I stayed in the infirmary all night, waiting at Lissa's bedside. Dimitri tried to get me to rest but I refused. Baba and Pavel were already on the other side of the world on business, he checked in but he was in tense negotiations and wasn't able to leave for a few days.

Dimitri sat with me while I stared at a sleeping Lissa. He was looking at me intently, like he was trying to figure something out. "What happened tonight, Rose?" He said softly.

"What do you mean?" I asked. His question was vague, but I knew what he was asking. We seemed to know what the other was thinking, it was as though we shared one heart and one soul.

"You are keeping me in the dark about something. What happened to Lissa? She was perfectly happy this afternoon and now she tried to kill herself. And today, your ankle was bent at an unnatural angle, but you are completely fine, not even a sprain."

I stared at him for a second. My mouth felt dry, I knew that I was meant to keep things quiet. This was Lissa's personal business. But I stared into his soft brown eyes and all I could see was concern.

"While we were away, we discovered that Lissa has special abilities, not one of the four traditional elements. She has the ability to heal people, today she healed my ankle. I think it was broken."

He looked at me for a while before he spoke. "She can heal people?"

"Yeah, she never declared a speciality, but she was quite strong in all four elements. She has a very rare element called spirit, she has healed me a few times."

Dimitri seemed to take in this information and continued on. "But that doesn't explain what happened to her tonight."

I shuffled uncomfortably. "Spirit has some unwanted side effects that we call the darkness. Lissa gets a build-up of negative thoughts and emotions, I get angry and aggressive. As her bond mate, I can take those dark feelings from her, as the darkness can be overwhelming. We haven't had any time to deal with the darkness and Lissa resorted to old coping mechanisms."

"She cut herself to deal with the pain?" He asked

"Yes, but this time she went deeper than she had before and lost a lot of blood. She hasn't done this for over a year, we had found a way to cope with this together."

"What happened?" He took my hand, giving me a small squeeze to show his support.

"Kirova has been keeping us apart and I have been busy with my training. Busy with you…"

I felt guilty, neither of us had set the time aside to manage the darkness properly. Natalie had always been around and I had been spending more and more time with Dimitri.

"You two have drifted apart." He said. I leaned against him for support. I felt like I had let Lissa down when I'm supposed to be her best friend and guardian. "You should take the time to reconnect with each other."

I nodded and buried my head into his shoulder, trying to catch his scent to help calm me down.

I woke up to someone shaking my arm. My neck felt stiff and I realised that I fell asleep face planted on the side of Lissa's bed. I turned my head to see Lissa's green eyes looking at me.

"What happened?" She asked with a croaky voice.

"I got pulled into your head, you were passing out in your own pool of blood."

She closed her eyes and lay back in her bed.

"What were you thinking Liss? Why did you heal me? You could have died!" I said to her angrily. All of my stress from the last twenty four hours bubbled to the surface and perhaps some sexual frustration.

"I'm sorry Rose, I thought I was handling things on my own. I just got overwhelmed by the healing last night."

"You shouldn't have to! You should have come to me. What about your coping strategies like meditation? Have you been doing that?"

"No, I haven't been able to with Natalie talking incessantly every minute of every day." Lissa slumped back in bed.

"We need to purge the darkness, I feel it building in both of us. Why didn't you tell me it was getting this bad. I can't look after you if you don't tell me what is happening."

She looked at me with a frown on her face. I could feel her frustration through the bond. "What about you Rose. You have been keeping secrets from me for months. Of course we haven't had time to purge the darkness, we haven't had any time together."

"That's not my fault, it's Kirova's. I'm busting my arse to protect you, training an extra five hours per day, of course I haven't been able to see you. I barely have a moment for myself, let alone finding you not with Natalie or Christian."

I could feel her frustration build into anger. "You are trying to protect me? I have been looking after you. I have been protecting you."

"I never asked you to and what the hell is that supposed to mean anyway? I'm supporting you whenever this freak keeps leaving his sick presents at your feet. I took the blame when you trashed Wade Voda's room. I took you on the run when you felt unsafe. I also told you not to use your powers, as far as I am concerned someone is trying to test your abilities. I'm always protecting you."

