Chapter Nine: Not-Guilty

It was two thirty-six in the morning, according to Rose's watch, and her mind was racing.

It should've been pure bliss, being in Scorpius' bed, listening to him softly snoring beside her, feeling completely satiated after dreaming about being with him for so long. And while those things made her a little giddy inside, it wasn't bliss. She wished it was the only thing she felt, but there was more there.

She felt incredibly guilty.

It was completely irrational. She would never think to blame any boyfriend she would have for the people he was with before they were in a relationship. She was not currently committed in a relationship, not even a little bit. There was no reason for her to feel guilty for sleeping with Scorpius because she had a soulmate out there who she didn't even know.

Nevertheless, the guilt weighed down on her. Even if she wouldn't blame her soulmate for being with other people before they met, the fact that she knew Scorpius wasn't the person she would be with was tearing her up inside. This had been a mistake, not only because she was hurting herself, she would have to hurt Scorpius.

Not that there wasn't some validation, Rose thought as she clasped her bra behind her and pulled her underwear back on. All along—him holding her hand, calling her cute, looking out for her, touching her hair—that was all real. She wasn't crazy, she did see something happening between the two of them.

There was a reason she took the SoulMates test, and it wasn't just because she was too scared to act on her feelings for him.

Rose realized the rest of her clothing was on the floor beside the bed. Unfortunately, stealth was not her strong suit, and as she quietly moved her legs to the edge of the bed—a move that was imperative, considering it was nearly impossible for her to stand up otherwise—she felt an arm sneak around her bare waist, keeping her there.

Scorpius' voice was rough with sleep. "Don't do this, Rose."

Her heart skipped in her chest.

"You're cold," he whispered, pressing his arm gently against her, a gesture to come back to him. "Let's just…"

"Talk?" Rose finished, conceding and slipping back underneath the covers. She actually was cold, and that was the excuse she was using.

Scorpius shifted her to her side, slipping one arm under her pillow, the other still tight around her waist as he pulled her into the front of his body. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to."

There was a thickness in her throat that she attempted to swallow. "This shouldn't have happened."

"Why not?"

"You know why." Rose closed her eyes, trying to retain this moment and commit it to memory. The hard muscles of his arm. The way her body fit in his. His lips on her shoulder. His smell, sweet and musky, enclosing her senses and running tiny jolts beneath her skin. "I don't want to leave."

"Then don't leave." His voice was controlled and steady, but she could still feel the urgency underneath the words.

"You're practically my boss."

There was a pause; Scorpius clearly hadn't expected to hear that, of all things.

"I am not your boss." He went from affronted to apprehensive in the next moment. "Although, I suppose our actual boss would never let us work together if he knew."

"That's probably true."

"Everyone else in the office already knows how I feel about you," Scorpius admitted, kissing her neck. "They've been teasing me about it for months."

"Really?" Rose said, surprised. "No one's ever said anything to me."

"Lucky you."

Despite herself, she laughed.

"I might be your supervisor," he said, "and I might be your editor, but I've never been your boss."

"I said practically."

"Absolutely not."

Rose brushed her fingers with his, unable to help herself. "Months? Really?"

"Months," he confirmed, sounding a little hesitant. "I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. It just sort of happened."

She felt a burst of courage. "I used to fancy you at Hogwarts."

"You did?" He seemed surprised. "I always thought you were pretty, but… I didn't really know you well enough."

She nodded in agreement. "I never said anything because I got scouted before graduation." In any case, she hadn't felt ready to explore relationships at the time—not that she would have admitted it. She'd been a bit of a late bloomer, only having had her first real relationship a couple of years after graduating.

"That's right, you were such an overachiever," he remembered. "It was so annoying; your hand would fly up to answer every single question."

She chuckled. "I got us all those house points, didn't I?"

"To be honest, when you first joined Quidditch World, I thought it would be a nightmare." He intertwined their fingers. "I've always known you were smart, but we used to butt heads anytime we'd been assigned group projects at school."

This was true; back then, Scorpius had no qualms in challenging things in his own, quietly arrogant way. She would be ready to argue to prove she was right, whereas he would assume he was correct in every situation, even when he wasn't. Not the best combination when working on a homework assignment together.

