A/N: Okay, are you ready? Because the shit is seriously about to hit the fan! Buckle up, guys. :P
Thanks to each and every one of you that has favorited, followed and especially reviewed! It really does wonders for my motivation, you have no idea. :)
P.S. There's a little surprise waiting for you on my Tumblr! ;D (The link is on my profile page)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or any of its characters. This is a work of fiction written for entertainment purposes, but the original characters and original storylines present in "My Paper Heart" are my own work.
When I woke up, I felt perky, my body relieved of all kinds of tension. Even the prospect of meeting Elena in the afternoon to sort out our issues didn't put a cloud over my good mood. I was convinced that everything was going to work out somehow.
I had just finished drying my hair when I heard my phone buzzing on the dresser. I came out of the bathroom, slid a black top on and went to grab my phone. There was a text from Damon flashing on the screen.
"Someone's been nosy about last night. Come to the boarding house ASAP so we can synchronize our watches."
My optimism faltered for a second, knowing that the "someone" was probably Katherine. I blocked every memory about last night from my mind and checked the clock. I was supposed to meet Bonnie in half an hour for one of our secret sessions and have lunch with her afterwards before I joined Elena for a talk. I could make it work if I borrowed the car sleeping in the garage to go to the mansion and managed to make Damon get right to the point. After all these years, my uncle never officially allowed me to drive his sedan aside from short trips for battery maintenance, probably only because I never really asked him if I could. But since I saw him and his wife only once a year during the summer, I was sure he wouldn't mind me using it once in a while.
I went downstairs and rummaged through a few drawers before finding the car keys. After grabbing my bag, I went out and opened the garage door.
"Hey you! Glad to see you're still alive!" I heard someone say from behind me. I turned around to see a cheerful Caroline but didn't miss the accusing glint in her eyes.
"Hi. What are you doing here? You're an early bird for a Saturday," I teased, knowing how much she loved her lazy mornings.
"I'm going to see Matt at the Grill," she dodged quickly. "Where were you yesterday?" She was obviously trying not to sound too demanding, but I saw right through her. I kept myself from rolling my eyes, annoyed that everybody seemed to think they had their say about my comings and goings. It wouldn't be fair to snap at Caroline though, since I had turned off my phone the entire day before, wanting to cut myself off from the world for a while. They had no idea where I was or even if I was okay, and I wasn't feeling like a very good friend right now. That very reason made me comply and answer her question.
"I went on a road trip with Damon."
"What? Why would you want to spend an entire day stuck in a car with him?" She frowned, genuinely confused. "And since when do you ditch school?" The mere mention caused a grin to appear on my lips before I could conceal it. "Uh oh...what did you two do?" she asked, suddenly suspicious. I laughed and gave her a look.
"Nothing, Caroline." I crossed my arms over my chest. "Actually...that's not exactly true. I helped rob a hospital so you could feed."
"Oh! Well, thank you..." she mumbled in a childish tone, feeling a bit guilty.
"You're welcome." I was about to open the car door, pleased that I had managed to end this conversation before her nosy self took over when she spoke again.
"So, that's all you did?"
A flash of what had happened last night in the club crossed my mind, and I bit my lip to stop the goofy smile that would give her way too much information. I failed miserably.
"Ooh, I know that smile."
"What? What smile?"
"That happy, goofy smile that I've never gotten to see on your face! Spill your guts, lady! What did you do last night?!" She stomped toward me comically and stopped right in front of me, intense curiosity burning in her eyes.
"We just went dancing...it was fun. And I needed it, that's all," I answered awkwardly, avoiding her gaze at all cost.
"Oh my god..." She looked like she had an epiphany, and I knew from experience that it was never good when it came to Caroline. "What's her name?" she squeaked, clapping her hands together excitedly.
"What?" How could she be so insightful? It was beyond irritating. "There is no she, Caroline," I stated sternly. She froze for a second and suddenly slammed her hands on my shoulders.
"Don't tell me that Damon was the one you slept with. You're gay, Maya, for God's sake!"
"I know that," I shot back dryly, removing her hands from my shoulders. "And I didn't sleep with anyone."
