I should have known that my blissful weekend of happiness with Brittany would be preparing me for a crappy week ahead. It was only Wednesday and I was already contemplating hiding myself somewhere I couldn't be found just to get a tiny bit of peace and quiet.
When I first started up the club, being newly graduated with a business degree, I knew that I wanted to offer something different to attract more people. I also knew that my passion for performing couldn't get left behind and I wanted it to somehow be incorporated into the running of the club, and so Quinn and I came up with the idea of running classes throughout the week for dancers and performers. So, we started offering a selection of performance based classes, training up new dancers and performers to become the best of the best. Soon enough, we were sending off dancers to Broadway and for music videos, while some of them maintained their jobs at the club, putting on shows during the week and dancing on the weekends.
It was successful for the business, and brought in a hell of a lot of money, but it also meant that I was constantly busy with meetings and classes and doing everything else it takes to run a business. Sure, Quinn helped out with the business side of things when I needed her to and acted like my very own personal assistant, and I also had Kurt and Rachel running around behind the scenes, but on weeks like this it still seemed like I couldn't catch a freaking break. I suppose that's what I should have expected when starting up my own business, right?
In all honesty, it wasn't always this bad, but one of the regular dancers for the club had just landed a role in an upcoming music video so we had been busy holding auditions for a temporary replacement. It was exhausting and I was tired.
I was currently sat at the desk in my office, my head resting tiredly in my hands after responding to endless emails and ensuring everything is up to date, when all I wanted to do was go home and speak to Brittany. We hadn't had time to see each other since hanging out on Sunday, and while I should be familiar with waiting until Friday to see her again, now it just seemed like too far away.
I bet that Brittany would be able to take away my stress, probably with just one single smile, I didn't doubt that, and I was itching to just be pulled back down to reality by her arms wrapping securely around me. It was comforting how she managed to do that, make me feel so grounded, and I really needed that feeling after a stressful three days.
It's not that we hadn't spoken at all. Actually, we've spoken a lot. Brittany's good morning messages always brought a smile to my face when I woke up to them and they always lead to us texting throughout the day, serving as a good distraction from everything going on at the club. But still, they didn't compare to actually hearing that soothingly smooth voice that sent a wave of calmness through me and I missed the sound of it, so fucking much.
"S, are you ready for the next group of auditions? We still have like ten girls to watch before making a decision and we need to make it today," Quinn appeared at my office door, letting herself in as usual, and I rolled my eyes at her.
"Do I have to?" I whined, "can't you three just watch and tell me how they went?"
"Stop being a baby. You know that if you didn't watch now and we told you who we liked best, that you would just bring them all back so that you could watch them again," Quinn laughed and I sighed, because she was right. As much as I trusted their judgement of talent, I still liked to be involved and I definitely wouldn't hire anybody without watching them firsthand. I groaned loudly, dropping my head against my desk and Quinn sniggered.
"I'm so tired," I complained, "this week sucks."
"Cry me a fucking river, Lopez, are you coming or are you just going to sit in here feeling sorry for yourself?" Quinn asked and I took my head off the desk to send her a glare, pushing myself away from the desk and standing up with a sigh.
This is the price that you pay when you're the boss, Santana, get over it. I smoothed out my clothes and my hair, taking a deep breath and plastered on a fake smile; the day was almost over, I could do this. I motioned with my head for Quinn to follow me and she wordlessly fell in line beside me, I almost laughed at her hurried steps as she tried to keep up with my frustrated angry marching.
As we walked out from the back and to the stage, I allowed myself to slip back into professional mode and shake away all of the tiredness that had accumulated over the last couple of days.
"Go get me a shot," I told Quinn as we approached where Rachel and Kurt were already waiting for us.
"A shot? Santana, it's two in the afternoon on a Wednesday," Quinn cocked her eyebrow at me, shaking her head.
"Do I look like I care? I need something to get me through the rest of the day," I shrugged and watched as she just rolled her eyes and make her way to the bar without another word.
I smirked, settling myself on the chair next to Kurt and took the clipboard with all of the résumés and headshots for the auditioning dancers that he was holding out to me. Rubbing away the blurriness of my tired eyes, I looked down at the first girl on the list and skimmed through her references while I waited for Quinn to return from the bar.
"Here," Quinn grumbled, shoving the shot into my hand and taking a seat next to Rachel.
"Thanks," I gave her a sarcastic, tight lipped smile and took the sort, wincing as the liquid burned down my throat as I swallowed. "Okay, I'm ready," I clapped my hands together and ignored the looks of disbelief from my three friends, turning my focus to the stage.
"You need to have a day off," Kurt muttered from beside me, obviously Hummel.
Ignoring Kurt, I looked back to the clipboard that was settled in my lap. "Eve Topaz?" I called out, watching as a petite, young looking brunette walked out onto the stage.
