A/N: Back again with Subway. What a depressing episode. All the same Wtf's that I did my best to explain. The worst of it is the whole "sanctioned by this committee" line that Shaw says. Really? Talk about retconning. Merriwether was a little too quick to jump on the Shaw bandwagon, don't you think? Anyway, I did a massive time estimate and it looks like, barring any unforeseen circumstances, that I should be able to finish this epic by the end of 2025. I'm already at 500K words as of last chapter! Whoa! That's like War and Peace lol. I'm thinking of a very short little Christmas story set in the Darkness world. Still have several other shorter stories in the works for next year too. Enjoy!
The next morning Chuck and I were in Castle with Chuck's father.
There wasn't much going on, CIA work-wise, but we were checking on things just the same like we always did. Of course, we were isolated in Castle. Outside, things were completely awry. We just didn't know about it.
Ellie didn't know her father had come back after she had put a tracker on him, doing the Ring's bidding for them. She also had a major altercation with Casey in her apartment, that we knew nothing about. In fact, Ellie had been whisked away by Justin, supposedly for her protection. That had led to Devon believing she had been gone all night, fueling the worry that Ellie was being unfaithful, which was perpetuated by Morgan, who was also out of the loop of information.
Chuck's father was working on a device called the Governor. What was this? A Rolex watch that had a tiny computer embedded in it that would help to regulate the Intersect and its deleterious effects on the brain. Stephen had an Intersect, and had been aware that it could cause damage. He had built his Governor as a remedy. He never knew Chuck needed one too, because he thought Chuck was no longer an Intersect.
Chuck never told me the truth about his own diagnosis, but he also never told his father that he had started to have symptoms. Stephen thought he had plenty of time. In turns out, the 2.0 was exponentially harder on the brain than the one Stephen had, or the one Chuck had originally downloaded. Once the decline started in Chuck, it accelerated quickly. He went from barely any symptoms, to dreams, to potential incapacitation in a matter of weeks, not years, like Stephen thought.
They led me to believe that Stephen was just "fixing up" a watch that he wanted to give to Chuck. Chuck was deflecting, avoiding, but his father suggested we go outside and get some air. I noted Chuck had seemed nervous, more nervous than usual. I asked him what was wrong many times, but he stonewalled everytime.
I never imagined it was as bad as it truly was. It was about to get worse really fast.
Chuck and I went to the local farmer's market that was a few blocks from Castle. I spent a good amount of time talking Chuck down, trying to stop him from worrying. I reminded him that everything was fine, that he was fine, and that Shaw was dead. Because I didn't know how profoundly I had been lied to.
I had bought a small pint of fresh blueberries that were delicious and I was snacking on them as we walked. I left Chuck, just for a second, to buy some cream from another vendor.
When I returned, I couldn't find Chuck anywhere. I searched, but eventually I had to call him. He was down in the subway station. He looked like he had just seen a ghost, visibly trembling and pale. He told me he had just seen Shaw.
While he was alone, he had a painful flash, a new symptom he kept hidden. He had flashed on Shaw's voice and followed the person down into the subway station. He had seen Shaw on the train…and Shaw had intentionally acknowledged Chuck.
We rushed back to Castle to try and do some intelligence gathering. I tried to get in touch with Beckman, but I was told she was indisposed. The reason why she was is important, but I'll get to that later.
Casey was there, with a gash on the side of his head. Chuck asked him what had happened, but he lied, saying he walked into an open cabinet door. I don't know why Casey didn't tell Chuck the truth, other than, for whatever reason, he believed that Ellie was cheating on her husband and didn't want to upset Chuck.
It was hard for Morgan to believe, but he had believed it, thinking the recording he had been given by Casey couldn't be explained any other way. Morgan had known Ellie all his life…and he believed it. Casey knew her, but not nearly as well, so I guess it's a fair argument. I understand he was only protecting Chuck, but if he had only asked Chuck, things would have been so different. Maybe my father-in-law would still be alive.
