Author's Note – A.K.A. "How Did We Get Here?"

Yo, what's up, my fellow crossover maniacs? It's ya boy, Hopeless Author, back at it again with another chapter of Shirou Emiya Makes Questionable Life Choices in the DC Universe!

So, let's do a quick recap:

Shirou was having a more or less decent day. Then, BOOM, Bronze Tiger shows up with a "surprise package" all tied up and gagged. Plot twist: the package is Cassandra Sandsmark. Extra plot twist: Wonder Woman arrives like a nightmare DLC for Shirou.

And now we have Diana spinning her lasso like a final boss in Mortal Kombat, ready to deliver justice with the same level of authority as Batman when he finds out someone's using guns in Gotham.

Let's be real: Shirou messed up, and now he has to convince the actual Amazon Princess that he's not the villain of this story. Good luck, champ.

Oh, but before we start… a little commercial break, because the multiverse isn't going to break itself:

If this chapter didn't have enough magic and chaos for you, get ready, because up next is another of my fanfiction fever dreams—"Ravenclaw's Missing Sword"!
Shirou strolling through Hogwarts with his own version of Excalibur, while wizards are torn between asking for his autograph or hexing him. Did the Sorting Hat really put him in the right house? Will Snape survive a Shirou who's way too inclined to solve problems with swords? There's only one way to find out!

Alright, now enjoy the chapter, and remember:
If Wonder Woman shows up at your house with her magic lasso and asks if you ate the last slice of pizza… don't lie. You won't survive.

This fanfiction was created by me, Hopeless Author, and draws inspiration from the worlds of the DC Universe and Fate/stay night. All rights to the original characters, concepts, and universes belong to their respective creators and owners.

Suddenly, a faint sound in the distance—barely perceptible—interrupted his thoughts.

Shirou was ready. His senses sharpened in an instant.

"Tatsu…" he murmured, extending his hands forward. In a blink, Kanshō and Bakuya materialized.

"Always so dramatic, Shirou," Tatsu remarked with a wry smile, unsheathing Soultaker just as swiftly.

"Oh, come on, cousin. You exaggerate when you say I'm dramatic," the redhead retorted, not taking his eyes off his surroundings. "I'm just being cautious."

"Well, if we're about to face whatever's coming…" Tatsu's expression grew more serious as she adjusted her combat stance. "At the very least, you could admit you enjoy making entrances like this."

Shirou smiled but didn't lower his guard.

"Maybe a little."

The tension in the air thickened, and for a moment, everything fell silent. The wind paused in an eerie stillness before picking up with renewed force. Then, a voice rose from the darkness.

"I hate to interrupt such a touching moment, but there's a rather bothersome matter that requires the immediate presence of my idiotic disciple… who, by the way, doesn't have the right to refuse."

The tone was unmistakable.

"Sensei!" The red-haired teenager felt an invisible weight press down on him, his mind processing the situation instantly.

"Save the formalities for later, Shirou. For now, consider yourself relieved of your current mission."

He hadn't seen her in three years, yet her presence still weighed heavily on him. Perhaps because he still felt indebted for everything she had taught him.

"Now?" he thought, suppressing the frustration threatening to surface. He dematerialized his swords, though not his crimson attire—after all, she had taught him never to lower his guard, not even in front of allies.

"Now, my unworthy disciple!" the woman declared with a sigh of disappointment.

Shirou finally grasped the situation and shifted to a more relaxed stance.

"I understand," he said respectfully, though the surprise hadn't fully faded. "To what do I owe the honor of your presence, Lady Shiva?"

The assassin regarded him with her usual stoic expression before letting out a brief sigh and stepping toward the cousins.

"Shirou…" Tatsu murmured hesitantly, searching for the right words.

But the redhead ignored her, his focus entirely on his master.

"I'm afraid things aren't so simple this time…" The woman tilted her head slightly, as if evaluating him with interest. "I think, for the first time in a long while, the old man actually has a legitimate reason for being so insufferable these past few months."

Shirou frowned.

"Grandfather has exempted me from my mission… That's impossible!" His eyes widened slightly, but he quickly lifted his gaze with determination. "Master, do you know the real reason?"

Shiva offered a faint, almost imperceptible smirk.

"I don't know," she replied calmly. "But it's the least you can expect from someone who has lived for over five hundred years. Senility is a possibility… or perhaps it's simply a test, as his heir. And for that, he seems to think you need to interact with people your age who share your condition."

To Shirou, that was unexpected… but knowing the Old Man of the Mountain, it wasn't impossible either. After all, he was the reason Shirou had chosen to walk the path of a hero once more, even in this new life.

"Again… this whole heir business," he muttered to himself.

Tatsu, who had been watching the exchange with growing suspicion, could no longer contain herself.

"What the hell!?" she burst out, stepping forward and pointing an accusatory finger. "What kind of twisted scheme has Hassan-i-Sabbah dragged you into, Shirou? Lady Shiva is part of the League of Shadows! Do you even realize that her favorite pastime is hunting down the world's greatest fighters and killing them with her bare hands?!"

"Oh, come on… do you hear yourself? Now who's the dramatic one?" Shirou shot back, unfazed, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Relax, cousin, it's not like she's here to kill us."

"Seriously, Shirou?" Tatsu couldn't believe it. "Do you even realize who you're dealing with?"

Shirou shook his head, remaining calm… though his discomfort was evident.

