Metal bites into his skin as Danny tries to break free from the table. He's lost count of how long he's been here. The GIW ambushed him with his parents' help after they found out that he was Phantom. They were so angry at him and no amount of begging had changed their minds. Now he's trapped in a GIW base while they experiment on him.
"Please stop! I'm still alive!" Danny screams as the scalpel cuts into his abdomen and an agent cuts a hole in him.
The agent laughs and turns to another agent, disdain clear in their voice as they speak. "Make a note of how it tries to play on human sympathy. We certainly won't be falling for that trick, Ecto scum."
Danny cries out as the agent peels back his skin, ectoplasm and blood leaking out as the agent starts digging around in his stomach with heavily gloved hands. Yesterday, an agent had taken his spleen and Danny isn't too keen to know what they'll take today.
It takes hours for the agent to dig around and note the regrowth of Danny's spleen. He's exhausted and his cries are nothing more than whimpers at this point, but it never stopped the agents. In fact, it just seemed to egg them on even more. The agents end the day by taking a rib, barely sewing up the hole they'd made.
All Danny wants to do is sleep, but the pain won't let him. Instead, he lies there, staring at the other metal table still covered in ectoplasmic goo. He stares and stares. His mind trying to save him from the spiral that's waiting just around the corner. Trying to save him from thinking about the fact that this table is where his little sister used to be strapped down, screaming for someone to save her before she destabilized and melted away.
All he can hear are the echoes of her screams.
Begging for mercy from people who don't care.
Begging for her brother to save her.
Begging for her heroes to rescue her.
Begging. Always begging.
Danny jerks awake with the echoes of his baby sister's screams still ringing in his ears. He's disoriented and doesn't know where he is. All he can feel is pain, and exhaustion, and heartache, and his broken core, and he wants his parents but he can't because they're dead and it's his fault.
An alarm is going off, and Danny can feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. People are rushing around him, talking over each other and making him think of the scientists that like to hurt him. That makes him flinch back, which only makes the pain worse. A keening noise is coming from somewhere and all he can think about is leaving the room he's in to find somewhere cold and dark. But when he tries to get up, hands touch him and they hurt.
He needs to leave, but he can't because he'll be punished even worse, but what's one more hurt when all he feels is pain. Everything is too bright and too loud, and all he wants is for the pain to stop, so he throws his arm out to try and stop the people touching him, but they just hold on even harder. Danny doesn't recognize any of them. Where's his handler? Why won't they just leave him alone? Don't put him in the chair. Not the chair. Anything but the chair. PLEASE!
…
…
…
Gasping for air, Danny is huddled in a corner. It takes him a while to calm down, but when he does, he realizes that the room is darker. The lights have been dimmed so they aren't so harsh and only one person is in the room with him. The man from yesterday.
Tony, isn't it?
Danny winces from the pain of crouching on the floor, but he doesn't move from his spot. He realizes that he's still in the hospital room from yesterday and that calms him a bit more.
Looking around, he notices the complete silence, except for the tapping of fingers on a phone and some light music. It's very calming and melodic, and it gives Danny a chance to breathe deeply.
The tapping stops for a moment before continuing, drawing Danny's attention over to Tony.
Tony is…an enigma to Danny. He sits in a chair against a wall near the door looking slightly disheveled. His perfect hair is a mess. His shirt is covered in some kind of stain that smears across his chest and his pants have holes in the knees.
He doesn't look at Danny, but Danny can see the way Tony is trying (and failing) to stay relaxed. He can see it in the way his eyes flicker over at Danny, only to quickly return to his phone. Danny knows Tony wants to ask questions, but he doesn't, and that's the most confusing thing about him.
Danny tries and fails to get off the ground and back on the bed. When his legs give out, he just leans back against the wall and stares at Tony, waiting for the man to do something.
Tony seems to sense his gaze because, after just a few moments of staring, he turns his attention to Danny.
"How ya doing over there, kiddo? That was some panic attack you had." Tony doesn't wait for a response, standing up from his chair.
Danny braces himself for whatever might come next. He just knows he's going to be put in the chair for his outburst.
