I'm Alive! Happy Reading xoxo

Alex tried not to allow the feeling of his eyes on her back affect her as she climbed the stairs to the second floor of Jamie's townhome. Despite her efforts to look calm, her hands couldn't help the conscious shaky tug at the shirt she was wearing – the only thing covering her body at the moment. Her heart was pounding, the deep thrum of her heartbeat in her ears drowning out the creaks of the floorboards beneath her. Her mind was racing with the possibilities of what was about to happen. The sound of Jamie humming to himself in the bathroom calmed her nerves only slightly as she quickly approached the door to the connecting bathroom of his bedroom.

With a hesitant knock she called to him, "Jamie? I need to talk to you."

A clattering sound of bottles hitting the sink faintly hit her ears. "Hang on, baby. Just touchin' up me hair a bit. Last game of the season, need to look me best."

In normal circumstances, that would have made Alex giggle. She could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke to her. She hated what was about to happen. She hated it even more so that she wouldn't be able to protect him.

"Jamie," Her breath stuttered, and her eyes shut in defeat, knowing his good mood would come crashing down at her next words. "Your father is downstairs."

The door swung open so fast it caused her to gasp as she took a fumbling step back. Jamie quickly took her by the arms with a fierce look of concern. His body was still damp from the shower and a towel was loosely secured around his waist.

"Did he touch you?" His hand gently caressed her jaw as his eyes rapidly took her in. His eyes began darting all over the room as he allowed the information to set in. "What happened? Why is he here?"

Alex's head was already shaking before he finished his frantic questioning. "He didn't say." Jamie's body was tense as he went to the closet to begin dressing. "I told him I would let you know he was visiting." She flattened her lips in dismay and tears prickled in her eyes as she watched as anxiety quickly overwhelmed her boyfriend's demeanor. "I'm sorry I let him inside. I should have told him to leave. I should have- "

"No," He quickly hushed her self-doubt. "This isn't your fault." Jamie crossed the room once more, this time dressed in pink sweatpants and a shirt. His previously styled hair was now frazzled. "I can't believe he's here. I haven't seen him since…" He shook his head and scoffed, clear evidence of hatred brewing in his blue eyes. "Stay here while I take care of this."

She reached for him as he started heading out of the bedroom, "Jamie, please don't do anything you'll regret."

The melancholy smile he gave her, before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, made a lump form in her throat. "I've regretted plenty of things, Lex." He looked down for a moment. "I wish I could say punchin' me old man was one of them."

The definitive sound of his door closing behind him caused Alex to sit down on the bed defeatedly. Her hands gripped the sheets in panic as her mind reeled on what would happen. How could this morning change so quickly? It was less than an hour ago she was blissfully giving her body over to the man she was beginning to love. Now he was being forced to confront the one person she hoped would never be near him again.

The buzzing noise of her phone on the side table caught her attention just as she was finishing getting dressed. Her brow crinkled as she realized she had 20 missed calls and 15 new text messages. She couldn't worry about that right now. Quickly, she picked up the phone and sighed in relief at who it was.

"Hey," Her voice creaked with emotion, the sound of their voice almost made her cry. "Jamie needs you."

Jamie quickly went down the steps as adrenaline coursed through him. To his surprise, he found his father facing away from him with clasped hands behind his back. James Tartt admired the framed pictures on the wall. Capsulated moments ranging from his first game playing for Man City to a young Jamie hugging his mother on his fourth birthday – none of these moments included the man inspecting them.

"I never pictured you with a redhead, son." James Sr.'s voice tore through the silence. "You always fancied the blonde birds."

"What d'you want?" Jamie said shortly, keeping a sizeable distance between himself and his father in the foyer.

James Sr. approached him with a playful grin stretched across his aging face. "Come on, son! I didn't mean to frighten the little dove, but what's a man supposed to do when a fit thing like her opens the door, eh?" He casually thumped his son on the shoulder.

Resentment churned in his gut as he flinched upon physical contact. He took a moment to take in his father's appearance. Ruffled clothes and greasy hair, just like the last time he saw him. Although this time, there was an absence of liquor clinging to his breath.

"The pubs closed for the day or somethin'?" Jamie said tensely, prepared for whatever anger the comment would unleash.

The reaction he received surprised him. James Sr. swallowed harshly, the easy-going smile melting away from his face, and looked down at his dirty trainers. His shaky hand came up to scratch at his unkempt beard for a moment.

"That's actually what I came to talk to you about." He cleared his throat before taking a seat on the bottom step of the stairway. "I stopped by to tell you I'm goin' away for a while."

"What d'you mean?"

James Tartt fiddled with his hands. Jamie had never seen this version of his father; nervous and unsure. Vulnerable. For the first time in his life, Jamie saw the look of shame taking over his weathered features. "I um, I leave tomorrow to go to a facility in Derby. I'll be there for a couple months at least… It's time I quit drinkin'."