"It's not what you think, Tatsu. I'm not working for the League of Assassins."

Shiva let out a quiet chuckle, crossing her arms as she observed him with interest.

"Technically, that's true," she conceded, her tone almost amused. "Although, right now, there's more than one faction within the League of Assassins with conflicting interests. That's why the League of Shadows has chosen to remain a spectator… waiting for the right moment to act."

A knot tightened in Shirou's stomach.

"And what does that mean?" he asked, tense.

"It means that three Lazarus Pits have been exploited in the past six months," Shiva said indifferently. "Unknown groups have been playing with the power of resurrection… and there are too many pieces in motion to ignore it. Investigations are ongoing, but so far, it's a dead end."

Shirou narrowed his eyes.

"So this is about security?" he asked, uneasy. "Does the old man not trust me?"

Shiva smirked slightly.

"You're wrong. It's not a matter of trust." She turned slightly, motioning with her head toward the shadows. "It's just that someone has been following you since your little spectacle in Washington a year ago. And judging by the way they speak… I'd say they know you."

From the darkness, a figure slowly emerged. He wore a combat suit with tiger patterns, his stance firm and his presence imposing. Even Tatsu, who had remained skeptical until now, seemed surprised upon recognizing him.

"No way..." she whispered, her eyes widening.

The man stopped a few steps away from Shirou, observing him with an unreadable expression. Finally, he spoke in a deep, firm voice.

"Bronze Tiger," he introduced himself with a slight nod.

Shirou looked at him seriously. He still carried the memories of his personal teachings during his stay in Qurac two years ago—especially after how things had ended between them following the sacred sword incident in the desert.

"I wasn't expecting to see you again, Master Turner," he admitted, inclining his head slightly. "I thought you had left all of this behind."

The man let out a sigh, crossing his arms.

"It's good to see you too, Shirou."

"Likewise."

Tatsu noticed a certain unease in her cousin's cold response, but before she could ask, the dark-haired man continued.

"As you are now, I can understand why you'd think that. But everything comes with a price, Shirou. I can only pray that you never forget that only through God's grace can we be saved from eternal damnation... for all the blood we have shed. Just like that light you showed me in the midst of that massacre." His eyes gleamed faintly at the memory of that sword, but his expression soon darkened. "And I hope you never have to pay that price."

Shirou frowned.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I may no longer be under the League of Assassins' influence… but I am still paying for the consequences of my actions. However, I haven't forgotten the code I tried to teach you."

Shirou held his gaze without responding.

"Anyway..." Bronze Tiger turned his head slightly. "I didn't come alone. I brought a rather troublesome delivery. I hope you like it because I'm running out of time before that damned White Queen finds out about this meeting."

With a single motion, he dropped a bag in front of them.

Shirou and Tatsu watched in shock as the figure of a young blonde girl appeared on the ground, tied up and gagged, struggling to free herself.

The disbelief in the girl's eyes upon seeing Shirou was so intense that he felt a pang of guilt, already imagining where this was headed.

Tatsu, who was already at the edge of her patience, finally exploded.

"Oh my God, Shirou!" she shouted, pointing at him furiously. "Did you just kidnap Cassandra Sandsmark!?"

Shirou let out a deep sigh, running a hand down his face.

"This day just keeps getting worse..."

As if fate had taken that as a challenge, a loud crash echoed through the place.

Before anyone could react, a golden lasso shot forward like lightning, wrapping around Bronze Tiger's arm with relentless precision.

"Enough!"

The firm, majestic voice resounded through the air like thunder.

Everyone turned their heads, and there she was.

Diana of Themyscira.

Draped in her gleaming armor, the mantle of her cape billowing in the wind, Wonder Woman surveyed the scene with severity, her gaze shifting from Bronze Tiger to Shirou and then to Cassandra, still bound on the ground. Her lips pressed into a firm line of absolute disapproval.

"I demand that you release my protégé immediately."

Bronze Tiger didn't even try to struggle against the lasso. He knew its power far too well.

Shirou, on the other hand, felt a chill run down his spine. It wasn't fear, exactly... but it wasn't peace either.

Diana began twirling her lasso in wide circles, ready to act if anyone dared defy her.

"Have you forgotten honor? Justice? Or have the shadows of this world consumed your hearts to the point of resorting to the vile act of kidnapping?"

Her gaze locked onto Shirou with particular intensity.

"And you... young man. Aren't you the one Cassie has spoken so much about? The one who claims to fight for good yet allows acts like this to happen before his very eyes?"

Tatsu, still trying to process what was happening, could only stare at her cousin in disbelief.

Shirou sighed again.

"This day definitely couldn't get any worse..."

Outro – A.K.A. "This Multiverse Ain't Slowing Down"

And that's a wrap on another episode of Shirou and His Absolutely Terrible Luck™! Special thanks to the Justice League for not showing up with backup… yet.

What's next? Well, if you thought Shirou had it rough with Diana, just wait until the rest of the DC pantheon finds out.
Bat-shadow sniffing around for trouble?
Maybe Zatanna trying to figure out whether Shirou is using magic or just speedrunning life?
Who knows.

Also, don't forget to check out "Ravenclaw's Missing Sword", where Shirou continues committing crimes against magical logic while trying to survive Hogwarts' hallways.

See you in the next chapter! And remember:

Never accept magical artifacts from mysterious old men. Always double-check for magical traps. And if you ever hear a distant "NANI?"… run.

See you in the multiverse!