She walked out confidently, her head held high, and I nodded in approval at how she appeared to carry herself. It was essential for my dancers to ooze with confidence, to be sure of their talent, but of course not be too cocky- that was just off putting. "Hi, it's an honor to be here," she smiled.
"We're just going to play a random song and then you just show us what you can do," I told her and she nodded in understanding.
I held up my hand, signaling for the music to be played, and watched as she began to move around the stage. She danced with ease to the song, slipping into rhythm without missing a beat and she was actually really good. It made me feel a bit more at ease about watching these auditions, and I was impressed with how she demonstrated all of her skills but somehow managed to keep her movements flowing.
I glanced beside me at the others to catch their reactions, to find that they were also watching her with interest and satisfied smiles. I grinned, and clapped approvingly when the music faded out after a minute or so and her movements came to a stop.
Eve collected her breath, eyes wide as she looked between us. "You can really move," I complimented, "Have you ever attended any of our classes here? You don't look familiar?" I asked her.
She shook her head, "No.. I just graduated from Julliard and this is kind of my first audition."
"I'm impressed," I told her, taking another casual look down at her portfolio, which pretty much just consisted of college shows and classes, but her grades were impressive and her dancing was definitely impressive enough for her to be considered. I smiled at her, "We've got a couple more auditions left today but we will be in touch by the end of the day. Thank you for coming in."
"Thank you so much, I look forward to hearing from you," Eve bounced off the stage and I turned to get opinions from the others.
"What did you think?" I asked them.
"I think that's she's got a lot of potential considering that she's only just graduated," Kurt shrugged.
"I just worry that it might be a bit much for her," Quinn offered and I nodded in agreement, understanding her comment. "But, it is only a temporary position so you wouldn't have to keep her on afterwards if you didn't want to."
"I agree with Qui-"
"Of course you do-"
"Do you want our opinions or not?" Rachel cut me off and I just rolled my eyes at her. "What I was going to say, is that she could surprise us. Juilliard is where most of our dancers have originated from and they drill professionalism into their students."
"Crap, you're right," Rachel smirked smugly at me. "Let's carry on, we might find somebody better," I offered and flipped the page, my eyes widening when noticing the next head shot on the page. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," I mumbled in annoyance, hearing the clicking sound of heels against the stage.
My eyes narrowed and I had to fight the urge to run up onto the stage. The smug smile on her face, the mischievous look of trouble in her eyes, it was all the same, and I hated the way that it instantly made my skin crawl in disgust.
"Get out," I sneered, stern and emotionless.
"Santana- wait!" She begged and I shook my head.
"I said get out of my club. Do you not know what fucking get out means?" I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier, it was bubbling in my stomach and felt like the beginning of a nasty storm. I shifted in my seat to stand up, but was halted in my movements by Quinn who beat me to it.
I watched with a dropped jaw as Quinn stood up and quickly jumped up onto the stage in a matter of seconds, her hand was lifting to connect with Elaine's cheek and a slapping sound echoed around the now silent room.
My body caught up with what was happening when I noticed Elaine trying to grab Quinn's arms to push her away and I snapped into action, standing up and rushing over to them.
Fighting the urge to smirk when noticing the red mark on Elaine's pale cheek, I swiftly grabbed her arm and pulled her away from Quinn. "You need to stop," I growled in warning, my stare hardening when she stopped wiggling in my hold and turned to me with surprise.
"Me? She just slapped me!" Elaine exclaimed, eyes wide and filled with fire.
"You deserved more than a slap," Quinn scoffed, folding her arms over her chest.
I sent her a warning look and she rolled her eyes, but held her hands up in mock surrender. "She's right," I told Elaine with a sigh of annoyance. "Why are you even here? I told you that I didn't want to see you again. Do I need to get a freaking restraining order?" Elaine opened her mouth and I cut her off with a shake of my head, "look, I get it, you're sorry and you want to make up but it's too late this time. I don't want you, I don't feel anything for you, and I certainly don't miss you or love you anymore. If it makes you feel better and makes you not ever come back here- I forgive you for all of that fucked up bullshit you put me through, I don't care anymore. I just want to never see you again."
Her face softened and I dropped my grip on her arm. "I'm sorry," Elaine whispered and I just shrugged at her as she backed away from me, nodding my head in the direction of the door.
"Just go, Elaine, please," I practically begged, my voice cracking slightly.
"Okay," Elaine agreed, and then glanced to Quinn who was standing beside me almost protectively, probably waiting to see if she needed to jump in and slap her across the face again. "I really am Sorry, Santana," she mumbled and then turned around, jumping off of the stage without another word.
I watched with a rapidly thumping heart and it felt like somebody had a tight grip around it as I watched her walk away, flashes of all the times I watched her do the exact same thing running through my head. I let out a shaky breath, my eyes brimming with tears, becoming blurry, and I felt so many overwhelming emotions all at once that my bottom lip began to tremble.
