Author's Note: Okay... I need to stop saying I'll get things done "soon" cuz it always takes me a month whenever I say that. Well, at least now I can say that I have gotten my Master's degree (Yippee) and am done with studying. Anyways, here is the next chapter and oh boy, is it rough. I'll just let the chapter speak for itself because it deals with pretty heavy stuff.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN KFP!

Enjoy... if you can.

Irredeemable

Minutes before Po's fathers had reached the four masters, their heart-broken leader sits atop her panda's bed, her single amber eye staring into one of the many bombastic posters littered around. A poster that manages to glow within the dreary dimness of the room, whatever light is present outside only finding its way inside through a tiny crack in its curtains. Fire roars from the poster, a scene of a ferocious battle raging forth with master Tigress up front and centre in her stance.

She notes the red qipao adorning her body, its blooming vines wrapping around her torso in a golden pattern. A lotus that was still learning, still growing. Still fighting her demons. Tigress' eye remains fixated on her illustrated, younger self, the tiger now adorned in a white sleeved qipao. A silver lotus winds around its fabric, distraught and wilting. Grieving to the point of dying itself. She remembers when that first qipao had been commissioned for her by Oogway, that he had likened her to a growing flower in itself. A soothing, comforting message that she had kept close at heart. It was through this symbolism that she has requested the design of her funeral wear, seeing it fitting.

Little did she know how right she would be.

How fitting it was that her golden qipao was left as a scarred, ashen wreck, barely even recognisable after that horrific final battle. How fitting that her soul had left that battle the same way, that she feels herself wilting from the inside, that her grief threatens to suffocate her heart until that lotus can bloom no more. Part of her wishes it could. That fate would allow some semblance of fairness and give her the fate she deserves, but then would that really be fair?

No, she could never do that. Not to her family, not the valley that needs her still.

You still think yourself a hero? A familiar voice rings in her head. A voice she had hoped to never hear again, yet Tigress doesn't react at all. Who are you trying to fool? You know what you are. You know what you did. Her eye remains fixed upon her younger self, noting the excited smile on her face. Noticing the… black eyes in the fire? You know what you did. A shiver begins to fill Tigress' body as both her good and bad eyes widen at the scorch marks filling her illustrated qipao, her friends reaching out to her from the fire. Her teeth bathed in a filthy, fresh crimson.

You know what you did.

Squeals punch a hole into her heart, the memory of a poor, innocent pig flashing through her mind. Torn asunder by that horrible monster tormenting her mind. Don't lie to yourself. A monster that exists because of her. No, she would never-

Or do you prefer your falsehoods over the truth? Her mind interrupts her assurance with a memory. A little over a day after Zhongcheng's demise. Her, the five and the emperor's troops had aided in bringing the evacuated civilians back. So many people who had lost their loved ones, their homes and businesses now destroyed, their city no longer safe to live in. To think that one vile wolf had done that much damage.

Her singular good eye mirrored the emptiness of her scarred, milky one as she guided a pair of gazelles from their boat to land, the tiger unable to banish the sight of her father's limp corpse. There was pain, anger, despair, fear; too many emotions coursing through her yet all ring hollow in the depths of her soul. Instead of pulling her apart, it had numbed her. Rid her of the ability to speak, to think, to feel.

As the gazelles got to land, Tigress turned her head only to see an elderly pig woman and a little piglet, the former speaking to Zhonglei and the latter burying his face into her robes. Guilt and shame contorted her face as she noticed the tears staining the elder pig's eyes. The choked and hiccupping breaths of the little pig that she had started to embrace. Tigress struggled to hold her own pain back as the elder pig fell into a sobbing fit, everyone else on the boat turning to her as she screamed, "My sweet boy!"

She had not only killed an innocent pig, but had stripped a son away from his mother, a father from his son. Punched a hole through a family that did nothing wrong. All because of her weakness.

Loathing erupts within her good eye in a raging inferno, her sight completely set on her illustration as she pushes herself off the bed. Tears begin to burn her eyes, coursing with the same heat and wrath as the lava that has replaced her blood. Without hesitation she runs up to the poster as it gazes back at her with its bloodied grin, her younger eyes now a harrowing obsidian. Her claws unsheathe by themselves as hateful growls spew from her throat. Not a single thought is spared before she tears at the poster, hoping to obliterate and erase any evidence of that putrid creature's existence.

But it's useless. The memories remain. Memories of the pig, his fearful eyes, his pained screams of death, the pungent stench and tang of metal that flooded her tongue and nostrils, threatening to make her vomit.

Have mercy! Please! Master Tigress, please! Wai-

Memories of Po's never-ending pleas, his attempts to bring her back and save her, only to be met with the monster's unforgiving claws.

Tigress! Please!

Memories of Shifu's tears, his tired and aching body trying to hold on in the hopes of seeing her free. Hoping that he could have one last chance of being her father.