"You've gotten a little less bossy," she acknowledged, making him laugh. "I suppose we've both grown up since then."

"Still, I didn't realize how much you'd changed."

She spoke slowly, thinking as it came out. "I think… being a Weasley, playing Quidditch, all that… it required me to be someone. I call her Quidditch Rose. And I guess I was her, thinking I knew everything, thinking I understood how the world worked, but something changed. About the time I realized that I didn't love Quidditch the way I used to. And then my dad went through all these heart problems."

It was at this time that she realized that, in fact, she likely knew nothing at all.

He squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry. Is he doing better now?"

"Yeah." Rose closed her eyes, trying not to think about it. "He loved that I played professionally. I think he's always going to be a little disappointed that I left."

"Is there anything you still like about Quidditch?"

It took Rose a moment to answer. "Flying. Now it terrifies me, but I still miss it sometimes."

Scorpius laughed softly.

"I can't play again, though," she backtracked. "When you're a Quidditch star and the media is constantly on your case, no one's happy unless you're competitive and bold. I don't know why I fell for that pressure, but I did, and I don't want to go back to being someone I'm not."

"They can't see it, can they?" Scorpius kissed the top of her head. "Who you really are makes you a better player. I've been to some of your games. You're thoughtful and observant, and that's always been your strength."

Her heart felt fuller than it had in a while. Maybe ever. "I've read everything you've written."

"No, you haven't." There was a grin in his voice. "Have you really?"

"Everything you've published," she promised, blushing, "that I could find, anyway."

He turned her around to look in her eyes, and her embarrassment was somewhat appeased by how pleased he looked. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," she said quietly. His fingers came up to the side of her jaw, and she leaned into him. "I like your writing. It's honest."

"Sweetheart." Scorpius dipped his head and kissed her, slowly, like he was savouring it. "I've read all your writing, too."

Rose giggled and tapped the back of her hand on his chest. "That's your job."

"Still counts, doesn't it?"

"Nope," she said, making him laugh.

She wanted to tell him about the writing she really liked to do, about her stories—but they were silly. Nothing worth mentioning. Scorpius wouldn't be interested in hearing about her romance novels, would he? Besides, she hadn't written in months.

"Do you want to go on a date?" he suggested, breaking her train of thought. "You can wear that dress you wore at the gala. If you want to, of course."

Rose tried not to laugh; she knew that dress had captured his attention. "You want to go out? Really?"

He stroked the side of her neck, at her hairline, sending a shiver through her. "This was not just a shag," he said, "not for me, anyway. But I know we haven't talked about it."

Looking at him, Rose felt fiercely that he understood and accepted her more than anyone else ever had. How was she supposed to believe that she could ever love someone more? Even her soulmate, whoever that was?

Her grin faded, then so did his.

"I feel so guilty," she admitted quietly.

"Why?" His fingers had halted in her hair, grey eyes filled with something—confusion? Fear? Then, realization. "Not because of…"

Soulmates.

Scorpius couldn't even bring himself to say the word.

"Our soulmates are out there, aren't they?" Rose asked, unable to mask the sadness in her voice. "How do we—I mean, what are we supposed to do if we meet them? Just ignore them?"

"I plan to, yes."

"How?" she all but demanded, sitting up against the headboard and wrapping her arms around herself. "How can you just ignore that there's apparently someone perfect for you out there, and you're just settling for me—"

"I am not settling," he cut in sharply, sitting up beside her. "Are you?"

"Of course not!" She looked down at his bare chest, then hers, feeling angry, frustrated, devastated all over again that there was nothing there, that they didn't bear each other's names. As if she could stare hard enough and his name would form on her skin, since he already lived underneath it. "I just wanted…"

I wanted it to be you.

Rose hadn't realized her eyes had filled with tears or spilled over until Scorpius had his palms at the corners, dragging gently across her cheeks.

"I can ignore it because I don't care whose name is on my chest," he said gently. "It can't tell me who I want to be with. I don't blame you for not seeing things my way."

She swallowed and closed her eyes. "I don't know what to do."