Tony comes closer, but stops when Danny hunches in on himself. He crouches down so that he's on Danny's level, looking, for some reason, concerned. "Hey there. The doctors are a bit worried that you might have hurt yourself when you panicked. Can you stand up?"
Danny stares at Tony for a moment before giving him a small shake of his head.
"Okay. I'd like to help you up and back in bed. Are you okay with me touching you?" There's so much concern in his eyes, but Danny doesn't trust it.
When Danny gives Tony a small nod, the man stands and moves closer. It makes Danny nervous. He slams his eyes shut so that he doesn't have to watch Tony come closer and closer to him.
The feel of hands under his arms forcing him to get up makes him flinch, but Tony doesn't say anything about it. "Up and at 'em kid. Let's get you back in bed so the good doctors don't have a heart attack," Tony says softly.
Danny doesn't open his eyes as he's led back to the bed. It isn't until he's lying back down and the soft blankets are covering him again that he slowly opens his eyes again. Tony has let him go and is now back in the chair he was sitting in. Just…watching him.
Is Tony waiting for him to say something? He's never been prompted to talk when there is no question. Danny decides it's in his best interest to just watch the man until someone orders or questions him.
The silence is broken by Tony, who scooches his chair closer to the bed. "Alright, kid. You need a name because I can't just keep calling you kid and I'm not calling you something as stupid as Phantom Soldier. You got any suggestions?"
There's only silence.
"Uh-huh. Well, looks like it's up to me then?" Tony says, "Hmm. What about Michael or Mike? Terry? Adam? Patrick? Nathan? Tom? Brad? Robert?"
With each name said, a slight pause follows. When Danny doesn't respond, Tony just goes to the next name.
"Alright, kid, this is the bottom of the barrel. I don't expect you to like this one, but what about Darren?" Tony looks at him with a little hope, but mostly defeat.
Danny doesn't really like the name, but it's the closest to his own name and if he can't use his name, then this one will have to do. So, he gives Tony a small nod and watches as relief flickers over the man's face.
"Darren huh? Well, I can work with that," Tony says, giving DannyDarren a smile, "So, Darren, can I do anything for you? Are you cold? Oh, you're going to need clothes. Anything you like in particular?
"Never mind, I'll take care of everything. Well, Pepper will take care of everything." Tony rambles on, evidently no longer caring if his audience talks back.
Darren watches Tony continue to talk about things he's no longer sure about. He's too caught up on the name 'Pepper'. Is that Tony's boss? Is this Pepper person the one who will give him orders? He hates the uncertainty of this entire thing. Waiting for more hurt to happen. Waiting for his orders to be given.
He just wants this all to be over with. He wants his friends. His family. His people.
His people?
Who are his people? He…he doesn't remember where that thought came from. Too many times in the chair has left his brain with more holes than Swiss cheese. Does he have people besides friends and family? The more he tries to remember, the more his fading headache comes back.
Something about that statement makes his shattered core cry out. Ice cold and searing hot at the same time, causing the pain in his chest to flare out. It hurts. Oh, Ancients, does it hurt.
"Kid? Darren, are you ok? What's wrong?" Tony grabs Darren's arm as he grits his teeth and tries not to cry out from the pain. "Friday, get a doctor in here now. Something's happening."
There's nothing these people can do for him. Nobody can fix the dead. Well, no living person can. He needs…something. Something that will fix his broken core?
Cold? Will that fix it? He needs Frostbite. He can't remember exactly who Frostbite is but Darren knows that he's important. He helps when Darren is broken.
White. Frostbite is white like freshly fallen snow.
The doctor comes rushing in and moves Tony out of the way. "Phantom? Can you tell me what's wrong?" She shines a flashlight in his eyes, checking for something.
Was that an order? It certainly sounded like one. "Cold. I need cold," Darren spits out through gritted teeth as another flare of pain hits him.
"Friday, turn the temperature down for this room to twenty degrees," the doctor says.
Another person rushes into the room and cracks a few ice packs before giving them to the doctor. She hands one to Darren, who immediately shoves it underneath his gown where his core lays. The sharp bite of the cold makes him hiss, but it also comforts him.