You have to fight, Tigress… please. Come back to me… come back to me…

Without Zhongcheng's tricks, without the monster's influence, Tigress hears their pained words loud and clear, deafening her to the world around her. Blinding her to one simple fact. Tearing that monster to shreds will do nothing. It will not reverse the events of that horrible day. It won't bring a semblance of happiness to that pig family.

It won't bring her father back.

But she doesn't care anymore. All she wants is the creature that had ruined her life to die, whether it be within her or otherwise. Yet, her savage evisceration barely lasts ten seconds. For within that time, the poster is already reduced to tatters, that monster already annihilated. Yet, she feels no different. She looks to the ripped and torn remnants of the 'bodacious' poster, her paws shaking as a realisation fills her mind. Her loathing remains, her anguish remains. That monster remains. For as long as she lives.

"Stripey baby?" Her heart freezes in place, the innocent and concerned voice of Lei-Lei bringing a sense of fear to her soul when it used to fill her with warmth. She turns her head to the door only to see said young panda held in the arms of the dragon warrior, both still adorned in their white and silver funeral wear from before. Though worry fills both their eyes, a noticeable pang of pity remains strong in Po's jade irises, knowing of the shame she must be going through. Her unmitigated pain.

Yet… something else catches Tigress' attention as her eye shifts back to Lei-Lei's violet irises, now looking down to… her claws. Her own eyes follow her gaze, fixating upon the tatters of torn parchment that still drift down from her claw tips, the eviscerated remains of her younger, happier self. Upon the traces of faded, blackened crimson that poisons her claws. Her soul. Her paws begin to quake as her eyes look back up to Lei-Lei's, her heart crumbling in recognition of something that flashes in the cub's eyes. That flashes even in Po's eyes. It's only for a split-second, vanishing so fast that most wouldn't even know it was there. But Tigress didn't need any longer to know what it was.

Fear.

Involuntary, maybe. Irrational, possibly. Genuine… yes. Her claws slinks back into her paws, their slowness mirroring the knives of their fearful eyes burrowing into her heart. Shame both old and new swarms her soul, memories of that awful iron door drill into her mind, reminding her of why she had been put there. Reminding her of each terrified look she had earned from the caretakers, the children of Bao Gu. To see that fear in Po's eyes, to see that in Lei-Lei's eyes. Even for a second, they feared that monster. No, they feared her. "I…" Her lips begin to tremble, the tiger unable to banish that awful name from her mind. The monster of Bao Gu. You know what you are. To think that she had become better than that. To think that she ever could. And they do too. Her sight begins to blur, an onslaught of tears blinding her one good eye with a torrent of guilt and grief. This is what she deserves, their fear. Them realising what she truly is.

Yet, to her shock, her ears twitch at the sound of Po's approaching footsteps. Though her good eye can barely see him through her teary veil, Tigress can feel his arms begin to wrap around her. She tries in vain to push his arms away, to keep him away from the monster that she had let loose. Stubborn as ever, Po refuses to back down as he wraps her in a warm, loving embrace. Something that once again freezes Tigress' heart in place. Despite her losing control, despite her nearly killing him, despite everything. He still hasn't given up on her. He still loves her.

A crack forms in the dam that tries to keep her pain within, threatening to burst upon the dragon warrior's undeniable love. It's in this realisation that she feels something tug on her leg. No, she feels Lei-Lei… hugging her. "Don't worry, mama. It'll all be okay." Her sweet, innocent voice brings a foreign tremor to her body, reminding her of Li-Shan's proposal. To think that she sees her that way, even now. Even with that fear in her eyes, her love remains pure.

The dam breaks as sobs leave Tigress' maw, the poor tiger bawling her eyes out into Po's shoulder as she hugs him back tightly. She doesn't deserve them. Their hearts are wasted on her, yet they don't let go. They remain silent in their embrace as Tigress' sorrow pours out of her. Her tears begging for a life where she could experience their love without enduring such misery. Without the monster that continues to torment her.

Punches and kicks batter a lone bamboo stalk ripped from the earth, their sheer force mirroring the anger held within Tigress' agonising cries. Though it is only faint, Zhonglei's ears can still pick up his niece's tears. Her grief still bleeds its way into his soul, fuelling his fists with a rage that he knows far too well.

Tigress' struggling, imprisoned body still chains itself to his mind. He still remembers the moment he saw a tiny white speck barge her out of the cannonball's path. A scowl fills his face as Shifu's limp body flashes in his mind, as his daughter's devastation stabbed into him a hundred times over. That horrible moment had branded itself into his mind. Ever since that day it had kept replaying, over and over again. Even in dreams, he couldn't escape. Even in the celebrations the Zhanshi clan had tried to put on after their own memorials, it simply wouldn't leave. Nor would he want them to. Not after making such a horrible mistake.