Scorpius pulled her into him, and she felt his lips at the top of her head. "The good thing is, you don't have to decide right now."

Rose stayed in his arms for the rest of the night.

Yoga, according to Laila, was supposed to be a de-stressor. Good for the mind, the body and spirit. Not to mention there was a little hope—a tiny one—at the back of Rose's mind that maybe the right stretch would help with her leg pain.

Yet, as she did another downward dog position, she sent an exasperated look beside her towards Laila. Rose was doing all the positions, and her leg had been feeling better lately, but the beginner class was a lot of downward dog. A little too much.

Laila hadn't seen her expression; she was in her own world, eyes closed, breathing deeply.

"And… exhale," the blonde woman in the front of the class—the yoga instructor—said in a breathy voice. "Exhale all the negative impurities, the stress from work, any issues in your love lives. Remember that you don't need a relationship to reach enlightenment."

That brought Laila out of her reverie long enough to send a smirk towards Rose.

"She's right, you know," Laila said when they walked out of the class, entering the busy muggle London streets, yoga mats under their arms. "Who needs men?"

"Says the woman literally in the middle of planning her wedding."

"Touché," she said grudgingly, grinning, "but my point still stands."

"You've already found your soulmate."

"Soulmate, schmoulmate." Laila shook her head as they stopped at a crosswalk, shifting her yoga mat under her other arm. "Listen, when you find yours and move in with them, you'll get it. Doesn't matter how much the universe says you're compatible when you find his dirty socks everywhere."

Rose snorted. She couldn't see Scorpius being like that—not that it was their destiny.

She hadn't seen him since the morning after his party, when she'd woken up and realized their one night together was over. She didn't know how to handle leaving, or how to say goodbye; luckily, Scorpius had merely kissed her softly, stopping her as she'd tried to say something before leaving. She hadn't ended up saying anything at all, and neither had he. It was a relief that there were no hard feelings, but nothing had been resolved.

Rose had spent the day back in her own bed, going between journaling, sleeping, reading and plenty of snacking. She'd owled Laila the situation—she didn't want to get Albus involved, considering how close he was to Scorpius—and Laila decided to drag Rose to a yoga class on Sunday morning, something she hadn't done since The Accident.

She really was thankful for her new friend. Even though she had her family, it wasn't quite the same, with them gossiping with each other about everything (except for Albus). Rose hadn't realized how lonely she'd felt until Laila had become part of her life.

"I have to admit," Laila said once they'd crossed the street, "I'm sort of living vicariously through you. I never had the guts to be with anyone who wasn't my soulmate, once I did the test."

This made Rose laugh, catching her off guard; the last thing she felt like doing was laughing. "Glad I could be of service?"

"Oh, come on," she nudged. "Isn't this exciting? You two could run off and try to never meet your soulmates, just so you could be together. Chosen soulmates."

Rose liked the term, feeling it on her lips. "Chosen soulmates. Sounds romantic."

"You can't tell me you're not even considering it."

"I've probably considered it seven-hundred-and-fifteen times, honestly," she said, "but I don't know. This can literally only end badly, unless we do what you say and run off to the countryside and never meet anyone ever again."

"I'll miss you," Laila said, pretending to be sad, "but it's for the best. You two are adorable together."

"You've seen the one photo of us in Witch Weekly."

"That's all I need to see." She nudged Rose's arm. "Have you figured out what you'll tell your family at brunch today?"

Rose stopped in her tracks, and Laila followed. Tourists jostled them. "Oh, shit."

"You forgot, didn't you?"

She switched her gaze to her watch, wishing desperately that time could stop. "I have one hour to figure out how I'm going to handle my dad. Who hates the Malfoys."

Laila was clearly enjoying this, but she led Rose to a bench, sympathetically patting her on the back all the same. "Listen, you said you have your cousin on your side when it comes to these things. He defended you when you retired from Quidditch, right?"

"Albus, yes," Rose said, nodding as they sat down. Laila hadn't met him yet.

"Just send him a message before brunch. Tell him that you'll go together, and that he should stick with you for the time being."

"Owls aren't that fast."