Let me be clear. It isn't Casey's fault; the only culpability in that tragedy was Daniel Shaw and the evil in his heart. Casey not asking Chuck is only part of the tragedy.
Because Chuck would have known, right away, that Ellie would never be unfaithful. I would have known, too, because she was greatly responsible for raising Chuck. And if there is only one thing I know for sure in this world–Chuck would never be unfaithful either. It's just not how they are made.
In the midst of a heated discussion, Stephen went straight to the computer and started searching the surveillance footage at the subway station. Granted, we didn't normally have that kind of capability where active surveillance wasn't already in place. Stephen was a computer genius, but also a genius hacker, as we had seen last year when we had first encountered Orion. Chuck had learned much of what he knew about hacking from his father.
In no time, Stephen had isolated the footage from the exact station at the exact time that Chuck had followed Shaw into it.
I saw the footage, saw where Chuck appeared, frantically searching. Stephen froze the screen.
It was Shaw.
"Oh my God, Daniel." I felt all the blood drain from my face, my heart racing and my stomach churning. I just blurted it out, not even realizing what I'd said or how I'd said it. I'm sure it didn't make Chuck feel any better, especially after the debacle with the earrings. I wished I could take it back, but it was too late.
We saw where he exited the station. Urgently, we got ready to go. We were determined to take Shaw out. Stephen was worried that it was a trap, that we shouldn't go.
Of course, Stephen was right. Another mistake we made, not listening to him. His overall paranoia about everything sort of shaded the truth in his words, that this time, it was most certainly a trap. Why would Shaw have goaded Chuck like that unless he wanted us to follow?
I was so angry, so desperate, my spy senses took a backseat. Of any foe that I had ever faced, Shaw was the worst. I thought Chuck had killed him, but if he was back, here…he had to be stopped. That was all I could think of.
We found the exact door in the subway station. Chuck was able to unscramble the lock and get us in. I told everyone to split up and each take a floor. I searched multiple floors and came in contact with no one. Eventually, an alarm sounded, but from where or why, I didn't know.
Eventually I ran into Casey. I was surprised, telling him he was supposed to be upstairs. But it turns out between the two of us, we had searched the entire top half of the building with no luck. On the floor where I found Casey, I noticed a government-grade biometric scanner.
For kicks, I placed my hand against it–and it opened. With my credentials. I told Casey quickly we weren't in a Ring base…we were in a CIA base. And we needed to find Chuck right away.
What was going on?
Chuck was in the process of reuniting with his sister.
To be fair, Chuck had no idea Ellie was there, brought there by Justin, a CIA agent and double agent for the Ring. I guess Chuck started fighting with Justin and Ellie actually intervened. She was horrified.
She was wrongly under the impression that Chuck was there because Justin had told her they were bringing him in for his own protection. And then she freaked out because she thought Chuck had assaulted a CIA officer, which technically he did.
We had much bigger fish to fry, unfortunately.
While we were looking for Chuck, he chased Justin into the special meeting of the DNI heads, where Beckman was testifying. Ellie apparently followed him in there, and needed to be escorted off the premises.
We were still looking for Chuck when Beckman found Casey and me in the hallway. She explained to us what she had already explained to Chuck as he was being held in a cell after the confrontation in the meeting room. Beckman had been called to testify before the DNI and Joint Chiefs because the efficacy of the Intersect project was being called into question.
Of course, the initiator in all of that was Daniel Shaw, and the elaborate lie he fed to Beckman's superiors. Specifically Lieutenant General Merriwether.
A quick aside–we were never sure if Merriwether was working for the Ring. Beckman seemed to vouch for him. She said she had worked with him for a very long time, when she was a spy, and she trusted him. I don't trust anyone, not after Graham and my questions about him that were never answered.