Quinn came up beside me, wrapping her arms around me and I felt my entire body slump into her embrace. "Shh, it's okay, she's gone," Quinn softly whispered into my ear, her hand coming up to gently wipe away the tears that had began trickling down my cheeks.
All thoughts regarding the auditions left my brain and I allowed myself to lean into Quinn, letting out months of pent up emotions and cried on her shoulder. I wasn't crying at the fact of watching Elaine, once again, walk out of my life, I was crying at the fact that she just tried to walk back in without any consideration of my feelings.
Like always, she was just thinking of herself.
Elaine spent the entire year of our relationship putting herself first, never thinking about how her actions or words affected me. She would walk out, time after time, and come back again so often that it just became this endless routine for us. Her hurting me, and then coming back like nothing had happened, me forgiving her and her pretending to care for a few weeks before the cycle started over again. It was exhausting, emotionally and mentally exhausting, and I didn't realise just how much I was exhausted until now.
I sniffled and took a deep breath, trying to even out my breathing and calm my emotions that had been building up for months and exploded out of nowhere. "S-She has no right to keep coming back!" I mumbled with frustration, pulling out of Quinn's embrace and wiping at my wet cheeks with the palms of my hands.
Quinn pushed back my hair and gave me a weak smile, "I know, sweetie, I'm sorry. We should have double checked through all of them first," she told me with a guilty look on her face.
"No, it's not your fault. She just needs to understand that no means no. I don't want to hear her out," I told Quinn with a frown. "Are you okay to go through the next couple of auditions without me? I'm just going to clean myself up," Quinn nodded and I sent her a thankful smile, before rushing off of the stage.
It wasn't ideal, and definitely not professional, but that was Elaine for you. Whatever, we needed the new dancer and auditions had to continue, so I had to quickly pull myself together and get back out there. I rolled my eyes as I made my way to the bathroom beside my office, knowing that I was the only one that used that one. I pushed the door open, letting out a shaky breath as I leaned against the door once it closed behind me and shut my eyes to take a minute to recollect myself, but all I felt was a need for the comfort of Brittany.
I bit down on my lip, contemplating it for a second, but the hesitation didn't last long because I was digging in my pocket in search for my phone pretty much as soon as the thought had entered my mind. I flicked through the phone, quickly clicking on Brittany's saved contact and brought the phone to my ear as I waited for her to answer.
The ringing echoed in my ear, once, twice, three times and then a quiet, "Santana?"
It was amazing, how just one simple word from her could loosen the knots that had become tied up inside my stomach and create a calm inside of me. I breathed out in relief, "hey," I whispered, "I'm sorry, are you busy?"
Brittany giggled, "I'm never too busy for you."
"I just- I really needed to hear your voice," I told her, my voice thick from tears and it cracked slightly at the end of my sentence as more tears began to well up in my eyes.
"Are you okay? Did something happen?" Brittany rushed out, she sounded concerned and I knew that she knew something was wrong.
I shook my head, but then realised that she wasn't actually here and couldn't see me, and rolled my eyes. "I'm okay," I reassured her softly and I couldn't hear her sigh with relief down the phone. "I wasn't okay- like five minutes ago," I admitted, "but now I am, hearing your voice."
"San," She cooed warmly and her voice send shivers of comfort right across my body. "Are you on your own?"
"No, I'm at work," I sniffed, wiping at my eyes, "we're doing stupid auditions and I really don't want to be here right now."
"How about this? You take a moment to breathe and make sure you're okay first, then go and finish your auditions. Then, when you're finished at the club, I will come by your place and we can get our cuddle on? How does that sound?" Brittany suggested softly, and I could practically see the smile that was on her face, making the butterflies flutter around in my stomach.
I nodded with a smile beginning to tug at my lips, "that sounds perfect," I admitted, "thanks, Britt, I'm sorry that I called you while you're working."
"San, you can call me at any time of the day, or night, and I will answer, okay?"
"Okay," I breathed out.
"Good, I'll see soon?" She asked me softly.
"Yeah," I agreed quickly, "See you soon, bye, Britt."
"Bye, Santana," Brittany sang lightly and giggled before hanging up the phone, leaving the sound ringing like a favourite song in my ears as I kept my phone pressed up against my face.
I grinned widely, putting my phone back into my pocket and walked over to the sink to splash my face with water and wash away any traces of tears. My eyes were slightly red and puffy but other than that I was all good and I was inwardly thankful that I never really wore make up to work other than on a weekend. I quickly cleaned myself up and made my way out of the bathroom and back to the stage, sighing in relief when I noticed that nobody was currently auditioning and I wasn't interrupting.
"Hey," I sheepishly smiled as I settled back onto the chair beside Kurt.