A baffled laugh escaped Jamie before he even had time to process what was just said to him. "Are you takin' the piss?" He scoffed humorlessly as his father looked down at his clasped hands. "Is this like the time you promised to stick around when I was fourteen? Because guess the fuck what? That didn't end up happenin'."

"Listen, son…" He stood up and slowly approached Jamie. "You don't have to believe me, but I really am tryin' this time. I want to get better, for you."

Jamie clenched his jaw and turned away, placing his hands on his hips to keep them from pummeling into his dad's jaw. He had hoped for this moment, back when he was a small lad wishing for his family to be whole again. There were times when he believed his father's words of change, and every time the bastard proved why trusting people's words only led to heartbreak and disappointment. Overtime he learned to accept the reality of having a shitty father, and yet a small flicker of hope in his heart could be felt in this moment. It bloody fucking pissed him off.

He was tired of being chained to these emotions his dad put him through. It was because of him he couldn't trust people for most of his life. It was because of him that Jamie never felt good enough. He was tired of hanging on to all of this bullshit when his life was starting to come together. He had friends he could count on, a team he felt a part of, and a girl he felt truly connected to.

A creak came from the stairway. Jamie looked up to see Lexie peering down at him from the corner of the hallway, a look of deep concern hardened her usually soft face. When they made eye contact, she gave him a small apologetic smile – feeling guilty for not allowing them privacy. However, the look of love he saw in her green eyes made him forgive her instantly. He swallowed hard and paused for a moment before looking back to his father.

"I forgive you."

The smile on his dad's face faltered. "D'you mean that?"

Jamie licked his lips nervously before repeating his words. "I forgive you." He faintly heard the small hitch of breath that came from the stairway. "For all of it… all the bullshit you put me through. Everythin' you did to me mum… I forgive you."

"Jamie I…"

"I'm not doin' it for you." He spoke quickly, not wanting to give his dad any satisfaction. "I can't keep carrying around this fuckin' hatred for you anymore. Because I really do fuckin' hate you, but I need to move forward with me life."

His dad nodded, as if expecting that response from his son. Although, the sadness was evident on his face. "I um, I realized I needed help when I saw you on the telly with the erm…" He trailed off and pointed to his own eye. "I went too far that night. And watchin' you play while sportin' that… It made me realize the hurt I caused you."

All he received as a response was a subtle nod. "Is that all you came to say?" Jamie walked backwards towards the door and opened it. "I hope you get better dad, but this is your life to fix and right now… Right now, I can't be a part of it. I have me own life to focus on."

It was quiet as James Sr. walked around Jamie to walk out the door. He paused his steps to turn to look at his son for a final moment. "I am proud of you, Jamie. I always was, just was never any good at showin' it."

Jamie had nothing to say to him, just nodded as his grip tightened on the doorknob, wishing to close the door. James Sr. nodded in grim understanding before turning around and walking to his car.

Alex slowly walked down the stairs, watching Jamie stand in a frozen position, still facing the now closed door. The only movement coming from his chest as he breathed heavily. Hesitantly, she reached out and softly laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Jamie…" She breathed out sympathetically. It broke her heart when his strong shoulders started to tremble. "Oh, sweetheart." Alex wrapped her arms around him tightly as he stood there and cried, his hands coming up to hold her across his midsection. She rubbed her thumb comfortingly across the top of his shaking hands.

"I'm so proud of you for saying what you needed to." She pressed a kiss into his shirt covered back. "You are so brave, honey."

Jamie quickly turned around in her arms and buried his face in her neck. Alex didn't care about the tears and snot that would likely end up on her, she just wanted to take away all the pain he was feeling. "If you want, I can call Uncle Ted and tell him you're missing the game today."

He slightly pulled back from her to look at her like she'd gone insane. "Are you mad? I'm not missin' the final game of the season, love."

She understood, but she also knew he had to be exhausted now. "But Jamie-"

"No," Jamie said firmly yet gently. "I'm not lettin' me dad take this away from me."

Alex nodded and softly pushed his hair out of his face. "Okay, whatever you want to do I'll support you."

"I don't deserve you." He gave a small smile followed by a soft peck on her lips.

He sought comfort again in the crook of her neck, letting her run her hands down his back in gentle strokes. "Yes, you do." She murmured against his hair.

They stood there for a moment, holding each other. However, their moment alone didn't last long. A loud bang from the door caused the couple to jump apart.

"Open the fucking door! I'm going to rip that prick's greasy head off his greasy fucking shoulders!"

Jamie whipped the door open to reveal a mean looking and heavy breathing Roy Kent. "The fuck are you doin' here?!"

"I asked him to come." Alex said with a wincing shrug. She continued her explanation as Jamie sent her an incredulous look. "I thought he could help. He's your best friend, after all."

The two men eyed each other, daring the other to either confirm or deny Alex's statement. There was a moment of tense quiet between the three of them before it dawned on Roy that she was right. "Shit," He growled at the revelation, "When the fuck did that happen?"