But it was awfully strange how quickly Shaw was able to sway Merriwether, when the man knew the whole story of what had happened before. Merriwether was not Team Chuck, if you will. He was of the opinion that the Intersect was supposed to produce an efficient killing machine, not the emotional, conscious-laden Intersect that was Chuck Bartowski. In the end, not long after we did take down the Ring, Merriwether "retired." As in…we just never heard about him, or from him, again. That could mean lots of different things, but, in the end, it allowed Chuck and I to work together as agents without the threats from the government that could have held us back.
Chuck was vocal, too vocal, while the generals were talking. Shaw waltzed in like he owned the place in the middle of Beckman's testimony. He was disgustingly familiar with me, and even touched me on his way by. It made me sick to my stomach and I had to resist the urge to grab his hand and break his arm.
Beckman looked confused by Shaw's appearance. I don't know how much or what she knew before, but it was obvious she hadn't expected him to be there at that time.
Chuck and I tried to tell the generals about what had happened in Paris.
Shaw interrupted by saying everything he had done back then was done with the full sanction of the committee. What did that mean? He certainly hadn't been acting with impunity back then. Beckman had debriefed us over the entire Shaw debacle and explained back then. Had he gotten approval retroactively? Had he told an elaborate story? Or was Merriwether in on it? Seems very suspect. We'll never know for sure.
Shaw pretended to be honest, calling Chuck a hero, though I knew how condescending he truly was. After that, Shaw expounded on the current state of Chuck's well-being, and his mental and cognitive decline.
I interrupted by shouting out the lies Chuck had told me. Although Chuck had been cleared for field work, only because no one at the CIA knew that his flashes had become painful and debilitating.
"Do you want to tell her the truth, or should I?"
I hear those words, in Shaw's voice, sometimes in my nightmares, even now, 20 years later. Nothing Shaw ever did or said hurt more than that sentence. Because it was true. Chuck had been lying to me all along. Shaw knew. Shaw knew…and I didn't.
Shaw said that to hurt me, I know he did. But he wouldn't have been able to hurt me…if Chuck had just told me the truth. Chuck, in the end, was the one who hurt me, though maybe as a form of protection, my brain won't let me remember it without the evil glint in Shaw's eye, the fact that he was waiting to pounce once he was sure I had no idea.
"What is he talking about, Chuck?" I asked anxiously.
Chuck didn't answer. He let Shaw read the report out loud, each word a nail in my heart. My chest felt tight and it was hard to breathe. I glanced at Chuck, and he was just standing there with his eyes closed, pressed tightly closed like he was flinching. I knew it was true.
"Sarah, I was going to tell you…" Chuck whispered.
My legs were shaking. I had to sit down. I covered my mouth with my hands, trying to calm my breathing. I was angry, but more importantly, I was hurt. I felt betrayed, humiliated.
But no matter what, I loved Chuck. More than anything. It was the meaning of what I had just learned that sliced me open. Everything I had feared, Chuck's permanent decline, his eventual slide into insanity…everything I had gone to Dr. Dreyfus begging for help to prevent…it was all real, it was happening.
I had been so excited for the future–but there was no future. Only pain and misery the likes of which I could never imagine…because nothing had ever meant to me what Chuck meant to me. I almost–almost–understood why he would want to keep that from me. But it didn't make any of the pain go away, knowing he was only trying to protect me.
And worst of all, Chuck's subterfuge and lies had allowed whatever Shaw was planning to move forward. I had a sinking suspicion he was trying to take over the CIA, considering everything I knew. Step one was getting rid of us…and Chuck's difficulties with the Intersect gave him the perfect opportunity.
Beckman jumped to our defense, rolling through all of the successful missions we had done. Chuck sat next to me, but I couldn't look at him. I watched Beckman's presentation, hating how desperate she sounded, how out of her league now that Shaw had the upper hand.
Chuck interrupted Beckman. Casey mumbled, telling him they would figure out a way later, to just be quiet. I wasn't looking, but Chuck saw Shaw flash.
Chuck wasn't thinking, only reacting. He jumped to his feet and shouted that Shaw was an Intersect. To a room full of people who were looking for a reason to take us out of the field. Chuck was right, of course, but instead, he made himself look as crazy as Shaw said he was, or at least, was becoming.