Laila pinched the bridge of her nose. "I need you to get a phone."

"Maybe," Rose said, wrinkling her nose; Laila was addicted to the thing. "Anyway, you make a good point. But Albus doesn't know what happened, unless Scorpius told him we slept together."

"Do you want him to know?"

Rose's first instinct was to say Yes, but she stopped short. For some reason she couldn't quite put a finger on, she hadn't been eager to talk to him about Scorpius. Considering she'd never kept anything from Albus in her life, this feeling pulled on her stomach and made her feel uneasy. Between the situation with Orion and his recent disdain for soulmates, she wasn't sure how to talk to Albus about it.

"Maybe I shouldn't go."

"Oi," Laila protested, balancing her yoga mat in her lap as she placed her hands on Rose's shoulders. "I did not listen to you Gryffindors banging on about how brave you are for seven years for you to bail out. Just like you did with Speed Dating for SoulMates."

Rose flushed. Laila was a few years older and had been in Ravenclaw, but somehow was demonstrating a lot more courage than her. "I'm going to that—I mean, I was, before this whole thing with Scorpius happened—"

"You're going to this brunch," she said, looking at her closely, "if for nothing else, to talk to your cousin, because I know how much you care about him and his soulmate. I know what it means to have family members on your side, and that's invaluable."

"Wedding planning is tricky, isn't it?" Rose asked gently, and Laila nodded. She'd heard all about how Amir's side of the family had refused to talk to Laila's, and while her family wasn't so happy about the marriage, at least she hadn't been alienated by them. Laila had only a few close family members who were happy for her.

"It doesn't even matter that we're soulmates," she replied quietly, turning away from Rose and staring out onto the street. "Not to them."

"I guess muggles don't really have soulmates," she said, whispering the word 'muggles'. As muggle-borns, both Laila and Amir couldn't get their families to understand the magic.

Laila shook her head. "Anyway. You'll have to tell them it's nothing, unless you want your family to assume that you're sleeping with someone who is neither your soulmate and is the son of their grade-school enemy."

"I guess I should get it over with." Not that it helped her feel more ready. "And I'm not sleeping with him. That was a one-time thing."

"You sure about that?"

Rose was only sure that she shouldn't do it again. Whether she would…

"So," Laila began, her voice teasing, "how was it?"

Rose only had to see the smirk on her face to know exactly what she was talking about. She blushed all over again and stared down at the rolled-up mat on her thighs. "It was good."

"Only good?"

"It was so good, I might have to quit my job." She didn't know how she was going to face Scorpius at work without thinking about him between her legs. "I'm fucked."

Laila whooped with laughter. "Well, you don't care about your job. It seems like there's an obvious path, here."

"I care," she protested, even while it felt like a lie. "I mean, sometimes the Quidditch aspect is painful, but I get to write every day. It pays my bills."

"You like your job, but it's not because of your bills." Laila was grinning pointedly.

"It's not," Rose confirmed, unable to stop the corners of her mouth turning upwards. "But if Scorpius and I aren't together… you're right, I think I really will have to quit my job." She didn't know how to work with him while also trying to squash her feelings for him.

"We should quit our jobs together."

Rose, lost in her indecision, actually considered it for a moment.

"I am the worst influence on you," Laila continued, making Rose laugh, "but honestly, I think you should be with him if that's what you both want. Fuck SoulMates, and fuck Quidditch World. You can do so much better."

After they'd gone their separate ways, Rose was starting to feel like the entire idea—being with Scorpius, or quitting her job—hadn't been as much of a joke, after all. As she walked home, the phrase chosen soulmates echoed in her mind, over and over until there was no way to ignore it.

Albus worked at SoulMates; she had to ask him about it, if there were others who had chosen their soulmates and wanted to reverse the SoulMates spell. She can't have been the only one considering it.

And unfortunately, that meant she had to go to the family Sunday brunch.

The Burrow was packed, as per usual.

It was a wonder Rose ever felt lonely with the number of cousins she had. On one hand, it wasn't ideal; she hated being around so many people, and growing up this way hadn't helped; on the other, there was so much going on that it was easy to get in and get out.