To Alex's pleasant surprise, it didn't take long for Jamie to begin to act like his old self again. A twinge of sadness hit her as she realized he was probably used to having to cover up his emotions quickly.

She had made them all breakfast, as the two newly labeled friends sat and talked quietly together in the sitting room. She smiled to herself as she watched Roy put a comforting hand on Jamie's shoulder. Once their bellies were satisfied, they packed Roy's car with Jamie's things and the cupcakes Alex had made for the team.

"Personally, I think it truly started to blossom when you started coaching him, Roy." Alex teased from the back seat to ease the tension in the car as they were on their way to Nelson Road Stadium. "All that alone time together, sparks were bound to fly between you."
Jamie rolled his eyes in the passenger seat while Roy groaned with a tightened grip on the steering wheel. "It's a strictly professional relationship, babe." He turned around in his seat to send her a cheeky look, "You know I like 'em sweet, not like this grumpy old twat."

"Yeah, yeah." Roy simply dismissed the insult. No doubt he was being generous today after the emotional morning Jamie had. "Let's just listen to the fucking radio." Roy tapped the car screen to play his favorite station.

Father and Son by Cat Stevens began flowing through the car. Before it reached the second verse Roy awkwardly turned the station to something else, sensing Jamie's discomfort. Beautiful Boy by John Lennon came on. He quickly changed the channel again. Father to Son by Queen was midway through playing on the next station. "Oh, for fuck's sake! That's the most obscure Queen song that could possibly play." Roy turned off the radio all together. "No wonder radio is a fucking dying form of music media; they don't know how to read the fucking room!"

To Roy and Alex's surprise, a boyish laugh from Jamie rang throughout the vehicle. Once he started, he couldn't stop. Alex had never heard him laugh like that since she met him. It was a light and pure sound. Her heart fluttered as she realized she wanted to hear it as often and as long as possible.

They were almost at Nelson Road when Roy slowed the car down to a complete stop before the turn they needed to get to the athlete's entrance to the stadium.

"Erm, you need to press the pedal to make the car go, mate. I know old age makes you forget things easily."

Roy's grip tightened on the steering wheel as he took a deep inhaling breath. Jamie watched him reign in control with wide, wonderous eyes. "I'm going to let that one slide today, Tartt."

"Thank you for your restraint, Roy." Alex handed him a red velvet cupcake. "Here. You earned this."

The older man grinned like a little boy as he unwrapped the paper cup from the sweet treat. The younger man whined as he watched jealously. "Why does he get one and not me?"

Alex raised a challenging brow at her boyfriend. "I just said, he earned it."

Jamie teasingly leaned closer to her, his smirk making her stomach flip. "Did I not earn mine this mornin'? I remember makin' you very happy."

She slapped him on the chest with a blushing smile as Roy made gagging noises in the driver's seat.

"Well, that's fucking ruined now." He tossed the remaining bits of cupcake out the window. "I stopped the car because I needed to warn you both about something."

The couple stopped making eyes at each other and looked at Roy. "Warn us about what?" Jamie asked before Alex had the chance to speak.

"Word got out to the press about your relationship." He ripped it off like a band aid. Slowly he looked over to see their reaction.

Jamie pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. "So? Who the fuck cares what the paps have to say?"

Roy sighed and looked back at Alex, who was looking far more uneasy than her partner. "They think it's caused problems with Ted. They're running with the idea of you dividing the team, Alex."

Her breathing stopped for a moment before she frantically reached to check her phone. Suddenly the massive amounts of notifications made sense. She had 12 missed calls from her uncle alone. Keely, Sam, and Rebecca had also tried reaching her.

How widespread was this? Would her parents find out what was going on? What would they think? Would they want her to come home? Her hands shook at the thought of leaving. An even worse thought crossed her mind. Would Uncle Ted want her to leave too? She hadn't wanted any of this to happen.

Jamie had gone suspiciously quiet in the front seat. His knee bounced anxiously as he looked out the window. The tension in his body obvious as he clenched his fists on his thighs.

"Lasso is already in his office waiting for you, I let him know I was with you both." Roy reassured her. "I just wanted to prepare you for what might happen when we get there."

Alex reached forward and placed a nervous hand on Jamie, his muscles instantly relaxed at her soft touch. Roy began driving again without another word. As they drove up into the gate entry of the greyhound's stadium, she saw the chaotic group of press waiting at the doors to the entrance.

Unfortunately, freedom of press is also a thing in England, Alex thought to herself anxiously. The car pulled into a parking spot. The three of them sat silently, no one making a move to get out of the car.

"Just keep your head down and walk." Roy gently advised her. "Act like they don't exist no matter what bullshit comes out of their fucking mouths. There's extra security here to make sure nothing happens-"

"No one's goin' to fuckin' touch her." Jamie spat out furiously, breaking his silence. He shot out of the car and quickly opened her door as well. Her breath caught in her throat at the intense look he was giving her. A look that said he would protect her and keep her safe. She gripped his hand tightly in her own as she followed him to meet their fate.

Whatever was going to happen, they would deal with it together.