Chuck rebutted Shaw's argument, saying he was about to do something. I looked at Casey, questioning with my eyes. What was he thinking? What was he going to do?
Chuck grabbed a letter opener and threw it at Shaw. It was exactly what Chuck explained to me his father had done earlier to reveal Chuck's Intersect status. Shaw was too devious, too quick for that. He let the blade pierce his shoulder. Chuck had played right into Shaw's hands.
I screamed no, but Chuck still did it. Chuck was hauled away at Merriwether's behest, all the while screaming that Shaw was an Intersect, sounding as crazy as he did the night they had removed him from the symphony hall.
Casey and I left quickly. He was intent on us getting out of there as soon as possible. I asked him about Chuck. Casey reiterated what Chuck's father had proposed, that we had walked into a trap. Casey said there was nothing else we could do for Chuck.
I told Casey that we had to call Washington and tell them what was really going on. He reminded me that most of Washington was already in the room we had just vacated. He was convinced it was only a matter of time before they burned us, and that they would come after everyone that we cared about.
I had to stop and think for a minute…asking myself why Casey would say something like that. Who was he referring to?
"Everything I care about is inside this building." I was firm, resolute. Chuck was my world. I wasn't going to run and leave him behind, no matter what it cost me. But Casey was definitely concerned. He bid me farewell and good luck.
He was worried about his daughter, rightly so. Because of Shaw's inside knowledge of us, Shaw knew Casey had a daughter. Who she was, where she lived…everything. Casey had been secretly visiting the coffee shop where she worked for months without letting her know who he really was. Chuck and I had no idea.
Casey went straight to that coffee shop to warn his daughter, but Justin followed him. While this was going on, Devon was accidentally reading Ellie in to Operation Bartowski, only with spotty information, because he had insisted on an "I don't know" policy because he hated lying to his wife. Devon ended up getting Morgan, who could fill in the blanks a little better.
Chuck's father was busy breaking Chuck out of custody.
I saw just a glimpse of Chuck as he was following his father's trail on the way out of the building. I caught up with him just as he made it outside. I called to him, asked him where he was going, a little out of breath.
He told me he was running, that his father was on his way. I told him he needed to stay and fight, not run. If he ran, they would put a burn notice on him and that he would be running forever. I didn't add the "like your father" part, but I know he knew that was what I meant.
Stephen pulled up in his vehicle, screeching to a stop and demanding that Chuck go with him. Chuck was torn between his father and me. I was begging him to stay, his father was begging him to run. But run…to protect me. That was the kicker.
An alarm started blaring, obviously because they had become aware that Chuck had escaped.
"I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm sorry, but if I have to choose, I will always choose to protect you." He grabbed my face and kissed me, firmly, with a determination that worried me.
I watched them as they sped away, wondering if I was ever going to see him again.
It was, sadly, the last time I ever saw Stephen Bartowski.
I was in shock, reeling. I should have run, but instead I stood there. The men coming after Chuck caught me and brought me to Shaw.
He had the nerve to tell me he thought I looked good. That love suited me. He was so…smug, so self-important. I was seething, trying to maintain my equilibrium. He rubbed salt in my wounds, apologizing for being the one who told me about Chuck in that public forum. And he called me Sam, rubbing that in my face as well. He was inches from me, his eyes full of malice.
I had enough. I reached for his gun and pulled it on him. I had no idea he'd triggered the silent alarm. I also fell straight into his trap. He gloated that he had gotten the better of me, that I was too emotional, that he could remember when nothing ever got to me.
Because I actually had people who I cared about, people who cared about me…who he was hurting and trying to destroy. Damn him straight to hell. I dropped the gun and when he bent to retrieve it I pounded the back of his head with my fist. They grabbed me, but it felt good, even for that split second, to see him flat on his face like that. Sonofabitch.