It's different from the icy pain of his core. This cold is a familiar cold that he used to know a long time ago. It helps soothe the hurt with an echo of family.
The doctor seems to know that something has changed and hands him two more ice packs. Taking them, Darren places one behind his back, where his core is, and rests the other on the back of his neck.
It feels so good to feel the cold again. It's been so long since Darren was allowed to be in the cold that he's forgotten how amazing it feels.
"Your temperature is starting to drop to a worrying level. Are you doing alright?" the doctor asks.
Darren nods, "My normal temperature is closer to freezing and my pulse should be less than half the average person's heartbeat."
Darren watches as the other person who had come into the room goes over to the computer and starts tapping away. Most likely to enter what he'd said.
The doctor continued to ask him questions about his health and what normal is for him. He's heard the information so many times from the doctors and scientists experimenting on him that he knows this information by heart.
Doctor Cho shows no signs of horror at the dump of information but the stranger at the computer can't quite hide their shocked expression. Darren stares at them for a few moments before deciding to stop, instead looking down at his own hands.
It isn't his fault that he's like this…is it? He can't remember. He can't remember a lot of things these days. These people will probably put him in the chair and wipe the rest of his memories and then he'll just be a husk of nothingness.
"-ello? Darren, are you listening?" The doctor is still talking to him and he's zoned out.
"Yes," he says with a small nod, looking back up at her.
"I was just letting you know that if your body handles the fluids well tonight and most of tomorrow, then we can start you off on a liquid diet. I don't want to rush your body too soon," she says.
Darren doesn't respond, but she seems to expect this, turning and starting to talk to Tony.
"It might be months before he's ready to go upstairs, so don't rush things. Take care of yourself too. I don't want to have to call Pepper to come get you."
Darren watches Tony roll his eyes as he agrees. The doctor turns back to Darren. "Someone will be checking on you every few hours, but if you feel any pain before then, you make sure to tell us."
Darren nods, and the nice doctor smiles before turning and exiting the room, leaving him alone with Tony again. The awkward silence starts to build up again as Darren watches Tony fidget with his phone and watch. Between the cold of the ice packs and the quickly cooling room, he becomes even more relaxed. His eyes remain closed longer and longer with every blink and it's not until he yawns that Tony speaks up.
"I'm going to let you get some rest. I'll be in and out of here frequently, so if you think of something you'd like to have that will keep the boredom away, just let me or Friday know. I'm sure some of the other Avengers will be around at some point to check up on you and keep you company." Tony watches him and looks slightly disappointed when all Darren does is nod.
After Tony leaves, Darren looks around the room, taking in the random pictures of different places placed on the wall. His eyes lock onto the white cup that has the ice in it and he's reminded of his sore throat.
Darren grabs it and is disappointed when he sees that the little bit of ice has melted into water. He wants to drink it, but the doctor said no liquids, and water is definitely a liquid. With a sad sigh, he puts the cup back on the table, pulls the blanket up a little higher, and closes his eyes to try and fall asleep.
Darren sleeps off and on all day. He's so used to being under constant guard that every time the door opens, he's instantly awake. He watches as different people enter the room and check things out on the machines or computer. He watches as they occasionally check his bandages. The minute they leave, he goes back to sleep.
Tony comes back twice, but only stays a few hours after the silence lasts for too long. He fills the room with ramblings that Darren doesn't understand, but when he's done, he leaves with that sad, disappointed expression on his face. Darren doesn't understand what he's doing wrong to cause it, but no one is yelling at him or punishing him, so he isn't sure what to do about it.
He still has no orders, so all he can do is sleep and hope that tomorrow will be less confusing than today.
"Bucky, you can't keep beating yourself up about this. You weren't you. You had no choice," Steve says.
It's almost midnight, and Bucky is pacing back and forth in the living room. He's been like this since they'd gotten back from the mission. After the debrief, he'd rushed to the room that Tony had set aside for them. All he can think about are the glimpses of memories he keeps getting. Small snippets of being ordered to fight this tiny kid. Of the kid being beaten to a bloody pulp, begging for him to stop all while refusing to defend himself.
