Chapter 20: What I Can Do
In the end, Kuroko wasn't sure he should be surprised that Kagami won against Kiyoshi. Kagami was powerful in his own right, but Kuroko could tell that Kiyoshi wasn't playing at his full strength.
It also didn't help that he was wearing indoor shoes instead of sneakers.
And so, Kuroko went home after practice that night with the awareness that something was simply just…wrong.
Was this what losing felt like to the others as well? Kuroko didn't know how to ask, especially as he laid in his bed that night, curled onto his side and Nigou lying next to him.
In the end, he didn't even need to ask the question. He could feel the brush of sakura petals in his mind just a second before his cell phone rang. Without even looking at the number, Kuroko answered.
"Hey, Tetsu-kun," Momoi greeted him, her voice more subdued than usual.
"Momoi-san…" Kuroko whispered. His voice was hoarse and he didn't even recognize it himself.
"I'm here too, Kurokocchi," Kise added. He was quiet, in that way he typically was when everything became too much for Murasakibara. "We felt your bond react, so we decided to call since we're holding a sleepover ."
"I invited Midorin too, but he refused," Momoi stated, a pout in her still soft voice. "He said it was improper for us to be having sleepovers at our age. I think he just wants to practice with Takao-chan and not tell us."
"There, there, Momocchi," Kise reassured and Kuroko heard him kiss her cheek. "Midorimacchi is better than Aominecchi so you don't have to worry."
Kuroko could practically feel the weight that had been pressing down on him lighten as he listened to the two of them talk. It was like a blanket had been put around him and he was enveloped in a sense of peace that he could only feel with them and the rest of their bonds. And for a brief moment, he wished that they were beside him, like a…like…
"What if this is as far as I can go?" Kuroko whispered at last, cutting off the light-hearted conversation ruthlessly. "What if Akashi-kun was wrong?"
Silence followed his words for several moments and Kuroko almost worried they hung up on him, when Kise spoke again.
"Kurokocchi. Were you wrong about me?"
"No." The reply was instant and unyielding.
"And is Akashicchi ever wrong?"
"Ping pong! I know this one! No!"
"That's right, Momocchi."
Kuroko felt his throat close up at their words, unwilling to escape.
"This is not as far as you can go, Tetsu-kun. If I can predict anything about you, it's that," Momoi smiled. Her sakura blossoms flew gently towards him in his mind, their petals the kisses she could not give him physically in that moment.
Kuroko couldn't thank them, could barely even breathe. All he could do was ask a single question.
"Stay with me?"
The three of them fell asleep that night with their phones all on, connecting them so that it felt, just a little, like they were sharing a single bed.
No matter how much Kuroko wished it were true, a night spent connected with his bonds did not make his feelings disappear entirely. Not even Midorima texting him his Oha-Asa horoscope helped, even though Kuroko appreciated the thought and did buy his lucky item as recommended.
The practice game where the first years played the whole game and won only made those feelings even worse.
In the end, it was Hyuuga who literally slapped him out of that state of mind and sent him running towards Kagami.
"Kagami-kun!" Kuroko shouted as he panted for breath on the side of the court where he and Kagami first met. Kagami jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to find him bent over, panting.
"Kuroko…" he trailed off in disbelief.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Kuroko asked. Kise's light was a bright encouragement and when Midorima's vines tried to shrink away from Kuroko's glittering hope in ice, Momoi's sakura blossoms bloomed, keeping him close.
"What did you want to talk about?" Kagami asked, curious.
"I'm sorry," Kuroko apologized. "The truth is, I haven't gotten all my thoughts together yet."
"Hey!" Kagami protested, glaring down at Kuroko as if he were doing this purposefully.
"I don't know where to start," Kuroko confessed. "Please give me a minute."
"From now? Sheesh," Kagami groaned, tossing the basketball he held to Kuroko. "I've got nothing to do while I wait. At least play against me. You can think while you play."
Kuroko resisted the smile that wanted to form on his face. He knew exactly how this would go, but it was so nostalgic that he couldn't help himself.
Just as expected, Kagami easily scored 14 points and Kuroko none. Kagami laughed and reminisced about the first time they played like this, before he hit the question Kuroko had been waiting for him to ask since they met.
"Why did you choose me?" he asked.
"Sorry," Kuroko apologized and it felt like the first time he had been honest with anyone outside the Miracles and his grandmother in so very long . "I have to apologize to you. I lied. In middle school, I received a uniform as the team's sixth man."