Lissa was a coil of tightly compressed rage and again she stuffed it down in a compartment that she shut off from me. I couldn't delve into what was really bothering her, she was closing it off from me. "Sure, you are always protecting me. I'm not defenceless, I can take care of myself."

I should have held my tongue, but I couldn't stop myself. "And that is why I found you almost dead in a puddle of your own blood."

Harsh, but true.

"You don't know half of what I have been going through lately. You're not the one being stalked and having 'presents' left for you. You don't have the pressures that I do, so get off your high horse and cut me some fucking slack."

I blanched, Lissa rarely swore and never at me. I felt the darkness swirl around me and I snapped. "Of course, I wouldn't know what it is like to have pressure. To be this close from being kicked out of school and I have to work twice as hard as everyone else to catch up. Dimitri thinks that-"

"I don't give a fuck what he thinks." She snapped. I couldn't tell what she was thinking because she blocked me through the bond. "Did you tell him about me?"

I avoided looking directly at her, feeling guilty for telling Dimitri before I had told her about us.

"What happened to us keeping it all secret?" She asked, she sounded hurt. The feelings were so strong they came through the bond. She felt betrayed.

"He's my mate, and this affects me too." I said softly.

She looked at me with fury and that was when I realised that was the first time that I confirmed my relationship with Dimitri. She turned away from me. "Get out, Rose."

So I did.

Despite the building darkness between us and our need to clear the darkness away, Lissa chose to stop talking to me. Dimitri told me that the school wanted to put her on medication. My father had previously made himself her legal guardian and it was still a few days until he could return to Montana to sort things out.

A sophomore had been in the clinic that night for an asthma attack and spotted Lissa when he was leaving, which meant that the whole school knew about the late-night clinic visit. But the juicier gossip was that the rumour mill knew that she wasn't talking to me and as a result my social standing plummeted.

Things returned to the whispers and stares when Jesse first opened his mouth. Lissa sat with the popular royal click, deliberately avoiding looking at me. Knowing that Mason and Eddie would accept me, but the rest of my classmates would not, I chose to sit with Natalie.

"Are you alright Rose? I have heard all sorts of rumours about you and Lissa. I heard that Lissa tried to run away again and you stopped her."

"That's the stupidest thing that I have heard. We just had an argument and this school is blowing it up to epic proportions. Who would say that?"

She lowered her voice, "I'm not sure, Why did she leave in the first place?"

I fobbed her off with a vague answer and excused myself to go to the library. When I was walking down the hallway, someone grabbed me and pulled me into an empty classroom. I was shocked to see Mia Rinaldi standing in front of me.

"I'm not in the mood for this today." I said and tried to leave the room.

"You are a little touchy, could it be because Lissa isn't the saint that everyone thinks she is." She looked like she was revelling in our situation, but I could see the barely veiled rage behind her eyes. Andre had wronged her, but this girl used it to fuel her and she wasn't going to stop. "She's kicked you to the curb and you're too proud to admit it."

"No, we are just having a difference of opinions. See there is this thing called 'Friendship', sometimes you don't agree and then you make up."

"Or you can realise what she really is and join forces with me to take her down. What happened in the clinic? I bet it's good, is she pregnant?" She had a maniacal gleam to her eyes that gave me pause.

"She is my friend, I'm not going to betray her. You should get to know her, she really is a kind person. She would never mistreat anyone." I said.

Mia's nostrils flared. "She is a bitch and she comes from a family of arseholes. They might hide how horrible they are with a nice face, but deep down they are conceited royals."

I looked at her with sorrow. "She isn't her brother. I'm sorry for whatever he did to you, but she isn't Andre. She isn't perfect and sometimes she can be a little self-involved, but she is a wonderful person and she would be a true friend to you if you cut the bullshit."

Mia looked like I had struck her in the face. I didn't think that she had expected compassion from me, she expected me to match her fire. She didn't know how to respond for a moment, until I saw the rage return in her eyes. "You are crazy, no wonder she dropped you."