Bucky wants to throw up. He wants to go back in time and beat the absolute shit out of Hydra. He almost wishes he'd never been unfrozen from the cryo chamber in Wakanda, because then he'd never have to feel like this…he wouldn't have to carry this giant ball of guilt and anxiety and shame.
Buck turns sharply to look at Steve, who's sitting at their kitchen island. "You don't understand, Steve! That kid has been in my nightmares for months now. I've been trying so hard to forget about the past that I managed to trick myself into believing that kid didn't exist!"
Bucky swallows hard. "I beat the shit out of that kid. I beat him to within an inch of his life. I would be forced to drag him out of his windowless cell and fight him." He chokes on the words as he forces them out. "If I hadn't been such a fucking coward, we could have saved him sooner!"
Steve walks over to Bucky and wraps him in a tight hug. He'd been doing this a lot since the memories of Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier started surfacing. Bucky would be in the middle of a sentence and then a memory would unlock and he'd have a meltdown. Steve would do what he does best and try to fix the disaster that is Bucky without fail.
It's why Bucky loves him. It's why Bucky will never tell him that he loves him.
Steve leans back and stares into Bucky's tear-filled eyes. "That wasn't you. It wasn't your fault, Buck. You never would have touched that kid if you hadn't been brainwashed. You've got to stop beating yourself up about it."
"You didn't see him. You didn't see the way his eyes lit up with terror. He thought I was going to kill him, Steve! I'll never be able to look that kid in the eyes and tell him how sorry I am. He's never going to have a normal life because of the shit I put him through," Bucky says.
Steve lets out a soft sigh. He takes a step back, and already Bucky misses his warmth.
"You keep telling me I'm not a monster, but now we have a kid in medical that says otherwise," Bucky says, his voice cracking on the last word.
"There's nothing I can do to tell you otherwise, is there?" Steve asks. "You keep talking about how you're a monster because of what Hydra forced you to do, but Bucky, that's not true. I've watched you pour hours of research into the habits of bees because there's a hive at the park you want to move because you don't want it accidentally destroyed.
"I've watched you volunteer at animal shelters because you didn't want the animals to feel lonely. What about the homeless shelters you hang out at because 'sometimes a person just wants to talk to someone who understands'? You've done terrible things, but that's because of the real monsters. Not you."
Bucky isn't sure how to respond to that, because deep, deep down, he knows that, but he also knows that he's done things that have surely condemned his soul to hell. It doesn't matter that it wasn't him because it was him. He killed Stark's parents. He assassinated JFK. He tortured that kid.
Steve must have seen something in Bucky's eyes, because he reaches up and gently cups Bucky's cheek. "Buck, you need therapy for this. If you don't talk to someone about this, then it'll eat you alive."
"What am I supposed to do Steve? Talk about my feelings? How's that gonna help me? That's not going to erase what I've done! IT'S NOT GOING TO HELP THAT KID!" Bucky yells. He feels like he's going to explode. His skin feels tight with all the hopelessness and anger he feels. What he wants to do is punch someone, but that isn't going to happen. Not here.
Steve's expression hardens. He grabs Bucky's wrist and starts dragging him toward the door. "Where are you dragging me? Steve? Where are we going?" Bucky asks, but Steve doesn't respond.
Steve doesn't stop until they're at the training room. "You need to blow off some steam, and I need to beat some sense into you. We are going to train until you can't hear that little voice in your head talking bad about my best friend." With that, he turns and pulls Bucky into the room.
Bucky's been in here often enough to train with the team. He knows that Tony modified the equipment so that even a supersoldier can get a real workout in. He knows that the mats are made with self-repairing fabric so that they can train as hard as they want. Bucky knows that behind the paint and plaster are walls made of vibranium, so that if things get out of hand, they won't accidentally destroy Tony's building.
Steve goes over to the far wall and opens up a locker filled with various things they might need for the workout. He grabs some hand wraps and walks over to the mats. When Bucky finally joins him, Steve's already got one hand wrapped and is working on the other.
"Do we really have to do this? It's not going to change anything. It's not going to suddenly turn me into someone I'm not," Bucky says.
"We are doing this until you're too tired to listen to that stupid voice that says you're the problem. Even if it takes all day," Steve says as he finishes wrapping his other hand.