"Hi, you okay?" He asked, rubbing my arm as they all turned to me with concerned eyes.
"Yeah…" I breathed out, a small smile on my lips.
"You just spoke to Brittany, didn't you?" Kurt chuckled with a knowing look and I sucked in my lips, feeling my face heat up under his stare. "As long as you're okay," he added softly.
"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling a bit bad that they all seemed really concerned about my uncontrollable emotional outburst. "I just, I was really angry that she thought it was okay to just turn up here again like that. I wasn't expecting her to do that," I explained with a small frown.
"I don't think she'll be coming back after that, I could see her cheek already bruising from that slap when she walked past," Kurt laughed and I joined in, looking at Quinn who just shrugged her shoulders.
"She's lucky it was a slap and not a punch," Quinn teased, winking at me. "Seriously though, San, I'm sorry that she keeps putting you through this shit. You don't deserve that," she added.
"Hopefully that's the end of it, now," I told them and they nodded in agreement.
"If not, we'll just set Quinn on her again, and next time- Kurt and I will join in, too," Rachel laughed and I sniggered at the thought of Rachel and Kurt trying to jump into a fight with Elaine. "You ready to carry on? We only have three more to go, we can finish them up if you want to get out of here?"
"Nah, I'm good, I want to see them. How were the others?" I asked, reaching for the clipboard.
"They were all average, first girl is still the best," Kurt told me and I nodded before scanning over the next dancers head shot and résumé.
Another forty minutes passed by, luckily without any further disruptions or unwanted appearances from ghosts of the past, and a decision had been made on which dancer we wanted. If I would have known that the first dancer we watched audition would be the best, I would have hired her on the spot and saved myself the breakdown.
Although, then Brittany wouldn't have offered to come over after work and cuddle with me.
I grinned at the thought of seeing the beautiful blonde, and collected all of my paperwork that was sprawled out messily across my desk, beginning to tuck it away into one of the draws as I decided to deal with it tomorrow. I had enough of being here today; I just wanted to go home.
A knock at my office door stopped my actions and I frowned, because it was only Quinn, Rachel and Kurt here with me and they usually just barged on in. "Just because I cried in front of you, you don't have to knock," I shouted out through a laugh and made my way over to open the door. As I flung it open and went to make my way back to my desk, I paused in shock when I caught sight of my new favourite smile, "Brittany!"
She stepped forward, her arms wrapping around my shoulders and I melted into her. "Hey, San," Brittany whispered into my ear, and I buried my face into her neck with a sigh as my arms circled around her waist to hug her back just as tightly.
After a couple of minutes just breathing in her presence and enjoying her hug, I pulled back to look at her with a curious smile. "W-What are you doing here?" I asked her shyly.
She giggled, her hands coming to cup my cheeks while the blues of her eyes scanned my face. "You sounded really sad on the phone earlier and I wanted to come and make sure you were okay. I had to finish a couple of things off at work first, but I got the hell out of there as soon as I could and thought I would just come straight here to see you."
I softened at her words, biting my lip as my head fell to the side and I nuzzled my face against the softness of her hand as I looked at her adoringly. "You're the best," I grinned widely.
"Tell me something I don't know," she teased and I giggled at her, feeling all of the warmth flowing from the heat of her hands and directly to my heart.
"I was just clearing things away then heading out," I told her and she nodded, dropping her hands from my face and I already missed the contact of her soft skin against mine.
"Perfect timing then," Brittany smiled with a twinkle in her eyes, "want any help?"
"No, you can just sit down and look pretty," I winked and then went back to finish clearing my desk and shutting down the computer. My eyes kept flickering to Brittany every couple of seconds, who was sitting silently on the couch opposite and watching me with a smile tugging at her lips. Every time I would look up at her, her smile would get a tiny bit wider and the blush on my cheeks would get a tiny bit darker.
My fingers fumbled to pack everything away quickly, and within five minutes I was pushing under the chair and making my way to the blonde. "You look really hot in a suit," Brittany commented, licking her lips as her eyes dropped slowly down my body.
The heat on my cheeks spread down my neck and I raised my brows at her with a smirk, "I bet it would look even hotter on the floor," I teased and watched with an amused chuckle as her eyes widened at the unexpected comment.
"Santana!" She scolded me playfully through a laugh as she reached her hand out to hit my arm.
"What? It's true," I laughed and she just rolled her eyes.
"Keep rolling your eyes and they will get stuck like that," I told her smugly, using her own words against her mockingly, while reaching down for her hand without thinking, lacing our fingers together.
Brittany smiled softly, squeezing my hand in hers before she brought it to her mouth, leaving a few soft kisses across the back of my hand. "Come on, let's go back to your place and cuddle," Brittany cooed and I nodded my head, suddenly not feeling as tired as I felt earlier.
What a perfect end to a bad day.