I gave her a soft smile. "Look, if you ever want to talk, I am here. But stop punishing Lissa because of her family."

She looked puzzled by me and bumped my shoulder as she left the room.

I was very frustrated with how things were with Lissa and I was craving Dimitri. I felt my desire for him building again, I couldn't think straight during training. I was losing more fights than I won today because I was thinking about his arms and abs with the V towards his manhood. That was when Eddie flipped me onto my back and imitated a fake staking.

Just being around Dimitri and his scent helped. When we were training his scent grounded me and I wanted to make him proud.

Dimitri and I worked on the double stake technique for the first part of training. He showed me how to block hits with the stakes, which would be painful for strigoi. The technique involved fast strikes to the strigoi, using the stakes to inflict wounds on the strigoi while waiting for an opening to stake them.

This technique felt as natural to me as breathing. Dimitri cautioned me against favouring one particular technique, 'What if you lost one of your stakes in battle and have become too reliant on the double stake technique'.

We moved on to sparring. For the first time, I finally felt that I was holding my own with Dimitri while sparring. He was sweating profusely and even starting to pant, rather than easily swatting me away like he had done the first night we fought.

Strike, block, dodge. It was like a choreographed dance, as though we knew what the other was going to do next. I landed flat on my back and he staked me.

"We're done for today, let's pack up." He had his back to me. We had practiced extra late today and gone right through dinner.

"No, let's go again." I demanded. I was a woman on a mission, I knew that today was the day that I would win. I wanted to be equal to my mate. He turned to look at me, when he saw the determination in my eyes he gave me a sharp nod and returned to the ring.

We set up again for a final bout, this time with practice stakes. I sprang forwards with my stake, hoping to throw him off guard, but he was ready. His reflexes were fast, but I had become slightly quicker which came in handy as I narrowly avoided a glancing blow to the head.

I could feel the adrenaline pumping in my system as we circled each other, both feinting and landing blows. I had started to anticipate Dimitri's moves before they happened, but so could he. Our spar became a chess match where we had to think multiple steps ahead.

Dimitri surprised me, altering a move to go low instead of high and I staggered from the impact. He didn't hesitate and pulled me to the ground, trying to pin me. If he was a strigoi, I would get bitten or my neck snapped and I couldn't allow that. I got my right arm free and shoved my elbow into his face.

Dimitri grimaced in pain and that was all I needed. I threw all of my weight and momentum on top of him. He tried to push me off but I held firm while I positioned my stake. I thought he was going to buck me off but my stake came down over his heart.

I was straddled on top of him, both of my bands on his chest and we were both breathing hard. I gaze was locked with Dimitri, my whole body felt like it was set ablaze as his eyes raked over me. My lips parted slightly and I felt a clench between my thighs.

I let out a momentary groan when I felt him grow against my core and thrust against me. I tilt my hips and bask in the pleasure from the friction against his tumescence. He pushed in again and I let out another loud moan.

I felt something surge inside me, I wanted my mate desperately. I ground my core along his shaft, feeling my panties get soaked. His cock was so hard, I felt like I was straddling a tree branch. He let out a loud moan as I pushed my centre into his thick heat and bent down to suck his neck.

He froze as he heard a light muffled sound and very quickly he stood both of us up. "That was the guardians doing rounds. We should pack up and get you back to your dorm."

I could still feel the adrenaline pumping in my system, fuelling my desires for Dimitri. As I carried the equipment into the room, a thought occurred to me. I was well known for sneaking around campus, which meant that memorising all of the guardian patrols and timing of their sweeps was essential. The guardians wouldn't return for another hour.

I quietly closed the door behind us and locked it. I moved towards Dimitri, placing my hand on his arm. He stiffened in response, but I pushed on because I needed this. I initiated a kiss and he let go his resistance and kissed me back.

I gently ran my fingers down his spine and he shuddered with pleasure. I grasped his manhood through his pants and he growled with pleasure. I started to work on the zipper of his pants while kissing him with fervour. I freed his cock from his pants while he removed my shirt.