They cuffed me and put me in a cell. As the night progressed, Casey was brought in and put in my cell with me. He told me he had gone to warn his daughter, but Justin had followed him. He'd had to kidnap his daughter to protect her, but she, being terrified, had escaped from him. He told her he was her father…and she did get away. He told her to find her mother and run. He seemed ok, at peace anyway, because she was safe.
I filed that bit of information away, surprised by the personal side of Casey that I never expected.
The Ring, now in complete control of the CIA, was shutting down the entire operation and they were coming to take Beckman into custody too. Apparently Morgan and Devon were there and she happened to be on the comm. She told them to find Chuck, that they were our only hope. Thank God for that, because without them, I wouldn't have lived to even tell this story. None of us would have.
From what Chuck explained later, Morgan called him. Morgan told him what had happened, right before his father tossed his cell phone. Chuck convinced his father to go back, that Chuck needed to go back and fight. His father thought by running, he could keep me safe. But Stephen underestimated Shaw. He paid for that with his life.
In the morning, while we were still in CIA custody, Stephen took Chuck back to Ellie's apartment. She had the most intel on Justin and the Ring. They took her with them to where she had been meeting him. They saw the door to the Ring base.
Ellie told me the last words she ever heard her father say were: "This is the last time I will ever walk away from you. I promise. I love you, baby." He told the truth, but it's an awful truth, one that haunts my sister-in-law in ways that I can't even begin to describe. She confided in me, because I was her friend. She blamed herself for so long for what happened, for how she had let the enemy manipulate her so they could hurt her father.
Chuck and Stephen found the Ring base, where the proof that Shaw had downloaded the Intersect could be found. They found proof that the Ring had used Dr. Kowambe's research to reanimate Shaw. I heard this while I was in my cell with Casey, when the guards were telling Shaw. He looked shocked, panicked almost. I couldn't help but grin.
"Hmm. Don't know when it happened, but our boy became a man. Bartowski's a spy. Picked a good one, Walker…finally."
That was the nicest thing Casey had ever said to me.
Ellie did what she was told…until she saw Justin and Shaw arrive at the base and go through the same door that Chuck and her father had. Ellie was no shrinking violet, even on her worst day. She followed them inside because she was worried about them.
Chuck wasn't the one who told me what happened in the subway station. Blow by blow, he couldn't say it, never, not even after all this time. That was the single most traumatic, tragic thing that has ever happened to Chuck in his life. Telling it to me was like reliving it, and it was just too painful.
I heard the story from Ellie. She snuck in unseen and hid behind a cement column, with a full view of the confrontation. She wasn't up close, so she didn't hear every word. But she saw everything.
Shaw took the watch from Chuck, the one his father had made to counteract the effects of the Intersect. He needed it because he had his own Intersect, which was apparently breaking down his mind faster than the 2.0 had been doing to Chuck. The Ring copied the program, but it was obviously flawed. Shaw then challenged Chuck to fight.
And then he shot Stephen in cold blood, point blank in the chest. He died in less than a minute, while Chuck held him in his arms.
Ellie watched as they took Chuck away.
But Ellie had the strength and the fortitude to fight, despite being absolutely devastated. She ran out of there before they saw her…and she called Devon. Who then told Morgan.
Casey and I were left alone for a while, but then we were hauled out and loaded into a prisoner transport vehicle, with no explanation. We waited in the transport for what felt like hours and then the doors opened and they forced Chuck inside with us.
I moved to sit beside him right away. I had never seen him look the way he looked. Pale, haggard…destroyed. He was unresponsive. I looked at Casey, wondering. I asked Chuck where his father was.
He still couldn't answer. I could feel the pain radiating from him…and then I knew what must have happened. He was defeated, hopeless…defeated by Shaw.
And I knew what this all meant. Shaw was cleansing the operation. We had only a very short time to live.
Shaw was smug. I shook my head at him, disgusted. That made him angry and he slammed the door.
Casey tried to be positive, but Chuck told him there was no one left to save us.
How ironic that the people Shaw believed were liabilities because Chuck cared about them…were the ones who did.