyes tightly, imploring all of what just happened to have been a nightmare. A burning tear rolled down my cheek. When she slammed the door behind her, the sound resonated like a heavy lead weight that had collapsed on our friendship.

During the two days that followed, Elena didn't try to contact me. And it was a good thing, considering that I spent every single moment of those two days pacing, rotating between feeling miserable and missing her like crazy, and being furious to the point of wanting to break everything in my house. The idea of going back to school and seeing her made me want to run away, to leave this town so I never had to step a foot in this school again.
The distressed text messages and voice mails she finally left on my phone Sunday night did nothing to help.

After changing my mind a million times about whether to go to school or not, I ultimately dragged my sorry ass to class on Monday morning. Elena greeted me shyly, her eyes shining with both despair and hope at once. I couldn't look at her, and as much as I tried to greet her back, half my words stuck in my throat. The other half came out cold. Caroline and Bonnie had forgotten to be stupid, and immediately knew that something serious was going on between Elena and me. Fortunately for me, and probably for her, neither of them tried to ask anything in front of us both.

The day's events pretty much reflected the rest of the entire week. Elena grasped any opportunity she had to try to talk, apologize or even plead-breaking my heart in the process every time her eyes filled with tears. As much as I wanted to pretend that our huge fight was inconsequential, and to hug her tightly to ease her out of her distress, I just couldn't. Every time I had the impulse to talk to her, to forgive her and forget, vivid memories of what had happened that particular afternoon flashed through my mind; my rage building all over again.

Every single day felt like my own personal hell, and I was pretty sure it was the same for Elena- though the thought didn't manage to get me past my anger.

The tugging and discomfort that Caroline and Bonnie felt because of my issue with Elena wasn't helping either. They were desperately trying to make us spill about what had transpired, but what was I supposed to say… that Elena and I kissed? Bonnie would totally freak out. She was only just beginning to get used to the idea of me being gay-but her two best friends making out together? She was definitely not there yet.
So what then? Should I have told them that Elena and I had feelings for each other? Caroline would immediately take Stefan's side and would cry foul, calling it cheating. Guilt would certainly not make the situation any better… but the main reason why I was keeping my mouth shut was the fact that it wasn't my place to say anything about it. I was the gay and single one. Elena was the one with everything to lose.

Seeing Stefan show up on my doorstep, exactly five days after Elena had dropped her bomb on me, took the week to a whole new level of doom and gloom.
I expected him to pin me against a wall or discharge a furious diatribe at me. It took me a moment to realize that he was actually trying to fix the problem between his girlfriend and I, despite the fact that he clearly had no idea what the real crisis was about. While I listened to him tell me how depressed and restless Elena was, and that he was sure he could do something to help the "inseparable twins" to be whole again, I felt a violent nausea squeeze my stomach.

When Elena confessed her feelings for me and kissed me a few days earlier, Stefan's feelings had never crossed my mind, not even for a second. The only reason I had finally mentioned him was to point out the obvious- that Elena would never leave him. I knew deep down, that if I had believed even for a moment that I had a chance against him, I would have seized the opportunity without thinking twice.

But I also knew Stefan didn't deserve that. He always had been a good friend to me. And yet, if Elena decided to be with me, knowing it would crush him to death, I would go for it. If I had to opt for being his friend or hers, or even if I could only save one of them, I would always choose Elena. That was how much I loved her. So standing in front of him trying to be a good friend and a good boyfriend? It made me feel disgusted with myself.
After I managed to convince him to let it go with all the kindness I could manage despite my inner turmoil, I avoided him at all cost, fully aware that I would self-combust with shame and guilt if I had to look at him in the eye and lie to him again.

Over the week, the elephant in the room had become so gigantic that none of us were able to go through the motions of small talk anymore. But as much as it killed me to see Caroline and Bonnie torn between the two of us- and to see Stefan helplessly trying to ease the tension, the matter concerned Elena and myself only.

I was in such a bad place that I even came to think that I would now enjoy Katherine's company. She obviously wouldn't give a damn about the whole drama- or would at least take my mind out of it efficiently. For once, she was the least of my problems… but since she had been gone for almost a month now, her decision to skip town for "a week or two" had apparently turned into "never coming back."

Fortunately for me, the disinterest- or tact- Damon demonstrated about the rift in our little gang helped me to remain sane as much as my secret sessions with Bonnie did. These things kept me from brewing over the fact that the only person I wanted to call, text, or hug, the only one able to calm me down and soothe me, was the very same person I was incredibly mad at. The thing I was the most afraid of, apart from losing her completely, was telling Elena undeserved and hurtful words that I would without doubt deeply regret later.