Steve throws the other wraps at Bucky, who automatically catches them. With a huff, he starts wrapping his own hands. Steve waits until Bucky is finished, and then attacks him.
Bucky, taken off guard, raises his arms to deflect the punch Steve throws at his head and steps back to avoid the kick to his side. He looks for a chance to attack, but Steve comes at him fast and hard, leaving no openings for a counterattack.
They're at it for what must be five minutes when Bucky finally sees an opening. Steve goes in for a chest punch, but the door to the room opens and he turns his head towards the noise. Bucky takes advantage of his distraction, grabbing Steve's arm and turning so he can throw Steve over his shoulder. It works and Steve ends lying on the mat.
Bucky smirks and goes to kick him gently, but Steve grabs his ankle still on the mat and jerks, causing Bucky to fall. Both supersoldiers lay there and look at each other for a few moments before bursting into laughter. Neither have broken a sweat, but Bucky still feels better for the small amount of energy expended.
"You boys done playing around, or do I need to come back later?" Amusement laces the familiar voice.
"Nah we're done, Nat," Bucky chuckles.
"Well, then get your asses up and get changed. Clint's downstairs making dinner," Nat says before turning and leaving again.
Bucky lays there for a moment more before getting up. Steve is already up and making his way to the showers. Bucky can't help but watch the backside of his best friend walking away. It's the only time he can ogle him without Steve noticing.
"Come on, Buck. Hurry up, or we'll be the last ones to show up," Steve yells without looking back.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming," Buck says as he jogs to catch up.
"You said he wouldn't get hurt! Look at him, Clockwork. He can barely talk! How are they supposed to get him to trust them after what he went through?" A young goth turns to the figure in anger and frustration.
Clockwork turns to another screen that shows the Avenger Clint Barton making a large amount of spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread and salad. His adult form flickers to his elder form before switching to his child form, and he turns to look at the angry teen ghost.
"Out of all the timelines I saw, this is the one where he survived with the least amount of damage. Have faith, young Sam Manson. All is as it should be." the cryptic ghost tells her.
"No! I am not dealing with your cryptic bullshit! When do we get to see him? He needs us. He needs ectoplasm to heal and last time I checked, the Avengers don't even know what that is!" Sam floats over and pokes Clockwork in his chest as she yells at him.
A dark-skinned teen looks away from the screen showing Danny sleeping in the hospital bed. "Sam. We can't help him when he's like this," he says sadly. "We can do a lot of things, but he needs more help than even Jazz can give him. We need to be patient and listen to CW. I don't want to wait any more than you do, but we might do more harm than good if we try to help him now."
Sam floats over to Tucker, tears shining in her eyes as she turns back to the screen. "I miss him, Tucker. I hate seeing him in so much pain and not being able to help him. It took us so long to collect ourselves that we were too late to save him from those bastards." She places a hand on the screen, as if trying to touch the young man on the other side.
Tucker places an arm around her shoulders. "I do too, Sam. We have other things we can do while we wait. Now that he's been found, we can go visit Jazz and let her know what's happening. I'm sure she'd appreciate an update and we can visit with her for a while before we let the others know."
"Yeah okay. It's been a while since we've visited everyone," Sam says before giving a loud whistling that seems to echo much more than normal.
A neon green portal opens up in the large clock tower and a small puppy comes barreling through the portal barking with excitement. The portal closes as the small green pup runs to Sam, flying up so it can lick her face with enthusiasm. Laughing, she holds the pup back so she can breathe.
"Hey Cujo. You're still the bestest pup around I see," she says and the puppy barks in reply. "We need to see Jazz. Can you take us to her?"
Cujo barks and squirms out of Sam's grip to land on the wooden floor. With great fervor, the pup digs into the floor, creating another large portal. Sam wastes no time and steps through. Tucker gives a wave to Clockwork and then he too disappears into the portal.
Once the portal closes, Clockwork pulls up another screen to show a happy and healthy Danny surrounded by laughing Avengers. Cujo is sitting in his lap while Sam and Tucker pester Tony Stark. "You'll have many trials, but you will also have many accomplishments. In the end, it will make you a great Leader and King."