"Sure you did. I knew I recognized that smile! Maya slept with someone..." she sing-songed, mimicking a children's tune and bouncing up and down playfully. I couldn't help but burst out laughing at her antics.
"I'm going to be late; I need to go. Bye Caroline." I gave her a fake offended look before snaking quickly into the car. Before I could close the door, she pointed a chiding finger at me.
"Fine. But this is not over! You're going to tell me all about it, whether you want to or not..." She flashed me a cheeky grin before turning around to leave. I shook my head in amused disbelief and ignited the engine.
When I pulled into the mansion driveway and stepped out of my uncle's car, I immediately felt that something was wrong. There were sounds of furniture being knocked over coming from the inside of the house, and something that sounded like fabric ripping. I walked toward the front door warily. When I heard a loud thud and Damon's muffled voice, I ran to throw the door open.
"Dam—" My voice died in my throat before I could call his name, the scene happening before my eyes striking me mute. He was pushed up against the hallway wall, his hands pinned above his head by Katherine's grip. She was devouring his mouth with her lips and teeth, crushing his body with hers.
I felt a pang of hurt inside my chest. While I was trying to wrap my mind around what was happening and why, another feeling slowly crept up on me. When I became vaguely aware of what that feeling was, I refused to acknowledge it and pushed it quickly to the back of my mind. That was when it hit me. This little set-up was obviously payback for last night.
She finally tore her mouth from his and glared directly at me with cold and calculating eyes. With a cruel smirk on her lips, she pushed him to the side like he was nothing more than a puppet, her gaze locked on mine. My eyes dropped to the floor swiftly before I turned around and walked away from the house at a brisk pace. I heard Damon call my name, but I couldn't stop. I needed to get the hell out of here before she could see any kind of emotion on my face; I was not going to give her that satisfaction. I rushed inside the car and closed the door.
"Maya!" he called out again, his hands now flat on my car window. I ignored him and took off like a shot.
I realized I wasn't paying attention to the road when I heard a crack coming from the steering wheel. My knuckles had turned white from clenching it too hard. I stopped at the traffic light and cautiously released my grip to run my hands over my face. I couldn't believe that I had thought I could pretend nothing had happened last night with Katherine. I couldn't believe that I had apparently thought she would treat me differently, or at least, behave like a decent being. What was I thinking…that she was what? My...friend? I snorted dryly at my own stupidity. But most of all, I couldn't believe that I felt jealous. What the hell was wrong with me? I furiously wiped my eyes before water could trickle down in tears.
I drove as fast as I could to Bonnie's house and sighed heavily when I finally pulled over. Grabbing my bag from the passenger seat, I stepped out of the car. I barely had time to close the door behind me that Damon was standing right in front of me. My jaw dropped open.
"You sped all the way from the boarding house in broad daylight? Have you lost your mind? Someone could've seen you!"
"Well, you didn't exactly wait for me." His comment was what he would have usually said to joke around, but there was no trace of humor on his face. I shot him a sharp side-glance and started walking toward the house.
"Wait, Maya!" He rushed to place himself in my way and brought his hands up to stop me. "I'm sorry. She turned up out of the blue! Hell, I didn't even know what the point of her little act was until you showed up at the mansion," he said hurriedly, in one fluid breath.
"Wait...what?" I was beyond confused. He was acting like he didn't know anything about the text and the talk we were supposed to have. "You texted me to tell me to come by..."
"Huh?"
"You said that someone has been nosy about last night and that we needed to talk!"
"I never sent—" He abruptly stopped talking to growl instead. "That bitch! She distracted me so she could steal my phone and text you into a trap! I'm going to kill her..." I flattened a hand against his chest when he passed me to stop him from being a complete idiot.
"She's not worth it," I murmured, looking at him intensely. I removed my hand from his shirt and started to walk towards Bonnie's house again when he grabbed my arm.
"I'm sorry, Maya. I swear I didn't know what she was up to. I didn't agree to that kiss. You know that she and I are ancient history." I turned around and stared at him, completely puzzled.
"I know that. What...why would you even need to tell me that?"