James and Fred were up to their pranks, of course. One would think that once they were in the late twenties, they would move past this, but Rose could see them behind the staircase, observing James' youngest sibling Lily, clearly waiting for something to happen. A moment later, a frog appeared on Lily's plate of food, making her yelp.

There were at least three crying babies, since once started, they all joined in. Two of them were Teddy and Victoire's, who had twins a year ago; one of them was her cousin Roxy's three-month old. Rose steered clear of the sitting room, where they were; as much as she really did like children, they were more enjoyable when they weren't screaming.

It took a little longer than usual to find Albus. Once Rose had a full plate of eggs, toast and sausages—Grandma Molly kept piling more on—she found him in the backyard with Hugo and Dominique. Luckily, her parents were not in the backyard, but they were always at Sunday brunch; one of them would spot her eventually.

In the meantime, Rose joined the three. Hugo and Dominique were debating the best way to deal with a curse, Hugo as a Healer and Dominique from the Curse Breaker's perspective.

Rose nudged Albus' arm with her shoulder in greeting. "All right?"

Albus shrugged and continued munching on a piece of bacon. To be fair, she hadn't expected much more from him; their last conversation had been tense. He still joined her as she sat down on a couple of free chairs behind them, a little farther away from Hugo and Dominique.

"I wanted to say something," she said, stabbing her scrambled eggs with a fork. "You know, about Orion and Ethan and all."

He sounded tired. "I'm not really in the mood."

"I'm sorry," she persisted, and Albus looked at her in surprise. "I get it now. It's not as easy as it looks, dealing with all this SoulMates business."

"Really?"

"Yes." She ate some eggs before speaking again. "I know you don't want Orion to be miserable, but you can't put him first forever just because he's your soulmate. Not if he isn't making you happy, for whatever reason."

Albus swallowed his bacon, narrowing his eyes. "What changed your mind?"

There was something about his expression that clued Rose in, probably a product of knowing Albus for so long and so well. "You know, don't you?"

"Well, yes." He grabbed a piece of toast off of her plate and took a bite. "He is my best mate, you know."

"He told you?"

"Not exactly." He finished chewing and swallowed before replying, clearly trying not to smirk. "I saw you two disappear at the party. You never came back."

Rose quickly looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"I'm not going to tell anyone," he assured, looking the slightest bit hurt.

"I know that," she said immediately. "You wouldn't, of course. I just—there's already this photo of us going around from the Quidditch gala, and I don't want to encourage the rumours—"

"Oh, yeah," he said, remembering. "Scorp told me about that. In The Prophet, right?"

"He knows about it?" She knew he'd seen that picture, even though Scorpius never indicated as much. "Why didn't he mention it to me?"

"He thought it would make things awkward."

Rose supposed that was an apt prediction.

"So, you're re-thinking the whole soulmates thing," Albus recounted, leaning back in the patio chair, "and of course, I work at SoulMates, though not for much longer. You're going to ask me if I can reverse the spell."

Her stomach dropped, even though she hadn't eaten very much yet. "How did you know?"

"You're not the first. Let's just say that." Albus gave her a grim, yet gentle smile. "It's not possible. I'm sorry. That's why you signed a waiver. If you meet your soulmate, and they're in the program, their name's going to tattoo itself on your chest."

Her eyes fell to her plate. "There's nothing at all I can do?"

"You could use a permanent concealment charm."

"That's not a thing."

"You could invent it."

Rose rolled her eyes as Albus sniggered at his own joke. "I've made a huge mess of this, okay? I need sympathy and compassion."

"I don't know if it's as bad as you think," he told her, taking a sausage from her plate. "Scorpius is the type of person to stay away from his soulmate, specifically because that person is his soulmate."

"Sounds stubborn."

"That's Scorp," he said, sniggering again as he bit into the sausage.

"Maybe I should—ah, shit—"

Rose quickly stacked her plate on top of Albus' empty one on his lap before hurrying to crouch down behind his chair, trusting his tall frame to hide her. Her father had just stepped out into the backyard, and though he had his back turned away from her, she wasn't taking any chances.

Albus was still laughing. "You know you're just drawing more attention to yourself, don't you?"