Renci watches on from his seat, his majestic yet eerie white and black robes matching the elegance of his temporary room in the valley's inn. What was a meagre training session for the golden tiger had quickly turned to something else entirely, his strikes against the torn bamboo stalk growing in their strength and ferocity. His golden eyes note the sweat beginning to stain his friend's white undershirt, his silver armour absconded to the other side of the room. He can smell it too, though the lion tries not to focus on that too much. Each attack that pounds into the bamboo stalk threatens a flinch from him, but he manages to remain strong. It's as if his punches have found a new purpose, that this mere hunk of bamboo is actually a person.

And Renci might just know who that is.

"Give it a rest, Zhonglei." The power that usually resonates in his voice lowers to a sombre suggestion, fully expecting his tiger friend to simply ignore him.

Of course, Zhonglei doesn't bother to subvert this, his punches still bashing into the sturdy yet fragile bamboo. "We have to be ready for anything, your grace."

A pathetic attempt to hide his true intentions, one that Renci sees through immediately. "Even when we're surrounded by friends, by some of China's best? We need only to prepare for our journey back home. And we'll need energy for that." Even still, Zhonglei keeps punching and kicking, acknowledging the cracks that form in the bamboo's surface yet showing no discernible reaction.

"I'll have plenty left." His mutter nearly resembles a snarl as he doesn't even spare the emperor a glance, his eyes focused solely on his bamboo victim. "You shouldn't concern yourself with me."

More attacks are flung out by the Zhanshi chief, making more cracks form upon the shuddering bamboo, fearing his next strike. For a few moments more, Renci watches on, measuring the fury contained in his fists, the loathing in his eyes. The pain in his soul. Hide it as much and as poorly as he likes, the emperor's suspicion has already been confirmed. Especially in the growl that slips out of Zhonglei's maw, "Beating yourself down won't mend your niece's soul."

Snap!

One last chop from Zhonglei snaps the stalk in half, forcing his ruby irises to gaze at his old friend. Though surprised at how quickly the lion had understood his feelings, he can't exactly say he had been subtle. Not after training day after day on the boat ride to the valley. Ruby irises find themselves unable to look on any longer as his friend gazes back with worry, misguided and undeserved. "Someone must be punished."

Confusion fills Renci's eyes only for a second until he realises just what the golden tiger is getting at. "For Shifu's death?"

"For everything." An immediate snarl of a response erupts from Zhonglei's maw as his eyes burn a hole into the carpeted floor. "For what happened to the furious five, for what happened to my own men. For what happened to over a hundred innocent lives." Though sorrow pours over his timbre, it doesn't snuff out the raging fire in his stare, it only adds more fuel.

Fuel that Renci tries to snatch away as he rises out of his chair, his old friend crouching down to grab one half of the bisected stalk. "From what I've heard, Zhongcheng's gruesome demise was punishment enough." Golden irises gaze downward, noticing something strange about Zhonglei's fingertips. A strange discolouration.

"He is not the only one at fault." A pitiful admittance seeps out of him in a whisper as the fires of an unassuming village fills the bamboo's rough canvas, a golden tiger adorned in the imperial crest gazing around with a helpless expression. An expression that he sees again as his paw glides over its surface, revealing that same useless tiger held captive as his niece is forced to do something truly abhorrent.

Before he can dwell on these thoughts for any longer, Renci grabs his right paw and looks closer, his golden eyes widening to the size of the sun as he notes Zhonglei's resplendent gold fur bleed into dried crimson. His heart soon drops as his sight ventures further, noting the distinct emptiness where his claws should be. Pure worry fills his countenance as his head turns to Zhonglei, his tiger friend immediately turning away with his ears folding atop his head. "What did you do?" Though he can already guess what had happened, the emperor wants, no, needs to hear this from him.

Zhonglei snatches his paw away, still unable to look his friend in the eye as he mutters in a voice he had never heard before. "The least of what I deserve."

Shame, guilt, despair, pain, loathing; Renci can hear all of it in his friend's words despite his voice barely being audible. His face falls even further, mimicking his aching heart as Zhonglei massages his right paw. "You can't believe that."

Ruby eyes remain fixated on his mutilated digits, part of him regretting the torment he had inflicted upon himself, the other plagued by the moment Gongjiang had used his claws to light the cannon. Used his foolishness to cause his own family such misery. He doesn't look to the emperor as he picks up the remains of bamboo and stands up, "I need more bamboo."

Without another word, he exits the room and heads past Renci's guards, leaving him with a mind flooded in anxiety and a face drowning in worry. To what end will Zhonglei's guilt take him? At what point will he consider his 'punishment' served? That is an answer that the emperor doesn't even hope to entertain.

Damn... so much guilt festering in people, it's actually pretty crazy. Also, I didn't forget the Lei-Lei plotline I set up in Clouded minds, I was just setting it up for now. Anyways, hope I didn't start off with too much suffering just yet because things are going to kick off VERY soon. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and until next time :)