"I just wanted you to know that I'm not encroaching on what the two of you have together. I wouldn't do that to you. She's all yours."
"Damon! What the hell are you talking about?" I shouted, offended.
"You think I didn't notice how upset you are? Not to mention that you obviously cried on your way here..." he said softly, raising a hand to brush the back of his finger over my cheekbone. I moved my head back a little and crossed my arms stubbornly over my chest.
"I didn't cry."
"I know you like her."
"Ugh!" I threw my arms down out of frustration, and turned quickly on my heels to run away from him. I had barely taken a step when two strong hands descended on my shoulders. Before I knew it, he made me spin around to face him.
"I'm not upset because I like her, Damon!" I shouted earnestly. "Not the way you're implying anyway. I'm angry because I obviously started to believe at some point that...I don't know...that she had dropped the bitchy psychotic act with me. And yet, out of possessiveness or jealousy for all I care...because she didn't have her way with me, she just...hatched one of her devilish schemes for the sole purpose of hurting me! And guess what? It worked!" I looked at the ground and shook my head, disappointed and disgusted with myself. "I'm not mad at you for anything...I'm furious at her because she manipulated you to affect me." I reached up to wrap a hand around his arm still resting on my shoulder, and looked up at him. "I guess she just wanted me to know what she's capable of, aiming for making me jealous. A kind of return-to-sender, whether it was because she kissed someone else, because you kissed someone else, or because she kissed you considering your history. I'm also pretty sure she knew that if I wasn't interested in her enough to feel that hint of jealousy, friendship would do the trick. She knew that I would not stand her using you like you were at her disposal, completely disregarding the feelings you had for her once."
"Hey...don't worry about me. I'm fine. She can't play with my feelings anymore. I've been over that bitch and her little games for a long time now." He removed his arm from my shoulder to curl his finger under my chin and take a good look at my face. "I'm more worried about you. You keep saying otherwise, but I think you grew to like her. I know she's affecting you." I felt my eyes prickle at his words, tears slowly welling up in them.
"How stupid can a girl be?" I asked in despair, and he laughed softly. He opened his arms and engulfed me in a tight hug.
"You're not stupid. You just have a soft spot for broken people. I would know..." he joked in a soothing tone. "Maybe because you're a bit broken yourself."
"That definitely does not make me feel better, Damon. You really suck at this pep-talk thing," I said, actually feeling a little better. He laughed for real this time and let go of me.
"Go see Bonnie now. She's going to help you take your mind off this mess. We'll talk about it later if you want. Once you've cooled down."
"I never want to talk about Katherine again," I stated sternly. "But thanks for the crappy pep-talk..." I flashed him a cheeky smile and finally walked toward Bonnie's front door.
After collecting everything she needed for our secret session, we went directly to our favorite spot in the woods.
The training she had planned for me had been going on for twenty minutes already, but instead of clearing my head, it was only making things worse.
"I can't!" I finally shouted in irritation.
"Of course you can, Maya. We've done this before. All you have to do is to put some effort into it," she chided me gently.
"Easier said than done! It hurts too much." I raised my index and middle fingers to my temples, massaging them sulkily.
"I know. But remember what we practiced...you need to focus and take deep breaths to ease the pain away."
"I can't, Bonnie! I just can't! I have too much on my mind right now, and I'm—" I huffed before finishing my sentence and hammered my heels into the loose soil out of frustration.
"You're scared you won't be able to stop the pain and that you'll collapse in fever..." she finished for me quietly. I wrapped my arms around my folded legs and buried my chin between my knees.
"Yes."
"Is it about Elena? Or Katherine?" she asked knowingly.
"Both," I murmured, staring at the ground.
"Do you want to finally tell me what's going on between you and Elena?" I could hear the hope in her voice, but I stayed silent. "You don't want to talk about what's on your mind at all, do you?"
I shook my head weakly. She sighed and wriggled on the ground to sit right in front of me.
"Fine...here's what we're going to do then. You're going to think about every emotion you're feeling right now, and we're going to change them into something else. One by one. In other words, we're going to channel them to increase your powers." I looked up to catch her eyes and frowned deeply.