"Shhh!"

"Seems like your leg is getting better, by the way—"

"You look like an idiot, talking to yourself," Rose hissed from behind him. "You're going to give me away!"

"I'm going to give you away? Please keep whispering loudly, that's definitely going to help." Albus helped herself to more of Rose's brunch as she peered at her father, back still turned to her. Her shin was starting to get sore again, which usually happened when someone mentioned it. "By the way, is your second bedroom still empty at your flat?"

"Er—yes?"

"Brilliant. Can I crash there for a few months?"

"I guess, sure."

"I got a job at The Ministry," he said, sounding quite pleased. "Just an administrative position on such short notice, but I should be able to work my way up alright. Scorpius and Orion are moving to a two bedroom near Knockturn Alley at the end of this month, so I've got to figure something out."

"Wow. Congratulations," she said quietly. "That was fast."

He paused. "Things are a bit awkward at home right now."

"I can imagine."

"Maybe things will get better," he suggested, sounding hopeful. "I mean, the thing with Ethan is going well, Orion might forgive me if he thinks I'm not rubbing it in his face, we'll get some space once I'm not working at SoulMates…"

"I'm sorry, Al," said sincerely, reluctantly standing up; her leg was now throbbing. "I should've been there for you."

"To be fair, I practically live at Ethan's these days." Albus looked up at her, looking torn between happiness and guilt. It looked very familiar to her. "I think it's too soon to move in, though."

"Of course. You know you're welcome anytime." Rose took her plate back from him, though he seemed to have eaten half the food off of it. Some things never changed. "You're on grocery duty, though."

"Deal."

It was at that moment that Rose's father spotted her. Crap.

She froze, wide-eyed, ready for the third degree—how could you be with a Malfoy? You were supposed to stay away from him! Didn't you beat him in all your exams?—when her mother, seemingly out of nowhere, popped up in between them. She was speaking to him, clearly calming him down, hands on his arms.

And then, to Rose's great surprise, her dad stalked back inside.

She was still a little in shock when her mum came over, smiling warmly. "Hi, Rose, Albus."

"Hey, Aunt Hermione," Albus replied cheerfully. "Did you hear? I'm moving in with Rose."

"Yes, I heard it from your mum," she said to him, and Rose couldn't help but laugh. Clearly, asking was just a formality. "Rose, I'm glad you finally came to brunch. We've missed you."

"Just been busy," she lied—probably better than telling her mum that she usually forgot to come.

"Your dad's a bit concerned," her mum began, and Rose started shovelling her now-frozen eggs and sausages into her mouth. "We saw a picture in the papers, recently."

She smiled, indicating with her hand that her mouth was full. Albus was shaking, clearly trying not to laugh out loud.

"I figure you'd tell us when you were ready?" she continued, looking between them uncertainly. "Of course, we've all met Scorpius by now, he's a nice boy."

Rose swallowed thickly. "Nothing's going on, Mum. We're just working together."

"Yes. But if anything were to happen…"

"I'll tell you when I'm ready," she repeated, somewhat mollified by the fact that her mum wasn't losing her head over this. "But. Nothing's happening. Photographers make stories out of anything."

"I've told your dad this," her mum reassured, patting her cheek, "but you know your dad. I'll try to keep him off your case until you're ready."

"Mum—"

"She will," Albus put in, slinging an arm around Rose's shoulders. "I'll make sure of it. By the way, did you know Scorpius has a degree from the Wizarding University?"

Her mum looked amused. "Is that so?"

"Smart bloke," Albus said, nodding. Someone was calling her mum's name, waving her over, but still he continued as she turned away, raising his voice. "He's the monogamous type, and also loves children."

Rose sent him a dirty look after her mum left. "Way to be subtle, Al."

"It was not my intention to be subtle." He pecked the side of her head and grinned at her. "That could've gone worse, don't you think?"

She supposed he was right about that.

A/N: Hi hi! I hoped you enjoyed the Scorose moments, even if there's some tension there. In this world, they call it chosen soulmates, and we call it a normal relationship. Strange how that happened :P

Next: Rose goes back to work, and another prank in the office.