I stepped back to remove my shorts and then got down on my knees. I looked up at him with big doe eyes and said "May I alpha."

I stared at him with wanton desire, knowing that my heart would be broken if he denied my request. He gulped as he looked down at me in my underwear, I had a tight but low cut sports bra with a zip at the front and black, tiny knickers that showed my body to perfection. I knew that he was powerless to resist me and I unzipped my bra halfway until my breasts were bulging out.

I licked the underside of his length and licked the tip with my tongue, the small taste of pre-cum spurred my desire. I relaxed my jaw to take him inside me and I grasped the hilt with my hand. I started pumping my hands, coordinating with the movement of my mouth.

I slowed down and pulled back until the tip was just in my mouth and looked up to see his intense stare full of passion and lust. He seemed so entranced by me and I felt so powerful despite being on my knees. I plunged my mouth down and took him deeper to the back of my throat, he let out a low growl and snaked his hands in my hair.

I started to purr, producing vibrations that stimulated his cock. He gripped my hair tighter as I pulled my mouth back to his tip. My left hand grasped his firm, round cheeks, using them to propel my mouth further along his length until my nose pressed on his pubis. I hear him trying to stifle his moans and as I pull out I look to see him biting on his forearm to keep from screaming.

I resume stroking him while I slide my mouth back to mid length and purr again, his hips bucking against me. I move my other hand to cup his balls and give them a squeeze.

I continue my oral ministrations while I fondle his sack, feeling them tighten in my hands. I give a final purr and he moves my face away as I see his knot form. I open my mouth eagerly to receive his seed. His warm juice spurts all over my mouth, dripping down my chin. I fully unzip my bra, as his fluid drips down my neck.

I look up at his dark-hooded eyes and he continues to ejaculate. The seed spurting in my mouth and his growls of pleasure have me dripping between my thighs. I move a hand down to my tight pearl, stroking myself furiously as his seed coats the back of my throat.

Swallowing his juices satiates a need deep within me, helping me edge closer to the peak of my pleasure. His ejaculate continues to spray over my body, dripping from my mouth and down my breasts. I lick the tip as his warm liquid shoots all over my face and he growls with pleasure. I let his seed fill my mouth again, feeling energised and more relaxed.

He gently moves me onto my back, then drops to his knees to coat me with his special juices. I massaged it into my breasts while I worked on my tight little pearl. My own release comes quickly and my juices leak down my thighs, soaking my underwear. I show him my soaked panties and he moans as he spills himself further while I bask in his juices.

Eventually his knot retracts and I attach my lips to hoover up his remaining juices. "You are so beautiful, so sexy and so very dangerous."

I smile in response, still stroking the liquid all over my body. "That was amazing, I feel so much better." He tucks himself back in and then lowers himself next to me and licks his juices off my breasts and teases my nipples. I can feel my core clench as more juices spill out my cleft.

Dmitri lowers his head and sucks the moisture off my panties and then sucks hard on my inner thigh, creating another hickey. He moves my lingerie aside to gain access to my channel.

His tongue flicks over my sensitive nub, and I purr as he sucks and bites my clit. He strokes the hickey with his finger and a convulsion of pleasure wracks through my body. He covers my screams with his hand while I release a powerful orgasm. He licks my cunt with vigour as I pulsate with desire.

He plants gentle kisses along my body, peppering my neck and cheeks with kisses. I feel invigorated while still coated in his juices and under his heated gaze.

"I'm going to get some towels to clean you up. I love you, but we really need to talk about this though. This was very risky and I can't control how long I knot for, what if people came in and heard us."

My face flushes. I hadn't thought about this, my main goal was satiating all my desires. In the light of day once our passions subside, I lost control and it could have ruined us.

At the time, I couldn't think, I couldn't focus on anything else other than getting his seed on me or in me, it didn't matter. Every day this desire for him got stronger, surely it was a product of being true mates who hadn't consummated our union.

What's wrong with me?