"I'm not sure that's going to work. Or if it's even a good idea."
"We talked about this. And you agreed to find out what's hiding behind your headaches and your...unusual eyes."
"I know. But what if I turn into a creepy monster?" I asked, my trembling voice reflecting the terror the mere thought made me feel.
"I'm sure you won't," she reassured me in a soothing tone. "But if something happens, I'll make sure to keep us both safe." She raised a hand to squeeze mine for encouragement and a symbol of trust. I hesitated for a long moment before I finally realized that I was stalling the inevitable. It would happen whether I wanted it or not. I nodded my head slightly and she looked proud of me for a second before becoming serious and poised.
"Okay. I'm going to guide you through the way I used to handle my own powers, alright?"
"Okay." I took a deep breath to brace myself.
"Close your eyes and picture the place you like the most."
"We're at the place I like the most."
"Be serious for a second!" she shot, slapping my knee in fake annoyance.
"But I am! I always loved the woods!" It was true. I couldn't think of a better place. The woods always had a powerful and calming effect on me.
"Fine...then close your eyes and picture the woods," she said reluctantly.
"Done."
"Use your hearing. Listen to the leaves." I did what I was told. "Now, think about Katherine." My jaw immediately clenched at her name, my arms tightening their grip around my legs.
"You feel angry, right? Then aim it to the leaves. You're angry at the leaves!" I let her voice guide me and channeled my anger toward the leaves. The rustle they were making came to me so loudly and so precisely that it caused me to wobble. I felt Bonnie grabbing my arm firmly.
"It's okay, I'm here. Do you feel my hand on your arm? Use your frustration, or whatever you're feeling, and focus it on the touch. Do you feel the warmth coming from it?" I was feeling more than just the warmth. Channeling my feelings was significantly increasing my abilities. I could feel every irregularity of her fingertips. The creases in her palm. The pulse beating between her thumb and her forefinger.
It was so vivid that I felt dizzy, a dull pain slowly creeping up my neck. I clung to her arm and dug my fingers into her skin.
"Bonnie," I murmured between labored breaths.
"It's fine. Don't be scared. You're going to be okay." My whole body tensed and I winced in pain.
"Don't let the pain win! Take deep, slow breaths. Do you smell the moss? The soil and the bark? You love the woods...you love those scents." I focused on her soothing voice and took deep breaths, letting the aura of my surroundings and her constant litany swing me into a numb trance. Slowly, gradually, the pain stepped back, only to be replaced by a bright overwhelming feeling. I felt like I was floating on air.
"Bonnie. It's working." My voice came out calm and smooth, mirroring my inner peace.
"What?"
"It's working."
"You don't feel pain anymore?" she asked again, her tone laced with hope and doubt.
"No. I feel...amazing."
"Really? What happened? What are you feeling exactly?" Her questions were rushed, slightly worried.
"I feel like I want to run."
"You want to run?" she repeated, and I could hear her confusion.
"Yes. I want to run like crazy around the woods," I laughed, exhilarated.
"Well...then run. But don't go too far," she warned softly. I opened my eyes and she took a sharp intake of breath, flinching in surprise. I stood up quickly and looked at the woods with longing and excitement.
"Maya, are you sure you're okay?" If I had paid attention, I would have heard the suspicion in her voice, but the call of the forest was too strong, eclipsing everything else.
"Yes," I heard myself answering, before taking off my shoes absentmindedly. I started to run and the sensation of the soil under my feet was incredible.
"Maya? Maya!" Bonnie called out from behind, but I didn't answer. Instead, I sped up right toward a tree, and at the last second, put my foot on the trunk to jump between the high branches. I paused for a second, crouching on a solid branch, and observed the leaves and multiple branches that were suddenly forming a path just for me. I straightened myself up and gained momentum.
"Maya! Maya, please stop...come back! Maya!" Bonnie yelled, but her voice was just a faint murmur in the back of my head. Running, sliding and jumping from tree to tree was too empowering. Something was awakening inside me—something that I had no control over. But I didn't want to control it. I was too drunk with bliss to care.