"I know that." Kagami nodded, looking a little lost. "You were the trump card of the Generation of Miracles."
"That's not quite right," Kuroko denied. His fingers twitched, wanting to wrap around his wrists and feel the names engraved into them. Three returned, three still lost. But he resisted the urge, still unwilling to share this secret. "They may have believed in me, but they did not trust me. It may be more accurate to say they stopped being able to trust me."
And Kuroko had stopped being able to trust them as well. They'd all made mistakes, mistakes that Kuroko was still unsure could be fully healed.
But he was going to try. He was not going to stop until he saw the spark in Aomine's eyes, the drive in Murasakibara's play and the smile on Akashi's lips.
"When I was a first year, I was an unremarkable player," Kuroko continued aloud. "I joined the bench as the sixth man in my second year. Back then, I believe they still trusted me. But as their talents began blossoming like Aomine-kun, they lost their faith in me. The Generation of Miracles began placing their trust in themselves over everything else. If we were one point behind with only a few seconds left in the game, they could not pass. They had to do it themselves. The truth is, it didn't have to be you. I simply wanted to use you to force the Generation of Miracles to recognize my style of basketball."
It was the first time Kuroko had ever said how he originally saw Kagami aloud. The other Miracles may have understood Kagami had been a tool, but nobody else had.
And now…Kagami himself knew.
"I was wondering what you might say," Kagami sighed. "I had a feeling it would be this." Kuroko looked up in surprise. "I've always felt it. I'm just like them. Even though you had supposedly quit the Teiko basketball team because you rejected the style of the Generation of Miracles, I knew why you chose to work with me."
Kuroko remained silent, biting his tongue so he didn't correct Kagami's impression. It wouldn't do for them to start fighting now, not when their teamwork and partnership was more important. Kagami was not on the same level as the Miracles, Kuroko was certain of that.
But admittedly, he was quite possibly on the path to reaching the same level as the Uncrowned Kings.
"Everyone plays basketball for their own reasons. I'm not any different-"
"No." Kuroko's voice was steel as he cut in. "Kagami-kun, you are different. In all of our games so far, you trusted me."
"In the face of overwhelming power, I don't think we can win just by working together."
"Those were not parting words, but words to make us stop relying on each other and become even stronger," Kuroko stated firmly. "So we could combine even greater strength to win. Allow me to correct myself. I am glad I go to Seirin. All our senpai are wonderful people, our classmates who work alongside us are great, as well, and you trusted me. I am not Teiko Middle School's sixth man, Kuroko Tetsuya. I am Seirin first year, Kuroko Tetsuya. I don't want to make someone else the best player in Japan. With you, and with everyone else, I want to become the best in Japan! That's why I will become even stronger and defeat the Generation of Miracles."
The bonds glittered in Kuroko's mind, one by one. Kise's warmth enveloped him like sunshine, Midorima's vines tangled gently around his feet and Momoi's sakura blossoms bloomed. Kuroko could feel his own emotions forming into a winter wonderland, a sign of his determination and his peace with his new goal.
"That's what I've been meaning to do all along," Kagami stated. "And you got it wrong again!"
He threw the basketball at Kuroko. As soon as he caught it, Kuroko threw it up towards the hoop and there Kagami was, using his pass to dunk the ball in.
"You don't want to be the best. We're going to be the best!" Kagami declared, smiling back at Kuroko with that own determined spark in his eyes.
Kuroko felt so warm, with both his bonds flourishing in his mind and Kagami being so confident in the both of them, in their team.
"Yes." Kuroko nodded simply.
Winning didn't matter anymore, he had already lost after all.
But even still, Kuroko would beat the rest of the Miracles. And then, he, Kise, Midorima and Momoi would reclaim the three missing from their bond.
Where they all went from there? Kuroko didn't know.
But he wanted to see it.
And there we are! I hope you all enjoyed! Man, I can't believe that I'm three chapters from the end of season 1 or posting chapter 20, and yet here we are. I just want to thank you all for taking the time to stick with me after all these years, it really means a lot to me, considering just how flaky my writing and updating schedule can be. I don't know when the next chapter is gonna come, I hope soon since I'll be working on the Kaijo vs Touou game on my end and I want to share it with you all, but who knows.
Buuuuuuut if you all want to, I have a brand new fanfic server that I only recently started, where you can talk with me and get updates on my various fics (and I do mean various, there's...a lot). If you'd like to join, let me know and I'll give you a link! Everyone's welcome, heheh!
Okay, that's it from me for now. Hope you're all doing well! See you all later!